Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Beer Bunny

You guys crack me up with all your compliments. Neutrogena ads indeed. Ha! I should probably mention that I own Photoshop, and use it liberally. I actually considered posting the unedited picture for you... But then the crazy wore off. You'll just have to imagine the red, puffy, blotchy face that came after a half hour of cussing and crying on Sunday afternoon. Obviously NOT the same face you see posted below. But thank you kindly anyway. I love you even though you're a bunch of ass kissers.

Oh, and for those who missed my answer in Tuesday's comments:

The "I Love My Hooker" sticker is one of the originals, believe it or not. It actually says, "I Love My Hooker Header", but I covered "Header" with magnets that say "unfortunate for him" some years ago. Hooker Headers sells racing equipment, so I can only assume the sticker was given to me by my Mom's second husband (an avid racing fan). Which could be kind of disturbing. Anyhoop, you can still find them on Ebay if you're interested.

I had a dream last night that the muscle in my left arm separated from the bone, causing it to look like I had a gigantic fleshy wing. Instead of fixing it, the doctors told me to start practicing how I posed my arm so it wouldn't show in Hoop's and my wedding photos. I remember being kind of disappointed that the wing didn't grant me the power to fly. I think this wedding is seriously fucking with my head guys. Although thankfully I'm not alone. Hoop had a dream that I ran away from home, never to be seen again.

We're heading to Tennessee after work tomorrow for the Easter Holiday. We went as far as getting Monday off, servicing Hoop's car, and washing all the clothes before we realized we hadn't actually told Hoop's Dad that we were coming. That could have been interesting. Drive eleven hours just to find out that no one is home. I think I might have kept going. I hear Canada is nice. By the way, I won't be blogging Monday. I'll be too busy driving the eleven hours back. One of you homebloys wouldn't happen to have a private jet, would you?

No? Just checking.

I heard of a strange Easter custom the other day. According to one of the local rednecks, a bunch of people freeze cans of beer the night before and then hide them like eggs for all the adults to find. You get to drink the ones you uncover. I tried to talk Hoop into doing it, but he didn't seem convinced. Apparently he doesn't believe in adopting local customs. So what about you? Does your family do anything out of the ordinary for the holidays? It doesn't have to be this holiday. I'm just looking for a few good traditions.



At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Hiding beer? And, hunting for it? That is FANTASTIC!!!

I think this year, after we put the kids to bed? Me and DH are gonna' hunt for beer around the house.

Then we can drink them get giddy and, never mind.

(I wonder if Plastic Easter eggs will hold/contain a shot of liquor? This must be investigated...)

Have a great trip! Miss ya' already!

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger gary rith said...

Odd holiday traditions?
My republican, old-fashioned parents come to our house for Thanksgiving every year. I am a far-left vegan freak, and I delight in surprising them with unusual Thanksgiving dishes. Veggie lasagne last year, wild mushroom ravioli, black bean chili with soy etc etc etc...
I make a damn good vegan apple pie and cranberry-apple crisp for dessert though. I am an American after all.
Travel safely Tink!

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

Canada is nice. Should you decide to keep going, let me know. I'll make up the spare bedroom, and introduce you to REAL BEER.

Also, you will have wings. In about 40 years. It will happen.

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

how often should i apply this "photoshop" lotion you mentioned? will it work on my balls?

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm, I bet it'd be fun to hang out with MamaTulip and Dave for the holiday. ;)

At 20 March, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it sure isn't frozen beer, but we get together with a whole bunch of families and have a pot luck picnic at a local park. Been doing it for longer than I've been part of the family and that's going on 8 years now.

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Dana said...

We throw rae eggs at the neighbors' houses ... does that count?? Just kidding. You don't know where I live, right??

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I think the hiding beer is a great idea. Where I'm from people would do it for the kids though. LOL

Have fun on your trip. Drive carefully.

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Why yes, I have a private jet! It's parked right next to my Humvee, my hovercraft, my mansion and my yacht. See? There's my manny standing right beside it, waving to you.

*snort* Have a good long weekend. :)

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger LL said...

Frozen beer... I am in awe.

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Mouse said...

After spending a collective 7 years in the South.. nothing surprises me anymore. As for the shots in the eggs.. might I suggest jell-o shots? Have a good time in TN (if that's at all possible..)

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

The thing that concerns me with hiding beer is not being able to find it. Then what do you do? I would panic.

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Jen said...

