Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta

Hoop had a dream last night that I cheated on him with a Gangster...

He was tipped off when I bought a bunch of "How To Make Gang Signs" books.

We played the new Grand Theft Auto last night before bed. You don't think that had anything to do with it, do you? Because I was getting pretty into it. For awhile I was just walking around knocking grocery bags out of people's hands and then running. Then I spent twenty minutes looking for a hooker before Hoop pointed out that it was daylight and they were probably all sleeping. Oh man, I can't wait to see the search terms I get from that sentence.


I had serious issues when it came to driving in the game though. It turned out to be a lot more complicated than real life. I tried to scratch my butt while turning and ended up on the wrong side of a cliff (the bottom). Then I *accidentally beat up a bum and the police came to get me. I tried to surrender but they shot me dead in the street anyway. Evidently, as in real life, cops are dicks. *I was attempting to steal his metal drum filled with fire and his face connected with my hand. Dude should have gotten out of my way.

Speaking of bums... If someone were to interview a bunch of bums and then publish their work, would you read it? *Cough* Theoretically speaking, of course. When I asked Hoop the same question he didn't answer. But he did suggest a title. "Bum Juice." Bum. Juice. I don't know either. I think he might be sniffing glue at work. Our receptionist just nonchalantly sent out a page that we should avoid a certain highway because the police are having a shootout. I just looked it up and according to the news, the shootout was with a bum.

Whoa.

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29 Comments:

At 30 April, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

I'd definitely read a blog posting by homeless people.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

I have a "gang sign interpretation" poster in my home office which I got at Juvenile Gang Conference last year. We use it at parties to practice our talents.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger J said...

But did the real life bum have a metal drum full of fire? Because if he did, and the police tried to take it from him, they should have known that a shootout was inevitable. You'd think they'd teach that in policy academy.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger J said...

*police academy, that is.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Anonymous kcinnova said...

Real life imitating art, or art imitating real life?

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger R.E.H. said...

GTA games are actually fun! Normally I hate action games, but GTA has always kept me entertained. The new one is out? I didn't even know that... not for the PC though, is it?

Scary coincidents too... bums and GTA coming to real life in that shoot-out.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I usually look up gang signs on then internet. I would get a book, but the local library doesn't carry one. Weird, huh?

I would definitely read interviews with bums. That would be pretty interesting stuff.

Oh, and hookers work during the day too. Not that I would know anything about those things. ;-)

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Sparkling Red said...

I just recently read a book written by a guy who lived homeless for a year, in a squatter's community with a couple dozen bums and addicts. "Down to This: Squalor and Splendour in a Big-City Shantytown" by Shaughnessy Bishop-Stall. It was an really amazing, thought-provoking book. I recommend it highly.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger gr said...

kids these days!

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Edge said...

Very artistic how you brought that 360 on us all. What's a video game? Ohhhhh, ya like Galaga? I love Galaga.

~Jef

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

How does a bum get something with which to have a shootout? Never mind, I just remembered where you are!

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

I would read that book. Bum Juice is Urine right? That's what I think of anyway.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger LL said...

Bum Juice... I think it'd be a best seller.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

I absolutely love Grand Theft Auto, the problem is, I have epilepsy and the damned game gives me seizures! Nothing like getting the cheat code, plowing a tank all over town, blasting at the po-po then hopping on the highway and offing the slow moving traffic, only to wake up in a pool of your own vomit and piss, controller in hand, arms and legs akimbo...yeah, I had to give up the games, sigh.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Lefty said...

That was a really odd post, Tink. I think you'd better lay off the bum juice for awhile.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Maggie said...

ok a) how does a bum get a gun? and bullets?

b) you're like the prophetess of the bum world...

 
At 30 April, 2008, OpenID gawilli said...

Remember when they used to be called hobos?

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

ROTFLMAO - you kill me.

 
At 30 April, 2008, Blogger butterfly girl said...

I would read it but I'd need tissues. Lots of tissues.

Bug Juice, Bum Juice....I get it.

 
At 01 May, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

i used to read a blog written by a guy who had been homeless and was barely homed.

how did he have a computer? who knows.

it was interesting though

 
At 01 May, 2008, Blogger flutter said...

ooooooo yeah

I wish i was a little bit taller
I wish i was a baller....

 
At 01 May, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Your life's surreality quotient goes to 11.

 
At 01 May, 2008, Blogger Sassy Mama Bear said...

Yeah your dreams definitely top mine in the bizarre category. Grand Theft Auto, thinking my boys are going to want that.
So, Tink will I ever rate a place on your hallowed blogroll? I am feeling low today, so I need to whine, or I need WINE...you decide!
Hugs,

 
At 01 May, 2008, Anonymous catscratch diva said...

Seems like real life and dream life might just be intertwined a lil.

 
At 01 May, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

Bum Juice. Ewwwwie. But I'd read it :)

 
At 01 May, 2008, Blogger Freakazojd said...

Dude, I totally had something interesting to say, but my kid just woke up an hour early. Heh.
I'll be back. :)

 
At 02 May, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

OH, I feel like one of those people today, you know, friend of the bums. I would totally read a book by bums. It would be terribly interesting, if not eratic, and maybe a little uplifting? I donno. Feeling for the bums, today. I feel I'm just a mirror angle away from them - the whole turning the other cheek thing.

 
At 02 May, 2008, Blogger Heather said...

So YOUR the people that they are talking about who are going to spend their whole weekend playing Grand Theft Auto instead of going to the movies, making them predict the worst opening weekend ever for Iron man.... :-) (HeHe J/K)

 
At 05 May, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

Books on how to make gang signs. Ah yes, so the gangster you were bumping with...was it Vanilla Ice? Because I don't think 50 cent would date a woman who reads.

 

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