Pickled Beef

Happy Trails

2009-08-03T08:13:00.007-04:00

I started this blog three years and eight months ago. Which is only two months shorter than Hoop and I have been together. To say that I'm attached to this place is an understatement. In the beginning it was just a journal. I was bored. I didn't think it would last. Then people started to comment and it became more of a social experiment. Then I started to make friends. Writing became less of a "why?" and more of a "who for?". I was writing because of you. I was writing because I cared about you. Over the years Bloggers have come and gone. We've grown up, grown old, moved on. Those of us who stayed were a dying breed, pushed out by vlogging and Twitter.

But we didn't stay for the popularity, despite what some may think. We didn't write to stroke our own egos or because we had anything overly important to say. We wrote because we felt connected. I followed you guys through births and deaths and milestones. You were there to see me through Chris' death and quitting smoking, being laid off and getting married. You were there for every stupid Hoop conversation and the inspiration for every photo. Before I started blogging, I had never used a digital camera! I may not know your face, but you were there. We laughed and loved and struggled together and it made all the difference. And now... Now you're here for me to say good-bye.

Thank you for everything.

I'm not going to say it's permanent. But I won't bait you with false hope either. It hasn't been in my heart to blog for awhile. My life has taken me down other avenues. I'll always write and take pictures and think of you. Hopefully, every once in awhile, you'll think of me too. For those who still want to stay in touch, you can email me: twstdtink(at)yahoo(dot)com. You can also find me on Flickr and Facebook. I just started a new WWC group there! Who knows, maybe this blog will come to life again one day in the future, like Willy Wonka's factory. But with sporks instead of chocolate and none of those scary midgets. Until we meet again old friend, thank you for all the wonderful memories.

Love,
Tink

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
-Annie

Weekly Words Challenge 95!

2009-07-28T16:40:00.006-04:00

Sorry for the delay. Hoop started his new 1-10pm schedule yesterday and we're still adjusting. Then, when I was able to hop on the computer this afternoon, it started storming so hard our power got knocked out. But it looks like the cosmos are done having their temper tantrum. So without further ado...

The "words" for this week were Four and Fear.

How did you interpret them?

Four

...taken off of my new college parking pass! That's another reason I've been so quiet lately. If everything goes as planned, I should be starting classes this fall.

Fear

I have a fear of sharp objects. So you can understand how I felt when I found this roll of nails in our YARD.

(Other Photos)

Spider Web Strand

Swallowtail Caterpillars

They look like bird poop to deter other animals from eating them.

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier.

The "words" for next week are:
H
and
Fade

Happy Snapping!

The Most Bizarre Shopping Trip Ever

2009-07-24T15:35:00.000-04:00

I heard a report that said Wednesday was the best day to go grocery shopping.

Apparently, everyone else in my town heard that report too.

After two hours of playing bumper buggies with the masses, I managed to snag a checkout line that only had one person in it! It wasn't until I had half my items on the conveyor belt that I realized the old man in front of me was haggling with the cashier over the price of some pants. I waited patiently while he continued to block the aisle with his motorized ~~boat~~ chair. It was a voice from behind that eventually broke me from my daydream.

"Why isn't she moving?!"

I glanced back to see two old women. Well, to be honest, it was more like an old woman and an ancient woman. I leaned to the side so they could see what was happening in front of me.

"She sure is buying a lot of stuff!"

I glanced back again. Oddly, they had about the same amount of groceries as I did. As if me having more would have justified their comment anyway. I looked up and realized the ancient woman was openly glaring at me! Her companion then started to drum her fingers on the cart. Fortunately, the old man was done checking out at this point. I made quick work of loading the rest of my items on the conveyor belt and ran my card through before the cashier could even finish.

As I grabbed my cart to leave, I heard a sound that made me turn back around. The old woman behind me was clapping! I looked at the cashier, who was equally as stunned. This only made the old woman clap louder. Her ancient friend smiled at me smugly. I opened my mouth to say something. But what? What do you say to that? So instead I just shook my head and left.

I don't think I'm going grocery shopping on Wednesday anymore.

Weekly Words Challenge 94!

2009-07-22T12:11:00.003-04:00

Now that you all have caught up to me in time...

W is for Words

W is for Wand

Half-Assed
I went to the opening of Harry Potter (and The HALF Blood Prince) last Tuesday. I thought for sure I'd take some great pictures there. Do you know how many I took? None! I think I might have been under a Confundus Charm.

(Other Photos)

Little Yellow Flower

Crape Myrtle Bud

Turtle

Duck Family

Baby Ducks

I'll be by shortly to check out your submissions!

A Message From The Future

2009-07-21T08:56:00.003-04:00

Hoop was mixing some strange chemicals in his stomach, chili and cake I think, when suddenly I heard an explosion and was transported to the future!

And that's why my pictures for the WWC won't be up until tomorrow.

But don't let that stop you from posting yours!

The "words" for this week were Half and W.

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier.

The "words" for next week are:
Four
and
Fear

Happy Snapping!

Etsyetera

2009-07-19T22:27:00.013-04:00

Hoop was very thankful for all the comments on his comic strip Wednesday. His only complaint was that there weren't MORE. I told him he needs to find a more popular host than. He would also like to add that despite what it seems, he is not a pothead. To which I would like to add, "anymore". In other news, I found out today that the word pickle is also slang for dildo. Did you know this? Which makes the name of this blog very interesting... if not a little redundant. I wish someone would have told me three years ago.

Daily Etsy Picks:
Cloisonne Fish Charms (They do exist in America!)
Disgusting 1970s Betty Crocker Recipe Card Box (Fantastically gross.)
Flying Key Necklace (Reminds me of Harry Potter.)

WTF Etsy?:
Critter Hairpin (Scare the shit out anyone standing behind you in line.)
Silver Condom Necklace (Yuck.)
Cheap Trick Dress (Dedicating it to the band doesn't make it better.)
The Fifth World (What?)
Uterus Serving Platter (Perfect for baby carrots.)

You Heart Etsy:
Special Edition Jewelry Holder (A WTF nomination from Kelly)

P.S. I've opened my own Zazzle shop! Check it out. You don't have to buy anything. But please leave feedback here. Knot says I need more zombie stuff. I think some spork stuff would be nice too, as well as a new header.

Herbal Abuse 2

2009-07-15T18:45:00.002-04:00

For your amusement, here's another Herbal Abuse comic by Hoop.

(Click for larger view)

Weekly Words Challenge 93!

2009-07-14T09:51:00.003-04:00

The "words" for this week were O (Oh) and South.

How did you interpret them?

Ouch

Southern Living

(Other Photos)

Lil Bit's 15th Birthday Party

He said he didn't care what color his cake was. So we made it pink. Lol.

Lil Bit

Lizard and Snail On Tree

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier.

The "words" for next week are:
Half
and
W

Happy Snapping!

Comments and Answers

2009-07-09T16:37:00.029-04:00

Although I always read the comments left on my posts, I rarely get around to answering them. What can I say? I suck at this, guys. So today I'm taking the time to go back and dig up all the questions you asked in the last month that I never answered. Feel free to leave more in the comment section of this post. But I'm cutting you off tomorrow (at midnight). A girl's got to have a life. Or so I hear. I think I need the time to FIND one.

Q. From Blewknight on 07/07/09.
"2nd pic, the blue thingy next to the fish. WAY cool! What is it? I want one!"

A. Those are both fish charms. The light blue one (next to the dark blue one) is a miniature. My Grandparents got them for me in China. I can't find them in America. Which probably means they're painted with lead.

Q. From Gramps on 06/30/09.
"Imagine all the effort spent fighting off the alligators and zombies. (Or do alligators and zombies cancel each other out?)"

A. Dude. Zombie Alligators are no joke.

Q. From Woman In A Window on 06/30/09.
"That sign...is it a quad tone? You could do just about anything in a quad tone and it would be pretty."

A. I'm ashamed to say that I have no idea what a quad tone is. If by "quad" you mean clicking on four different actions until I get a cool effect, then YES, I used a quad tone.

Q. From Furiousball on 06/24/09.
"Why isn't hoop posting these?!"

A. Because Hoop is a pussy.

Q. From Tawcan on 06/24/09.
"Maybe [you should] have a weekly Hoop Comic segment?"

A. Hoop's actually working on another comic right now. But they take him awhile to create. So we're thinking they might be a monthly thing.

Q. From Niki on 06/23/09.
"Duff is a cutie!! What is he?"

A. Duff is a Rat Terrier. He's also very interested in the camera, which makes him a hard subject to take pictures of. Here's a picture of him as a puppy and again at two years old.

Q. From Chris on 06/23/09.
"When is your line of gorgeous cards going to come out?! :)"

A. I love you Chris. You always push me to do great things. I should have some cards out soon. Hopefully. Depending on when I get some moolah. Lol.

Q. From Chris on 06/11/09.
"Screw I Heart Etsy - what sort of goodies did you get at the bookstore?! :D"

A. I literally have a four foot stack of books to read. Here they are, my summer reading pile, in no particular order:

"Hope Diamond: The Legendary History of a Cursed Gem" by Richard Kurin
"Immortal In Death" and "Rapture In Death" by J.D. Robb
"sTori Telling" by Tori Spelling
"Quicksilver" by Neal Stephenson
"The Shack" by Paul Young
"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith
"Monkeywrench" by P.J. Tracy
"The Protector's War" by S.M. Stirling
"Passion Unleashed" by Larissa Ione
"A Lion Among Men" (Wicked 3) by Gregory Maguire
"The House Of The Scorpion" by Nancy Farmer
"The Halloween Tree" by Ray Bradbury
...and I'm sure I've missed some.

Q. From Fiwa on 06/11/09.
"Did it have a shop kitty? A used book store is nothing without a shop kitty."

A. Oddly, they don't. But I think it's because this place is so enormous, a shop kitty might get lost or crushed or multiply without anyone ever noticing.

Q. From Karen on 06/09/09.
"I like the leaning mailbox but I was really hoping for a picture of the neighbor's front yard swing set. Maybe you can fit that in next week?"

A. Would you believe, I went out to take a picture of it and it was gone! Either my neighborhood is even more ghetto than I thought and someone stole it, or someone complained and they took it down.

Got questions? Lay 'em on me guys.

Weekly Words Challenge 92!

2009-07-07T11:21:00.005-04:00

The "words" for this week were Blue and Happy.

How did you interpret them?

Blue Fish

Little Blue Sugar Bowl

Made by Gary!

Happy Rum

(Other Photos)

Glow Bracelets

(Pictures by The Beer Geek.)

My Nephews at the Fireworks

Hoop Trying to Avoid the Camera

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier.

The "words" for next week are:
O (As in "Oh" the letter and not zero)
and
South

Happy Snapping!

Etsicurean

2009-07-02T10:15:00.015-04:00

Daily Etsy Picks:
Cake Mail
Mythbusters Bots (I also love her Zombie Bot!)
Bombilla- Metal Drinking Straw
Bunny Jewelry Holder
Strawberry Chocolate Malt Crunch Pop (Mmmm!)

WTF Etsy?:
Hail Bacon Shirt (Clever, but still weird.)
Poopy Diaper Catnip Toy
The Felt Dangle (Oh-kay.)
"Don't Touch The Trash Can" Bag
Pancreas Mug

Weekly Words Challenge 91!

2009-06-30T11:15:00.003-04:00

The "words" for this week were 6 and "Look Up".

How did you interpret them?

6

Look Up

(Sunday Boat Ride)

Idle Wake

Holding Feet

Boat Neighborhood

I would love to live somewhere like this!

Fort Matanzas

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The "words" for next week are:
Blue
and
Happy

Soon: Sometime this week I'm going to have a post dedicated to answering all those questions you guys ask in the comments. I always read and enjoy them. I just never get around to answering them.
Thursday: I Heart Etsy!

Dear Job Fairy

2009-06-26T16:30:00.008-04:00

Please send work. I'm out of lotion.

Love,
Tink

P.S. I'll admit, I wasn't as stingy with my nest egg as I could have been. But who knew I was going to be out of work this long! As I sat in front of the computer yesterday, looking at my bank account and saying a bunch of expletives, I realized I had to do something (crazy). Otherwise I was going to start hitting into our "ABSOLUTE EMERGENCY!" money. That's the money I set aside in case Hoop or I ever ended up in jail or the hospital. It would be my luck that the moment I spent the money, one or both of those situations would happen. Hopefully unrelated!

Ugh. There are totally too many !s in this letter already. I don't want you to think that me running out of money means I can't eat. I can eat. I just can't eat expensive things like sushi, or steak, or anything that isn't on sale or B1G1 Free. Capeesh? Unemployment pays for 97% of my bills (thank God). So the worst thing that's going to happen by me running out of money is that my hair wont get done and my legs will start peeling (adding water to lotion only lasts so long) and I won't be able to go anywhere because my car will be out of gas and it's over 100 degrees outside.

