Honeymoon: Day 1 and 2

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This was our ship, the Enchantment of the Seas.

We almost didn't board her in time.

Here's a fact you might not know, I suck at directions. Hoop sucks at planning things. So imagine the trouble we get into when I trust him to plan something and he trusts me to gauge how long a drive is going to take. It was about ten o'clock on boarding day when Hoop checked the Royal Caribbean website and realized that our ship was going to begin loading at one. It was going to take us five hours to get down to Fort Lauderdale. "Baaaabe." He called from the office. "We have to leave- NOW." I was about halfway through my packing. I did the rest of it in tears, convinced we were going to miss our honeymoon.

We made it, but with no time to spare. The only time we stopped was to pee and to collect a warning ticket for speeding. By the time we got on the ship, my nerves were shot. Hoop gave me a tour of the facilities and then steered me in the direction of the boats massive buffet. Never have I seen so many of my favorite foods together in one place before! There was lobster ravioli, sushi, steak kabobs, stuffed chicken, and a dessert bar that could almost convince you to skip dinner entirely. Unfortunately, I could do no more than look at my overflowing plate with trepidation. The ship had begun to move.

I never got sick on the cruise. In fact, after the first night I was completely fine. I could run up and down the decks and eat two plates of food without ever a thought about where I was. But on that first night, my fear got the best of me. I retreated to our room for a little R&R and Hoop made his way to the casino. The next morning I awoke to a stillness I hadn't expected. "Why aren't we moving?" I mumbled to Hoop. Suddenly, we both shot out of bed and looked out the window. We were in Key West! After Hoop force-fed me breakfast, we left the boat to explore the port and score some drinks.


(An island off the coast of Key West.)


Our first stop in Key West was the art museum. Located just off the port, it was an easy choice for something to get into. It featured lots of "interactive" art, which Hoop and I took to mean "art you can get pervy with."


(Pinching The Mona Lisa.)


(Painting Grope!)


(Licking the Girl with a Pearl Earring.)


(Right At Home.)

There were tons of others. But really, how much dignity can we afford to lose on one post? After the museum, Hoop and I went bar hopping. But mostly it was for the cool t-shirts. At the last stop, the Flying Monkey, we got alcoholic slushies to go. We were in pretty good spirits by the time we bumped into this guy.

I can't remember the joke he told us. But I remember it had something to do with blowjobs, and the punchline included him letting beer pour out of his mouth. What a gem. Hey ladies, there's no ring on that finger as far as I can tell! Whatcha think? No? Ok, moving on.


This is where we eventually ended up, at the southern most point of the U.S. Obviously, this picture was taken by someone else. Why do people always cut us off at the feet? You should have seen this picture before I cropped it. There was allll this space on top and nothing on bottom. It was like that with several other shots too, all taken by different individuals. Next time, I'm bringing a tripod. As a whole, Key West was really fun and laid back. Not to mention colorful. I would definitely go back, if for nothing more than those alcohol slushies. YUM.

Bonus shot for Newt:


Tomorrow: Turkey Day! I'm taking the day off. Have fun Homebloys.
Friday: Cozumel, Mexico.