Monday, October 22, 2007

Quick Draw

I'm exhausted!

I'm just going to ramble until I can't anymore, OK?

Halloween Horror Nights was AWESOME! But it wasn't because of the park. Each year the event gets more crowded and less spectacular. When HHN first started out, the whole park was a scare zone. Now, the scare zone is limited to one small area. If you don't invest in a $65 express pass (while they last) then you're stuck in lines for up to two hours. Fortunately, Hoop and I are old pros at this. We strategically timed our route so that our line never exceeded an hour. Not that we mind each other's company. There's no one I would rather people-watch or pal around with than Hoop.

Unfortunately, the houses have started to slack over the years as well. I wouldn't warrant anything longer than a thirty minute wait for the length and quality of the haunted houses this year. Seven years ago, Universal took risks with their themes. There was a house that was completely pitch black. The floors would sink and sway beneath you. Just when your eyes would begin to adjust to the dark, they'd blind you with a flash of light. Then they'd lead you into a large room with body bags swinging from the ceiling and make you find your way out. This year there was nothing so creative.

There was a haunted house with vampires, another with dummies, one with psychiatric patients... *Yawn* At times the lines inside the house were so heavy that we'd stand around for a minute amid the fog and bloody scenery before shuffling on. It broke the mood. Especially when you could see and hear what was going to jump out at you ten people ahead. The shows were interesting. Bill and Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure is always a favorite. This year featured Hollywood's three leading idiots: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. Britney Spears was bald, Lindsay Lohan carried around a huge jar of coke, and Paris Hilton... Well, she's already a caricature of herself.

One of the highlights of the night was when I witnessed a fight in the bathroom. Three teenage girls had snagged a bathroom out of line order, and a 30-something year old felt the need to scream her mind. "She's puking!" One of the 17 year olds yelled at the woman. "I don't fucking care!" She yelled back. Then the puker piped up from the stall. Slaps were exchanged and I quickly exited the scene. THAT'S why booze and theme parks don't mix my friends. Then, in one of the houses, I got punched in the mouth by a large black dude who was screaming and running away from a scrawny vampire. I was laughing so hard I couldn't be mad though. Even the vampire was cracking up.

By 2am, when the park closed, Hoop and I were drunk with exhaustion. We didn't even care that we had to wait an hour in the parking garage to leave. We played horn games with the cars around us and recapped the best moments of the night. All in all, I'm not sure I could say Halloween Horror Nights is worth the money. But Hoop and I are Halloween junkies who really love critiquing haunted houses together. So for us, it's probably something we'll continue doing. On a side note, we've decided what we're going to be for Halloween... CANNIBALS! We've already bought the bones to pile in our front yard. Man, I LOVE this time of year.

Don't forget the WWC is tomorrow!

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18 Comments:

At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Jess Riley said...

Oh, that sounds like such fun!!! You guys are a blast. J and I are Halloween junkies, too, though our crazy antics have waned over the years.

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Nettie said...

I am an absolute wuss when it comes to that stuff. I would have been the one you would laugh at. I don't like being scared. Glad you enjoyed yourselves! I am a gogo dancer this year...not as threatening, nor at filling as your idea.

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

The park itself sounds like a lot of fun. But, I'm not good at waiting in lines at all. In fact, I've never met anyone who is worse at it than me. I'm not totally impatient with everything, just when it comes to waiting in lines.

But, that was a great review and I can't wait to see pictures of the cannibals and all the cool stuff you guys do!

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

I just started reading a book called World War Z and it's about the Zombie war - when a virus causes large portions of the world population to become zombies. It's hilarious. Ok, the book isn't funny, but my brain in it's oh so creative ways has made it funny. I just imagine the hollywood moaning dead with the snapping teeth and body parts falling off and I crack myself up. I would SO be a zombie this year if we were going out.

Cannibals huh? Make sure you carry around your meat tenderizer and A1 sauce :-) And take pictures!!!!

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger R.E.H. said...

I'm a horror buff myself, so Halloween does have its perks. Would have loved to go there myself and witness the fun.

And, some big black dude was so scared, running from a vampire he punched you in the face (just to get past?) How will he face his girlfriend after that mishap?

"I need a man that can protect me", she says.

"Girl... it was no man. It was a vampire. A vampire...".

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger geenalyn said...