It's enough to get a girl down. Last week I had to buy two weeks worth of groceries on $80. But I did it! I was so proud of myself that I bragged to the checkout lady, who didn't care one iota. This morning I realized that my littlest brother is turning 15 next Saturday. The thought of having to give him a crappy homemade birthday card that says "I'm sorry I suck. But I love you!" made my stomach sick. So I did something crazy. I gathered up all the jewelry my ex ever gave me and I sold it. I got $100 for it all. They even pulled out the gemstones for me to keep.

I thought I'd be sad. But I wasn't. I felt triumphant. And maybe a little liberated. I took a problem and I found a solution for it. I didn't have to borrow, beg or steal. I didn't cry and I didn't have a pity party. After pulling out the money for my brother, I went out and bought myself a bottle of wine... on discount, of course. I don't know what I'll do when this money runs out. I'm out of jewelry and Hoop isn't going to restock me ;). But maybe I'll have work by then. Are you listening, Job Fairy? That was a hint!

Have a wonderful weekend Homebloys.

I'll think of you over a glass of wine.

Herbal Abuse

2009-06-24T10:43:00.005-04:00

When I get bored I create lists.

When Hoop gets bored he creates comic strips about a schizophrenic hippy locked in a mental institution who takes medical marijuana for his glaucoma and has delusions.

(Click to enlarge.)

That four-eyed thing in the second to last frame is apparently what the imaginary friend of the main character REALLY looks like. Whatever that dude is on (or Hoop for that matter), I want half. ;)

P.S. Does anyone else think the hippy looks like a muppet Jesus?

Weekly Words Challenge 90!

2009-06-23T11:45:00.002-04:00

The "words" for this week were C and Wood.

How did you interpret them?

C

Wood
(From the archives)

(Other Random Photos)

Duff

In The Shell

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The "words" for next week are:
6
and
"Look Up"

It's Thursday Somewhere

2009-06-19T08:55:00.004-04:00

The pickins on Etsy have gotten pretty slim lately.

Either people are making less crap, or they're on to me.

Daily Etsy Picks:
Ants On My Sugar Pot
Cool iPod/iPhone/iTouch Cases
Teddy Bear 911 (I wonder if they do dog toys too.)
Male/Female WC Decor Bathroom Sign

WTF Etsy?:
Shark Hat
Chocolate Covered Bacon (Anyone want to be the guinea pig?)
Green Butt House (Really?)
Trailer Trash Stick Figure Decals
Eyeball Christmas Ornament (Santa's watching you!)

Have an awesome weekend Homebloys!

Weekly Words Challenge 89!

2009-06-16T10:31:00.003-04:00

The "words" for this week were A and "Favorite Song".

How did you interpret them?

A

Favorite Song: IRIS by Goo Goo Dolls

(Other Random Photos)

Fun With Cutouts

Ugly Fountain Head

Dog Bar

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The "words" for next week are:
C
and
Wood

Thursday: I Heart Etsy!

Fun With Beer

2009-06-13T23:59:00.004-04:00

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While playing "Guess That Muff" and drinking)
Hoop: I'm surprised women don't use their full pallet down there.
Tink: What do you mean?
Hoop: I mean, why aren't there more lightening bolts and hearts-
Bob: -and astrological signs?
Tink: That would get kind of tricky if you were shaving yourself.
Hoop: We should open a muff cutting business!
Bob: Yeah, that sounds like real stinky work. I'll just be clean-up.
Tink: How about- NO.
Hoop: We can be "Muff Cutters 'R Us"!

I Heart The 80's

2009-06-12T16:53:00.002-04:00

Hoop and I signed up for Netflix recently for the sole reason of renting 80's movies. Blockbuster has pushed most of theirs out of circulation. When Hoop started compiling a list of "must see" 80's flicks (The Last Dragon, D.A.R.Y.L., Greedy), I was ashamed to admit that I hadn't seen most of them. The ones I had seen were so dusty in my memory, I'd long ago mixed them together with other movies. We watched Cocoon last night and I kept confusing it with Body Snatchers. At one point I turned to Hoop and asked, "So is this the part where they shove the old people into the cocoons?"

What 80's movies are on your "must see" list?

Daily Etsy Picks:
Salt and Pepa Shakers (Ah-hahaha! Effing brilliant.)
Pacman Fused Glass Mirror
Vintage 1989 Super Mario Doll
5 Vintage Smurf Glasses

WTF Etsy?:
Coolits Roll-On Sunglasses (Not cool then... or now.)
Walkers' BBQ Chips Bag Magnet (WHY?)
Ninja Turtles Figures (Are they zombies? Don't stare into their dead eyes!)
Mr. T Egg Cosy

Have a rad weekend Homebloys!

Okay, I Lied

2009-06-11T21:29:00.003-04:00

"I Heart Etsy" post tomorrow. Got lost in used book store today for four hours! So sleepy. Can't even form complete sentences. Night night.

Love,
Tink

Weekly Words Challenge 88!

2009-06-09T09:39:00.004-04:00

The "words" for this week were Lean and 3.

How did you interpret them?

3rd Gear

3s

Leaning Mailbox

This is the normal position of a mailbox in our neighborhood.

More Lean Than Others

I collect Goddess figures. Some are a bit more lean than others.

(Other Random Photos)

Night Out

Lacy

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The "words" for next week are:
A
and
Favorite Song (Picture representations of it.)

Thursday: I Heart Etsy!

Not Even Close To Samoan

2009-06-07T21:40:00.003-04:00

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: You look so good, baby!
Hoop: Do I look like The Rock?
Tink: Noooo.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: Really, you're surprised?
Hoop: *Pouts*
Tink: Because you couldn't have picked someone you look less like.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Papa Bear: Have you ever watched the show "Deadliest Warriors"?
Hoop: Yeah. It was Okay. The episode we saw was the I.R.A. against the Taliban and it took place in a junkyard.
Papa Bear: Well the one about the Apaches vs. the Gladiators was pretty good.
Hoop: What's a Gladiator?
Papa Bear: *Blink*
Hoop: We're talking about helicopters, right?

Etsyholic

2009-06-04T10:42:00.011-04:00

Hoop started his new job on Tuesday. He likes it so far. But he won't really know what it is he does until he's out of orientation on Friday. There's a girl in his class who insists everyone call her "Muffin". Really. The big perk about this job is that it's only five minutes away from home. So Hoop comes home for lunch and I pause my chick flick long enough to make us sandwiches. Don't look at me like that. I watch while I'm folding laundry. I'm a little sad that I'm almost out of clothes to wash.

Hoop and I saw "Drag Me To Hell" last night. I jumped out of my seat so many times I think I can count it as butt aerobics. If you like gorror movies, this one is pretty good. It's a bit predictable and some of the scenes are downright corny. But it was spooky enough to give me nightmares last night. All I can remember is that it was the Apocalypse and I got nominated to grow food for the fallout. But all I could grow were RADISHES. So they threw me in jail... Rough.

Daily Etsy Picks:
Peanut Butter and Jelly BF Necklaces
Nebulae Bowl
Tug-of-war Game Sarubobo (I don't know why.)
Vintage Owl Saki Set

WTF Etsy?:
Leprechaun Larvae
Novelty Cookie Jar Breasts (It's not even food safe!)
Not George Bush Framed Embroidery (Thanks for clearing it up.)
Werewolf Throw Pillow

Weekly Words Challenge 87!

2009-06-02T15:14:00.004-04:00

The words for this week were Yellow and "In My Purse/Wallet".

How did you interpret them?

Yellow Wall

In My Purse
I was having lighting issues and these came out really lame.

My Aspirin jar almost didn't make it through customs. Oops.

I bought this ugly wallet back when I was a teenager because it was cheap and I was sick of throwing my ID in my pocket. I promised myself I'd get something nicer when it fell apart. It's still here...

(Other Random Photos)

Broken Gumball Machine

Dragonfly

Tool Box

Frankenstein Bench

Jeff's Grandfather built this bench out of necessity, an odd collection of drawers, hooks, loops and shelves. It was kind of sad that we had to disassemble it.

Lizard On Bolt

TNT Poo

Well, Oh-kay.

"I Like Your Bike"

La Caleta (The Creek)

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The "words" for next week are:
Lean (Multiple Meanings!)
and
3

Don't forget to check the comment section of the post below to see who else participated this week! I'll be by shortly to check them out.

Thursday: I Heart Etsy!

I.O.U.

2009-06-02T10:29:00.002-04:00

The words for this week were Yellow and "In My Purse/Wallet".

I have tons of pictures, but no time to post them right now. I promised my little brother I'd help him haul scrap metal down to the junk yard. But don't let my delay stop you from posting. I'll be back in a few hours to update and check out your entries.

The "words" for next week are:
Lean (Multiple Meanings!)
and
3

Happy Snapping!

Friday Funnies

2009-05-29T22:19:00.005-04:00

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Would you still love me if I couldn't control my farts?
Tink: Of course.
Hoop: Would you go out in public with me?
Tink: Um... I guess so.
Hoop: Would you change my diaper?
Tink: What?!
Hoop: Well, you know, if I can't control my farts there are probably other things that I can't control either.
Tink: Are your arms broken in this scenario too?
Hoop: ...
Tink: ...
Hoop: They fell off.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Don't you wish they had shrinking machines?
Tink: That might be kind of useful.
Hoop: Then women could shrink all their large keepsakes into smaller ones.
Tink: Like what?
Hoop: Like, um... Wedding dresses. Wouldn't it be great if you could fit yours into a nice little shadow box?
Tink: It would.
Hoop: So, is there any other way you can shrink something like that?
Tink: What, my wedding dress?
Hoop: Yeah.
Tink: NO.
Hoop: You can't, like, wash it a bunch of times?

Have a wonderful weekend Homebloys!

At Midnight I Turn Into A Pumpkin

2009-05-27T21:46:00.012-04:00

(A totally pointless title.)

I've been reading J.D. Robb books for the last week. They make me want to kick some bad guy butt. It's a good thing I've been going to the gym; because I'm WEAK. I was doing mountain climbing on the treadmill this afternoon (I'm not quite to Kilimanjaro) and I literally had to talk my legs into finishing. I was like, "Do you want that ice cream float later? Well, do you?!" Apparently, they did. And it was good.

Enough randomosity. Here's Etsy!

Daily Etsy Picks:
Secret Decoder Card With Secret Message
Young Mad Scientist Alphabet Blocks
One ~~Carat~~ Carrot Ring

WTF Etsy?:
"Got Any Weed?" Card (Because that's not sketchy or anything.)
Fetus Puppet
Fuzzy Brown Cattbutt Magnet
Johnny Carcinogen (Dude, I think you should listen to your wife.)
Dollhouse Miniature of Used Chamber Pot

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"Let me get my glasses so I can see in High-Def."

Weekly Words Challenge 86!

2009-05-26T09:26:00.004-04:00

The words for this week were T and "Not What They Seem".

How did you interpret them?

Table Umbrella

T

Tinkerbell Bell

Not What They Seem

Not really an obscene statue.

I found this up on the wall of a local B&B. Although odd (almost Dr. Seuss-ish), I thought it was probably supposed to be a serene forest scene. Maybe those deer are discussing the weather? Although that blue one looks a little evil. Then I got to the next tile...

Oh. Well I'm sure that's what guests want to think of when they're staying there, an evil blue deer getting caned by a hunter.

(Other Random Photos)

Carnival Ride

Pig Racing

Old Bricks

Burned Hair

Hoop got a little too close to the grill.

Darwin Fish

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Yellow
and
In My Purse/Wallet

In Other News:
Hoop starts his new job on Tuesday! I'm hoping that means I'll get back on a more routine blogging schedule. The last three months have been off, I know. I won't say I haven't enjoyed them though. The forced vacation was good for me (and Hoop). We got to be honeymooners. But it's time for life to move on. I just hope I can find a decent job soon.

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy!

Toasty

2009-05-20T23:32:00.009-04:00

I'm drunk blogging. Why? Because I totally forgot about this Etsy post until now. So forgive me if these Etsy picks suck. It was $1 drafts tonight and after three days of continuous rain, I was getting severe cabin fever. I tried to drunk dial Allison (Alien), but she didn't answer her phone. The boys, Hoop and Bob, are playing Resistance. I just can't get into that game. It's too scary. Instead of shooting aliens, I end up running away like a sissy. So the boys don't want to play with me anymore. Anyway, here are my stupid picks...

