Thursday, November 01, 2007

Out With October

So ends my favorite month...

Updates on Halloween tomorrow.

October Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Tuesday.
2. The most popular hour being 2pm.
3. The top referrers were Jay and Alien.
4. The most used search term was, "bottling pickled beef tongue"
5. My favorite search terms were, "horse in a bikini," "dog chews crotch," and "tint tits."
6. The highest hit post (247) was on October 23rd, the day I (sort-of) announced Hoop's and my
engagement.

31 Quirks For 31 Days:
1. My 14yr old brother doesn't understand etiquette when it comes to two-way radios.
2. See, you're supposed to beep once and then wait for the other person to beep back before talking.
3. He just talks.
4. I don't know how many times I thought my purse was speaking to me.
5. It's very unnerving.
6. I love scaring people.
7. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't jump out from behind something to scare Hoop.
8. Fortunately, he has nerves of steel. I hope our children inherit that trait.
9. Because scaring babies is WAY too easy.
10. I, on the other hand, startle easy. I have been known to scare myself while trying to scare others.
11. Every car I've ever owned has been blue.
12. I never put songs into a mixed CD arbitrarily.
13. Because of this, sometimes one CD will take me six months to make.
14. Despite being good at handling finances, I hate handling cash.
15. Six years ago, when I worked as an assistant manager at a retail store, my least favorite part of the night was counting the drawer down.
16. I used to have nightmares that my drawer was a penny off and they wouldn't let me go home until I figured out where it went.
17. I've been looking at getting a part time job as a bank teller so I can go back to school.
18. A BANK TELLER.
19. The flowers in my office are so fragrant, I can fart and no one notices!
20. Hoop's Mom says I belong on an episode of Seinfeld.
21. I think it's strange that the cleaning lady tells me what I can and cannot put into my own trash bin.
22. God forbid I slip up and put an empty coffee cup in there. Then she goes all trash Nazi on me and "accidentally" forgets to take my bin for a week.
23. Before I leave this job, I'm going to collect all the used coffee cups I can. Then I'm going to make a pyramid out of them on my desk.
24. It didn't take Hoop proposing to know that we would be together for life...
25. But somehow, it made it feel more real.
26. That doesn't make the prospect of planning a wedding any less daunting though!
27. Do you think we could get away with having it at the bowling alley if we get everyone really really drunk first? No? Why not?
28. Sometimes Hoop and I pretend we're in a musical.
29. Not during sex though. That would just be weird.
30. My four favorite smells are fresh coffee, blooming Jasmine, men's cologne (lightly), and fog from a fog machine.
31. I hate the smell of cut grass, grease, old cigarette smoke, and feet.
*32. On a typical night I get five to six and a half hours of sleep.
*33. Which explains why I once fell asleep while cleaning the tub.

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: *Answers phone* I'm not here.
Coworker: Oh. Ok. Hey Tink, this is-
Tink: You didn't wait for the beep!
Coworker: Oh. Sorry.
Tink: Beeeeeeeeep.

November Search Terms (Already!):
1. girlfriend wondering what to do with his ex-wife's wedding gown WHY does he have his ex-wife's gown? Do you hear that? Those are alarm bells hon.
2. husband told on your knees lick clean our pussies Those poor cats.
3. its not over until its over Thank you Obvious Man.

Labels:

27 Comments:

At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

Fear of counting drawers + Bank Teller = oxymoron. Step away from the idea. Slowly.

I want to go back to school too. For what is a key question!

Great month, Tink!

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Edge said...

28 and 29 made me laugh ... because my wife and I do that ... just kidding. I chcukled because I pictured people in Viking hats with the long blond braids singing.

And it went something like this set to some weird opera.

"I would like to have an orgasm now ..."

"No you can't I'm not ready ..."

"But I can't stop ..."

"Stop ... I am not ready .."

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Jen: But the teller job is only 10 minutes from home! Maybe this is a fear I need to get over, hm?

Edge: LMAO. Ok, I totally heard that play out in my head. I wonder if Hoop would find it kinky. ;)

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Edge said...

Can I come to your wedding and be the drunk out of town relative that makes embarrassing conversation and does uncomfortable things while adjusting my pants?

~Jef

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

I used to have the same dream when I managed a Pizza while I was in college. I would be $1 short and they would REFUSE to just let me put my own dollar in there to make it even. Same dream, over and over and over. I don't even know who was stopping me from putting my own dollar in cause I was the boss. LOL


A wedding at the bowling alley with every drunk? Sure, why not? That would be pretty fancy around here.

