Fun With Beer

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While playing "Guess That Muff" and drinking)
Hoop: I'm surprised women don't use their full pallet down there.
Tink: What do you mean?
Hoop: I mean, why aren't there more lightening bolts and hearts-
Bob: -and astrological signs?
Tink: That would get kind of tricky if you were shaving yourself.
Hoop: We should open a muff cutting business!
Bob: Yeah, that sounds like real stinky work. I'll just be clean-up.
Tink: How about- NO.
Hoop: We can be "Muff Cutters 'R Us"!

Not Even Close To Samoan

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: You look so good, baby!
Hoop: Do I look like The Rock?
Tink: Noooo.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: Really, you're surprised?
Hoop: *Pouts*
Tink: Because you couldn't have picked someone you look less like.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Papa Bear: Have you ever watched the show "Deadliest Warriors"?
Hoop: Yeah. It was Okay. The episode we saw was the I.R.A. against the Taliban and it took place in a junkyard.
Papa Bear: Well the one about the Apaches vs. the Gladiators was pretty good.
Hoop: What's a Gladiator?
Papa Bear: *Blink*
Hoop: We're talking about helicopters, right?

Friday Funnies

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Would you still love me if I couldn't control my farts?
Tink: Of course.
Hoop: Would you go out in public with me?
Tink: Um... I guess so.
Hoop: Would you change my diaper?
Tink: What?!
Hoop: Well, you know, if I can't control my farts there are probably other things that I can't control either.
Tink: Are your arms broken in this scenario too?
Hoop: ...
Tink: ...
Hoop: They fell off.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Don't you wish they had shrinking machines?
Tink: That might be kind of useful.
Hoop: Then women could shrink all their large keepsakes into smaller ones.
Tink: Like what?
Hoop: Like, um... Wedding dresses. Wouldn't it be great if you could fit yours into a nice little shadow box?
Tink: It would.
Hoop: So, is there any other way you can shrink something like that?
Tink: What, my wedding dress?
Hoop: Yeah.
Tink: NO.
Hoop: You can't, like, wash it a bunch of times?

Have a wonderful weekend Homebloys!

There's Always Room For Etsy!

I'm all over the place right now.

Like Jell-O without the mold.

Which explains how I completely forgot to post Etsy links yesterday. Because frankly, I have no freakin' idea what day it is anymore. I can't say I haven't enjoyed my stay in Unemploymentville (that should have been my Wild World city name!). But I'm ready to get back to work now. Now if I could just find a job that didn't involve working for *peanuts or touching dead people...

*I said this to a friend and she thought I said "penis". I told her, "That too."

Daily Etsy Picks:
Star Trek Vinyl Decal (How can you not laugh?)
Cupcake Stand
Journey Journal
"Explore" Shirt

WTF Etsy?:
Lucy's Potty Pants (When you secretly hate your baby.)
Cherokee Booger Mask
Merkin Hair Panties
Bridal Surgical Mask

Etsy of Note:
Baby Viking Hat (Jay, if you had kids...)

Daily Hoop Conversations:
Tink: Dane Cook is kind of cute. It's a shame he's such a jerk.
Hoop: Well that's an improvement. You used to just hate him.
Tink: Yeah. He grew on me a little.
Hoop: So if I were laying here passed out and he offered you sex, would you do him?
Tink: What? No! Why are you passed out?
Hoop: I don't know.
Tink: Did Dane Cook knock you out?
Hoop: Pfft. Please.
Tink: Did someone poison you?!
Hoop: You're missing the point.

Weekly Words Challenge 74!

The words for this week were White and Mailbox/slot.

How did you interpret them?

White Fish Saltshaker


White Grapefruit Blossoms


White Picket Fence


Peeling Mailbox


Busted Mailbox


(Scottish Highland Games '09)

Big Bit's First Job


A Little Competitor


Women's Ax Throwing Winners

That's me on the end. I got third place! My Grandmother got second and my Mom got first. We like to keep it in the family. ;)

(Other Random Photos)

My New Do


If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. We also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Not only do you get to add "Lowly Foon" to your resume, but you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

The words for next week are:
9
and
Desire

Daily Etsy Pick:
Bottle Opener Belt Buckle
Spork Bangle
"Ktog"- Knitting on Canvas (This is so cool!)