Daily Etsy Picks:
Word Key Pendant
Men's Shave Set (For The Guys)
Mod Dots Zipper Tote (For The Girls)

WTF Etsy?:
Leandro the Owl Finger Puppet (In what world is that an owl?)
Zombie Feet Shoes
Original Art of "Toilet Filled With Steamy Poo"
Dollar Bill Art (This dollar bill could be yours for only $3 plus $2 shipping!)
A Piece Of Yourself (This is so weird!)

Weekly Words Challenge 85!

2009-05-19T11:26:00.000-04:00

The words for this week were K and Metal.

How did you interpret them?

K for Keys

Old School K

Can you guess what old school package this K is on?

Metal
These were both in someone's yard.

(Other Random Photos)

Nuclear Cows

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
T
and
Not What They Seem

In Other News:
Hoop has turned into a computer zombie. He spent nine hours on our computer yesterday. The only time I spend nine hours on a computer is if 1. I am getting paid to or 2. the fate of the world requires it. Either way, I'm not going to be happy about it. When I finally got him off of it, sometime around midnight, he annoyed the bejebus out of me by staging a slow-motion fight with the dog in the office. When I asked him to stop he told me, "The dog started it!" It's been raining for three days straight. I think we might be getting cabin fever. Please send sun.

More tomorrow....

Also Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy!

There's Always Room For Etsy!

2009-05-15T10:11:00.005-04:00

I'm all over the place right now.

Like Jell-O without the mold.

Which explains how I completely forgot to post Etsy links yesterday. Because frankly, I have no freakin' idea what day it is anymore. I can't say I haven't enjoyed my stay in Unemploymentville (that should have been my Wild World city name!). But I'm ready to get back to work now. Now if I could just find a job that didn't involve working for *peanuts or touching dead people...

*I said this to a friend and she thought I said "penis". I told her, "That too."

Daily Etsy Picks:
Star Trek Vinyl Decal (How can you not laugh?)
Cupcake Stand
Journey Journal
"Explore" Shirt

WTF Etsy?:
Lucy's Potty Pants (When you secretly hate your baby.)
Cherokee Booger Mask
Merkin Hair Panties
Bridal Surgical Mask

Etsy of Note:
Baby Viking Hat (Jay, if you had kids...)

Daily Hoop Conversations:
Tink: Dane Cook is kind of cute. It's a shame he's such a jerk.
Hoop: Well that's an improvement. You used to just hate him.
Tink: Yeah. He grew on me a little.
Hoop: So if I were laying here passed out and he offered you sex, would you do him?
Tink: What? No! Why are you passed out?
Hoop: I don't know.
Tink: Did Dane Cook knock you out?
Hoop: Pfft. Please.
Tink: Did someone poison you?!
Hoop: You're missing the point.

Weekly Words Challenge 84 Continued!

2009-05-13T11:00:00.006-04:00

Continued from yesterday, the words for this week were Arch and Purple.

Arch

Purple Water

Taken as we were passing under the Jacksonville Bridge.

(More Cruise Pictures!)

Three Generations

Atlantis

Bahama Bugs

Ropes On Boat

View of Nassau

Towel Animals

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy!

Weekly Words Challenge 84!

2009-05-12T11:22:00.003-04:00

The words for this week were Arch and Purple.

I'll have my pictures up no later than tomorrow morning. I'm still travel lagged and Hoop is forcing me to have a Star Trek marathon. The movie was AWESOME by the way. But don't let that stop you from posting your pictures or checking out the other contestants. I'll be by soon myself. Happy Snapping!

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier.

The words for next week are:
K
and
Metal

Tomorrow: Pictures
Thursday: I Heart Etsy!

Fat, Happy and Tan

2009-05-11T22:11:00.001-04:00

You can quit making beer can towers on my counter. I'm home!

The cruise was awesome.

I got a ~~burn~~ tan, made a friend, laughed my ass off and took lots and lots of pictures. When we left for the ship on Thursday morning I was a little worried. Usually, I can only handle my Grandmother in small doses and chased with something strong and vodka flavored. But this trip wasn't bad. Whenever I felt my eyes rolling up into my head, I just looked over at the ocean and imagined throwing her into it. I keed.

We did a lot of overindulging- eating, sunbathing, sleeping, Nintendo DS playing. Mom bought us each "Animal Crossing" for the trip. The gist of the game is that you play a character (a little you) in a world filled with talking animals. Each game is relatively unique, with different maps and names and characters. Mine has a horse named Elmer in it. I'm still trying to figure out if that's a sick reference to glue or not. ;)

The ports were meh. Atlantis in Nassau was worth the $10 cab ride. But Freeport was just a collection of pretty palm trees and crappy souvenirs. We made the rounds so I could take pictures and then we headed back to the ship to swim. I know the destinations weren't the focus of this trip, but I kind of wish Mom's first cruise had been to somewhere a little more interesting. Then again, interesting to me usually means scooter rides with teenie tiny helmets.

All in all it was a fun trip. Now it's back to real life and the job hunt.

*Sigh*

What did I miss in your world?

P.S. Hoop just asked me if "Whale Rider" was fat people porn.

Off Again

2009-05-06T17:58:00.005-04:00

I thought I'd have time to post Etsy links. But...

I'm leaving tomorrow for a Mother-Daughter-Granddaughter cruise to the Bahamas! I sure make this unemployment thing look like no fun, don't I? Don't be too jealous. This was planned and paid for a year ago, back when I had labors to enjoy the fruits of. Unfortunately, I'm running behind on my laundry and packing. So no Etsy links this week. If you're feeling froggy, you could always post some of your favorite Etsy links in the comment section below.

Or you could just raid the beer like everyone else.

Be back soon!

Weekly Words Challenge 83!

2009-05-05T11:02:00.012-04:00

The words for this week were Bokeh and Heart.

How did you interpret them?

Bokeh

(Pulled from the archives)

Heart

Bokeh Heart

(Yard Sale)

Hoop and I spent all of last week cleaning out AG's old shed. Then we threw a gigantic yard sale. We still have most of the antiques. A lot of the tools sold, but we have enough to throw another yard sale (or two) in the near future.

Backgammon

Batons

Belt Buckle Tree

Antique Razor and Level

The level is from 1895. The razor is from the 1920's.

Avon Aftershave Bottle

Cast Iron

Yom Kippur War Medal

Old Lanterns

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Arch
and
Purple

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy!

Etsydemic

2009-04-29T22:07:00.017-04:00

Daily Etsy Picks:
Robot Love Vinyl Messenger Bag
Unemployed Magnet
Vintage Roulette Set
Wishing Tree Sculpture (Only $20!)

WTF Etsy?:
Bacon Soap (Because nothing gets you clean like grease.)
Mr. T Tampon Case
Real Moose Poop Earrings
Dead Animal Face On A Vase (Oh-kay.)

Weekly Words Challenge 82!

2009-04-28T12:00:00.001-04:00

The words for this week were R and Angry.

How did you interpret them?

R for Rat Terrier

R for Refuse

R for Roses

(Angry) Mad Housewife Wine

(Car Show)

(Other Random Photos)

Baby King Snake

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Bokeh (Definition HERE)
and
Heart

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy!

I Don't See Dead People

2009-04-27T19:46:00.009-04:00

I had an interview on Friday at a funeral home.

It dawned on me as I was waiting for my interviewer that they probably don't decorate for the holidays at funeral homes. Definitely not Halloween. Bummer. Somewhere from the back a man emerged, tall and droopy like an old sunflower. He asked me for my papers without meeting my eyes and then we stood side by side for a couple of minutes awkwardly. It gave me time to stare at the three paisley couches in the room. Paisley. Good God, why?

I was rescued soon after by an older Italian man with the same first name as my Father. He entertained me for the next thirty minutes while I waited for the boss. "Are you married?" He asked. "Since November." "Bless you." He explained that the first gentlemen I'd met was the funeral director, Vance. Apparently, no one liked Vance because he was annoying. He was also the person I would be working with. Great. "Does this place creep you out?" "Maybe a little." I replied, staring at the couches.

I can't remember the name of the man who interviewed me. I think I might have been distracted by the urns that filled the room we were sitting in. He explained that the job was not for an administrative assistant position, as had been posted. It was for an office manager and substitute funeral director. On occasion I might have to wheel around bodies. I might even have to touch them. "But we'd never make you embalm them." As if that were an option!

I would be in charge of accounting and sales and funeral arrangements, a real one-woman-show. "Where will the funeral director be?" I asked. "Out selling, mostly. He visits all the retirement communities." For some odd reason, that disturbed me the most. Fortunately, the pay was lower than I was willing to accept. I say fortunately because I might have taken the job otherwise, out of obligation. But it didn't make me feel good. Despite the awesome blog fodder it might have created.

I knew when I left that they were going to offer me the position. "You can't work at a funeral home!" My Mom cried over the phone on my way home. "How will you ever make friends?!" Thanks Ma. "How'd it go?" Hoop asked when I walked in the door. "Did you knock them dead? I bet you killed them." They called this morning. They wanted me to start immediately. "It's not the direction I want to take my career," I told the woman politely.

Because I don't see dead people.

Not even professionally.

I Heart Etsy Returns

2009-04-22T23:06:00.015-04:00

But first-

The naked lady statue in yesterday's post was taken in front of the Library of Congress. Believe it or not, they're not prudes there! Although they did snub us when we tried to push our way into the actual library. Apparently, you have to be a resident of DC... and have a list of research topics... and not announce that you're trying to sneak into the library.

Oh, and I have no idea what kind of cow-like-thing that is. Really, guys? You thought me, the chick from FLORIDA, would have knowledge of livestock? How about we call it the Would-probably-taste-good-on-my-plate variety.

Daily Etsy Picks:
"Sassy Sea Urchin No.2" Print
Ceramic Nest Egg
Custom Recycled Wood Sign (My word would be "spork".)
Dark Purple Jalapeno Pepper (Seeds) Cool!

WTF Etsy?:
Headless Deer Plushie
Wise Fools Inspirational Inspiracy Text Messaging Service (What?)
Antique German Doll Arm (Where the hell is the rest of it?)
Primitive Muslin Bunny (She meant to say it was evil.)

Weekly Words Challenge 81!

2009-04-21T10:36:00.010-04:00

The words for this week were Home and Door. Many thanks to Jay for hosting in my absence last week! Have patience with me today. I have a lot of catching up to do and a four hour meeting with Worksource this afternoon. But I'll be by as soon as possible!

How did you interpret them?

George Washington's Home

Awesome Doorway

(Easter)

(Washington DC: Obligatory Tourist Photos)

(Washington DC: Wish Tree)

"I wish everyone would realize that we're all in this together."

"I wish for an endless supply of mustard."

(Washington DC: Other)

Nap

Ceiling (Library of Congress)

Vietnam Veteran Memorial

Korean War Memorial

Smithsonian Mural

Bender!

Cherry Blossoms

Coat Statue

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
R
and
Angry

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy

Things I Learned On My Spring Break

2009-04-20T12:03:00.006-04:00

1. You know there's something wrong with you when you annoy a five year old.
2. Never ask a senile person to keep a secret. They wont.
3. Hiding a joke Easter egg with the word "Sucker" written in it isn't very funny if the person who finds it is too young to read.
4. Don't go to Washington D.C. with someone who is of the opposite political party than you. Unless you like to argue.
5. Riding in subway cars is fun until someone pukes.
6. Just because a museum is free, doesn't mean the food there won't cost you a small fortune.
7. A $6 cookie does not taste like gold or rainbows or better than a $2 one.
8. It's always great to be home... unless you forgot to take the trash out before you left.

More soon!

So, what did I miss in your world?

My Beer Is Bad

2009-04-09T11:55:00.003-04:00

So don't drink it while I'm gone, OK? I'm serious. It could make you drunk.

Pickled Beef will be closed from Thursday the 9th through Thursday the 16th. We're headed to Tennessee (again) for Easter and then to Washington D.C. directly after. Unlike *Kutner, I have no plans to fake my own suicide. I'm just going there for a vacation. Although I'll be honest, if we tour the White House, I'm going to wear my good underwear. The wonderful and awesomest Jay of Cynical Bastard has agreed to host the WWC in my stead. So go check out his blog next Tuesday. As if you weren't going over there already. Pfft.

*Coming out next fall, "~~Harold and~~ Kumar go to White House."

While I'm away, please refrain from dressing the dogs in drag or prank calling various ex-somethingorothers with our landline. The last time you did that, we got egged twelve times. Ok, that was a lie. It was once, with one egg and they totally missed the house. True story! For a moment, Hoop thought a bird had dropped it. If you don't hear from me again, the Langoliers got us. Feel free to ransack the blog for valuables. Have a great week Homebloys! I'll see you on the flipside.

