Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta
Hoop had a dream last night that I cheated on him with a Gangster...
He was tipped off when I bought a bunch of "How To Make Gang Signs" books.
We played the new Grand Theft Auto last night before bed. You don't think that had anything to do with it, do you? Because I was getting pretty into it. For awhile I was just walking around knocking grocery bags out of people's hands and then running. Then I spent twenty minutes looking for a hooker before Hoop pointed out that it was daylight and they were probably all sleeping. Oh man, I can't wait to see the search terms I get from that sentence.
I had serious issues when it came to driving in the game though. It turned out to be a lot more complicated than real life. I tried to scratch my butt while turning and ended up on the wrong side of a cliff (the bottom). Then I *accidentally beat up a bum and the police came to get me. I tried to surrender but they shot me dead in the street anyway. Evidently, as in real life, cops are dicks. *I was attempting to steal his metal drum filled with fire and his face connected with my hand. Dude should have gotten out of my way.
Speaking of bums... If someone were to interview a bunch of bums and then publish their work, would you read it? *Cough* Theoretically speaking, of course. When I asked Hoop the same question he didn't answer. But he did suggest a title. "Bum Juice." Bum. Juice. I don't know either. I think he might be sniffing glue at work. Our receptionist just nonchalantly sent out a page that we should avoid a certain highway because the police are having a shootout. I just looked it up and according to the news, the shootout was with a bum.
Whoa.
Labels: Stupidity, Wit and Quips
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29 comments
29 Comments:
I'd definitely read a blog posting by homeless people.
I have a "gang sign interpretation" poster in my home office which I got at Juvenile Gang Conference last year. We use it at parties to practice our talents.
But did the real life bum have a metal drum full of fire? Because if he did, and the police tried to take it from him, they should have known that a shootout was inevitable. You'd think they'd teach that in policy academy.
*police academy, that is.
Real life imitating art, or art imitating real life?
GTA games are actually fun! Normally I hate action games, but GTA has always kept me entertained. The new one is out? I didn't even know that... not for the PC though, is it?
Scary coincidents too... bums and GTA coming to real life in that shoot-out.
I usually look up gang signs on then internet. I would get a book, but the local library doesn't carry one. Weird, huh?
I would definitely read interviews with bums. That would be pretty interesting stuff.
Oh, and hookers work during the day too. Not that I would know anything about those things. ;-)
I just recently read a book written by a guy who lived homeless for a year, in a squatter's community with a couple dozen bums and addicts. "Down to This: Squalor and Splendour in a Big-City Shantytown" by Shaughnessy Bishop-Stall. It was an really amazing, thought-provoking book. I recommend it highly.
kids these days!
Very artistic how you brought that 360 on us all. What's a video game? Ohhhhh, ya like Galaga? I love Galaga.
~Jef
How does a bum get something with which to have a shootout? Never mind, I just remembered where you are!
I would read that book. Bum Juice is Urine right? That's what I think of anyway.
Bum Juice... I think it'd be a best seller.
I absolutely love Grand Theft Auto, the problem is, I have epilepsy and the damned game gives me seizures! Nothing like getting the cheat code, plowing a tank all over town, blasting at the po-po then hopping on the highway and offing the slow moving traffic, only to wake up in a pool of your own vomit and piss, controller in hand, arms and legs akimbo...yeah, I had to give up the games, sigh.
That was a really odd post, Tink. I think you'd better lay off the bum juice for awhile.
ok a) how does a bum get a gun? and bullets?
b) you're like the prophetess of the bum world...
Remember when they used to be called hobos?
ROTFLMAO - you kill me.
I would read it but I'd need tissues. Lots of tissues.
Bug Juice, Bum Juice....I get it.
i used to read a blog written by a guy who had been homeless and was barely homed.
how did he have a computer? who knows.
it was interesting though
ooooooo yeah
I wish i was a little bit taller
I wish i was a baller....
Your life's surreality quotient goes to 11.
Yeah your dreams definitely top mine in the bizarre category. Grand Theft Auto, thinking my boys are going to want that.
So, Tink will I ever rate a place on your hallowed blogroll? I am feeling low today, so I need to whine, or I need WINE...you decide!
Hugs,
Seems like real life and dream life might just be intertwined a lil.
Bum Juice. Ewwwwie. But I'd read it :)
Dude, I totally had something interesting to say, but my kid just woke up an hour early. Heh.
I'll be back. :)
OH, I feel like one of those people today, you know, friend of the bums. I would totally read a book by bums. It would be terribly interesting, if not eratic, and maybe a little uplifting? I donno. Feeling for the bums, today. I feel I'm just a mirror angle away from them - the whole turning the other cheek thing.
So YOUR the people that they are talking about who are going to spend their whole weekend playing Grand Theft Auto instead of going to the movies, making them predict the worst opening weekend ever for Iron man.... :-) (HeHe J/K)
Books on how to make gang signs. Ah yes, so the gangster you were bumping with...was it Vanilla Ice? Because I don't think 50 cent would date a woman who reads.
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