Monday, March 03, 2008

Paper Cups

Hoop crashed out at seven o'clock on Saturday night, leaving me to my boredom and a six pack of Bacardis. Before I drank, I tried to fight the monotony with origami. I'll admit, I had dreams of grandeur. Without having ever made so much as a paper fan, I was already visualizing the swans and tulips I was going to create. I was going to be a natural. Hoop was going to wake up in the morning to a house full of elegant paper art and exclaim that I was a genius.

After two hours, my excitement had waned, leaving me with a colorful pile of paper balls. Paper cups seemed to be the only thing I was capable of making. Although to be fair, I made a paper piano too, but it looked more like a bench than anything. It was as I was cleaning up the cups that I started to wonder if the things could actually hold water. Hey, if the end of the world ever comes, it might be nice to have someone in your party that can make a usable cup...

...or boat. In which case, I am NOT your chick. Sorry.

Any guesses what I filled my cup with? Bacardi. Then I thought, "Well, I shouldn't waste the rest of the bottle." I'm sure this is how all alcoholics begin, with origami cups. So I took my six pack into the computer room and I closed the door. It was around two in the morning that I started to wonder if I was drunk. The six pack was gone and I had filled my IPod with (*now questionable) music. I decided I would test my theory by blogging.

Unfortunately I forgot to post it, thus proving that I was probably pretty toasted. I opened my Blogger dashboard this morning, saw the post and thought, "Oh yeahhhhh. THAT'S what I did on Saturday night!" It was kind of fortunate too I guess. Not because I'm not going to give it to you, but because it really needed an introduction. So... Ta-dah. Here is your introduction. Now enjoy the stupid show:

I thik maybe I'm drunk. Just a little bit. Am still very witty though. I cracked myself up just a moment ago. Hey, I sound like Bridget Jones! Blah, blah, blah. I have a cute British accent. Blah, blah, blah. Can't talk in complete sentences. What the hell is up with that? I wanted to go through her diary with a red pen. If there is anyone who needs an editor for her own private thoughts, it's that broad. Although I probably need a sensor for mine. Someone to rate things before I say them. "Sorry, I can't let that one out. It's an 'R' and we're clearly in a 'PG13' environment. I'll just file that away until tonight. What about this? It involves puppies. Nice, safe, puppies. There you go." Wow. I am so self entertaining. I wonder what Hoop is dreaming about. Maybe I should go tickle his toes and find out? Peace out Homebloys.

*On a separate note, one of the songs I downloaded on Saturday night is titled, "Music is my hot, hot sex." I'm afraid to listen to it.

How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?

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32 Comments:

At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

You're cute and witty even when you're drunk! :)

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

I'm Asian so making origami must be in my DNA...I can do cranes, swans, frogs, little pants...but the other part of me is Swedish & always thinks--WTF is that for? So I don't do it. And here you've figured out how to make shot cups! That's useful!!!

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Jen said...

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!

Nicely done, Tinkerella.


P.S. I can no do origami either. I've tried and tried - maybe it might work out if I used a person to show me instead of reading a book?

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger g-man said...

Do you have any unexplained bruises? If so then I do believe you were drunk. Sounds like you should have one or two. (Or at least a paper cut or two?:)

I'll have to agree with Chelle's comment, you sound like a cute drunk.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Dang, I'd hate to see your itunes bill. ;)

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

"self entertaining" That is an unbeatable quality, girly. ;)

heehee...let us know how that hot,hot sex song turns out.

lovins,
fiwa

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Hilary said...

At first glance it sounded like you had a wonderful night.. then I realized I'd misread "origami"...

At least there was Bacardi. ;)

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

I find myself sleep and/or drunk blogging myself. That's why I had to make the "save rule" if I'm under the influence...

Even, if I 'think' I'm all level and everything.

As is my chemistry, I have to take something to help me shut my mind up and fall asleep. But, it takes awhile to kick in. So, I've discovered that it often causes me to forget the last 30-60 minutes of the evening prior -- LOL!

Which is typically, when I've ended up in here (or somewhere in internet world) while waiting out the DH snore factor. And, then I don't remember being here the next day! LOL!

But, that's when I mix the wine "with" the sleep aid.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Edge said...

I like it when my wife gets drunk. I think I'll get her drunk tonight.

~Jef

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I think we should all do some drunk blogging. That would be fun. I don't think my grammar and spelling would get any worse when I'm drunk. I mean, it can't POSSIBLY get worse, can it?

Or better yet drunk VLOGGING! Yeah! Why didn't you get out the camera and do some drunk vlogging. I bet that would have been a classic. ;-)

I would rather read your diary than Bridget Jones. I bet yours is a lot more fun and interesting.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger meno said...

like jay said, we need NaDruBloNi.