Better Delayed Than Delayed-er

2009-04-08T23:49:00.011-04:00

Daily Etsy Picks:
Jizo Set (Awesome!)
Sahara 1922 Necklace
Amazing Wine Bottle Holder
Foxy Loxy Locket

WTF Etsy?:
Slime Face T-shirt
Hanging Gilded Vagina Lightcatcher (WOW.)
Mushroom Cap Floppy Hat (In formal black!)

You Heart Etsy:
Little My in Red Violet (Thank you Niki for finding this!)

Weekly Words Challenge 79!

2009-04-07T09:00:00.001-04:00

The words for this week were Opening and Spring.

How did you interpret them?

Spring

A baby lemon!

Opening
Although these might seem to be from the archives, I assure you they're new. It's really pathetic that it took me this long to download 2008's Christmas photos.

Grandma was so excited to open her stocking.

This was my gag gift to Big Bit. I'm sure I'll be seeing those again this year.

(Other Random Photos)

Our Office

Hoop's Office IN Our Office

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add *"Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

*Slang for Spork.

The words for next week are:
P
and
Favorite Movie (People/places/things that make you think of it)

Temporary WWC Button

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy

WWC Master Participation List

2009-04-07T01:00:00.009-04:00

Check out who's playing!

Jay

Reb

Tink

If you are not currently on this list but would like to be, please leave a request in the comment section of the most current WWC post.

DISCLAIMER-
The purpose of this post is to compile a list of participating WWC members. This is not a contract. You do not have to sign up in order to take part in the WWC. This list will only serve as an easier means for other people to locate you. Names can be added as necessary (at the request of the participant). Anyone who does not participate in the contest for five consecutive weeks will be removed from the list until they request otherwise.

Happy Snapping!

Sometimes Like Dumpster Diving

2009-04-01T23:09:00.009-04:00

...for those too lazy to move from their computer.

Daily Etsy Picks:
Smokey Guitar Strap
Vintage Bordello Lamp
Kawaii Sticker Pad

WTF Etsy?:
Fred Astor The Dancing Spice Man
Lint Girls (So creepy.)
Bleach Bag (For those who REALLY have too much money.)
Born With A Beard - A Novel
Sooo-Per Cap (Also known as, PLEASE beat up my kid.)

Weekly Words Challenge 78!

2009-03-31T10:47:00.005-04:00

The words for this week were Orange and N.

How did you interpret them?

Orange

N is for Ninja

(Other Random Photos)

Superpowers!

Also known as, "N for Nerd".

My Hoop

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Opening
and
Spring

In Other News: Hoop fixed our computer. Yay! I should probably get all of our pictures off of it before it crashes again. Also, I'm working on a button for the official WWC participation list. It should be finished by next Tuesday. If you haven't added yourself to that list and would like to, please follow the instructions here.
Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy
Sometime This Week: My post about the horrible job interview. My Mom is having me write it in article form for her site, so it's taking me a little longer than normal. No pressure!

Etsy Is My Boyfriend

2009-03-25T19:37:00.008-04:00

Daily Etsy Picks:
Hand Carved Spork Stamp
PIF Copper Fishbone Earrings
"Beards Are Sexy" Tote (For Van, LL and Hoop.)
Silver Kaleidoscope Ring

WTF Etsy?:
Snaggle Tooth Braces Catnip Toy
Kurt Cobain Troll
Wild Porcini Mushroom Monster Doll
Home Smells Great (Really? Why would anyone want this?)

Etsy of Note:
Brain Slug (The pictures for this listing are great!)

P.S. I have a job interview tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

Weekly Words Challenge 77!

2009-03-24T11:45:00.001-04:00

The words for this week were Black and Natural World.

How did you interpret them?

The computer I work my pictures on in currently down, hopefully not for the count. We've been having these weird power surges lately. We thought it was just us until our neighbors complained about it too. All our newer electronics seem unaffected. But my older computer, the one with all our pictures on it (of course), is acting like something out of Poltergeist. So please excuse these golden oldies from Flickr.

Black

Natural World

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Orange
and
N

Below: If you are currently participating in the WWC or would like to, please sign your name and blog address in the comment section of the below post. I'll be by your blogs sometime today to ooo and ahhh over your entries.
Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy

Weekly Words Challenge Participation List

2009-03-24T10:07:00.003-04:00

If you are currently playing in the Weekly Words Challenge or would like to start, please write your name and blog address in the comment section below!

DISCLAIMER-
The purpose of this post is to compile a list of participating WWC members. This is not a contract. You do not have to sign up in order to take part in the WWC. This list will only serve as an easier means for other people to locate you. Names can be added as necessary (at the request of the participant). Anyone who does not participate in the contest for five consecutive weeks will be removed from the list until they request otherwise.

Happy Snapping!

This Message Is Tink Approved

2009-03-18T22:23:00.016-04:00

What do you mean I'm late? It's not midnight yet.

Daily Etsy Picks:
Awesomely Proper Insults (Perfect for that after-break-up last word.)
Zombie Anti-Bite First Aid Kit
Custom Made Barbarian/Viking Beanie (For Jay.)
P.I.F. Copper Rings

WTF Etsy?:
Metal Stilettos
Fantasy Face Pin (I think it's more likely that people stop her daughter because they think she's homeless.)
Popping Pimples Bird Toy
Rubber Fish Skeletons ("Great wedding gifts!")

Weekly Words Challenge 76!

2009-03-17T11:33:00.004-04:00

The words for this week were Diamond and One.

How did you interpret them?

Diamond In Bloom

King of Diamonds

Queen of Diamonds Scandal

One

(Other Random Photos)

Frog on Palm

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Black
and
*Natural World

*One of the categories for the yearly Smithsonian photo contest. So keep your photos for possible submissions. Prizes are usually cash or vacations!

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy
This Week: The WWC Sign-up Sheet

Oh, Hello!

2009-03-16T18:34:00.007-04:00

My days have been a blur of...

Job searches. Coffee. Taxes. Coffee. Filing for unemployment. Coffee. Interruptions from Hoop. Hoop dancing with the dog. Hoop telling me about something on T.V. Hoop asking me a billion-fucking-times what I'm doing. Hoop asking me to pluck his ear hair. Hoop barging in on me while I'm pooping. Me screaming at Hoop not to barge in on me while I'm pooping. No more coffee for Hoop. Me running into the wall while I'm trying to wrestle the coffee creamer out of Hoop's hands. Run Hoop Run.

And that was just TODAY.

Here are those sightseeing pictures I promised on Thursday.

Nashville's Parthenon

The original full-scale replica was built in 1897 out of plaster for the Tennessee Centennial Exposition. It was so popular, the city decided to leave it up until it became too dilapidated to enter. In 1920 it was rebuilt out of concrete and stands today as a museum. Unfortunately, it was closed the day we visited.

Nathan Bedford Forrest Statue

This monstrosity may look like it's on government property, as it faces a main highway, but I've been assured that it's not. As a monument to the founding father of the KKK, you can understand why this statue gets shot at and vandalized a lot.

Beautiful Park Tree

To Etsy With Love

2009-03-12T14:30:00.008-04:00

Daily Etsy Pick:
"Wanderlust" Print
Fork Tines Necklace
Roots Woodburned Box
Book Bookshelves

WTF Etsy?:
Snapely Snapper Fish Sculpture
Men's Briefs with Jawbone Screenprint (Oh-kay.)
Fanged Chicken (With attachable tongue.)
Jock Alien Monster
Jesus and the Turtle

Etsy of Note:
Little Pocket Book (Written by a 13 year old who warns, "Not meant for children." AWESOME.)

Weekly Words Challenge 75!

2009-03-11T15:20:00.008-04:00

The words for this week were 9 and Desire.

I'll be by your blogs soon to see how you interpreted them.

9

Desire

Hoop and I couldn't get over how many houses in Tennessee are made of brick, practically all of them! Only the very wealthy can build with brick in Florida. It's something we desire to have one day.

My Heart's Desire

Yeah, we were pretty road lagged at this point.

(Other Random Photos)

Practice

Tennessee Flowering Tree

The Six-Fingered Man

The people at the Mexican restaurant were shocked when I pointed it out. And what's up with that handbag?

Did You Say Unbeatable?

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Diamond (Shape or stone)
and
1

Don't forget to check yesterday's comments to see who participated!

Tomorrow: I Heart Etsy
Friday: More Tennessee sightseeing photos.
Next Week: I like Gramp's idea of making a master list of who's playing in the WWC. Check next week for a sign-up post. Don't worry if you miss it. We'll add to it as often as needed.

A Message From Tink's Blog-Bot

2009-03-10T11:30:00.001-04:00

(I'll call him Sparky.)

The WWC words for the week of March 10th - March 17th are...

Diamond
and
1

Feel free to leave a comment when you've posted your pictures for this week. I'll be back tomorrow to check out the submissions and post my own. Until then, happy snapping!

Off The Grid

2009-03-06T10:30:00.000-05:00

Your comments from Wednesday's post were priceless, guys! As much as I love writing, my favorite part of blogging has always been hearing what you have to say. Hoop and I discuss your lives over dinner and drives and most definitely NOT during sex. That would just be creepy. But every time else! I'll pop my head out from the computer room and shout, "Do you know what Cynical Jay just said?" or "Oh no! Knight lost her job too." And he'll know, he'll know exactly who I'm talking about. I'll lean over breakfast and casually tell him, "So Mamatulip was talking about porn and..." He doesn't even bat an eye.

"Mike, the guy with the awesome bike," or "Allison, my friend who's the whiz at Photoshop," are all permanent titles. Hoop knows you. I don't need to give some characterizing detail. But I do anyway. They're household names. Your blogs are like houses on our street. I thank you for that, for always being there when I need you, no matter how crazy your own lives are. Hoop and I are leaving for Tennessee until Wednesday. I hate leaving the blogosphere, even for five days. But I know this thing doesn't run for me alone. So take care of each other. Tuesday's WWC post will be automated. But don't let that keep you from submitting!

I'll be back soon.

Off The Record

2009-03-04T22:04:00.003-05:00

I'm OK.

I've had a headache nestled in one eye since Monday...

...and Hoop keeps asking me if I want some wine, all cautious-like.

That can't be a good sign.

I'm sick of dealing with my own stuff right now. It's consuming, exhausting. So, as I'm sure you can guess, I don't really want to blog about it this week. I'd much rather catch up with you all. I miss you.

So tell me, what have YOU been up to lately?

Weekly Words Challenge 74!

2009-03-03T09:22:00.015-05:00

The words for this week were White and Mailbox/slot.

How did you interpret them?

White Fish Saltshaker

White Grapefruit Blossoms

White Picket Fence

Peeling Mailbox

Busted Mailbox

(Scottish Highland Games '09)

Big Bit's First Job

A Little Competitor

Women's Ax Throwing Winners

That's me on the end. I got third place! My Grandmother got second and my Mom got first. We like to keep it in the family. ;)

(Other Random Photos)

My New Do

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
9
and
Desire

Daily Etsy Pick:
Bottle Opener Belt Buckle
Spork Bangle
"Ktog"- Knitting on Canvas (This is so cool!)

WTF Etsy?:
One Unflattering Portrait
Cthithuly (I wouldn't pay $1 for this, let alone $100)
Evil Egg Purse

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I just found a spork bangle!
Hoop: What is that, a tiger?

I Got Laid Off Yesterday.

2009-02-28T08:31:00.004-05:00

No one else. Just me.

After if happened I got a slew of phone calls, some from friends and family, some from coworkers. The coworkers all thought it should have been someone else, someone worse, not me. That's easy to say when the execution is over and your neck is safe. I'm having a minor identity crisis. Who am I if not this girl? She didn't like it there, but it was home for five years. The cops came after they let me go. The graphics girl freaked out. "Have they come to escort you out?" I threw up my hands in mock surrender. "Jesus. I'll go peacefully!" But they were there for something else. Life moves on.

I woke up this morning laughing at some practical joke I dreamt I did at work. No practical joke. No work. It took a moment to set in. Hoop says it was divine intervention. Things that rhyme with divine: decline, malign, landmine. Before he lost his job some three months back, Hoop claims he'd cry out to God during traffic jams. Then he got laid off. No more traffic jams. I hate driving. So, it was sort of a cosmic joke when I got stuck with a ten-hour-a-week commute for two years. Last week I found myself crying out to God during a traffic jam. BAM! No more traffic jams. Funny how that works.

I'm not sure where I'm going to go from here. Well, other than to the Scottish games this afternoon. When life throws you lemons, you go watch men in kilts. Rest assured, I'll still be posting. We'll still have the Weekly Words Challenges. It's this thing outside of the blogosphere, real life, that's going to get a bit odd for awhile. I'd ask you to pray (or wish or hope or whatever you do) for me. But there are far more worthy causes to spend that energy on. I'll be fine. And that girl inside, the one who doesn't know who she is anymore? She'll find a new identity soon. I promise you she will.

