Friday, April 04, 2008

Mahalo March

March Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Tuesday. WWC!
2. The most popular hour being 3pm.
3. The top referrers were Karen and Reb.
4. The most used search term was, "butt flu."
5. My favorite search terms were "Cmon tink, you know I was just kidding," and "pus filled neck wound."
6. The highest hit post (301) was on March 25th, the first day back from our

31 Quirks For 31 Days:
1. I have old lady hands.
2. That's why I don't wear more rings.
3. Although I own a whole jewelry box full. I pull them out and admire them some weekends. But after that, back into the box they go.
4. When I was small, my friend and I used to throw crab apples at his uncle's trailer...
5. ...who was autistic.
6. We didn't know that back then. All we knew was that he was a little odd.
7. He couldn't do anything for himself, but he could tell you every song and album name of any artist you mentioned...
8. ...and he had a wicked album collection.
9. I only chew crunchy things on the left side of my mouth.
10. I still collect stickers.
11. When no one is in the office, I walk around and fantasize about all the things I could steal.
12. But I never do.
13. I always tip, even when the service sucks.
14. I used to wish the same wish on ever falling star, tossed coin, and birthday candle. I wonder sometimes if that's why it came true.
15. When I was 18 I worked in a shoe store. They required me to wear nice clothes that I couldn't afford. So on the days I worked alone, I used to wear the new shoes around the store and put them back in the box before I went home.
16. My stoner Dad used to end every conversation with the words, "Peace, love, dove."
17. It drove me fucking crazy.
18. I still wonder why my first Step Dad never loved me.
19. I prefer the taste of coffee out of Styrofoam cups.
20. But I try to go green every where else.
21. Too bad most eco-friendly products suck.
22. When I was in the 9th grade I wrote the poem I wanted on my grave.
23. "Here lies a girl of love and light. God called to her and she took flight." Gag.
24. I've since changed my mind. I'd much rather it read:
25. "What are you looking at?!"
26. Maybe they could even include a picture of me on the tomb with eyes that follow people around.
27. One isn't the loneliest number...
28. Zero is. That poor guy doesn't even know HIMSELF.
29. I have so few friends my own age, I'm not sure how people my age are supposed to act.
30. I love objects with bird and fish patterns on them.
31. Yet I own neither.
*32. I have a hard time telling the taste of apples and pears apart.

P.S. One of the girls I was subbing for came back today! Hopefully this means I'll have time to work on Twisted Tink again. Updates to come.

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!



At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

How on earth can you have old lady hands at your young age?

#23 is so sweet!

#32 is kind of strange.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Sparkling Red said...

#9: You are my chew-twin! I only chew on the right side of my mouth. Put us together and who knows what alchemy could result?

The reason I'm not ambichewous is that I only had molars on the right side of my jaw until my adult teeth came in. My mother's cousin had three sets of teeth instead of two. I think he got my missing teeth.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm - do you think the "cmon tink..." searcher was hoping to be featured in this very fashion?

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

Your new grave idea is brilliant! I'm a little angry I didn't think of it first.
I have a whole jewelry box full of rings I never wear as well. My fingers are just too short and stubby. Why draw attention, right?

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I love the grave idea. I want mine to yell at anyone that gets too close. "Hey, buddy! Back off a bit!" Or maybe "You're in my light!" Or maybe just a car alarm that goes off if someone gets too close.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Maggie said...

styrofoam cups? ew.

stickers? like unicorns and hearts stickers? or have you matured to dicks and naked bodies?

apples and pears so don't taste the same. you need to chew with your whole mouth so you can tell the difference!

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

How could anyone not love you? I have old lady hands too, and I like the first poem because it makes me laugh.

Apples and pears - did you know there is a pie recipe from the 40's that uses Ritz crackers instead of apples and I swear to you it tastes just like apple pie. Even the texture. It's kinda creepy. I'm sure someone came up with it during the depression or during the war.

Happy weekend.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Sassy Mama Bear said...

The 31 quirks were hilarious to read, and I saw myself in some of them.
I hate coffee in styrofoam thugh, of course, as a child I used to eat styrofoam as my parents will tell anyone...I ate a cooler on them once.
I like the poem you wrote for your grave...I'm a sap though.
Sassy Mama Bear Hugs,
have a great weekend.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger meno said...

