No good could come of my broken brain today.
All I can think of is work, and the idiots around me who orbit like dysfunctional satellites. I walk to the coffee pot and they circle, asking things like "How do you spell 'scratch'?" Grown men, old enough to be my father, and they can't spell at a third grade level! When I complained to the receptionist she replied, "Don't they have spellcheck?" As if THAT were the point. I walk back to my desk and they swoop in to gather data. "How do you forward an email?" "How do you put paper in the printer?" "Can you fix this for me?" I want to stab at them with my stapler, screaming "Back! Back!"
But I don't. Instead I calmly go and fix their problems, answer their queries, tell them there are no stupid questions. But I'm lying. There really ARE stupid questions. I hear about a hundred a day. Last night I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend's wife broke into our house because she wanted to see what were we're all about. But the roof was caving in and it reeked of cat pee. She acted appalled and quickly declined my offer of coffee. "We don't have any cats," I remember thinking. "This isn't what we're about!" I yelled after her. Then I closed the door and cried. I don't know why. It's all so strange.
My parent's, the biological one and the adopted, aren't speaking to each other at the moment. So I can't act happy until they're through. It just wouldn't do. I can't talk about the cute things Hoop said to me today, or the way I woke up smelling his hair and I didn't want to leave the bed. I can't talk about how he has annoyed me lately either. That would clearly mark me on the side of my Mother... or man-haters... or women in general. So I don't talk. It's not safe. Instead, I watch the clock and wait for the day to change. Is it the weekend yet? Can I stop pretending to be nice, or to care, or that I'm really sane under here?
Like I said... No good can come of my broken brain today.
(In the order I received them)
When We're Together I secretly blame my farts on you.
Revolter What is... A gun that makes you sick.
Grinning Ear To Ear Has anyone ever stopped to imagine how WEIRD that would look?
Misunderstood? Not really. They all pretty much understand that I'm a nut.
January Search Terms:
(What people type into search engines that gets them here)
my hamster got shaken what can I do Oh no! Quick, reverse time.
I hate elves Me too. Unless they're making me rice crispie treats... or cookies.
sesame street squares are really rectangles
homemade nair Removes the skin as well as the hair!