Much Love...

Be Careful What You Keep

2009-02-25T14:09:00.007-05:00

Dedicated to Mamatulip, who cracked me up with her post on porn this morning.

My paternal Grandfather was a porn dealer, among other things. I didn't find this out until the spring of 1996 when he died, suddenly, of progressive lung cancer. I was thirteen, half the age I am now. We weren't very close. My Dad, were he here to argue the fact, might disagree. What little interaction I had with the old man was spread out among cousins. We would gather on holidays, a large Italian mass, to eat fist-sized meatballs and watch Grandpa shoot down the family photos with a Nerf gun.

He had a bar called The Trap. Memory, which cannot be trusted, has blended it with an image of Cheers. Some say it was a front for illegal gambling. My Dad would take me there on Saturday mornings when I was little. I would sit on the bar and serve unwanted Shirley Temples to vagabond customers. But what I really wanted was an excuse to eat maraschino cherries. Dad and Grandpa would migrate to the back at some point, leaving me to dig through a bag of Crane Game stuffed animals. They'd argue and we'd leave... until the next time. I collected so many stuffed animals that way.

After Grandpa died, the family divided his things. I ended up with a gold plated Coke bottle and his Italian horn pendant. The pendant was special, a symbol of hierarchy. I'm not sure about the Coke bottle. Some elderly family member claimed I'd told her that I collected Coke memorabilia. I didn't, collect that is. People shouldn't be held accountable for what they say while waiting for a family member to die. My Uncles got my Grandfather's cars, two mafia-style vehicles with suicide doors.

I'll never forget how the family pawed over those insignificant things. It was like they'd won some lottery with mortality or something. My Dad stood by, quietly and undeserving. He just wanted to stay awhile in that house, to smell his Father's things and to care for the dog. Or maybe I'm being too kind. It wasn't long after the garage was opened and my Uncles had claimed their respective cars that someone suggested opening the trunks. Being old mafia cars, these compartments were rather large, and each was stuffed to capacity with black trash bags.

Being young, I was quick to distraction and didn't witness the opening of the bags. But I heard the "Eep!" one of my aunts let out when it was done. What followed was stunned silence... and then laughter. They laughed until they cried, hugging at their ribs and gasping for air. My cousins and I stared in wonder. We had denied ourselves all morning anything that might be misconstrued as happiness and here were our parents, laughing (!) so soon after death. They ushered us into the house without explanation, eager to get back to the bags.

I waited until that night to ask, once my Dad was sufficiently liquored up. I'll never forget the way his eyes crinkled at the corners as he relived the memory in his head. "What was in the bags, Dad?" "Porn," he said sloppily. "Porn?!" To be honest, I'd expected him to say bodies. "Yup. Porn and dildos." And that was it. I didn't have the guts to ask him to explain. So for several years I lived with that information in my head, with absolutely no explanation. I'd be lying if I said it didn't fuck with me a little.

Later on, about seven years later to be exact, I asked for the full story. Before I was born, my Grandfather owned a lucrative porn store. Its main draw was that you could seat yourself in a private booth onsite and watch X-Rated movies, provided you had the coins to keep feeding the meter. Every minute, the movie would shut off. Which was fine if you were done. But if you weren't, you had to pay another $.50. Once out of the booth, customers could peruse the store for take-home materials.

When the business eventually folded, my Grandfather decided to keep the unsold merchandise in his cars. Who knows why. Maybe he sold it out of the trunk on occasion. Or maybe he passed it out at parties like a dirty old Santa Claus. Either way, it made me realize that there are certain things I DON'T want people to find after I'm gone. Like my diaries... or my old pipe... or that pair of ratty underwear with twelve holes in it. Ew. So tell me, what things have been unearthed posthumously in your family? What would you rather NOT be found after you're gone?

Weekly Words Challenge 73!

2009-02-24T10:42:00.007-05:00

The "words" for this week were 2 and Expressive Face.

How did you interpret them?

2

...in chalk.

...in a set.

Just The Two Of Us

Expressive Faces

Bleh...

(Left to right and down) Happy face... or is that sarcastic? Angry face... or maybe a crazy pirate? Sexy face... or feeling sneaky? Scared face... or just poked in the butt?

(Bentos!)

Bento for Hoop 02-23

Bento for Hoop 02-24

(Other Random Photos)

Keystone Library Tree

Original Drive-Thru Diagram (at Work)

Modified Drive-Thru Diagram (with Godzilla)

Who would do such a thing? *Walks away whistling*

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
White
and
Mailbox/slot

Daily Etsy Pick:
"Home Is Where..." Print
"What the Funk?" Mixed Tape Pouch
Board Mounted Giclee of Snake

WTF Etsy?:
"Squitches Master" print
Octopus Heart T-Shirt
Horse Butt Pillow

I Am Jack's Complete Lack Of Surprise

2009-02-23T15:46:00.005-05:00

Do you know why I have nothing to say today?

Because when I wasn't tipsy on donated wine and Hurricanes this weekend, I was recovering from being tipsy on donated wine and Hurricanes. That's a good excuse isn't it?

So, what did you fahhhhbulous people do this weekend?

Stupidity Is Infinite

2009-02-19T14:44:00.012-05:00

I was driving down the road yesterday when I came across a kid on the sidewalk who was waving at me in a very peculiar way. He was pumping his fist in the air, up and down, up and down while smiling broadly. I slowed down just a tick to wave back. "How sad!" I thought. "That poor little slow boy's parents have left him to walk to school alone." Then the tow truck beside me honked his horn, an answer to the obvious "honk-your-horn" gesture the kid was making at it.

Whatever doubts I had about not being smarter than a 5th grader have just been confirmed.
************

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While watching T.V.)
Hoop: Did you see that?
Tink: See what?
Hoop: A washer and dryer combo that can complete a load in 30 minutes.
Tink: Neat!
Hoop: Do you know how quickly we could do our laundry with one of those?
Tink: In 30 minutes.
Hoop: ...
Tink: Was that a trick question?
************

Is it just me, or does this man who washed up on Christmas Eve look like Santa Claus?

Weekly Words Challenge 72!

2009-02-17T09:47:00.009-05:00

The "words" for this week were Z and Abandoned.

I was really pathetic this week. No, really. The only picture I took for the challenge was...

Z for Zelda

It's not even interesting. Next weeks words should be a lot more inspiring.

(Bentos!)

Bento for Hoop (Valentines)

Bento for Tink (Valentines)

One morning, when I was running even later than usual, Hoop offered to make my lunch. He called at noon to ask if I had seen his note. "Your note?" I asked, looking for some paper or napkin tucked into my box. "In the fruit!" So I looked at my fruit and saw...

"House, circle, I? Is this a cleaning reference?" "Turn it around." "Oh!"

Awwww.

(Other Random Photos)

Chef Hoop

Oddly, this was one of his Christmas presents.

Wasp in Lemon Tree

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
2
and
Expressive Face

Daily Etsy Pick:
Koi Fish in Scarlet and Electric Orange
Sasquatch In My Pocket
Owl Recipe Cards

WTF Etsy?:
Bacon Devils
Turd Burglar Magnet
Golden Girls Necklace
Boobie Pin (Mature)

You Heart Etsy:
Star Trek Corset (Chris, who tipped me off on this gem, and I agree that they should put a disclaimer stating, "wearing corset will not guarantee awesome rack like one shown". Because there might be, you know, some confusion.)

You Heart ~~Etsy~~:
Sushi Pillows (Amusing was awesome enough to tip me off on these should-be-Etsy items.)

Sun Starved

2009-02-16T14:04:00.009-05:00

(Just a bit of fluff.)

I sit in glass doorways at lunch, limbs outstretched to the limit of their skin. My Florida soul feeds on sunlight. But I live in the dark, rising before the sun and barely chasing it home, always with the car between us. My office window overlooks the shadow of a roof. The sunlight teases, reflecting off of cars and trees, but never me. I catch it at lunch, warming a concrete stoop. Book and bag in hand, I throw myself at it. It welcomes me by sucking the moisture from my skin, a heat that tingles before it burns.

Before I can enjoy it long, that marvelous Florida sun, a raindrop falls and hits my open book. I stare at it for a second, that big wet punctuation mark. But there's no use trying to pretend it doesn't exist. Up North, where suns are meek and clouds aren't raging beasts, you might be able to bide your time. Not here. Where one drop falls, three thousand more are sure to come. So I retreat from the sun, not a moment too soon, to that doorway in filtered air and light. And my needful soul consoles itself in the fingers and toes of my outstretched limbs.

Married White Female

2009-02-13T14:31:00.004-05:00

We were watching Lost last night, the part in Wednesday's episode where someone dies. I was frowning at the screen, totally into the moment, when Hoop turned to me and said...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: If I had just died, and we'd never had sex before, would you feel my package?
Tink: What?
Hoop: You know, to see what you were missing?
Tink: NO.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: ...
Hoop: ...
Tink: ...Would you?!

************
I think I'm going to place a want ad in the local alternative paper... for some girlfriends. Yeah, there's just no way to say that without sounding like a loser. For the last five years I've worked at a beer distributor, surrounded by men. What few women I have as coworkers are either older or have incompatible lifestyles. I'm not in school. My extracurricular activities consist of drinking with the boys and attending a monthly ~~wine~~ book club, which I thoroughly enjoy, but that caters to women twice my age.

I've unintentionally cut off all avenues for finding girlfriends in my age bracket. But I refuse to believe that I'm alone in this. I live in a military city, after all! Surely there are women who have followed their soldiers here, only to be left alone while their partners fight overseas. I'm not looking for a BFF. Shit, I'm not even looking for a BF. I just want someone with low drama who wants to meet for a drink or sushi or shopping every once in awhile. Any suggestions how I can write this thing without sounding like a freak or a pervert?

So, anyway, we'll see. Maybe something will come of it...

...or maybe it'll just be really great blog fodder.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

Weekly Words Challenge 71!

2009-02-10T10:27:00.008-05:00

The "words" for this week were G and On This Day.

How did you interpret them?

Laughing God

Grimm's Fairy Tales

Good Girl

On This Day (02/05)

There might have been snow...

(Bentos!)

Bento for Hoop (02/10)

Bento for Tink (02/06)

(Other Random Photos)

That's the money you could have been saving with Geico.

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Z (Ooo, toughie!)
and
Abandoned

Daily Etsy Pick:
"Sunset Dandelion" Print
Men's Vintage Leather Shaving Kit
Custom Robot Metal Wall Art

WTF Etsy?:
Hot Pink "Fabulous" Leggings (My God this girl is awkward.)
Pull Toy Chicken
"Eat Your Popsicles Kids" Drawing
"Spork-tastic" Bag

Somewhere In Between:
"Turn Down The Suck" Ring

Rules To Blog By

2009-02-09T14:42:00.008-05:00

A real life friend, and part-time lurker, has decided to open his own blog- The Beer Geek. Feel free to stop by and haze him. As the ~~bored~~ good Blogger that I am, I have decided to compile a list of Blogging rules to help him and other noobs out. Feel free to join in on that too.

1. Never start a post with an apology for the stupid post ahead...
2. ...or the words "I have nothing to say" followed by details.
3. Great opening lines include the words booger, dinosaur, Chuck Norris, waffle and pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism.
4. Blogging requires no educational background (obviously)...
5. ...but it helps if you can at least site your sources.
6. Unless you have multiple personalities, you should limit yourself to no more than two blogs.
7. Having five blogs: one for what you ate, what movies you saw, what pictures you took, what you did on Monday and what strange materials you pulled out of your cat's hairballs is too much.
8. TALKING IN ALL CAPS SHOULD BE RESERVED FOR SHOUTING...
9. ...AND DOUCHEBAGS.
10. Nothing is private on the Internet. Nothing.
11. If you don't believe me, go ahead and post your social security number.
12. Don't write about anything that could get you fired, that you don't want your Mother or Lover to know, or that could possibly pin you to that Big Boy vandalism of '92.
13. I swear I don't know who drew a penis on that statue!
14. For the love of Jebus, please use spell chek.
15. When in doubt, list it out.

Pickled Beef Bison

2009-02-05T13:53:00.008-05:00

There are some people who can whip things up without a recipe, innately knowing which flavors can mix and which can't. Then there are people like Hoop, the man who thought orange extract would make pizza sauce more zesty. It didn't; just in case you were wondering. Hoop isn't a bad cook. Really. He's rather good, when he follows a format. But he's not the best at improv. Ever since he discovering that our government has approved the integration of cloned meat and milk into our food supply, he's been boycotting beef.

