Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Open Forum

I'm in a foul mood today.

Not toward you. You're OK.

Work is sending me to a different branch tomorrow to conduct interviews. I have one interview every half hour from 8:30 am until 4:30 pm. It's like speed dating for job candidates. "I'm sorry. I'd really like to hear how you're qualified for the position, but the egg timer just went off. You have to leave now." I'm trying to figure out how to cut my list of twenty questions down to four. Maybe I'll just cut them up into strips and draw them randomly out of a hat as the applicants arrive.

On top of work woes, I'm having pre-wedding-planning jitters. During lunch I asked Hoop for the hundredth time if he just wanted to elope. "We could do it in Hawaii!" He nixed that idea and reiterated that he'd really like all the family to be there. Isn't this role reversal? My feeling on the situation is, we're poor. Bottom line. We might be able to save up three grand by next year. But even having a backwoods wedding where I cater and Hoop gets his tux from a funeral home is going to wipe out any chance of us having a honeymoon.

Hello! The honeymoon is the BEST part!

Anyhoop. I'm rambling, I know. It's the coffee... or the crack. I'm just kidding. I don't do crack. Do you know how expensive that shit is?! Here's the deal. You all have until Thursday night to ask me whatever question(s) you want and I am obligated to answer them all. I know I haven't been the most diligent responding to my comments lately, although I promise I read and enjoy every one. So here's your chance.

Ask me about something I've written in the last month, or about something I haven't yet divulged. (Is that even possible?) Maybe you're sick and you want to know my bra size. You're going to be very disappointed if you do. Perhaps you have a question for Hoop or one of the dogs. Do you have a critique, suggestion, or rant? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. Ok, ok. If you don't get it yet, you never will. Happy questioning my friends. I will see you again on Friday!



At 07 November, 2007, Blogger furiousBall said...

I have a question for the dogs, which one of Hoop's sideburns is your favorite and why?

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Kelly said...

No questions, just some hopefully encouraging words about wedding planning. Having just gotten married two months ago, I know what you're going through. We managed to do our whole wedding for somewhere in the $8-9,000 range, which for our area (Twin Cities, Minnesota) is about 1/3 of the average wedding cost, and that included our honeymoon. And there were totally ways we could have skimped and cut corners. Our total food costs were somewhere around $1200, and there was tons of food left over. Here's my short list of suggestions - email me if you want to know more details, or completely ignore me if this is not helpful at all.

1) My mom made my dress. Obviously not an option for everyone, but an option. Another friend of ours bought a sundress at the mall for under $50.

2) City park, food on the grill with friends and family in charge.

3) No party favors. Or other frivolous things. Our outdoor reception meant minimal decorating, and we could have gotten away with less.

4) DIY flowers - silk from Michael's. Or go without flowers.

5) I made my veil, and it cost me under $5.

6) Go barefoot and save yourself the pain of "wedding shoes."

7) Do your own hair, nails, etc.

8) The best part of the honeymoon is the fact that the wedding is over, you're married, and you're alone. You can do that almost anywhere. Just be "away" and forget about the details. (Besides, who cares exactly where you are - do you really plan on leaving the bedroom?)

:) Don't stress out too much! Remember - as long as at the end of the day you're married, the day was a success.

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

I found my dress on clearance - $600 originally (in 1989), marked down to $75. We rented a sort of fancy but not too fancy house from the Park Board - it was maybe $75 for a half day. We just had a cake and boozy punch reception at that house afterwards - and a total of maybe 30 people. And some friends of ours threw us a big party that night.

Of course, YMMV, since we got divorced. :)

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

Planning a wedding is as close to hell on earth as you can get.

I'll think of a question for you...soon.

But for now, what was the first concert you ever saw?

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Kelly and Chris: BLESS YOU for your suggestions! I need 'em. ((HUG))

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Not that you really asked, but the best wedding advice I have is shop around. Do you have David's Bridal there? You'll have to dig, but they do have some nice dresses.
Flowers are really expensive, so think about ways you can cut money there. Can you do them yourself or can you press someone into doing them for you? Food is another thing that can cost you a lot if you have it catered. When I got married my sisters and I basically catered the food ourselves. It was a lot of work on the day of, but it saved me tons of money. Girlita, if I lived near you I would help!

I'll have to think on the question thing, I need some time to mull this over. ;)

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger R.E.H. said...

Good luck on the wedding planning, and don't just elope - you'd regret it afterwards.

My question for you... well, all I can think of is that time you meant to cut your hair off and donate it.

Why would a beautiful girl like yourself, who is the proud owner of such magnificent hair want to cut it all off? And, why (thankfully) did you end up keeping most of it?