WTF Etsy?:
One Unflattering Portrait
Cthithuly (I wouldn't pay $1 for this, let alone $100)
Evil Egg Purse

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I just found a spork bangle!
Hoop: What is that, a tiger?

Stupidity Is Infinite

I was driving down the road yesterday when I came across a kid on the sidewalk who was waving at me in a very peculiar way. He was pumping his fist in the air, up and down, up and down while smiling broadly. I slowed down just a tick to wave back. "How sad!" I thought. "That poor little slow boy's parents have left him to walk to school alone." Then the tow truck beside me honked his horn, an answer to the obvious "honk-your-horn" gesture the kid was making at it.

Whatever doubts I had about not being smarter than a 5th grader have just been confirmed.
************

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While watching T.V.)
Hoop: Did you see that?
Tink: See what?
Hoop: A washer and dryer combo that can complete a load in 30 minutes.
Tink: Neat!
Hoop: Do you know how quickly we could do our laundry with one of those?
Tink: In 30 minutes.
Hoop: ...
Tink: Was that a trick question?
************

Is it just me, or does this man who washed up on Christmas Eve look like Santa Claus?

Married White Female

We were watching Lost last night, the part in Wednesday's episode where someone dies. I was frowning at the screen, totally into the moment, when Hoop turned to me and said...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: If I had just died, and we'd never had sex before, would you feel my package?
Tink: What?
Hoop: You know, to see what you were missing?
Tink: NO.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: ...
Hoop: ...
Tink: ...Would you?!

************
I think I'm going to place a want ad in the local alternative paper... for some girlfriends. Yeah, there's just no way to say that without sounding like a loser. For the last five years I've worked at a beer distributor, surrounded by men. What few women I have as coworkers are either older or have incompatible lifestyles. I'm not in school. My extracurricular activities consist of drinking with the boys and attending a monthly wine book club, which I thoroughly enjoy, but that caters to women twice my age.

I've unintentionally cut off all avenues for finding girlfriends in my age bracket. But I refuse to believe that I'm alone in this. I live in a military city, after all! Surely there are women who have followed their soldiers here, only to be left alone while their partners fight overseas. I'm not looking for a BFF. Shit, I'm not even looking for a BF. I just want someone with low drama who wants to meet for a drink or sushi or shopping every once in awhile. Any suggestions how I can write this thing without sounding like a freak or a pervert?

So, anyway, we'll see. Maybe something will come of it...

...or maybe it'll just be really great blog fodder.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

Pickled Beef Bison

There are some people who can whip things up without a recipe, innately knowing which flavors can mix and which can't. Then there are people like Hoop, the man who thought orange extract would make pizza sauce more zesty. It didn't; just in case you were wondering. Hoop isn't a bad cook. Really. He's rather good, when he follows a format. But he's not the best at improv. Ever since he discovering that our government has approved the integration of cloned meat and milk into our food supply, he's been boycotting beef.

I'm not complaining. I'm all for putting better things in our body. But boycotting beef is harder than it sounds for a man who loves burgers, meaty lasagna and tacos. Tuesday night, as we were at the grocery store, Hoop decided to buy a pound of Bison meat as a possible substitute. I came home last night to burgers. They looked beautiful. They smelled wonderful. Unfortunately, they didn't taste as good as they looked or smelled. "What do you think?" Hoop mumbled around his mouthful. "Um... Honestly? It's not very good."

Hoop stared at his burger suspiciously. "It does taste a little off. Do you think the meat is bad?" "No. It just doesn't taste very good." We chewed in silence for awhile, not willing to admit defeat or waste the food. I tried in vain to pinpoint the flavor. Nothing came to mind. "I was really hoping this would taste better," Hoop sighed while finishing the last bite. I frowned and nodded my agreement while cleaning up the plates. About five minutes later Hoop turned to me and said, "Do you think it was the vegetable oil?"

************

A few people have marveled at the smallness of the manatees in my Tuesday photos. To put it in perspective, the fish in that lone manatee shot is the size of my arm, my entire arm... including my weird elbow. I knew when I was taking the shots that it would be hard to gage their size without some reference. I thought about throwing something into the water while we were there, like maybe a can, or one of those small children running around the dock. But I didn't think the park rangers would like that very much.

************

I bought my little ninjas (Hiyeee and Ya!) at this etsy shop: Goose Grease. They're very small. I would not recommend them for children or really immature adults. Other cool ninja figures from Etsy can be found here, here, and here. You're welcome.