I'm not complaining. I'm all for putting better things in our body. But boycotting beef is harder than it sounds for a man who loves burgers, meaty lasagna and tacos. Tuesday night, as we were at the grocery store, Hoop decided to buy a pound of Bison meat as a possible substitute. I came home last night to burgers. They looked beautiful. They smelled wonderful. Unfortunately, they didn't taste as good as they looked or smelled. "What do you think?" Hoop mumbled around his mouthful. "Um... Honestly? It's not very good."

Hoop stared at his burger suspiciously. "It does taste a little off. Do you think the meat is bad?" "No. It just doesn't taste very good." We chewed in silence for awhile, not willing to admit defeat or waste the food. I tried in vain to pinpoint the flavor. Nothing came to mind. "I was really hoping this would taste better," Hoop sighed while finishing the last bite. I frowned and nodded my agreement while cleaning up the plates. About five minutes later Hoop turned to me and said, "Do you think it was the vegetable oil?"

************

A few people have marveled at the smallness of the manatees in my Tuesday photos. To put it in perspective, the fish in that lone manatee shot is the size of my arm, my entire arm... including my weird elbow. I knew when I was taking the shots that it would be hard to gage their size without some reference. I thought about throwing something into the water while we were there, like maybe a can, or one of those small children running around the dock. But I didn't think the park rangers would like that very much.

************

I bought my little ninjas (Hiyeee and Ya!) at this etsy shop: Goose Grease. They're very small. I would not recommend them for children or really immature adults. Other cool ninja figures from Etsy can be found here, here, and here. You're welcome.

Weekly Words Challenge 70!

2009-02-03T10:17:00.010-05:00

The "words" for this week were Jump and M.

How did you interpret them?

Don't Jump, Ninja!

Man, ninjas have it so rough.

Manatees at Blue Springs

All those blobs in the water are Manatees, 90+ in total.

(Other Random Photos)

Manatee Reserve

"WTF?" Flea Market Find

("Biggest Loser" Sabotage)
We're having a "Biggest Loser" competition in our office.

In Front of My Door

In the Kitchen

In the Sales Room

(Bento!)

Bento for Hoop 02/02

These are the meat pastries I made on Sunday.

Bento for Tink 02/02

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
G
and
On This Day

Daily Etsy Pick:
MADART Painting
Scrabble Nameplate
"If you don't tell your cat..." T-shirt

WTF Etsy?:
A $30 Photo of a Shoulder
Mr. McSquissy and His Cat Tiddles
"We Are In This Together" Print

Somewhere In Between:
"Fire In The Hole" Grenade Candle

Ah-ha Moment

2009-02-02T15:21:00.004-05:00

There have been far too few instant gratifications in my life lately. Everything for us has become a "wait-and-see" game. When we have money... When we have time... When the economy gets better... We'll enjoy the next house. We'll take a vacation next year. Maybe when we retire in forty years. So instead of enjoying life now, which (face it) is the only guarantee we have, we just keep holding out for some undetermined date in the future. Fuck that.

I've decided to do something gratifying each day, create a reason to get up other than necessity. It doesn't have to be anything that cost money or requires a lot of time. In fact, it'll be better if it doesn't. It can be fun or functional or silly. It can be done alone or with friends and loved ones. The object is to do it, whatever "it" is, and be happy about it.

I practiced this weekend, almost just to see if it could be done. By the end of Sunday, Hoop was marveling at how much fun we'd had. It had been the best weekend we'd had in a LONG time. Friday, we had a "Gift Certificate" day. We only did things that utilized the miscellaneous gift cards and coupons we'd accrued over the holidays. There was one for the movies, and Bed Bath and Beyond, JCPenney and Smoothie King.

Part of the fun was dividing up the cards. "OK, we have $25 on this JCPenney card. That means we both get $12.50 to spend. Now, go!" Hoop bought a green tie and I, a blue robot t-shirt. I'm sure we could have spent the cards in more responsible ways, like on a couple of towels or a cutting board. But there was something magical about doing it this way. I felt like a kid again, with a pocket full of quarters in the dollar store.

Saturday, Hoop and I loaded up the car with snacks and drove an hour to Blue Springs. We spent $5 to get in and $7.50 in gas, and the view of the manatees was PRICELESS. On the way home we stopped at the Daytona Flea Market. That took up the remainder of the day. We left with an arm full of fresh strawberries and green beans and sang to cheesy 80's music all the way home.

Sunday, we played video games in our underwear and watched the Super Bowl. I tried my hand at black bean and sausage pastries. They were a huge hit, once I got the hang of them. By the end I was even decorating them with little dough hearts. With 12 for $6, plus leftover filling, that gives Hoop and I ample lunch material for three days. You can't beat a $1 home cooked meal.

So tell me, what did YOU do this weekend?

Is Mah Birfday!

2009-01-29T15:32:00.003-05:00

Thank you all for the birthday wishes! The number of comments I got on Facebook was a bit staggering. A couple of members of my family-in-law recently "friended" me on there. They don't know I have a blog. I'm sure they're wondering how in the hell I know so many people. They probably think I'm a whore. I'm just kidding! They probably think I'm the Antichrist. For a birthday I wasn't all that excited about, I sure got spoiled.

My parents got me the "Little Big Planet" game and a grown-up watch. It doesn't even have numbers on it... OR cartoon characters! LBP (I'm using abbreviations cause I'm cool, not lazy, okay?) is quite possibly the most addictive video game I've ever played. It involves a sack boy, puzzles, and Monty Python style animation. Hoop likes to watch me play because I wiggle all over the couch with my tongue sticking out and yelling things like, "Get on that pony!"

My Grandparents got me a DS game (are you seeing a trend?) and some fancy lotion. Hoop's Mom and Grandma got me a $50 gift card to Barnes and Noble. My friend Sarge got me a $25 gift card to the online ILoveObento! store. My other friend, and coworker, got me a really pretty metal fairy figurine for my desk. Hoop brought me flowers this afternoon and took me out to lunch. Tomorrow we're playing hooky and driving out to a local spring to see some manatees!

So yeah, 26 has been pretty wonderful so far...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I don't understand why people own pets that only like them.
Hoop: Because they can't find a home for an animal that doesn't like anyone.
Tink: True. At least our dogs are friendly.
Hoop: Duff's friendly, he's just scared of everything.
Tink: ...like hairdryers.
Hoop: ...and trees.
Tink: ...and chairs.
Hoop: ...and Ewoks.
Tink: Yes, let's not forget the Ewoks.

Have a fun and safe weekend Homebloys!

Something Like That

2009-01-28T13:52:00.007-05:00

Work is always trying to suppress my primal urges. It's really a drag. We used to go outside and scream, back before Natalie Portman in "Garden State" made screaming cool. One of us would have a really shitty day and we'd just grab one of our coworkers and go scream outside. It was therapeutic. Apparently, work didn't think so. They thought it was scary. So, we don't scream outside anymore.

We used to have handheld computers that reminded me of old school Gameboys, but bigger, heavier and uglier. The day our company decided to upgrade was monumental. My coworkers and I wanted to celebrate "Office Space" style, with a ball bat. We even tried to grease the wheels by turning it into a fundraiser, $5 for three whacks. But the company refused, and there the handhelds have sat.

I'm trying to find a point for telling you this, some great metaphor about life (blah blah blah). But I don't have one. Sometimes, I just feel like being pointless. Tomorrow I'll be 26. I always thought I'd be a lot smarter at this age. But so far that's the only disappointment. I'm neither rich nor poor, defeated or bored. I have a husband who entertains me at 7am by pretending to be RoboCop.

Life can be good if you let it. Maybe not in a barrels-of-money kind of way. But definitely an extra-marshmallows-in-your-Lucky-Charms kind of way. I turn on the news each morning and I see a lot of people giving up. They forget what they have. You always have something. If it's not a job, it's family. If it's not family, it's your health. If it's not health, it's hope. If you don't have hope, then you're not looking hard enough.

Weekly Words Challenge 69!

2009-01-27T10:04:00.005-05:00

The "words" for this week were Circle and Town Tourist.

How did you interpret them?

Circle

Town Tourist
(From the archives)

(Other Random Photos)

A Tree Eating a Candy Cane?

Ginger, the Miracle Puppy

She's the one that ingested rat poison two years ago Christmas.

(Bento!)

Bento for Hoop 1-22

Clementines, kiwi, cookies and crackers, brown rice and burger with peppers.

Bento for Hoop 1-26

Strawberries, kiwi, brown rice and chicken with lentils and tomatoes.

Bento for Tink 1-26

Bento for Hoop 1-27

Strawberries, tangelo, and homemade pizza.

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
M
and
Jump

Daily Etsy Pick:
Personalized Mug Shot Signature Stamp
Mini Luck Dragon (From "The Neverending Story"!)

WTF Etsy?:
Tree Ghosts
Smoking Toilet
Chunky 'N' Cozy, Cowl
Ronald McDonald as a Pirate?
Knitaliscious Thong

Somewhere In Between:
Monster Cupcake

Bentō

2009-01-23T14:20:00.003-05:00

I don't know exactly how it started. Maybe it was just one of those random things, like a purchase suggestion from Amazon. "We see you like to buy books on Mythology. Maybe you would like to purchase this 'Invisible Pink Unicorn Lapel Pin' too?" My interest quickly escalated from admiring Bento photos on Flickr, to actually aspiring to make some of my own. I don't mean the fancy Bentos either (kyaraben), which are elaborately designed to look like people and scenery. I just wanted to make healthy, pretty lunches. Something other than the same boring soup I was eating every day.

Bento (ben-toh; Japn. ben-taw)
–noun, plural. a meal, usually served in a lacquered or elaborately decorated box that is divided into sections for holding individual portions of food. Also called Obento.

Tink's Holy Grail of Bento/Lunch Box Sites:
Vegan Lunch Box- Jennifer also has a book out. Although neither Hoop nor I are vegetarians, I found the suggestions and recipes on her site (and in her book) very resourceful.
Adventures In Bento Making- Not only does Pikko have beautiful pictures and posts that make even a noob like me feel like I can do something cool with food, she hosts contests every 100 posts for free Bento items!
Anna The Red's Bento Factory- Scary-good kyaraben that almost looks too cool to eat.
Just Bento- Mouth watering recipes and free downloadable spreadsheets for easy lunch planning. Check out the "Bento Basics" section for how-to-start tips.
My Bento Diet- Healthy recipes for American bento meals.
Lunch In A Box- Although not updated very often, this site has proven to be a wealth of information. It has guides on everything from how to clean lunch gear, to what size bento box you should buy.

Where To Buy Bento Supplies:
Ichiban Kan- Super cheap Japanese supplies.
Sugar Charms- This is where I purchased the Bento box featured on Wednesday's post. But be warned, traditional Bento boxes are shockingly small. Remember, the Japanese eat mostly rice, meat and vegetables. Trying to fit traditional American food, like a sandwich, in one of these boxes will NOT work.
JBOX- The authority on Asian goods. Check daily for updates.
I Love Obento!- Pricey, but home to some hard-to-find items.

Don't forget to check any local Asian markets you might have before paying to ship something from one of these sites. I've heard that Ebay has some good shops too. I would also like to mention that expensive import boxes are not required to make Bento. Hoop and I found divided Tupperware at Target for $6! Rubber cupcake holders, found at any kitchen supply store, make good dividers as well. If you think creatively enough, supplies can be found all around you.

Pictures for WWC 68!

2009-01-21T09:06:00.004-05:00

"B"

My First Bento Box!

(Click for larger view)

Bento 01/19/09

Bird

I'm not being overly simple. That's actually his name.

Unusual Perspective

If you can't read the graffiti, it says "Will the last person out of the tunnel please turn off the light."

(Other photos)

Christmas Bulbs

Purple Berries

2009 WWC Words

Weekly Words Challenge 68!

2009-01-20T10:03:00.012-05:00

The "words" for this week were B and Unusual Perspective.

How did you interpret them?

Due to a routine-hair-appointment-turned-three-hour-nightmare last night, my pictures will be posted tomorrow. But don't let that stop YOU. Show us your goodies! No, not those goodies. In other news, a couple of bloggers have mentioned PETA's new (and stupid) idea to start calling fish "sea kittens". The theory is that people will stop eating fish if they associate them with something cute, like a cat. After hearing this, my coworker wisely stated, "Won't that increase fish consumption in China?" Touche.

Next they'll petition for the rights of broccoli and have nothing left to eat.

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
Circle
and
Town Tourist (Be a tourist in your own town!)

Daily Etsy Pick:
Barack Obama Inauguration Canvas Poster
Boo-berry Monster Mini Camera/Ipod/Phone Holder
Tattoo Knuckle Gloves

WTF Etsy?:
Barack Obama Body Lotion
De'cat'pitated Mouse Head Cat Toy
Bad Ass Bride
Set of Four Merbot Prints

3rd Annual Golden Spork Awards!