(Yeah... I have a thing about hair. I just adore women with a head of long hair)

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Scottsdale Girl said...

What's your sign?

Which famous person do you think you look the most like?

Do you need me to set up a fundraiser for a honeymoon? :)

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Alli said...

I am still thinking of my question, but here is more wedding stuffs. As you probably figured out from my blog, we did a destination wedding in Maui. I RECOMMEND destination wedding to everyone!!! They are so much fun! We did that & then had a mid-day reception when we got home so those who couldn't go to Hawaii made it to that. I think we actually saved a lot of money that way.

I only spent about $600 on my dress & that included the alterations. I got it at Jessica McClintock. I LOVED my dress! Ever want any advice just ask me...I loved wedding stuffs & I am all about saving money.

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Dave63 said...

Hi Tink, First time on your sight, via the Twins. Elope ok, just boggie on down to Maui and say I do on the Beach, then blow all your cash on the Honeymoon. Thats where that memories really are, BTW here is my question. What is your bra size? lol No just kidding, actually why the Nmae Tink?

At 07 November, 2007, Anonymous gawilli said...

My question is, What you and Hoop really want in a wedding? It's easy to get sidetracked with what everyone else wants and end up with their wedding instead of yours.

John and I were married in our living room in front of the fireplace with his children and mine. It was what we wanted. My daughter flew to Hawaii then had a small reception at home for the friends that didn't get to come along. It was what she and her husband wanted. What is most important to you?

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Yeah, Mr. J and I just went to the JP, and saved all the money we'd have spent on a big wedding... bought a house within about 6 months... so I guess that was cool. I don't like all the irritation of big events. Different strokes and all though. I would follow your heart and if you did elope you could spend all that money on whatever you'd enjoy, the most memorable important part. Big weddings aren't for everyone. Just enjoy everything and live one day at a time!! :))

Everything's going to be great! :)) Smiles from your Aunt Jackie.

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger CRUSTYBEEF said...

No questions, but I think if your blogging buddies wanted to send you a congratulatory card, you should have a donate here button..I'd tip ya!
I know how hard it is..hence the reason for our elopement..

but you could always rent a dress...and do whatever you think is is hard, but remember the commitment isn't! :)

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger butterfly girl said...

Crusty Beef beat me to it. I suggest setting up a piggy bank through PayPal and us blogger's who love you so very very much can give you early wedding gifts of cold hard cash!!

Also, I bet you didn't know this, you know an experienced floral designer. Yeah, that's right, me! If you were to do silk I could pack them up and send them to you! If you need advice in the flower department, I'm your go to gal!

So my question...if you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

Oh and I came oh so close to spitting Captain Crunch all over the monitor with the suit from the funeral parlor thing! I knew it was coming and it stil cracked me up!

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Kelly said...

Putting this out there... if you ask nicely, I bet people will be more than willing to donate their time or services. For instance, if you want a veil, I could easily make you one. Or your friends and family would probably be willing to bring food or make a cake or whatever. It could be in lieu of gifts, but it could just be out of the goodness of their hearts. Ask around - people will surprise you. Especially married people, who have been through this before and have sympathy for the experience.

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger meno said...

Elope. Your family will forgive you, eventually.

Just saying be cause i wish i had.

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

H and I got married on the cheap because I was moving to another country later on in the week. We married in a park (rented pavilion)by a judge and then had a big catered picnic. The city park codes said no booze so that was a savings there. Fried catfish and chicken, watermelon, coleslaw you know, picnic stuff and The Cake. Everybody had a nice time, we got married and not much money was spent. It stuck - we're still married. I know plenty of folks who spent tens of thousands only to get divorced before all the ink on the thank yous were dry.

At 07 November, 2007, Blogger ETK said...

Two words: destination wedding

Your choice, wherever you want, fun, affordable and everyone gets a vacation out of it. AKA: weddingmoon. :)

I'd be happy to help plan as much as you need help with. I love that shit.

My "resume":

I'm trying to get my photography business off the ground, maybe I could be your photographer?

Tink about it. HA!

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

Most important thing about the wedding is that you guys have fun. Fuck everything else.

So how long are your toes?

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Melanie said...

this could be a blog entry...

Tell me about your wildest getting drunk experience, and how was the hangover?

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

I'll think of a question, but I thought I'd weigh in on the wedding stuff. The planning is hard because you're spending a lot of time trying to do everything that everyone else thinks you should do, so don't do that.

Eloping is always tempting, but your family and friends want to celebrate with you--mine threatened bodily harm if I eloped. So, keep the wedding simple because the fun is the reception when you get to see everyone and they get to celebrate a happy moment in your life with you. The flowers, the cake, the clothes are all expensive but there are ways to save--carry stemmed flowers of something in season instead of a fancy bouquet, don't buy a wedding cake big enough to feed everyone, have a smaller, prettier cake and sheet cake to serve from, and you can find a great dress on sale. Oh, and my bride's maids were thrilled that I found an off-the-rack summer dress that they could wear other places instead of a Taffeta disaster.

