Friday, June 26, 2009

Dear Job Fairy

Please send work. I'm out of lotion.

Love,
Tink

P.S. I'll admit, I wasn't as stingy with my nest egg as I could have been. But who knew I was going to be out of work this long! As I sat in front of the computer yesterday, looking at my bank account and saying a bunch of expletives, I realized I had to do something (crazy). Otherwise I was going to start hitting into our "ABSOLUTE EMERGENCY!" money. That's the money I set aside in case Hoop or I ever ended up in jail or the hospital. It would be my luck that the moment I spent the money, one or both of those situations would happen. Hopefully unrelated!

Ugh. There are totally too many !s in this letter already. I don't want you to think that me running out of money means I can't eat. I can eat. I just can't eat expensive things like sushi, or steak, or anything that isn't on sale or B1G1 Free. Capeesh? Unemployment pays for 97% of my bills (thank God). So the worst thing that's going to happen by me running out of money is that my hair wont get done and my legs will start peeling (adding water to lotion only lasts so long) and I won't be able to go anywhere because my car will be out of gas and it's over 100 degrees outside.

It's enough to get a girl down. Last week I had to buy two weeks worth of groceries on $80. But I did it! I was so proud of myself that I bragged to the checkout lady, who didn't care one iota. This morning I realized that my littlest brother is turning 15 next Saturday. The thought of having to give him a crappy homemade birthday card that says "I'm sorry I suck. But I love you!" made my stomach sick. So I did something crazy. I gathered up all the jewelry my ex ever gave me and I sold it. I got $100 for it all. They even pulled out the gemstones for me to keep.

I thought I'd be sad. But I wasn't. I felt triumphant. And maybe a little liberated. I took a problem and I found a solution for it. I didn't have to borrow, beg or steal. I didn't cry and I didn't have a pity party. After pulling out the money for my brother, I went out and bought myself a bottle of wine... on discount, of course. I don't know what I'll do when this money runs out. I'm out of jewelry and Hoop isn't going to restock me ;). But maybe I'll have work by then. Are you listening, Job Fairy? That was a hint!

Have a wonderful weekend Homebloys.

I'll think of you over a glass of wine
.


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31 Comments:

At 26 June, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey darlin, for some reason that made me cry, i know i dont know yu but its really bugging me that you're in that situation and there is nothinmg i can do to help you. i am thinking of you though.
ellie xx

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger Bob said...

Give your brother some credit - I'm sure he understands that you're in financial straits and doesn't expect a wii. A homemade card, made from your heart (and innate craziness) would be well received - and does not indicate major suckitude.

I've been where you are, ate a bunch of ramen and hot dogs and hamburger helper. my relatives understood and did without presents and stuff. it will get better. while being jobless sucks, it does not make you suck.

chin up.

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger meno said...

Did you have to buy a BOX of wine? I mean, if that's what you have to do, then so be it, but that would really suck.

Crossing my fingers for the job fairy to hear your plea.

Also, olive oil makes a pretty good moisturizer, if you have any.

 
At 26 June, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You ask, The Job Fairy shows up. Visit http://www.jobfairy.com/ for free help and advice. Yes Virginia, there *is* a Job Fairy. Several, actually. We're here to help.

 
At 26 June, 2009, Anonymous Daisy said...

Ahem.

If you bought a card from etsy, it would be homemade. I'm just saying....

Had to check in and see if you were asking the job fairy for any of the same stuff that I'm asking the job fairy for. Cuz I don't want the job fairy to get all, "who are these people bugging me for the same things; I'm outta here!"

Fingers crossed for you. Fingers crossed for me. xo

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger Knot said...

I hate to say this, but the only thing left for you is either prostitution or pole dancing. I know, I'll be a good pimp. Sorry it's come to that.

I'm proud of you for all the stuff you are learning to do with no money. I've been there myself. Something is out there.

I found this site for other reasons. scamajob.com and if you wanted to do some freelance work you could use rentacoder.com. Bid on some easy graphics work and see what happens.

I know you don't like me to say this, but I'll pray for you.

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger Chris said...

You can come live in my living room if you clean the litterbox. And don't mind kitties dancing a jig on your noggin at two a.m.

 
At 26 June, 2009, OpenID kcinnova said...

Job Fairy, Job Fairy, where art thou, Job Fairy?!?!

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger geenalyn said...

been there done that on the selling of jewelry. When Daynah was just a wee baby Peter lost his job and we needed cash. I didn't have jewelry from ex's just Peter, but i sold everything but my wedding rings and a pair of gold studs. The dude wasn't as nice to me though (he kept all the stones).

I hope you find a job soon...if there is anything I can do to cheer you up just let me know :)

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger Mouse said...