2009-01-19T08:24:00.011-05:00

Who needs the Golden Globes when there are shiny sporks to be had?

Feel free to do a little victory dance on your way up to the podium. You deserve it! Most of you could have fit into multiple categories. But I stuck with one each just to be fair... and to avoid unnecessary ego inflation. Haven't I already told you how wonderful you are? I don't want to have to use your award on you. Exploding heads are awfully messy business.

"Funniest" Spork Award
(These people make me want to pee my pants.)
Jay
Allison
Karen

"Endearing" Spork Award
(Some of the sweetest and most kind hearted people I've ever met.)
Geenalyn
Mrs. Pao
Mary
J (of Swede Hollow)

"Savory" Spork Award
(Best all around. I can't go a day without checking these blogs.)
Meno
Janet (of Planet of Janet)
Fiwa

"Crafty/Creative" Spork Award
(They have more talent in their pinkie toe than my whole office combined.)
Sunshine
Gary
Knotty Mouse

"Inspiring" Spork Award
(Amazing photographers with an eye for everyday art.)
Yellow Rose
G-Man
Janet (of Fond of Snape)
Niki/Stella

"Articulate" Spork Award
(Some of the most impressive writers in the blogosphere.)
Apathy Lounge
Woman In A Window
Flutter

"Delightfully Snarky" Spork Award
(Wit and sarcasm at it's finest!)
Mignon
Furiousball
Foo
Gramps

"Fascinating" Spork Award
(Bloggers that make me think.)
Fortune Cookies
LL
Peggy

"Blog-God" Spork Award
(The celebrities of the blogosphere.)
Mamatulip
Rude Cactus
Chris (and Chaos and Mayhem)

"Clever" Spork Award
(The people that give me pause.)
Dana
Knot
Daisy
Gordo

"Bold and Beautiful" Spork Award
(These people are more interesting than Spanish soaps.)
Knight
Tawcan
Alex

"Down Home" Spork Award
(These bloggers could make anyone feel at home.)
Melanie
Reb
Cat Herder
Gin

"Social Butterfly" Spork Award
(They could make friends at a funeral.)
Kcinnova
Krissa
Jen (Texaconsindiva)

"Great New Find" Spork Award
(Welcome to my madness!)
Persnickety Ticker
Shania
Rara
Susan
J (of I'm a Troublemaker)
LMPP
Betty O Rocker

"Best Looking Blog" Spork Award
(They're too sexy for this blog.)
Kelly (of Wonderment)
Aunt Jackie
Vanessa

"Favorite Commenter" Spork Award
(To those who diligently comment, even if their blog is dead or nonexistent. With this award I also give them squatting rights. Mi blog es su blog, friends. Just don't touch my beer, ya hear?)
Sarge (Alex)
Emily
Pamer
Bob

Please leave your acceptance speech in the comment section.
Awards can be picked up in the post below.

Award Pickup

2009-01-19T07:00:00.007-05:00

You have a choice between a trophy or a button. Grab what you like! The special edition two and three year awards are only for those bloggers who received a spork award last year and/or the year before. Please be respectful and only take the award you deserve.

2008 Trophy

2008 "2 Year Champ" Trophy

2008 "3 Year Champ" Trophy

2008 Specialty Pirate Button

2006 + 2008 Specialty Pirate Button

2007 + 2008 Specialty Pirate Button

2006 - 2008 Specialty Pirate Button

2008 Button

2006 + 2008 Button

2007 + 2008 Button

2006 - 2008 Button

Larger sizes of these buttons are available on my Flickr page.

Also of note:
Newt is having another walk-a-thon! Check out Paws Of Promise. Anyone who donates to his/her local shelter or the SPCA gets this nifty Spork Award, not to mention the warm fuzzies and the admiration of animal lovers everywhere!

ASPCA Button

Second Chances

2009-01-15T14:12:00.010-05:00

40 people commented on Monday's delurking post! Ok, so most of you were already known stalkers. But there were a couple of surprise guests in there. As a bonus, everyone who participated that day will be getting a super awesome Golden Spork Award next Monday. For those who missed the deadline... Tough luck. Ok, that's not true. Otherwise this post wouldn't be titled "Second Chances", right? Being the charitable person that I am, especially since these suckers aren't REAL, I have decided to give everyone who didn't comment in time a second chance.

I know, I rock.

So, here it is folks. You have until tomorrow, Friday, at 5pm (Eastern Standard Time) to claim your 3rd annual Pickled Beef Golden Spork Award. For those who feel that this negates the specialty of their award from Monday, don't worry, these are 10k gold. Yours are 14. No one will be able to tell the difference, but you'll know. So hurry up and comment already! What are you waiting for?! Please note that Pickled Beef and staff are not liable for any blindness caused by staring too long or too close to said shiny award. Nor are we responsible for the monthly spit-shines. Thank you.

*As it is now after 5, comments have been closed. Have a wonderful weekend! I'll see you at the award ceremony on Monday.

Weekly Worlds Challenge 67!

2009-01-13T09:56:00.009-05:00

The challenge for this week was to post your favorite photos of '08.

According to Flickr, these were my six most interesting pictures...

Chip Break

The Other Woman

(Click for larger view)

Candy Seeds

Snail Shell

(Click for larger view)

Bright

Bad Day

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Thanks to everyone who submitted their ideas for this year's WWC. I have decided to accept ALL of the suggestions. This morning I cut out tabs with 110 various words, letters, numbers and themes written on them. They have been placed in a bag and will be drawn at random each Tuesday. The only rule I have is that we will never do more than one letter or a letter-number combination in a week. If that happens, both tabs will be placed back in the bag and redrawn.

The words for next week are:
"B"
and
Unusual Perspective

Daily Etsy Pick:
Seahorse Camera Strap
Tweet Needle Felted Bluebird
Bento Box with Sushi Soap (I freakin' LOVE Bento Boxes!)

WTF Etsy?:
Golf Guy
Smoke and Mirrors I (So creepy)
"A Jewish Gentleman" Pillow
Dino Hand T

You Heart Etsy:
Super Devil (Submitted by Niki!)

Hey you, Stalker.

2009-01-12T09:27:00.005-05:00

Do you know what today is?

Chris Cactus, the man with the kids so cute I wonder if they're genetically engineered, is sending out the reminder that today is Delurking Day! So comment here (there and everywhere), even if you don't normally. In fact, I'll make it easy on you.

Copy and paste the phrase below:

Hi, my name is (insert name here). I think you're very (adjective). My favorite animal is a (type of animal). My favorite movie is (movie title). When I grow up I want to be a (job title). I have a sick obsession with rubbing (first thing you see) on my (random body part). Please come visit me at (blog address).

Not only could you gain new friends, but you'll also receive a super awesome Golden Spork Award! Yup, it's that time of year again. Cutoff time for comments is 8am (Eastern Standard Time) tomorrow. If you don't comment, you won't get a spork, and everyone knows that shiny utensils ROCK. Awards will be handed out next Monday.

Pass it on!

Honeymoon: Last Day

2009-01-09T14:02:00.004-05:00

Previously on Pickled Beef...
Day 1 & 2 (Key West)
Day 3 (Cozumel)
Day 3 Continued (Cozumel- Maya Ruins)
Day 4 (Belize)
Day 4 Continued (Belize- River Tubing)

I got a massage once while in Orlando on vacation. It was wonderful. I vowed to get one at least twice a month after that. Four years later, I got another. Before Hoop and I left for our honeymoon, my Mom stuffed a hundred dollar bill in my palm and told me to treat myself to something nice. Hoop thought that meant booze. I, on the other hand, had my eye on the day spa of our ship. I'd have been better off buying the alcohol. Nothing on a ship is cheap. Even the food, which is "free".

It's like dining at an all-you-can-eat (and-not-barf) buffet. Unless you pick your selections wisely, you're probably just wasting your money on a really expensive salad and some popcorn shrimp. The day we boarded, I realized I'd forgotten to pack our toothbrushes, toothpaste and shaving cream. We went to the little supply shop on board, where we bought low-grade versions of those items for $4 each. There was a moment in my frugal mind where I contemplated scrubbing my teeth with my finger and salt water instead.

Back to the massage. It wasn't until the last day, our day at sea, that I took a good look at the day spa prices. I had naively assumed that it would be affordable enough that Hoop and I could treat ourselves to it without completely blowing the rest of our funds. Hoop had never had a professional massage before and I, as mentioned before, should have been on my 96th by then. "*An arm and a leg!" Hoop exclaimed when I showed him the flier. "Actually, it would be TWO arms and legs," I mumbled. "An arm and a leg EACH?!" But I was determined.

So what if Hoop was out of work and I made little more than a second manager at McDonalds? We were on our honeymoon! It started off pleasant enough. The masseuses doused us in peppermint oil and turned on the mood music. It was a lot less budget porn than I just made it sound, really. All was going well until fifteen minutes into the treatment, when my masseuse stopped massaging and started playing with my hair instead. The hair on my HEAD. Stay with me people! I remember thinking, "Well this is odd." Followed by, "Does she still have oil on her hands?"

After playing with my hair she moved on to tickling the bottoms of my hands and feet. At one point, I swear she was doodling the alphabet. Not long after, my masseuse shuffled off. It was dark and I was on my stomach. I thought about calling out to Hoop to make sure he was still there, but then I heard the masseuse shuffling back. Apparently, she'd just stepped away to get her cowbell. After ringing it, like some actor signifying the end of a second act, her and the other masseuse left us to dress.

"That was weird," I mumbled to Hoop before the two came back in. They handed us glasses of warm water and then proceeded to try and sell us every massage oil and lotion known to man. I left feeling like I'd been to a timeshare seminar. "That was NOT what a massage is supposed to be like," I told Hoop when we left. "I'm going to schedule us a real one as soon as we get back!" We've been back for almost two months now. Have we gone for massages yet? Nope. That puts me at 99... and counting.

The rest of the day was spent laying out in the sun and fighting old people for claim on the hot tubs. It wasn't hard. We just pushed them over. I'm kidding! We told them there was Bingo three floors down. All in all, our honeymoon was just as awesome as I had hoped it would be. I would recommend taking a cruise to anyone. I can't wait until Hoop and I take another. If anyone knows of someone looking to pay a permanent honeymooner, I'm their gal. I'll even do it if there aren't monkeys. Although, monkeys would be a bonus.

*Not the actual price.

Have a wonderful weekend Homebloys!

"Gullible" Is Not In The Wikipedia

2009-01-08T14:44:00.004-05:00

Seriously, it's not.

I realized today that I'm a very gullible person. Which is shocking, because I always perceived myself as more of the sceptical type. Monday I got a text message from an acquaintance asking if I would like to go out for lunch this week. I said yes and asked which day. She replied, "Not Wednesday. My Mom is taking me out to lunch for my birthday." We agreed on Thursday instead. Thursday (today) rolled around. I got another text from her at 8. "Are we still on for lunch?" "Yup. Where at?"

"Let me check how much money I have," she answered. I thought that was a little odd, considering she had known that we were going to have lunch since Monday and that SHE had been the one to suggest it in the first place. Shouldn't she have set some money aside for it? I waited and waited for a response. Finally, she text back. "I'm broke." It was then that it dawned on me. I'd been duped. This "friend", who I would have otherwise not contacted, had gone out of her way to let me know it was her birthday.

Then, after planning a lunch date for the day after, conveniently ran out of money. With so little notice, she would have guessed that I wouldn't have packed a lunch. Geez. I sound like Vizzini. "But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me." In the end I caved and offered to pay. "Great! It can be my b-day present." She replied without a moment's hesitation. "How about Sonny's?" I'd been thinking more along the lines of Wendy's, but whatever. I figured it was my punishment for being so damn gullible.

So, what traits of yours have been unceremoniously revealed to you?

Weekly Words Challenge '09

2009-01-06T11:33:00.006-05:00

It's a new year and I feel like shaking things up a bit. Here are some ideas for the WWC going forward. Please discuss and/or add ideas in the comment section of this post. What gets decided here will effect the WWC for the entire year.

Using...
1. *Letters of the alphabet in place of a word (A, B, C, etc.)
2. Shapes (triangle, circle, octagon, etc.)
3. Colors, again (that was really fun!)
4. Numbers, again
5. Emotions (happy, sad, angry, etc.)
6. Seasons (Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall)
7. Directions (North, South, East, West)
8. Verbs (throw, sit, run, etc.)
9. Words with two meanings (bear, wind, lie, etc.)
10. Substituting one word for a random photo to symbolize your week. Like participating in the "52 Week" challenge.

*Would go on for 26 weeks, obviously.

(Thank you Stella for all your input on these!)