I think you should live stream your wedding live online. I can get drunk from home and cry when you guys say "I do". ;-)

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Alli said...

You are officially one of my new favorite blogs. Girl, you make me laugh. Thanks for being one of my many distractions from studying for my boards. :)

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I always love your end of the month's list!

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

If you fart and no one smells it, does it really exist??

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger R.E.H. said...

#9 - Please tell me you wouldn't scare a little child? Scaring people is fun... but to scare an infant would be just plain wrong ;)

#22 - An empty plastic/paper cup belongs in the trash, as far as I'm concerned. Tell your cleaning lady to stuff it.

#25 - Sweet!

#28 and #29 - Now I gotta get a copy of Cats! for my next date. We'd even dress up for the occasion... ever heard of that? Dressing up for sex? Aaah, guess it's quite common thinking about it.

 
At 01 November, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

I would totally come to your bowling alley wedding, but only if you have the reception there as well.

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, the bowling alley would be SO SWEET. You should do it! And have your names embroidered on gown and tux...

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger ALLISON said...

OMG! In college, I'd choose random days and wake up and declare it "musical day." Then I'd go ALL day and sing everything (musical style) to my roommate instead of speaking to her. And I mean EVERYTHING. It was fucking hilarious if I do say so myself... especially since I can't sing.

(How the hell can you hate the smell of cut grass? Freak.)

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger ALLISON said...

Oh, and like Jay, around here, a wedding at a bowling alley would be fancy stuff. It's so funny, because when you get engaged, you start dreaming of that "perfect" wedding. You don't necessarily want completely traditional, but you want pretty and nice, etc.

After you're married for a few years, you look back and think, "Screw that. We should've just gotten married at the pig roast." LOL!

Hey, I have a friend who got married right around (or on?) Halloween... I don't remember. Anyway, their reception was a costume party. It RULED! Think about it. ;)

 
At 01 November, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

We'll all come to work your last day, hell, R.E.H. alone can probably triple the number of cups you leave for her. Any excuse to drink more coffee......

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Huh. I hate math, but I never worried about balancing my till. That's probably because I knew it NEVER WOULD!

I love the end of the month quirk days - they always crack me up. Don't you know if you fart in the room with the lilies that it will kill them faster?! ;)

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

Bowling alley would be a fantastic venue! I wish that I thought of it for ours!

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger janet said...

the bowling alley would totally rock. you could do it during cosmic bowling.... picture it: black light, disco ball, fog. perfect.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

Well congratulations, obviously!!!

I love that you're not above scaring babies.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger Macoosh said...

i fully support the bowling alley idea. do it. doooo it.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

Well, if you don't really want to have the wedding in a bowling alley, I bet there's a Vegas wedding where you can have it in the style of a bowling alley. Vegas is classy like that.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger Christy said...

Talking about scaring yourself.

I was sitting at the dinner table once and screamed. I had felt a hand on my knee under the table. It ended up being my own hand. My Dad still teases me about this.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger furiousBall said...

I'm going to post pictures of Hoop's sideburns so I can kick Jay's ass in referrereree..ing

BTW, Jay rocks, but she's going down.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger captain corky said...

"I think it's strange that the cleaning lady tells me what I can and cannot put into my own trash bin."

The guys at work don't care what we put in the garbage, but then again they're making 25 bucks an hour.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger meno said...

I worked as a teller while i went to school. But then i got a job title inflation and became a Customer Service Representative.

But i still did the same job.

Puzzling.

 
At 02 November, 2007, Blogger rudecactus said...

I'm sure musical sex could be interesting, although there's a good potential for injury.

Is it wrong that I'd kinda like to see a horse in a bikini?

 
At 03 November, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

I could SO see you on Seinfeld.

 
At 06 November, 2007, Blogger amusing said...

I was sure I must have planned my wedding wrong because it took no time at all, and aside from the invitation place doing a crappy printing job twice, it was all rather pain free. Once everything was booked, that was it. And I kept thinking "what is all the freaking fuss about -- did I forget something?"

Nope.
It's like my mother's version of Thanksgiving that is overwrought with stress and timing the green beans to the second vs. at my sister's place, where you just start everything cooking and go watch football.....

 

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