Friday, April 25, 2008

Rated Arrrr, Mateys!

Around The Water Cooler:
Sales Guy 1: Kathy was telling me about this costume party she had last night.
Sales Guy 2: Costume party?
Sales Guy 1: It was an all girl costume party, if you know what I mean.
Sales Guy 2: Like... Pirate costumes?
Sales Guy 1: What? No! Like lingerie. I think they had blow-up dolls and stuff there too.
Sales Guy 2: Oh. Well, that makes more sense.
Tink: Really? Because I'm actually more confused.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(Dedicated to
Mamatulip.)
Hoop: Bay-beeee.
Tink: Yeah?
Hoop: I need lovin'!
Tink: You're low?
Hoop: Uh-huh.
Tink: Want me to fill you up?
Hoop: Uh-huh. Right here. *Points to crotch*

Random Conversation:
Car Salesman: You'd be amazed what people tell me about the cars they bring in for trade.
Tink: Oh yeah?
Car Salesman: This one chick pulled up in a car that had a broken dashboard. She told me she'd busted it while having sex.
Tink: She told you that?
Car Salesman: So I got a good look at the chick, because you have to after hearing information like that.
Tink: Right.
Car Salesman: I came to the conclusion that the fella musta been trying to get away. Because that girl had dirt in her ears. Both of 'em! Nasty.

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!

Labels: , ,

34 Comments:

At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

Nasty!

Hey, I finally added my Golden Spork to my sidebar. I'm slow like that. And thanks. (Actually, I had forgotten about it after downloading it into my file and just saw it and "oops"....).

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

Lol. Wouldn't hoop be filling YOU up. hehe

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

Ha! Another high class car sales guy. If car sales doesn't work out for him he'll go into Real Estate.

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger J said...

Nasty. The guys you really have to talk to are the ones who have to clean the used cars before they put them on the lot. The stuff they come across is frightening.

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Edge said...

I almost peed my pants. Too cool.

And ladies take note, that is EXACTLY how you need to ask for sweet lovin'!!!

And BTW ... did he fill your "tank"?

~Jef

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

That Hoop is a smart one. Ask real nice and include directions so you will always get exactly what you are looking for.
You have inspired me to throw a pirate party complete with blow up dolls... for pillaging?

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger meno said...

I just had to explain why i burst out laughing to someone. I was reading the used car sex story.

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Lefty said...

Did that pointing to his crotch thing work? 'Cause it never does for me.

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Yowza. And hopefully that car wasn't on the lot anymore?!

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Tory said...

Tink, you are so funny. You made my day!
Take care
Tory

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

Nasty is right! I hope you found another salesman? You have/overhear some of the strangest conversations - I love it!

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger LL said...

So that's how you get some lovin'...

Damn... I knew I was doing something wrong...

 
At 25 April, 2008, Blogger gr said...

is it really that hard to keep your ears clean? and was Hoop drunk?

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger Joshua said...

wow! Great post =)


p.s. word verification FTL

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

The car salesman takes the cake.

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

let me give you a glimpse at a non-healthy love solicitous discussion...

me : baybeeee
ex : what the fuck do you want?
me : umm, maybe you'd let me kiss you?
ex : i'm watching flavor of love, shut up, i can't hear anything.
me : ok, sorry

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

1. Ew - I don't want to hear any more.
2. Good try Hoop!
3. That's pretty hilarious - but gross at the same time.

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger butterfly girl said...

Men.

 
At 26 April, 2008, Anonymous kcinnova said...

Ummm, doesn't Hoop have it a little backwards? I mean, there's a gas pump and then there's a gas tank... I'm just sayin'...
Around here, it's just the mention of DSB.

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

That is so funny that you threatened to "fill up" Hoop as Mamatulip does to her kids. Since reading it on her site, I do it to my nephew all the time. LOL

 
At 26 April, 2008, Blogger HAR said...

Dirty ears. How foul is that?

 
At 27 April, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Love the conversations as always!! I swear they almost seem like "Cartoon Strip" material... if you can draw, get crankin on those! You might be the next Charles Schultz of our generation.

Hey, as if you don't get enough awards probably with your excellence, you've WON AN AWARD at MY PLACE! :)

 
At 27 April, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Okay, Hoop sounds so much like Dave it's not funny. Although he's never told me he's low on love. That's what Julia says to try and stall bedtime off. Dave usually comes up with lines like, "Let me check your temperature with my dick thermometer" and "You look like you could use a swift dick in the ass."

It's so romantic.

 
At 27 April, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Oh, and the last conversation reminded me of the time I took my golf cart, er...Tracker, in for a trade. The car salesman was looking at it and noticed something white that had spilled and dried on the front seat. He kind of scratched at it and asked me what it was and I looked at him, smiled and said, "Oh, that's just breastmilk."

I thought he was going to puke right there.

 
At 27 April, 2008, Anonymous Raven said...

@ the last bit: EWWW

 
At 27 April, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

ON NO! poor car!

 
At 27 April, 2008, Blogger Krishna said...

LOL--I love the car salesman story--I had to drag Darling Husband in here to read that one.

 
At 28 April, 2008, Blogger TheBirdman33 said...

Your daily hoop conversation is priceless.

The kind of girls I date, it would go more like this:

ME: "Baby, I need some loving"
Every girl I've been in a relationship with in the last 7 years: "What am I a piece of meat? I don't need sex."
Me: "well, it's been almost a month..."
Every girl I've been in a relationship with in the last 7 years: "And now it will be another month because you brought it up and called attention to the fact that it matter to you"
Me: "Ok, I'll be watching my favorite Kim Kardashian Video, see you in the morning..."

 
At 28 April, 2008, Blogger captain corky said...

You guys always inspire me. I'm going to get a sign made up that says, need loving, and where it on my belt buckle. I sure hope it works! ;)

 
At 28 April, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

I love that someone would say pirate costumes? LOL! Cute Hoop conversation. And the last one...okay, dirty ears are yuck but WTF, why was he checking her ears?

 
At 28 April, 2008, Blogger Tequila Mockingbird said...

1. that lingerie party sounds like it could lead to some "experimentation". as everyone is aware, shit happens when you party naked. or even semi naked.

2.dirty ears are legitimately vile. dont invite her to the lingerie party

 
At 28 April, 2008, Blogger Brynne said...

Oh Wow the Random conversation today is classic! that is hilarious. I'm going to guess that this is someone you either know or you work with cause I am amazed that any random person would offer up that kind of information. of course now that I think about it I can't believe that girl told him that she broke the dash having sex. wow people are weird and scary sometimes. thanks for the laugh.

 
At 28 April, 2008, Anonymous catscratch diva said...

Adorable! 2 thumbs up over here!

 
At 28 April, 2008, Blogger Melanie said...

dirt in her ears.. whatever!

i love the hoop and tink conversations.

 

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