The Most Bizarre Shopping Trip Ever

I heard a report that said Wednesday was the best day to go grocery shopping.

Apparently, everyone else in my town heard that report too.

After two hours of playing bumper buggies with the masses, I managed to snag a checkout line that only had one person in it! It wasn't until I had half my items on the conveyor belt that I realized the old man in front of me was haggling with the cashier over the price of some pants. I waited patiently while he continued to block the aisle with his motorized boat chair. It was a voice from behind that eventually broke me from my daydream.

"Why isn't she moving?!"

I glanced back to see two old women. Well, to be honest, it was more like an old woman and an ancient woman. I leaned to the side so they could see what was happening in front of me.

"She sure is buying a lot of stuff!"

I glanced back again. Oddly, they had about the same amount of groceries as I did. As if me having more would have justified their comment anyway. I looked up and realized the ancient woman was openly glaring at me! Her companion then started to drum her fingers on the cart. Fortunately, the old man was done checking out at this point. I made quick work of loading the rest of my items on the conveyor belt and ran my card through before the cashier could even finish.

As I grabbed my cart to leave, I heard a sound that made me turn back around. The old woman behind me was clapping! I looked at the cashier, who was equally as stunned. This only made the old woman clap louder. Her ancient friend smiled at me smugly. I opened my mouth to say something. But what? What do you say to that? So instead I just shook my head and left.

I don't think I'm going grocery shopping on Wednesday anymore.