Outbreak 2

What the hell is wrong with you people? Quit tagging me!

Forewarning, this sequel is probably going to suck like "Jaws 2".

But I'm doing it for the *delectable and savory G-Man. Even though this meme requires not four but SEVEN random facts. Oy vey. Maybe I'll make it a holiday edition. After that I'm disinfecting the blog. So please, do not pass your infectious memes this way. I will bust out the sporks. I haven't had a spork-slaying this year, but it's not too late to start.

1. Provide a link to the person who tagged you, and spell out the rules of the meme on your blog. DONE
2. Share 7 (seven) random and/or weird facts about yourself. How bout six and a half?
3. Tag 7 (seven) random bloggers with this meme and post links to their blogs at the end of this post. I like how they spell out the number just in case you're too stupid to understand.
4. Let those who have been tagged know so by leaving a comment on their blog, and telling them where to find information regarding the meme they are now obliged to do. Ha ha. I'm not going to do it just to spite you, evil meme!

Vun. The year before I met Hoop, I dated a guy who was nicknamed Korndog. Yes, with a "K". God, that man was stupid. It was right around Christmas time when I realized I didn't want to continue seeing him. He was controlling and had a bad habit of resorting to childish behavior each time things didn't go his way. Like turning on the washing machine, the sprinkler, and the dish washer while I was taking a shower just to be nasty. So I ended the relationship with Korndog... So I thought. He had other ideas. For two weeks he badgered me with phone calls and texts. Finally, as a last resort, I agreed to have dinner with him so we could "discuss" things. I offered to pick him up. Only instead of driving to a restaurant, I took him to Target instead. "I just need to exchange a few things," I told him. I loaded him up with bags and we went into the store. You should have seen the look on his face when I opened the bags to reveal all the Christmas presents I had bought him! He asked to be taken home after that. How's that for closure?

Two. I could do without the presents, the fancy dinner, and the lights outside. But Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas without a tree. Even when I was living alone, I made the journey to the tree lot almost every year. I couldn't afford much more than a Charlie Brown variety, but having a tree always put me in the spirit just the same. Last year, Hoop and I didn't have a tree because we didn't have a house. So I'm really looking forward to decorating one this year!

Tree. The worst present I've ever received was a set of chipped angel head butter spreaders. The second worst was a necklace made out of rusty bits of metal. Both were given to me by my maternal Grandfather's wife. I think she secretly hates me.

Vore. The best way to NOT get something from me for Christmas is to tell me that you want it. I pride myself on getting people presents that they don't expect and always love. So it's always a huge disappointment when I find out the person either didn't like the gift or hasn't used it since. Last year I bought Hoop a Camelbak, a Chipper Jones collectors picture, and a bunch of other crap he's never used. So this year I'm focusing all my gift-giving energy on him. If that doesn't work, I think my new tradition will be to get him drunk on Christmas morning.

Vive. One of my favorite Christmas memories was from 2003. I was working retail with a single Mother of four and a bachelor with three girlfriends. None of the girlfriends knew about each other. So it was always a little risky when one showed up while he was working. The bachelor would post me as look-out at the front of the store while he spent time with the girlfriend in the back. On the occasion that one of the other girlfriends showed up, my job was to tell them that the bachelor was on lunch and out of the store. Then I would go to the back for "restock items". In reality, I was going to the back to tell the bachelor that the corporate office had called and that our DM was on her way for a visit. So then the bachelor would usher the girlfriend out the back so she didn't bump into the other girlfriend at the front. As you've probably guessed, this was a recipe for disaster. On the Christmas of 2003, all three girlfriends found out about each other by all coming to the store at the exact same time...

Sex. ...Needless to say, the bachelor didn't have any girlfriends by Christmas. So instead, he pooled the money he would have spent on gifts into a fund I had created for the single Mom. We both met after work one day, bought presents, wrapped them, and dropped them off at the back door of our store. She never found out who did it, although I'm sure she suspected. Since then, it has always been a goal of mine to find another single Mom at Christmas. Two years ago, Hoop and I made due with a Mom whose husband was overseas. It's a great tradition. One I wish more people would catch onto. *HINT*

Savan. Sex un a have. Whenever I sit on Santa's knee, it makes me really, really h-

Well, that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed the show. Hopefully tomorrows post will be meme free.

*Please see post 1.