My family used to spend Easter with good family friends and their kids as we were all around the same age. I even named my first teddy bear ever after my friend, "Bo Bo" (I told his bride this on their rehearsal dinner party night and she gave me a dirty look and walked away from me while I stood there confused and blinking...Had I offended her? Which is not the point of my response).

Anyhow, us 6 kids would each get one dozen eggs to die as we saw fit. The adults would hide the 72 eggs throughout their house and we were let loose to find 'em.

And NEVER find all them we did! Their housekeeper would locate the lost eggs weeks, even months, later when the smell of rotting one's would alert the delicate nose.

I loved those weekends. Sometimes I wish we were still young and dumb.

Anyhow, happy bunny day! Travel safe!

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

11 hours in the car, whoa... I just can't get past that part.

I love the idea of hiding beer - that's hilarious. We don't do anything out of the ordinary on any holiday, but now I'm thinking maybe we should. Just so I'd have a cool answer to questions like this.

have fun & watch out for all those drivers who went to easter parties where they hid beer instead of eggs!


At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Spamboy said...

Besides my mom having bypass surgery every year, our holidays typically involve bringing up the times when my parents almost divorced. One Christmas it was my dad's fault:

At 20 March, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have never heard of frozen beer but I am in awe of photoshop skills.

I am just now learning moving the gray, black and white sliders. Previously all pictures have been as I shot them. That stone and glass? Exactly as I took it.

I am a total editing dunce.

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Sparkling Red said...

Passover is the Jewish holiday closest to Easter. It commemorates the liberation of Jewish slaves from their Egyptian masters a couple thousand years ago.

We're supposed to remember how bad things were for our ancestors as slaves - feel their pain and cry tears of misery for them. This is accomplished by eating "bitter herbs", which translates into horseradish root so strong that it could blow the top of your skull open.

We usually have a family gathering at which all the males compete to see who can man up and eat the biggest piece of horseradish. There's a lot of choking, tears, whooping, and red faces. Isn't that a nice family tradition?

At 20 March, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

Uh, no strange traditions here....we just gorge on chocolate bunnies all day, then have a nice ham dinner.

You are more than welcome to continue on to Canada. Just think if you stay to the East you will see snow! Actually you will see dirty snow and slush if you come West, so either way.

Have a safe trip, Happy Easter.

At 21 March, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon your blog about 8 months ago and have stuck with it since then. Always something to lighten my day around here.

What if instead of hiding frozen beers, you hide jello shots in plastic eggs?


At 21 March, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

hiding frozen beers? awesome!

At 21 March, 2008, Blogger captain corky said...

"I had a dream last night that the muscle in my left arm separated from the bone, causing it to look like I had a gigantic fleshy wing."

I demand that you tell me what drugs you take before you go to sleep! I WANT SOME!!!

At 21 March, 2008, Blogger R.E.H. said...

Eeaster is celebrated a little differently in Sweden... where it is much like Halloween. The kids go out dressed up as witches, handing out little envelopes with pictures they've drawn (or colored), and get bags full of candies.

Apart from that - it's all about eating a ton of eggs of course!

At 21 March, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

Hmmm traditions? No, not really. Other than my new tradition of drinking heavily at family gatherings so I no longer get bothered by the behavior of the hubsters horrid little niece and nephews. In fact I will be bringing a spare bottle of wine on Sunday just to make sure we don't run out.

At 21 March, 2008, Blogger CRUSTY MOM-E said...

the beer Idea sounds awesome.
Especially up here since it's so damn cold!
Snow again!
Safe travels to Tennessee this weekend! Beautiful place, I love the mountains!

Always always,
aka Crusty~

At 21 March, 2008, Blogger CRUSTY MOM-E said...

P.S. Plastic eggs make for great jello shot containers..just stick them in the freezer for a bit in the egg carton you used to store the real colored eggs before the easter bunny came and hid them. :)


At 21 March, 2008, Blogger J said...

I don't know if this counts as out of the ordinary, but we always get together with the extended family at a park and have an easter egg hunt. Just the plastic eggs with a slip of paper inside indicating the prize (25 cents, 50 cents, etc.) We always put a few "adult" eggs out (better hidden, of course). Always great with you have a 7 year old finding the egg with the slip of paper that says "Jack Daniels".

At 21 March, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

Mostly we have the usual traditions. For Vietnamese New Year (almost exactly like Chinese NY except with crazy people) there's a twiggy tree with red envelopes hanging from the branches...these are full of money & unmarried family members pick them randomly.

Drive safe, Tink, and Happy Easter!


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