(The 2nd anniversary of the day Hoop discovered this blog)
May I present to you...
THE HOOP INTERVIEW!
Also known as a really long and pointless Hoop conversation. Although I'm 99.9% sure there are no small children that read this blog, I would like to point out that this post has some mature content in it. So, flee little ones! Quick, before I corrupt your innocence! Are they gone? Good. Enjoy!
Hoop: How many questions are there?
Tink: I don't know. I'm writing them as I go.
Hoop: This should be interesting...
1. Would you say that you're a boob man, a butt man, or a leg man?
Hoop: Didn't you ask me that one last year?
Tink: I don't think so.
Hoop: Ass man.
2. What's your least favorite movie?
Hoop: What's the last shitty movie that we saw?
Tink: Um, The Happening.
Hoop: Yeah, put me down for that one.
3. If you could magically get any three items in the world, what would they be?
Hoop: Every card that I've ever wanted to collect.
Tink: You do realize what a nerd that makes you sound like, right?
Hoop: Every video game I've ever wanted.
Tink: You mean to tell me that if you could have ANY three things in the world, you would choose cards and video games for the first two?
Hoop: I already have everything that I want. What else is there?
Tink: Oh I don't know, what about a sweet car?
4. Where do you see yourself in a year?
Hoop: King of the world.
Tink: Pfft. You would. No, seriously.
Hoop: In a ditch-
Hoop: -sleeping... in a box.
5. Which are scarier, vampires or wolverines?
Hoop: What? Why would I be scared of a wolverine?
Tink: Oops. I meant werewolf.
Hoop: A werewolf.
6. Which is better, Pepsi or Coke?
Tink: Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb?
Tink: Costumes or lingerie?
7. Would you rather live in a mansion in Iowa or a shack in Hawaii?
Hoop: The mansion.
Tink: But, it's in IOWA.
Hoop: So? I'd just fly to Hawaii whenever I wanted.
8. Would you rather lose a pinkie or have Ebay shut down FOR-EV-ER?
Hoop: Lose a pinkie.
Tink: That was a quick answer.
Hoop: I'm just kidding. There'd be another Ebay eventually. It would be stupid to lose a pinkie over nothing.
9. If you were a cartoon, which character would you be?
Hoop: Elmer Fudd.
Hoop: Why don't you ask me what superpower I'd like to have?
Tink: I think I asked you that last year.
10. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Hoop: Ah-would-be-um, what do you call it? Invincible! And I could fly.
Tink: That's TWO superpowers.
Hoop: Superman has both.
Tink: That's because Superman has more than one super power.
Hoop: Don't tell me what I can't have.
11. What's the best T.V. show of all time?
Hoop: The Office.
Tink: Really? More than Chuck?
Hoop: Does Chuck come on next Monday?
Tink: *Sigh* No... again. Chuck doesn't come on until this fall.
Hoop: Oh. Then, no.
12. In your opinion, what is the most annoying habit someone can have?
Hoop: Breathing loudly through their nose when they talk.
13. Would you ever have plastic surgery done on your body (for purely pleasurable purposes)?
Hoop: Nah. Unless you wanted me to get a penis enlargement.
Tink: You want me to put that down as your answer?
Hoop: Hey, it's your interview!
Tink: Actually, it's yours. But oh-kay.
14. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?
Hoop: Canada... or Hawaii... or Australia.
Tink: Wow, babe. Those are three totally different places.
15. This is called "2 Truths and a Lie". You have to share three things about yourself, two true and one false. Then the blogosphere has to guess which is which.
Hoop: Do they have to be interesting facts?
Tink: I guess not.
Hoop: I have three balls. No, that's too obvious. I have no gallbladder. I have no life insurance. I love Mustangs.
16. Would you ever go on a reality show?
Tink: What if you would have no idea what the show was about until you were on it?
17. Is there anything that you've never told me before that you would like to tell me now?
Hoop: I have three balls.
Tink: I think I would know if that were true.
Hoop: I used to be a woman.
Tink: Moving on.
18. Is there something about me that you've always wanted to know but have never asked?
Hoop: Have you ever done another girl?
Tink: How would I DO another girl?
Hoop: What do you mean?
Tink: I mean, I don't have the necessary equipment to DO a girl.
Hoop: *Sigh* Have you ever touched the flesh of another girl in an sexual manner?
Hoop: *Grumbles* Fine.
19. What's your favorite cuss word?
Hoop: Fuck. No, douche-bag. Wait, is douche-bag a cuss word?
Tink: Can you say it in church?
20. Would you ever kiss a dude for $10,000?
Tink: What? You would kiss a dude?
Hoop: For $10,000? Definitely.
Tink: Wow. I- Wow.
21. What was your favorite toy as a kid?
Hoop: A vibrator.
Tink: Wha- NO.
Tink: Thank you.
Hoop: Is that it?
Tink: Isn't that enough? !
Look for the top 5 Hoop conversations in the post below...
Labels: Celebration, Daily Hoop Conversations, Mature