1. You know you're getting road weary when the car you've been driving behind for two hours gets off at an exit and you think, "Why doesn't he like me anymore?!"
2. After pulling an all-nighter Friday, I wasn't too keen on repeating the eleven hour drive Monday morning. So Hoop and I decided to break up the drive between Sunday night and Monday afternoon with a comfy hotel stay in between.
3. At least that's what I THOUGHT the plan was. Hoop the great money saver had other ideas.
4. After driving from eleven until one in the morning, I decided to nap and let Hoop drive for a bit. "Wake me when we're ready to get a hotel."
5. I woke up at three to find us parked at a rest stop.
6. Sweaty, sore and still in a face full of greasy make-up, I shoved Hoop over and angrily decided to continue driving.
7. Hoop woke at six to find us still on the road and only three hours from home. My eyes were like Moonpies.
8. He wisely decided we should pull over and get a hotel room. Never has a bed felt so damn good!
9. The next afternoon, since we were so close to home already, we decided to explore Hoop's old college town for a few hours.
10. First stop was the college. The next stop was a cow field Hoop used to go shrooming in. No shrooms. But Hoop DID manage to find some ticks as he was crawling back over the fence.
11. As we were leaving I noticed a sign at the entrance to the field. "CAUTION: WASTEWATER COLLECTION AND TREATMENT"
12. "Huh," Hoop said. "No wonder those shrooms were so big."
14. Despite protests from Hoop's Dad and brother, we decided to leave late on Sunday night. We had hoped to avoid traffic.
15. We were coming up to a hill smack dab in the middle of nowhere when I looked to the horizon and told Hoop, "It looks like the sky is on fire."
16. It wasn't. It was the lights of about thirty emergency vehicles reflecting off the trees. I thought the world was ending.
17. The road was blocked off by cones at the top of the hill, but we could see all the way down to the bottom and beyond. It was an ocean of ambulances, firetrucks and police cars.
18. Hoop pulled up to a truck that had just pulled over, light-bar flashing. "What's going on?" He asked the middle-aged gentleman who got out. "Is there a way around this?"
19. The man puffed up with self-importance. "I don't know. As you can see, there's been an accident. I'm needed over THERE." His wife hopped out of the truck behind him with a video camera.
20. We turned around and took refuge in a church parking lot. Another man was there, surveying the scene from his truck. "What happened?" Hoop asked.
21. The guy was tanked. "Car flipped," he slurred. "I uh... got there just after it happened."
22. I don't know what bothered me more, the fact that all this fuss was over one lone car or that the dude parked next to us might have caused it.
Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: Just a moment. I have to find the right tape.
New Employee: Tape! You mean you guys are still using VHS?
Tink: Yup, afraid so.
New Employee: Are you even old enough to remember tapes?
Tink: Here it is.
New Employee: I bet I'm a lot older than you, huh?
Tink: Let me just rewind this.
New Employee: What are you, twenty-one? Twenty-two?
Tink: Here's the test. Let me know when you finish.
New Employee: But you have to be older than eighteen, right?
Tink: Good luck.
New Employee: Wait-
Tink: *Leaves and shuts door*
New Employee: -What am I doing again?
New Employee: HELLO?
Hoop Quote Of The Day:
Why does our society encourage old people to buy RVs? They can't even manage normal sized vehicles!