Okay, here are two haunted house halloween stories of mine to share (ya i know you didn't ask lmao)

1. I was like 8 yrs old (maybe 9) and the rec centre on base was having a haunted house and i desperately wanted to go. My next door neighbors agreed to take my brother and I for my parents. We get there and while waiting in line, there is a MEGA girl fight...blood is shed, clumps of hair is on the floor the MP's were called. Then we get into the haunted house and one of the rooms we go into was the Devil's Den, i was already pretty much scared shitless by this point and so the "devil" decided to pick me to do his scarey sphell on, telling me he'd come for me and was going to kill me....i was screaming and crying and my neighbor ended up escorting my butt out all the while I'm WAILING "I want my MOMMY"

2. When Peter and I were dating, he came down for a visit around Halloween so we went with my brother and his girlfriend out to a haunted house. The house on a whole wasn't that scarey (i love haunted houses btw) but at the end when you walked out there were these guys lurking with chainsaws that chased after you. One came after me and i took off running, Peter went another direction...i reached out to grab ahold of Peter (thinking he was right next to me) and ended up with a fistful of a chainsaw guy...Peter found that especially hilarious

 
At 22 October, 2007, Anonymous susan said...

Cannibals??? Bwaahahaaaa

I used to love haunted houses. Now I just think about the crowds and the $65 and think meh... Yeah, I'm getting old. sigh...

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

That's why I don't go to those things, I would probably scream and run and hurt someone too. Sides, too many people there.

I do love to decorate for trick-or-treaters though, but I think my boy takes it a little too far with all the bloody stumps and body parts he stages in the garden. I hope you take pictures of your house on Halloween!

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Pamer said...

Pamer's and I are going as Zombies...so we'll be eating a few unsuspecting humans as well

The guy running from the vampire is hilarious...in my head I hear this high pitched girlie scream as he's bowling over people to get out. HAHAHA

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Bummer about the horror night. Sometime you'll have to check out Anoka, MN, which is the "self-proclaimed Halloween Capital of the World."

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Jen said...

I love, love, love Halloween! I look forward to it every year and always have. The last time I went trick-or-treating was when I was 12. I had moved to a new neighborhood (completely different state) and I took my little sister. I was dressed as a scare crow. The state I moved from had trick-or-treaters who went on up in age to about 17 years (maybe even 18). It was a HUGE deal and we all loved it!

Fast forward to new neighborhood/different state. . . I showed up at 12 in my own costume that I made and the first door I knocked on with my 6-year old sister, retorted to me, "aren't you a little too old to be trick or treating?" I went home in tears. Devastated. Nothing at all like the neighborhood I came from where we totally celebrated with the young and the old. . . .

Last year, this happened. Halloween is not the same anymore.

 
At 22 October, 2007, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I am a scardy cat when it comes to Halloween. I do watch scary movies or even go to haunted houses. I wish I liked them, but nope! :)

 
At 23 October, 2007, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

I've never been to a big amusement park halloween thing before, the one time I tried to go, they weren't even doing one that year and the park was closed when we got there lol

I have had similar experiences with the quality dropping. One time I went with a date to a place that was awesome and then went back a couple years later with some friends and they weren't even trying. Like we would come around a corner and 3 goblins would be putting cigarettes down and blowing the smoke out as they were like "Oh, boo"


good times lol

 
At 23 October, 2007, Blogger janet said...

cannibals. awesome.

and tasty.

 
At 23 October, 2007, Blogger Joel said...

I did the WWC and it's my first time!

 
At 23 October, 2007, Blogger Terri said...

I'm with Susan; I used to love them but am getting too old. I love the cannibal idea! hey have you and Hoop seen the 30 Days of Night movie yet? I haven't heard the reviews but I LOVE VAMPIRE movies! I think I'll go this w/e. Let me know if you do a review.

 
At 23 October, 2007, Blogger Christy said...

Yay! I love this time of year as well. Halloween is simply the best. I don't know if we'll get a chance to hit the haunts but I do know we plan on going pumpkin picking this weekend. =o)

 
At 23 October, 2007, Blogger Macoosh said...

ooooh i love haunted houses. they positively scare the crap out of me and i LOVE the thrill!!!

p.s. mentioned your blog today on my page; named you the favorite of my newly added blogs. :)

 

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