Outbreak

The *delicious and wholesome Alli has tagged me with a meme. Don't worry, I've forgiven her. She's new and doesn't understand how frequently these things make the rounds. They're like colds, only more vicious. The only thing the flu has ever gotten out of me is snot. Unlike this meme, which requires five random and weird facts. Jebus. Isn't my blog just one BIG random and weird fact? Enough bitching, here's da rules.

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog. Done.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are TAGGED by leaving a comment on their blog.

Vun. I hate grease. Greasy foods. Greasy skin. Everything greasy under my hood. When posed with the question, "Would you rather eat a double scoop of lard on a sugar cone or drink a 6oz glass of phlegm?" I didn't even hesitate to shout, "Find me a straw!" Fortunately, it was just a game and I didn't really have to eat anything. But the thought of licking up a big grease ball made me want to cut out my tongue. On a rare occasion Hoop can get me to eat grease in the form of fried chicken, but only if it's well hidden in a salad. Other than that, count me out.

Two. I'm a HUGE "What if" person. I once spent an entire commute (approximately one hour) thinking of ways I would escape my car if it happened to go over the side of the bridge. For many years I carried a Swiss Army knife, a coat hanger, a bottle of water, and a spare pair of panties in my trunk. All items were eventually lost or used for non-emergency purposes. The underwear met its end at the hands of some drunk friends who used it as a slingshot.

Tree. Names and name meanings fascinate me. In Twisted, every name has a meaning that correlates with the character or story in some way. When I was little, I thought of a million names I wanted for my future children. Toby, Lily, Nova, and Cora were among them. Those names have since been used for various pets. Each of our dogs has four nicknames at the least. I name cars and certain appliances. Once, I even named a stapler. Its name was "Moose" if you're curious.

Vore. Unlike Alli, I have never met anyone famous. Unless you count Mickey Mouse. I've never even met someone who became famous later on or was locally infamous. When the Superbowl was being held in Jacksonville, I went to a huge publicized party in the hopes of seeing someone famous. But the Playboy Bunnies and P. Diddy didn't show up until after hours. I tried to look super cute, but the bouncer still threw me out.

Vive. I have bizarre fantasies. No, not those kinds of fantasies! I mean the totally random and off the wall kind. The other day I was standing in the middle of the produce isle and I suddenly got the urge to bite an onion. I didn't. But I wanted to. Sometimes I fantasize about pushing people off curbs or driving until I run out of gas. I used to fantasize about taking a bath in milk. No lie. Lately my fantasies have been of the work variety. I daydream about staying late just so I can screw with the desks of all the people I dislike. Nothing too extreme. Maybe I'd just switch their supplies from right to left or put a piece of tape over the ball on their mouse.

TAG: Eh. If you're feeling froggy, jump.

* You can only use the descriptions awesome, wonderful, talented and beautiful for so long before they stop meaning anything. So I've decided that I'm going to start describing things like I do food...

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for tomorrow are ASSORTMENT and PURPLE.