Our usual "grocery" (which is everything bought inside a store) is about $40.00 for 3 ppl & 2 cats.. it can be done as long as you know which store is the cheapest and you stick to store brands. In the last few months we've had to cut back to about $30 a week... which is when I started making our own bread and pizza too. It gets easier.. though I hope you find a job soon. Hang in there.. I'll be thinking of you.

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger HalfAsstic.com said...

Well, look at you all industrious and everything! Bless your heart, I hope something comes along soon! Tomorrow! IMMEDIATELY! I'll be thinking of you and praying for you and for gawd's sake send me your address and I'll send you lotion! I mean it!

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger Reb said...

Tink, I've been there and it really sucks. Is there a food bank you can access? Call and find out if you qualify for their help. Once you are back on your feet you can get those stones set into something nice that you will wear - as a celebration of your return to fiscal independence. Crossed fingers for you.

 
At 26 June, 2009, Anonymous The Beer Geek said...

I've been there too Tink! sigh You're in my prayers as always! I'm getting very tempted to go to Westers and bring up the makings of a nice dinner some weekend soon! I will do it too! Just ask our other friend :)

 
At 26 June, 2009, Blogger LL said...

*smooch* Well... I guess you could always go back and talk to the mortuary again... :P

Keep the faith girlie! I'd hate for you to have to drop your internet connection!

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger flutter said...

you need to send me your address for a present

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Oh Tink....I hope things work out, you're such a good person.

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger mamatulip said...

Aw, Tink.

I hope the job fairy sprinkles you with dust soon.

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger Gramps said...

Please let us know how we can be of support--emotionally and otherwise. Hang tough, Tink.

 
At 27 June, 2009, Anonymous apathy lounge said...

I agree. Your brother would NOT want you to go without food (or wine) on his behalf. Or sell jewelry to get something for him. Explain the situation. Good luck, Tink! Or...move to Texas. I think the job market's a little better here.

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

I'm right there with yah, tink. the job fairy granted me a part time, from home gig, but the pay is crap. i havent had my hair cut in over two months, and Ive been making my hair conditioner double as lotion. Don't judge, it works, kinda...

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger Kimmykay said...

Hang in there (by your fingernails if you have too). Hopefully the job fairy shows up soon (unlike the tooth fairy at my house. She sucks... just ask my kids and the last 4 teeth they have lost and the tooth fairy lost her way and didn't show up until well past morning... but I digress)

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger Peggy said...

Hang in there baby! You are so quality! Somebody will see how lovely you are and give you a high paying job soon!!

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger the planet of janet said...

roo has made what we call "crappy homemade cards" for years.

we love them.

hang in there...

 
At 27 June, 2009, Blogger Woman in a Window said...

Tink, I just have to say, as a helper to the tooth fairy who totally arfed up and gapped last night, leaving my sobbing son's tooth under his pillow, um, er, you might want to make sure you've addressed this letter well. If it comes my way, I can't make any promises.

You so totally rock, you jewelry hocking genius.

 
At 28 June, 2009, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

AAAHHHHH! I can't believe you are still without work. Awful, awful, awful!

And, a newlywed. No bueno.

Way to have a positive, upbeat outlook, Gal. Work is coming.

:-)

 
At 29 June, 2009, Blogger Tawcan said...

Hanging there Tink. I don't think your brother would totally understand if you just gave him the card. It's the thought that counts. Definitely try not to touch that emergency fund if you can avoid using it.

 
At 29 June, 2009, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Sorry!! Hope things look up soon.

 
At 29 June, 2009, Blogger Janet said...

A friend of mine has just started couponing...I bet I can cajole her into giving up a couple bottles of lotion from her stockpile!!!

 
At 01 July, 2009, Blogger fiwa said...

When I find that good for nuthin' job fairy, I'm kickin her ass. She's been on vacation or somethin. Hmpf.

Love you-you bargain shopper you.

 
At 02 July, 2009, Blogger Knight said...

Ugh! I'm with ya lady. I'm with ya. I'm about to do a clean out right now to see what could be sold.
I'm hoping something wonderful happens for you right now!

 
At 05 July, 2009, Blogger Sandy at God Speaks Today said...

I'm out visiting blogs tonight and came across yours...

Two things came to mind:

1. You are a great writer. I bet you could submit some of your stuff for publication. Not sure what your job was before. If it was in writing, then sorry.

2. All your creative scrimping inspires me. So if anything, know you inspired a complete stranger.

OK...three things:

3. When my husband lost his job a few years ago, I discovered chicken on the bone as opposed to boneless, skinless chicken breasts. I named it, "Ain't got no job chicken." And that is what we call chicken on the bone to this day.

Praying for employment soon!
Sandy

 

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