The best of these is the poem for your grave.
I used to know a woman who was very free with her affections. I suggested that her grave should say "At Last She Sleeps Alone."

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Good call on the tombstone thing!

At 04 April, 2008, Anonymous emily said...

The most used search term was, "butt flu."

Now, does this mean that more than one - dare I say NUMEROUS - people have googled that phrase in the past 30 days and happened upon your blog? How is that even possible???

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger gr said...

have a great weekend Tink, you've made us laugh and thank you

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Tory said...

Hi Tink! Very funny usual. I can really relate to some of them myself. My favorite saying for a tombstone would be, 'I told you I was sick!' That would suit me well.
Have a great weekend girl.
Take care

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Mignon said...

#14 me too. Still do - I feel like I'm loading up the Wish Pool with my wish, like those big jars where you put in your business card for a free lunch. Someday Wish Lady will pick mine, just because there are so many in there.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Mike said...


When I get in the shower, I can only open my left eye.

If I ever lose my left eye, I'll have to shower blind.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Freakazojd said...

You always tip even when the service sucks, eh? Do you always tip the same? ;)
My inlaws are returning home soon after a month in your neck of the woods. They've had great weather and have called us from the golf course, the patio at a restaurant and poolside. The bums.
Have a great weekend!

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger Pamer said...

i really like the taste of coffee out of a styrofoam cup too, weird!!!...sadly it's hard to even find them anymore...

Love...Peace...and chicken grease

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger flutter said...

Oh, tink.

At 04 April, 2008, Blogger LL said...

His uncle's trailer was autistic? Now that's something I'd have never thought of... ;)

Everyday I learn a little something about you, don't I Tinkie...

As for the Twisted Tink... IT'S ABOUT TIME! :P

At 05 April, 2008, Blogger R.E.H. said...

I have never heard of butt flu... yet it is the most popular search term of the month? I must google this, and see...

What was that wish you wished for which came true? I'm curious like that! ;)

At 05 April, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

Won't your jaw muscles be uneven?

At 05 April, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

I'm glad you got your wish, Tink. Whenever I drink out of styrofoam I can't resist biting the rim.

Your first stepdad seriously missed out.

At 05 April, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I love love love the following eyes on the grave idea. That would rock!

At 06 April, 2008, Blogger HAR said...

I always tip when the service sucks too. Were you a waitress? I was and I sucked at it.

At 06 April, 2008, Blogger mrspao said...

I think we need to see these old lady hands of yours. They can't be as odd looking as the girl I sat next to at school as her skin flaked off. I was forced to sit next to her by sadist (not because her hands were flaky) teachers because my surname was Woods and hers was Forest.

At 06 April, 2008, Blogger Betty said...

I have old lady hands, too. But, then, I AM an old lady. lol

Re tips: I always leave tips, too, but if I get bad service, my tip will be one penny. Heaven forbid the server should think I just forgot.

At 07 April, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

29. I have so few friends my own age, I'm not sure how people my age are supposed to act.

You act like you and we'll be fine I swear! :)

What was the *asterick for? Did I miss something?

At 07 April, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

Dude, I'm one of your top referrers? Really? Apparently my 5 stalkers are following me around! What I lack in numbers I make up for with loyalty!

At 07 April, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

I can relate to #29...LOL!

At 07 April, 2008, Blogger Tequila Mockingbird said...

OMFG i collected stickers. but i'm a filthy quitter.. sigh, i still have them though!

At 08 April, 2008, Anonymous catscratch diva said...

I tip everybody. My sis was a waitress and they get the shitty end of the stick every time.

I dig up on your new grave saying!

At 08 April, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

LOL!!!!LOL!!!! I love to read quirks!

I don't like "red delicious" apples. To me they are a pear. I don't like the texture of pears. My DH's gramma' used to make apple pie and she also used pears.

I'm a granny smith apple kinda' gal. And, Gala's and pink ladies. I mean? I need some actual flavor there.

(FYI, Granny Smith's make an excellent pie they get sweet and loose some of the sour in the baking)

Happy Whatever Day!


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