Bring On The Eggnog

This weekend was interesting, to say the least. My family came over to the house Saturday evening, following a birthday party for my Mom at a nearby restaurant. When Hoop opened the door to let them in, a tiny bird flew in too. From the way my brother's girlfriend was screaming, you would have thought it was a pterodactyl. I eventually caught the poor thing in one of our hanging cooking pots. Its heart was practically humming against my hand as I took it outside. When I opened my fingers it paused, almost in disbelief, before shooting straight up into the black sky.

Sunday, Hoop and I took my brothers Christmas shopping. All was going well until we went into the sports store. We were just about to leave when Big Bit (the 16 yr. old) came limping up to me and said he'd gotten cut on a stationary bicycle. It wasn't a cut though, it was a gash. Our next stop was the local hospital. Three hours and six stitches later, we were more than ready to call it a day. There's only so much weather channel a person can take. Although, people watching was at its finest. I saw three broken hands, two injured eyes, and a wood chopping injury. Ouch.

Friday's Holiday Meme

1. What was the best present you've ever received?
For Christmas- An entire set of model horses. I was eleven. All my friends had them. I'd been pining after a set of my own for months. My Mom and I had carefully picked these out for my cousins, so I'd thought. But in the end, they turned out to be for me!
Other- The first year Hoop and I were together, he bought me a digital camera. I'd been using his for about three months when it died. I felt horrible and offered to replace it. But instead, he bought ME one. It was totally unexpected and more expensive than I'm comfortable admitting. By far, it was the most thoughtful gift he could have given me.

2. What was the worst?
A set of chipped angel-head butter spreaders that were obviously used.

3. What is something you really want this year for yourself?
Books.

4. What is something you really want this year for someone else?
A Vita-Mix juicer for my Mom. Unfortunately, it's WAY out of price range.

5. What's your favorite Christmas memory?
When my brothers were very young, they would get up at the crack of dawn and run screaming through the house that Santa had come. I miss that excitement. Christmas is always lovely. I have my family. We have our health. But there's something special about Christmas through the eyes of a child.

Let us know if you participated!

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Are you hot?
Hoop: Am I hot?
Tink: Yeah.
Hoop: No. I'd need to lose 20 pounds and get some sun first.
Tink: Oh-kay... So I take it you DON'T want me to turn on the fan then?

How was your weekend?

Pshhhhh.

That's the sound my head makes before exploding.

I had a nice long post in mind for today. Then I got sucked into a two hour meeting with no signs of stopping... or coffee. Who the hell throws a two hour meeting without coffee? Before all that was the weekend, during which my computer went "thbt" and I went "Noooooooo!" This was followed by Hoop staying up for six hours last night saving all our documents so he could reload Windows. I was so nervous that I was going to lose everything, I dreamt I chewed my fingers off. Chewed. Them. OFF. So, if you're wondering about my honeymoon update (now three weeks late), it's coming. Just not today.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(On the phone.)
Tink: Are you out of the doctor's office yet?
Hoop: Yup.
Tink: So, they took your blood-
Hoop: -and gave me a Tetanus shot.
Tink: Did they tell you anything?
Hoop: They said I was a superior human being.

Tomorrow: The WWC!

How was your weekend?

Something Else Entirely

I know I promised a post about the bachelorette party, but I forgot my disk of pictures at home. Believe me, you want the pictures. So here' s the new posting schedule of events:

Monday- Bachelorette Party
Tuesday- WWC
Wednesday- The Cruise Ship and Key West
Thursday- Cozumel, Mexico
Friday- Belize, Central America

Until then, enjoy something else entirely.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: You need a sensor for your mouth.
Hoop: Mind your own business.
Tink: No, you mind your own business.
Hoop: You ARE my business.
Tink: Then you better mind me!

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"Did you lick me in the face this morning?"

Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: I had a bad dream last night.
Mom: Oh yeah? What about?
Tink: I bought you a key lime cake for your birthday and when I went to pick it up, it was burned. So Hoop and I decided to taste-test it and it was so good that we ate it all up.
Mom: You ate my cake?!
Tink: I went back to get you another, but all they had was raspberry. Then the bakery told me that it was the last cake they were ever going to sell because they were closing down.
Mom: Oh no!
Tink: But they told me if I ordered their magazine, it would have a recipe for the key lime cake in it. So I ordered it. Then it arrived and it was all blank! Screwed up, huh?
Mom: What in the world did you eat before you went to bed?
Tink: Believe it or not, it wasn't cake.

