Monday, April 14, 2008

T1ts & A55

Thanks to all who listened to Hoop bitch below about his horrible coworker.

Because if he mentioned her one more time to me, I was going to scream.

Speaking of Ginger, apparently she called out with Infantigo this morning. As in, that skin rash that generally only effects two through six year olds. Yeah, I think she's sleeping with her doctor.

I opened up my email box this morning to a bunch of interesting spam. By "interesting" I mean bizarre. How do spamers come up with this stuff? Do they have computer programs that generate random garbage? You'd think they would at least be equipped with spellcheck. I can understand the substitution of certain words, like "b@@bies" and "pen1s". But what's up with all the general grammatical errors? "Millionss of people accross the world have already tested THIS and ARE making their girlfriendds feel brand new sexual ssensations!
YOU are the best in bed, aren't you?" Compliments from a stutterer perhaps?

Others are just pure nonsical. "There were four furnaces here, and they were all between plaisance and the coupee. What do you to thaw!" Wha? "A hedgehog to a lamb. If you had consulted me i should are like oil and wick exist, so long the light." Whatever you say, dude. Why don't they fill their emails with more interesting substance, like stories? They could even stuff them with subliminal messaging, or leave them with cliffhangers. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful business woman who had it all. But she was still unhappy. So she paid an under ground witch doctor to create a spell to..." Please click on link below to finish story.

LINK

Hoop and I had a pretty eventful weekend.

Friday night we went touring the area and got my SUV stuck in a ditch. I would like to add that Hoop was driving. I have no ideas of grandeur when it comes to my vehicle. I KNOW it's a piece of shit. After a half an hour of pushing, turning, and rocking the vehicle we resorted to destruction of public property. In short, I busted up an old barrier fence so I could lay down a track for my car to drive on. It didn't work. So much for being clever. Fed up and muddy, we decided to ask the local fishermen for help. They all declined. We must have looked pretty pathetic though, because one came back. With our powers combined... we got the stupid vehicle out.

Saturday afternoon we went to the county fair. We weren't expecting much, but it ended up being the best fair ever. There were sea lions there. Holy shit, SEA LIONS! They were right next to the Frisbee-catching dogs and the live butterfly exhibit. Afterward, we stopped by a nature park near our house we'd never noticed before. Evidently, we need to start being more observant. This park featured a sulfur spring, a beautiful view of the river, and tree houses. If it were better maintained, we might have even considered it for our ceremony location. A dilapidated lodge probably isn't the best backdrop for a wedding though.

Saturday night, Hoop and I drank beer and played with polymer clay. There have always been things I just assumed I'd be good at. Oddly, photography was never one of them. But for some strange (and obviously deluded) reason, I always believed I'd be a wiz with clay. And I am, if anyone is looking for a bunch of clay snakes or squiggles. I also make a mean circle. Sunday, Hoop and did yard work all day. For me, that constituted as yanking all the vines that have taken over our surrounding bushes and trees. By the time I was done, I had a four foot high pile and our shrubs looked rather naked. I think I scared one of the neighborhood kids on my way to the end of the driveway. Wrapped in vines, I looked like a large walking plant with arms.

How was your weekend?

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35 Comments:

At 14 April, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

"I looked like a large walking plant with arms."

should be...

"I looked like a large walking plant with weird elbowed arms."

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Yes, I clicked that.

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

You are really good with subliminal messaging... wait did you say tree houses?!!

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Hilary said...

No I didn't click it.. I saw the link to which it led in Google reader first. ;)

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger butterfly girl said...

And the mystery is solved, you are so clever.

You should have linked to the cat meat for sale site. That would have been a real water cooler conversation!

Will you have poison ivy tomorrow?

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Gordo said...

Any day that you can scare the neighbourhood kids is a good day.

I clicked it, but from Google Reader before I saw the context of the link. LOL

 
At 14 April, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

I'm proud to say, I didn't click. But that is because I learned my lesson the last time you put a temptation in our way. (Do NOT push that red button!!)
I think a walking plant would be a good Halloween decoration!
And SuperDad made Snake Master a spy platform (instead of a tree house)on Saturday, because that's we roll.
Oh, and my 2 youngest? Their initials are T and A. I can't wait until they figure THAT out, LOL

 
At 14 April, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

I meant Halloween COSTUME!!