The ~~words~~ assignment for next Tuesday is to post your favorite pictures from '08. They don't need to be ones that you submitted for the WWC, but they have to be pictures that you (yourself and any multiple personalities) took.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. The pros of which include getting to put "Lowly Foon" on your resume AND learning the words for next week an hour early!

P.S. "I Heart Etsy" will be back next week.

Honeymoon: Day 4 (Continued)

2009-01-05T14:18:00.012-05:00

Previously on Pickled Beef...
Day 1 & 2 (Key West)
Day 3 (Cozumel)
Day 3 Continued (Cozumel- Maya Ruins)
Day 4 (Belize)

The camp looked like a movie set for a drug smuggling operation. The three buildings on the grounds looked like jungle huts. But they were relatively modern on the inside, with running water and tiled floors. It wasn't intentionally campy. Rather, as if the buildings couldn't make up their minds what to be. It reminded me of that early 80's movie, "Victor Victoria" where Julie Andrews plays a woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman. Only, these were huts pretending to be modern buildings pretending to be huts.

The employees of the camp were all business, never smiling as they politely ushered us around. My mind painted them with machine guns and I was startled to find that the image fit just fine. After buying rubber shoes and a tube of bug repellent (Hoop was still scared of Malaria), we stripped down to our bathing suits and waited for the guide. I was instantly self conscious of my tiny bikini. Whether due to our guide's previous warning about piranhas, or because they were equally self conscious, most of the other women opted to stay fully clothed.

After a short trip on the tractor-taxi, we arrived at the beginning of the river and a pile of inner tubes. The water was crystal clear... and freezing, much like the spring fed rivers in central Florida. Hoop and I happily jumped right in. Floating down the river, buffeted by jungle, made all the day's misadventures worth it. My only complaint was that the guide's attendants, who were also on tubes, continuously shoved at the people in the back to make sure the group kept moving. Apparently, Hoop and I are more *cough* dense than some. We were almost always on the tail end.

About halfway down the river, the guide, who was up from us, started pointing at the water and shouting, "There they are! There are the piranhas. Watch your nipples!" Several people took off paddling. I, on the other hand, had unintentionally drifted right into the spot where he'd been pointing. Cautiously, I looked over my float and saw... minnows. I laughed about that for a good twenty minutes. Nipple-biters indeed. Then we hit some miniature rapids. I loved that part, until I scraped my ass on a fallen tree. It was still worth it though.

After floating down the river we stopped to look at some Maya ruins, followed by a meal back at the camp. Our guide tried to convince us that it was iguana we were eating. After the whole piranha incident, no one was inclined to believe him. I'm pretty sure it was chicken. At least, I HOPE it was chicken. After we ate, Hoop and I wandered off to check out the caged jaguar. The poor cat was pacing the enclosure, mouth open and wide eyed. It wasn't like a jaguar at a zoo. You could tell this guy had been caught recently, and he was itching to go back.

Hoop stood so close to the bars, I envisioned the story I would tell our kids one day about how Daddy lost his arm. Fortunately, they called us back to the tractor-taxi. Back on the bus, our guide continued telling us of his culture. In Belize, one of their delicacies is Cashew wine. It's made from the fruit, not the nut. They're soaked out in the sun under a blanket of brown sugar until they ferment. The result is a thick, almost syrupy, orange wine. "Coincidentally", the guide's Mother happened to make the wine and wouldn't you know it, she had made a fresh batch that day!

After a quick stop at the guide's Mother's house (no lie), we were on our way back to the ship with drinks in hand. I wanted to like the wine. I really did. I daydreamed about buying a few bottles for my friends and family back home. My treasure from Central America. Unfortunately, the wine tasted like a mixture of cooking wine and lighter fluid. My eyes watered at the smell of it. Hoop tried not to laugh as I juggled the full cup on my knee the entire way back. He finally took pity on me and snuck it off to the sink in the back. Oh well. Belize was interesting. I'm not sure I would go back though. Not unless they could guarantee monkeys.

Happy New Year Homebloys!

2008-12-31T14:38:00.004-05:00

Some years fizzle out like the end of a sparkler, sudden and without climax. You look at them and think, "That's it?" Years later you might struggle to remember what happened during them. How does one forget 365 days? But it happens. 2008 will not be one of those years for me. It's not even gone yet and already it feels like taboo, the 13th floor to my elevator. Despite the wonderful things that happened this year, and because of the horrible ones, I say good-bye without a bit of remorse and more than just a little relief.

Thanks to everyone who stuck with me for another year. When I started this blog three years ago (December 8th, 2005), I had no idea how many amazing, talented and funny people I would meet. I had no idea that I'd still be blogging three years later either! A lot of you are more than just fellow bloggers now. I've met some of you in person. I've talked to some of you on the phone. We've shared heartbreaks and triumphs. I've watched your lives progress from the sidelines, a cheerleader until the end. For you, my friends, I wish a happy and safe New Year.

See you on the flipside. ;)

Holiday Hangover

2008-12-29T13:22:00.010-05:00

I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night. This means I'm working on little more than a skull filled with Jell-O today. My brain is moving so slow, I just realized that I can have a thought, wait a few seconds, and then catch it on the other side as it processes. Neat. It's like slow motion baseball. But for the brain. And if my catcher was a one-armed blind person wearing cement shoes. I'm pretty sure a few thoughts have gone missing along the way too. I just had one involving lunch... which ended an hour and a half ago.

Christmas was wonderful. Hoop and I were completely spoiled. I got a new digital camera (Canon PowerShot SD880 IS), a GPS system for my car, Rollerblades, and two baby fruit trees (among other things). Hoop got a digital drawing tablet, video games, and the only DVD copy I could find of the 1986 ~~classic~~ movie "Rad". He asked me last night if I wanted to watch it again. But there's only so many Star Trek throwback jumpers I can stomach to see in one week. How was that ever cool?!

The Secret Santa goody bags on Christmas morning were NOT a hit. It was pretty disheartening, actually. Only four people out of the the ten we gave to acted appreciative. Four people took their bags without even a thank-you. One woman thought Hoop was planning on robbing her. One gentleman, a truck driver delivering fuel, turned his nose up at the present I was offering and asked, "What's in it?" real snottily. When I told him it was candy (not to mention a $5 gift card), he stepped back and glared at me. "Do I LOOK like I need candy?!"

Needless to say, I didn't give it to him after that. I'm not sure we're going to do this again next year. That kind of breaks my heart. Part of me wonders if maybe there's a reason those people were working on Christmas Day. Or perhaps people (as a whole, not you) are undeserving of kindness anymore. They're so unused to it, they don't know what to DO with it when they get it. But I don't want to believe that. Hoop's Uncle says that the only way to avoid punishment for kindness is to donate anonymously. So maybe we'll do that instead.

*Sigh*

Boogers.

What did you get/give/do for the Holidays?

Ho-To-The-Third-Power

2008-12-24T09:24:00.007-05:00

(Click For A ~~Larger~~ Gigantic Image)

Weekly Words Challenge 66!

2008-12-23T09:59:00.008-05:00

The words for this week were Naughty and Nice.

How did you interpret them?

Nice Ribbon

Naughty Ribbon

Nice Reindeer

Naughty Reindeer

These two were on a set of eight holiday reindeer plates my Grandparents gave us for Christmas.

Nice Award!

Given to me by a good friend in RL who happens to read this blog.

Naughty Puppy

Hoop was originally going to take a picture of ME in this lingerie for you. But then I asked him if that's what he really wanted, my scantily clad body all over the net. He then suggested we model it on the dog instead. She was more than willing. Hussy.

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

REMINDER: The WWC will be closed for the holidays! Today is the last day for photo submissions until January 6th.

Daily Etsy Pick:
"I'm Sleeping With Stupid" Pillowcases
Braille Secrets (Expensive! But I like the idea)
"Sticks and Stones" Print

WTF Etsy?:
Original Handcut Silhouette
Sweaty Armpits Robot Pouch
Dirt Mall Disco Plaque
Commemorative Drawing (The longer you look at it, it's STILL ugly.)

Honeymoon: Day 4

2008-12-22T15:40:00.006-05:00

Hoop says that I have to stop finishing the sentence, "Belize was nice..." with the words "...but there were no monkeys." Because it wasn't about the monkeys. But it was. It really was. I was disappointed the moment we stepped off the ferry. I don't know what I expected; lush rain forests and houses in the trees maybe? I know, I'm such a stupid white girl. What we got instead was an early morning wake-up, followed by a jostling crowd of people and a long dirty bus ride. You can't wander in Belize City like you would other ports of call. They give you two options: buy an excursion or stay on the boat.

Hoop and I bought the excursion where you *clears throat*, "Lie back on your tube and let the current take you down the river. Stop for a dip in one of the swimming holes. Emerge in a Mayan tomb site, Hubelna, overlooking the river. Enjoy a tropical feast served in the heart of the jungle." Pretty cool, huh? What they failed to mention (but do now, coincidentally) was that there would be an hour and a half drive to get to the river. But that was before our guide turned the bus around fifteen minutes into the ride to tell us that our excursion had been cancelled. He told us fifteen minutes later that he was joking.

No one laughed.

After we picked up our missing tourists, the real reason for turning around, we were on our way. Belize City was nothing short of shocking in its poverty. Most of the houses looked condemned, although the clotheslines outside indicated differently. The streets were narrow and flooded. The people were skinny and dirty. Graffiti was everywhere. I noticed immediately that it was all in English. Words like "Cunt" and "Puppy" were often painted on the same wall of a bus station. "And now we leave the good side of town" our guide announced as we crossed into a portion of the city that looked absolutely no different than the one we'd left.

We all stared at him, waiting for an indication that he was lying or joking. But he wasn't. Although I would never agree to such a long bus ride again, I did learn a few interesting things about Belize along the way. One, most Belizeans speak English! Their lineage is a cross between British, African (slaves) and Maya. Two, "Mayan" is the word for the language the Mayas spoke, not the people. Three, Mayas still exist! In Belize alone there are three remaining tribes. Their names are Yucatec, Kekchi, and Mopan. If you ever stumble across a Maya in Belize, the appropriate greeting would be "Hach ki'imak in wóol in wilikech."

Or you could just nod.

During the trip, our guide described to us some of the wildlife we might see. It was here that monkeys were mentioned. "What about crocodiles?" I whispered to Hoop. He quickly raised his hand to ask. "What about crocodiles, snakes, and piranhas?" The guide chuckled. "There are several poisonous snakes in Belize, but all of them are nocturnal. Although I know we have crocodiles, I've never seen any in this river. As for piranhas, we have some, but they're very little. They like to nibble on nipples." "For real?!" One nervous tourist blurted out. The guide gave a sly glance and said, "You better wear a shirt."

After the hour and a half bus ride, we were dropped off at a little house not far from the border of Guatemala. Guatemala. I'm not even kidding you. An older gentleman, the owner of the house, loaded us onto a trailer fixed with benches. Then he pulled us up the mountain with his tractor. His wife and three small children watched with curiosity from the open doorway as we left. I couldn't stop cracking up at the absurdity of it all. "This isn't at all what I expected!" I shouted at Hoop over the clank of metal and wood. "Do you really think they have piranhas?" He replied.

To be continued...

Black December

2008-12-19T08:46:00.009-05:00

Back when I worked in retail, there were two words that were completely taboo to say. When spoken, these two words could chill the blood of every retail employee in earshot instantly. Those two words were... BLACK FRIDAY. To this day, hearing that phrase makes me shudder inwardly. Crazy things happen on Black Friday, unspeakable things. It's the one day a year that sweet old women can transform into vicious hand-slapping, discount-grabbing, monsters from Hell and no one will hold them accountable. Although maybe they should!

I once witnessed a lady beat her friend over the head with a handbag because she thought she was going to grab the same pair of shoes as her. Other years were marked by shoe throwing, shoe shoving, and shoe stealing. As you might have guessed, I worked in a shoe store. At the end of the day, a large group of mall employees would meet out back for a cigarette and to share "war" stories. It was horrible. Fortunately, the madness only lasted for one day. Although the mess lasted for seven. I was glad to leave Black Friday behind the day I left retail.

Little did I know, there was a beer industry equivalent, and this one lasts for 31 days! December is, by far, the worst month to work beer. Most people think it's July, but it's not. On top of Christmas and New Years, there are all the in between parties. It's the end of the year, the end of the month, and the end of a Quarter. More employees (mostly upper management) are on vacation. Traffic is worse. All these factors bunch up to make one long stretch of never-ending work. No matter how much sleep I get (or coffee I drink), I still get home ready to crash out.

So if I've been quiet lately, you know why. It's not because I don't care.

It's because every second of free time I have is being used to plot ways to sneak into the beer vat.