An extra helping of Hoop.
First Helping: Ignorance is forgivable, because it's curable. But I've found that as I've gotten older and perhaps more mature, I cannot tolerate stupidity. Stupidity either pisses me off or makes me laugh in ways that cannot be considered kind. Don't glare at me like that. At least I'm honest about it. Hoop is currently working toward his business degree. You would think that in a field based around professionalism, people could at least pretend to know what the hell they're doing. Unfortunately this just isn't so. I listened last night as Hoop patiently explained to a group mate over the phone the meaning of the term "reward." At first I thought he was patronizing the poor guy and almost berated Hoop when he ended the call. I'm glad I didn't. For as it turned out, he deserved to be commended instead...
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: While I was on the phone with him he actually had to look up "reward" in the dictionary.
Tink: You're kidding me!
Hoop: No. But I think I handled it well. I tried not to sound like I was demeaning him. The guy is thirty-nine years old and he doesn't even know the meaning of the word "reward." How is that possible? How do you go through almost forty years of living without knowing basic concepts such as that?
Tink: That's awful! I almost pity the man. Has he been so deprived of rewards that he can't understand what it means?
Hoop: I know, right?! I mean, was he never given a dollar as a kid for taking out the trash?
Hoop: Did he never give his dog a milk bone for doing a trick?
Hoop: Did he never get a blowjob for doing something nice for his girl?
Tink: *Falls off the couch laughing*
Second Helping: I'm not an overly emotional person. I'm very capable of not taking offense to backhanded remarks, EXCEPT when they're coming from someone I really care about. It's all fair until you're holding my heart in your hand. Hoop knows this about me. He's usually very careful about how he phrases things, lest I take offense or over-think what he's trying to say. I know this is a flaw of mine. Last night over coffee, Hoop and I got into the dangerous conversation of morals and the decay of modern relationships. He desperately wanted to make a point about cheating partners, but didn't want me to over-analyze and apply the conversation to our relationship...
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: So there's this girl. She's NOT you OK?
Hoop: She doesn't look or act anything like you. You don't know her. Her name is Jane. Jane Doe. She lives in Brazil.
Tink: Brazil... Got it.
Hoop: And she's dating this guy. Um... Ghengis.
Hoop: So Jane Doe and Ghengis are living together. Jane starts going out and partying until late. This eventually leads to her cheating on Ghengis-
Tink: -should I be worried?!
Hoop: *Throws hands up in air* I said you don't know these people!
Tink: I really don't want to be having this conversation.
Hoop: Oh my God Tink.
I would like to go to a pet store and buy the smallest goldfish I can find. I would return it a couple days later. When the person at the counter questions why I'm bringing back my fish, I will answer with the utmost seriousness:
"It's eating me out of house and home!" OR
"It plays too rough with the kids" OR
"It just won't listen when I tell it to sit."
I just want to see what they'd do.
Labels: Daily Hoop Conversations