Monday, November 26, 2007


The *delicious and wholesome Alli has tagged me with a meme. Don't worry, I've forgiven her. She's new and doesn't understand how frequently these things make the rounds. They're like colds, only more vicious. The only thing the flu has ever gotten out of me is snot. Unlike this meme, which requires five random and weird facts. Jebus. Isn't my blog just one BIG random and weird fact? Enough bitching, here's da rules.

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog. Done.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.

Vun. I hate grease. Greasy foods. Greasy skin. Everything greasy under my hood. When posed with the question, "Would you rather eat a double scoop of lard on a sugar cone or drink a 6oz glass of phlegm?" I didn't even hesitate to shout, "Find me a straw!" Fortunately, it was just a game and I didn't really have to eat anything. But the thought of licking up a big grease ball made me want to cut out my tongue. On a rare occasion Hoop can get me to eat grease in the form of fried chicken, but only if it's well hidden in a salad. Other than that, count me out.

Two. I'm a HUGE "What if" person. I once spent an entire commute (approximately one hour) thinking of ways I would escape my car if it happened to go over the side of the bridge. For many years I carried a Swiss Army knife, a coat hanger, a bottle of water, and a spare pair of panties in my trunk. All items were eventually lost or used for non-emergency purposes. The underwear met its end at the hands of some drunk friends who used it as a slingshot.

Tree. Names and name meanings fascinate me. In
Twisted, every name has a meaning that correlates with the character or story in some way. When I was little, I thought of a million names I wanted for my future children. Toby, Lily, Nova, and Cora were among them. Those names have since been used for various pets. Each of our dogs has four nicknames at the least. I name cars and certain appliances. Once, I even named a stapler. Its name was "Moose" if you're curious.

Vore. Unlike Alli, I have never met anyone famous. Unless you count Mickey Mouse. I've never even met someone who became famous later on or was locally infamous. When the Superbowl was being held in Jacksonville, I went to a huge publicized party in the hopes of seeing someone famous. But the Playboy Bunnies and P. Diddy didn't show up until after hours. I tried to look super cute, but the bouncer still threw me out.

Vive. I have bizarre fantasies. No, not those kinds of fantasies! I mean the totally random and off the wall kind. The other day I was standing in the middle of the produce isle and I suddenly got the urge to bite an onion. I didn't. But I wanted to. Sometimes I fantasize about pushing people off curbs or driving until I run out of gas. I used to fantasize about taking a bath in milk. No lie. Lately my fantasies have been of the work variety. I daydream about staying late just so I can screw with the desks of all the people I dislike. Nothing too extreme. Maybe I'd just switch their supplies from right to left or put a piece of tape over the ball on their mouse.

TAG: Eh. If you're feeling froggy, jump.

* You can only use the descriptions awesome, wonderful, talented and beautiful for so long before they stop meaning anything. So I've decided that I'm going to start describing things like I do food...

P.S. Don't forget, the
WWC words for tomorrow are ASSORTMENT and PURPLE.



At 26 November, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I totally relate to the daydreaming. We'll just leave it at that.

That post was just yummy goodness!

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger furiousBall said...

I for one am pleased you changed the first letter of these numbers to V.

That's the wittiest thing I could say? Crap.

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

I've actually had the milk bath fantasy myself. I think weird food fantasies might be your body's way of letting you know it needs a certain vitamin or mineral. Aren't onions high in vitamin c?

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

Wow! Even *I* have met a couple of famous people. A couple more if porn stars count. LOL

I do a lot of daydreaming myself. Sometimes they are rather violent fantasies while driving though.

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger meno said...

Put tape over the mouthpiece of their phones, that way the caller can't hear them, but they can hear the caller. Takes a while to figure it out as the tpe is clear.

Or you can tape the phone to the base. That's funny too.

Or put vaseline all over the earpiece.

I day dream a lot in the shower. Not like that, just stuff about saving the world or dying in a fiery car crash.

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

I used to hate "meme's" too. I thought the same thing, "isn't my blog just one BIG random and weird fact" about moi? But I've grown to accept them in this blogosphere of ours and have a pretty good time of them! They aren't as bad as other things out there.

Yours was absolutely "delectable"! I wish it was more than 5. . . .

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger Alli said...

Thanks for being a good sport & putting up with my shenanigans, oh, and for thinking I am delicious & wholesome...I love being compared to food. ;)

I agree the weird and random things about us do probably end up on our blogs, but occasionally these prompt some thoughts that might never have been brought up. For example, your fantasies! Those are great! Glad to know there others out there that do that, too. Shower time, driving, & exercise time are when my silly thoughts wander off.

Yes, this was quite a TASTY post!

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Hell, some of these come around so often, my cats have done them, too! Blog fodder, baby, blog fodder.

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Oh come on!! You have to have some sex fantasies!! For Hoop, just play along...

I do have weird thoughts sometimes that I call mini-panic attacks. I used to imagine that I forgot to put pants on.

At 26 November, 2007, Blogger Gordo The Geek said...

I work in a University environment and very often, our buildings are treated as shopping malls by light-fingered individuals. In my previous department, I decided that the IT guy's got a vested interest in keeping equipment around, so I took it upon myself to teach my co-workers the evils of leaving their offices and leaving the doors open. Usually, I'd steal the receivers from their phones. My record was having six extra receivers in my office at once. :-)

After they caught on to me, I started stealing the cords. LOL

At 27 November, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

"Two. I'm a HUGE "What if" person"

After reading that I just wanna say that always new there was bit of Macgyver in you. ;)

At 27 November, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

I also can completely relate to the daydreaming thing.


At 28 November, 2007, Blogger tammy said...

My Brother in law's cell phone used to have the message, "___ loves ___" (I think his wife was responsible). Every chance I got I changed it to say something mean. It was fun. No one ever said anything!


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