And the photographer! Yeah, that can get pretty expensive. My mother bought my photos for me as my wedding present, so maybe some friends or family could go in together and do the same for you and Hoop. Also, put disposable cameras around during the reception and let people take photos--amazing the fun pics you'll get.

Oh, I thought of a question! If you could honeymoon anywhere, where would it be?

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Real Live Lesbian said...

What's your favorite color and why?

The why part's the important part....don't skip it!

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

What book changed your life and why? That's my question.

Hope you're feeling better today -

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Our guests brought the food and the party so we could invite everyone rather than not being able to afford to get married and just invite a few.

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Edge said...

Ok, I'll bite. what's your bra size, and don't lie ... and reverse cowgirl or missionary

Ok now for my real question.

Since you donated your hair to charity, are you also an organ donor and if you are, what organ would you hope someone would get on your untimely demise?


At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

Okay, I don't know why I'm so late here. I was going to think of a good question and then got busy and now I'm probably too late. Hopefully not though.

Anyway my question is "Can you tell your readers a little about how discovering my blog was probably the best day of your life and how I bring a light and warms to your life through my blog that nobody ever has in the past?"

Bwahahahahahaa .. I crack myself up.

Seriously, here's your questions.

"How long did Hoop have to stalk you before you gave in and went out with him? Or vice versa.

If you could take the place of any actress in any movie classic or not so classic who would it be and why?

Which male character (not the leading man, but the character he plays) would you consider to be the perfect man?

Sorry so late with these!

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Oh, hang in there with the wedding stuff! I had the big church wedding the first time (complete with blues band at the omen? Naaaaaahhh!). The second time, we had a justice of the peace in a gazebo at a bed and breakfast, just our immediate family in attendance. It was MUCH preferable to the first. :)

At 08 November, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

Ok, question - If you could be any animal which would you choose and why and what would be the first thing you would do as that animal?

The wedding thing, you'll be getting in an email. We did our whole thing from start to finish including honeymoon for under 3 grand. No worries girlfriend. That's what friends are for.

At 09 November, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

damn...i may have missed the deadline...oh well!

Remember, if you're planning your own wedding then the only people you need please are the two exchanging vows...have fun, order Pizza from Dominos and make it BYOB...just make sure you have a great honeymoon.

My question would have been "what is your favourite Beer and Jerky?"

Have a great Friday and a delicious weekend

At 09 November, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

I'm late so I can't ask a question no more.

. . . .but . . . .

I do have 2-cents regarding your wedding. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand. . . though you didn't ask, you shall receive:

Destination weddings are most fabulous(!), but they are tough on the friends and family who want to be there; however, cannot afford it or some other reason keeps them from going overseas. In reading (according to Miss Manners) up on the rules and reg's for such a thing, the bride/groom are supposed to pay for family (and some friends - this was a few years ago, so forgive me if it has changed) if the bride/groom want them to attend. So, it can cost just as much as having a wedding back home.

[Miss M mentioned that it is not right to expect them to pay these costs if you decide to make them travel afar for your vows, especially since you don't have the cost of a wedding back home, blah, blah, blah. . . .]

I didn't have a destination wedding, but I had a completely different state wedding. Unfortunately, I now wish I could have done it otherwise. Not many attended who we wished would have.

On the other hand, as much as I wanted to go, I also missed a wedding b/c they had a destination one and, again, I/we couldn't afford that. I really wanted to be there though.

I learned that friends do want to be there if at all possible. So does family. It's a tough call. But ultimately yours. What's the answer? Only you and Sandwich Hoop know - it's in your hearts.

You'll figure it out. If there is anyone creative enough to do it, it is you, Tink.

At 09 November, 2007, Blogger Joel said...

Congratulations on your wedding! Read the post before on one of my WWC days but didn't wish you :(

I'm not late though! :)

At 09 November, 2007, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Nature or nurture? Which do you feel is more responsible for the way a kid turns out?

At 09 November, 2007, Blogger J said...

Of the 50 states, which one (that you haven't been to before) would you most like to visit, and why?

At 12 November, 2007, Blogger Real Live Lesbian said...

Excellent answer, blue is. And excellent points you made! I'm satisfied now. ; )

At 12 November, 2007, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

I think your opening couplet-

I'm in a foul mood today.

Not toward you. You're OK.

Is one of the funniest things I've read. It definately tickled me, sorry it came from such a dark place for youepd


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