Monday ≠ Funday

Weekend Recap:
1. Hoop checked the blog last night and was very upset that no millionaires commented.
2. I didn't have the heart to tell him that this blog isn't that popular.
3. Maybe I should adopt Ellen Degeneres' reject dog or something for publicity.
4. Friday night, Hoop and I considered going out. We played around with the idea of going to a movie or the haunted house near my parents' place. "We could carve pumpkins!" I suggested excitedly.
5. We tossed around ideas until we fell asleep on the couch.
6. Eleven o'clock the next morning, Hoop persuaded me to go out for breakfast. I agreed, as long as I could wear my PJs.
7. Had I known the place would be swamped, I might have reconsidered wearing a rumpled Budweiser t-shirt and boxers.
8. Apparently, people go to church on Saturday as well as Sunday in our town. That, or they get dressed up to eat at the pancake house.
9. I'm not sure which prospect scares me more.
10. Saturday evening we went out drinking with Nash, who was in town with his son for the weekend.
11. While using the bathroom at the beach bar we'd decided on, I noticed an odd pair of feet waiting outside the stall. They were in white tights and wearing sparkly red heels.
12. "Isher toilet paper inder?" A very drunk Dorothy asked me as I opened the door. "There's some in this stall, sweetie!" Called out Marilyn Monroe. She was followed in by the Queen of Hearts, who nearly took off my head with her flamingo scepter.
13. "Cute costumes," I said, trying to be friendly. "Ino. I look hot!" Dorothy slurred, staring down at her own cleavage. I tried to step gingerly over the assorted props on my way to the door, but Dorothy's basket got in the way.
14. All three girls squealed as the basket tipped, sending a stuffed animal Toto skidding across the floor. It stopped somewhere beneath the sink, where no cleaning lady has ever gone before. A nice person might have helped retrieve the contaminated pooch.
15. I am not that nice.
16. Sunday morning, Hoop and I came home to ROOFERS!
17. If the rain stops, they should be done by Tuesday.
18. One project down, forty-five more to go.

Tink Quote Of The Day:
"If someone discovered the face of Mary in a pile of dog poo, do you think someone would buy it on Ebay?"

Spam Subjects:
(In the order I received them)
Is your partner happy? He better be!
Satisfy Any Woman It's easier than you think.
She'll beg for more ...chocolate and Johnny Depp movies.
Few Inches Longer? We're talking chocolate bars, right?
Bigger Is Better Didn't I just confirm that?
Go For a Car Ride Can I stick my head out the window?

Don't forget the WWC tomorrow! I'll also be posting pictures of my new do.