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I clicked the link. I can resist anything but temptation.

Sea Lions at a county fair? I guess that's a Florida thing, but very cool.

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Sparkling Red said...

My weekend was seeming pretty good, until I heard that your weekend involved SEA LIONS, and now my weekend seems kind of lame by comparison.

*wistfully dreaming of sea lions*

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Stupid spammers, throwing in weird misspellings to mess up junk mail filters. GRRRRR.

Sounds like a fun and productive weekend!

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Sassy Mama Bear said...

Infantigo - do you think she meant impetigo? Which can effect older people too. Seriously she is a whack job that needs a boot in the arse out the door.

Funny when Allen and I were young and saving for our wedding, I remember many a night at home playing...usually Monopoly, but never with polymer clay?

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Moi said...

I clicked the link, but only because I saw the address where it went. Honest.

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Jen said...

I would've been the brave kid that saved you from being swallowed by the walking vines.






P.S. Impetigo is HIGHLY contagious. Don't touch Ginger. As if.

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Tequila Mockingbird said...

playing with clay sounds like good times. especially while drunk. might not be as romantic as in the movie ghost, but i bet it would be lots more fun.

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

Yeah, I clicked, I am such a doofus!

What no photos of the lodge and tree houses?

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

You should have put a picture of what's her face from the exorcist on that link.

Or a video to two girls one cup.

That would have been WAY better.

 
At 14 April, 2008, Anonymous catscratch diva said...

Ok, I'm such a sucker, I clickied.

I love a country fair, the lemonade fresh squeezed by a toothless carnie is the bestest!

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I am as good with clay are you are, Tink! :)

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

I didn't click...I figured Jay would & he could tell me about it. Getting married in a tree house would be neato!

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger R.E.H. said...

It's funny about all those spam e-mails. I stopped reading them a long time ago... I was tired of being told I needed Viagra, or penis enlargement... hey - stop messing with my ego!

For some reason, though - after reading your post, I can't stop thinking about boobs and penises... what's up with that? ;)

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Pamer said...

hee hee i get "Infantigo" every
time i have to deal with our friends kids...yep!!! so annoying i makes me itch.

Dilapidated lodge is one thing...but smelly rotten-egg sulphur spring should have tipped you off that it probably wouldn't be a good place for a wedding

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

"...a large walking plant with arms." now THAT would make a GREAT picture!

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger LL said...

Erm... a sulfur spring?

 
At 14 April, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

I totally love clay. I took pottery, but I never got to the semester where I learned to throw on the wheel. My Mom took it though, she did alright!

There is something very therapeutic about working with cold wet clay... I love it.

I have been working on my painting though lately, and I am doing a bit better. I'll get warmed up... Right now I'm high on fumes from the Paint Thinner. I better go to bed. :)

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger flutter said...

You kill me

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

i didn't click. resistance is not futile.

(but i might click later)

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

The county fair is an awesome way to spend a day!! I am so jealous

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger gr said...

see, now you know:
clay work and pottery=rocket science=brain surgery

I sure you got a picture of yourself as the viney monster!

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

I would like photo proof of these clay squiggles perhaps with permanent marker faces drawn on. =o)

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger Johnny Smoke said...

How does one get stuck "touring the area"?

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger Candy said...

In my defense, the "link" showed up in my reader first and so yes, ashamedly, I did click that. But it was Google's fault, I swear it.

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Yay! I came by and have finished my WWC before Tink :O

 
At 15 April, 2008, OpenID bigbouquet said...

Dilapidated lodge? Even if it were transformed, with yards and yards of fabulous, floaty tulle (only $2/yard) and ribbons and twinkly lights?

 
At 15 April, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

I'm still giggling at the thought of you walkikng down the driveway as the ivy monster. Ha ha ha

 

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