(National Crunken Blogging Night.)

I am MUCH wittier when drunk, i can just tell.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Betty said...

My weekend wasn't as fun as yours, apparently.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger R.E.H. said...

So... did the origami cups hold the liqour?

You seem to hold it pretty well, though... no obvious drunken statements in that writing, except the rather incoherent ramblings about Bridget Jones... which was a ton of fun.

And, I'm with Jay on the drunk Vlogging stuff! How fun would that be?

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Pamer said...

"Music is my Hot Hot sex" is a good sone...Brazilian group...and it's from the iPod Touch commercials. At least here in Canada...very catchy song

I love Drunk Bloggin...

I've had some long, meaningful conversations with Mr Bacardi..not with anyone else...just me and Barcardi solving the world's problems. most end with me praying to the porcelain gods and cursing Barcardi's name through clenched teeth

 
At 03 March, 2008, Anonymous susan said...

Awww...you're so cute and witty when you're drunk!

Next weekend use Jay's idea to do some Drunk Vlogging, now THAT would be fun!

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

You know you're a hardcore blogger when you blog drunk and it's actually entertaining.

I went to a sex show this weekend. But I wasn't drunk.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

that's what all the hot chicks do when they're drunk, they fail at origami.

see i called you a hot chick, but also a failure. it's part of my outlaw mystique

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger flutter said...

music is my hot hot sex sounds itchy, just sayin'.

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Alli said...

We need more tipsy tink blogs!! That was hysterical. But you are funny & entertaining when you are sober. YOu are sober when you post most of the time, right? :)

Yah, "Music is my hot, hot sex" is an interesting song....catchy though, isn't it?

 
At 03 March, 2008, Blogger Mamalujo said...

Please go read my latest post, and comment. If you have it inyour capabilities to send other bloggers that you and I have had a common relationship with, please send them as well. I know this is so heavy, and all I can do is apologize for laying it on you, and asking you to understand why I have to ask it of you.

Thank you.

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger janet said...

wow. just wow.

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

It sounds like you had a pretty rockin Saturday night after all lol

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger captain corky said...

I went and saw Juno and it was awesome! Then we rented Superbad and that was funny as shit. Then my wife went to bed and I drank a couple of beers and pretty much stared at my computer for half the night. But instead of much blogging, I might have looked at a little porn. ;)

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger butterfly girl said...

Gettin' drunk by your lonesome. That's no fun!!

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger Pendullum said...

Now you are a very very serious blogger to even think of blogging while drunk...
Now...
You have to post that song...

 
At 04 March, 2008, Anonymous a. beaverhausen said...

I'm betting if we listened to the rest of Saturday's music choices our ears would melt away.

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

pendullum beat me too it. I too would like for you to "post" that hot sex song. Wait, it isn't you havin' hot sex, is it?

Cuz' that might be a little too personal. [wink]

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

This one is just cuz' I have a really busy day [that I am obviously avoiding] as the kids have both returned to school --

I NOW have to get all the other errands, and crap done all in like one day.

And, I wanted my 3rd comment in here in case I don't make it back before your next blog.

Happy Tuesday "Tinkinator!" [CRAP! It's Tuesday, already?, Well, hope it's a happy one!]

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

I wish I knew how to make shot glasses. I can only make useless cranes and blow up boxes. You've got the real skills.

Music is my Hot Hot Sex is on my ipod. Love that song. It was on the Ipod touch commercial.

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

I don't know that I could type when I'm drunk. The room is too tippy. And I don't have very good balance. Hmmm, maybe I should shoot for drunk'n blogging though. Could be interesting. Or at least fun trying right?

 
At 04 March, 2008, Blogger Tempered Woman said...

I feel a whole new meme coming on- pure genius this inspiration. Because that $%i& was funny! I probably shouldn't encourage you I know but I think it would be pretty hysterical to require everyone to attempt oragami and drunk blogging. Hell I don't even need the paper cups as an excuse for this one!

 
At 04 March, 2008, Anonymous Chatty said...

You had me on the floor with this one, Tink!

In addition to which, I, too, have a deep-seated desire to do origami. I can make that cup! I can also do a boat, and a hat. Once, I did a crane, but it had been folded and re-folded so many times to get it looking even vaguely crane-like that all the color was worn off the edges of the folds *sigh*

I think your "drunk" portion of the blog is hysterically funny - thanks for brightening my day. And I agree with another commenter who shuddered at the thought of your i-Tune bill ; )It sounds like something I would do - lucky for me, I haven't figured out how to do the whole download tunes thing - and I am making a concerted effort to KEEP myself in ignorance!

 

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