Filthy, In The Not Fun Way
1. Friday night Hoop and I blew off plans to go drinking so we could stay home and clean up dog puke, dog diarrhea, and dog puke that looked like diarrhea.
2. No matter how much you drink while doing it, it's just not the same.
3. Later on, once we'd sobered, we went to get some grub:
Hoop: Whatcha hungry for?
Tink: Anything but chocolate pudding.
4. We settled for soup and salads. There's something about cleaning up vile substances that makes you want to eat something healthy.
5. Saturday morning I got up early and went to visit Hoop at work.
6. But I got lost in the process and ended up screaming "Fuck!" in his ear instead.
7. To be fair, I got lost using HIS directions, which always seem to rely heavily on the driver's ability to mind read.
8. While mid-panic, I text Hoop the question, "First right or left?"
9. He replied, "Yesterday."
11. That evening we watched "A Clock Work Orange," a movie I'd always wanted to see but hadn't.
12. Fun Trivia:
Malcolm McDowell chose to sing "Singin' In The Rain" during the rape scene, because it was the only song he knew all the lyrics to.
Anthony Burgess originally sold the movie to Mick Jagger for $500 when he needed quick cash. Jagger intended to make it with The Rolling Stones as the droogs.
SPOILER: Despite its violent reputation, there is only one death in this film. Two, if you count Frank's wife, who died of Pneumonia.
13. Sunday, Hoop and I spent the day ordering kitchen appliances and putting together furniture.
14. Which probably sounds rather dull to you. But to someone who has been living out of boxes and bins for the last six months, it was Christmas.
15. I spent an hour shining our dining room table, simply because I could.
16. Later that day, after Duff had puked for what felt like the gazillionth time, I found the reason for his illness.
17. Sometime over the past four days the dog had decided it would be fun to gobble up a plastic flag.
18. At first I thought it was a tape worm, which really grossed me out since my method of searching involved using my bare hands.
20. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God." I chanted while pulling the strand from the pile.
21. The good news is, he hasn't puked since. So cross your fingers he's on the road to recovery.
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: What was that?
Hoop: That look you just shared with the waitress.
Tink: I was trying to be friendly!
Hoop: Uh huh.
Tink: You got me Hoop. I was signaling for her to call me after she gets off work so we can get together and molest you.
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(After reading THIS this article)
Tink: I understand why she was upset. I just don't understand why she won't accept their explanation and apology.
Hoop: She said why. She wants to be compensated with MONEY.
Tink: It would be one thing if the company that printed the labels was English speaking. But they're not, and it doesn't seem like they meant to be derogatory.
Hoop: Such is the world, babe.
Tink: You know what's funny?
Tink: If I bought a couch with the label "Cracker White" on it, I would not be offended.
Hoop: *Burst out laughing*
Tink: I'd probably tear it off and frame it.
Tomorrow: Prom Stories.
Wednesday: WWC Pictures!