A Case Of The Mondays

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: What would you like to title this presentation, sir?
Boss: Measurable Controllables.
Tink: Measurable-?
Boss: -Controllables.
Tink: Oh-kay.
Boss: What's wrong?
Tink: I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to say that without sounding like I have marbles in my mouth.
Boss: Practice!
Tink: I hope you don't mean literally.

Thank you all for your comments on Friday's vlog! I never knew I had an accent. But now that I know, I'm going to painfully self conscious of it. So, thank you. Do you feel guilty? Ha! I already knew I had an accent. It's my punishment for all those years I made fun of the locals. One day as a joke I started saying "heyad" instead of "head," and it stuck. I'm never going to be taken seriously up North. I'm going to yell at someone and they're going to giggle and say, "She's so cute." That or they're going to try and convince me to say things.

You laugh. But that shit happens. I took my friend Tina up to Ohio and she became a local celebrity. We went to a party and the whole evening revolved around making Tina say things. "Say Momma." "Mawma." "Awwww!" "Say car." "Car." "Aw-Oh... I guess you don't say that any differently than we do." "Naw." "Awwww!" That poor girl was all mixed up. We went to Denny's and she ordered a sweet tea, so they brought her a hot tea with honey. She explained that she wanted a COLD sweet tea and they put ice cubes in it. The look on her face... It was like someone killed something right in front of her.

Back to the subject though... I'll have to make another vlog soon to prove that Hoop is still alive and that no, I didn't kill him. To answer Orhan's questions: I was sitting in the backseat of my car because I was stranded right in front of my office building. The backseat was at least shaded and partially hidden from view. But just in case, I pretended to be talking on my cell phone so that no one would notice I was talking to myself. In reality I wasn't talking to myself, but rather the camera, which was another thing I didn't really feel like explaining to everyone.

(Hypothetical)
Coworker: Were you just making a video of yourself?
Tink: Um. Yeah.
Coworker: Why?
Tink: Because it makes me feel special.
Coworker: Oh.

Some of you are here to find out about the gift I got on Wednesday night. I'll fill you in, but I'm afraid you'll have to wait for pictures until tomorrow. Oh come on, it's not like suspense ever really killed someone. Newt sent me a very original first edition of Twisted Tink. It's gorgeous. I would have paid someone a couple hundred dollars for work like this. The pages are burned around the edges and matted in a book with personalized decorations and designs for the theme of each chapter. Just thinking about it gives me the warm fuzzies. Thank you again Newt! You're an amazingly sweet and talented friend.

Don't forget WWC tomorrow!

P.S. I haven't forgotten about your blogs! Work has been nuts. So I'll be checking on everyone once I get home tonight.