Have A Wonderful Weekend Homebloys!

Attack Of The Memes

The last time I participated in a meme (not of my own creation) was back in January. The reason is simple. I don't like them. So, if you have tagged me in the last nine months and I have failed to acknowledged it, please know that it's not because I don't love you. It's because I, much like a child below the age of five, like to believe that if you can't see something, it can't see you either. Like maybe if I ignore the fact that you tagged me, you might forget that you did it. What, that doesn't work? I'm going to ignore that you said that. But sometimes, if you're lucky and I'm bored, I'll do your meme anyway.

Like today...

Tagged by Krissa:

1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 random or weird facts about yourself.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and link to their blog. Feel free to steal this if you want to.
4. Let each person know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. Consider yourself notified.

1. I hate imitation banana flavoring.
2. Sometimes I talk in a British accent for no reason.
3. I STILL hide things that I did as a teen from my Mom.
4. I have no problem handling frogs, lizards and snakes that I know aren't poisonous.
5. On average, I take about three photos a day.
6. Hoop has better fashion sense than I do.
7. I love conventions for the free food.

Tagged by Tawcan:

5 things I was doing 10 years ago-
Smoking pot
Sneaking out
Sleeping in class
Thinking I knew everything
Typical 15 year old crap that drives parents crazy

5 things on my to do list today-
Work (Bleh)
Get Marriage License DONE!
Do laundry
Watch "Pushing Daisies"
Walk at least 7,000 steps

5 snacks I love-
Pocky
Extra Cheddar Goldfish Crackers
Cut-up Mango
Candied Pecans
Fried Onions

5 things I would do if I were a millionaire-
Quit working for awhile and travel
Go to college
Pay for my brothers to go to college
Invest
Donate the rest

5 places I’ve lived-
Sylvania, Ohio
Toledo, Ohio
Phoenix, Arizona
South Bend, Indiana
A Small Drinking Village, Florida

5 jobs I’ve had-
Novelty Knife Salesman at a Flea Market
Peon at the Body Shop Clothing Store
Condo Cleaner
Transportation Clerk at a Food Warehouse
Do-All Girl at a Beer Distributor

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Crap. The only thing on is "Cops".
Tink: Hey, I think this was filmed in Jacksonville. I recognize the uniforms.
Hoop: You recognize the UNICORNS?!
Tink: Yeah, because that makes so much sense.
Hoop: I thought you were calling the cops unicorns or something.
Tink: "Freeze! This is the unicorns! Come out with your hands in the-"
Hoop: -Oh shut up.
Tink: Man, I hope I never get pulled over by a unicorn.

Cut Loose Like A Deuce

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: (Singing) Blinded by the light! Cut loose like a douche-
Tink: That is NOT how it goes.
Hoop: Yes it is.
Tink: No, it isn't.
Hoop: (Singing) Cut loose like a douche in the middle of the night!
Tink: Oh my God.
Hoop: It totally makes sense!

Weekend Recap:
1. As usual, Halloween Horror Nights was awesome.
2. But even there, signs of the recession could be seen. Although the lines for some of the haunted houses were still up to an hour wait, the streets were often empty. In past years, Hoop and I would have to elbow viciously through dense crowds just to make our way through the park. This year, there were less drinkers/partiers and more kids/families.
3. I'm not complaining.
4. It's just a little odd that I actually found a perk to this mess.
5. The theme this year was twisted fairy tales. There was a burned Jack-Be-Nimble, a demented Alice from Wonderland, Bo Peep and her found (dead) sheep, and the Pied Piper with a rat in his pie-hole... just to name a few.
6. Not to mention whichever character it was who did a scare-by on me. I had just looked away to check out Jack; when I turned back, I landed nose to nose with someone. That someone promptly screamed in my face and then fled.
7. The only thing I can remember, before closing my eyes and dropping to the ground in a crouch, was hot breath on my face. Oh, and Hoop laughing like a madman.
8. Each year, HHN hosts a new "Bill and Ted Adventure Show". It usually revolves around popular music and characters from throughout the year. Last year's guest list included a bald Britney Spears and an incoherent Lindsay Lohan. This year's theme was more political.
9. Well, if you can consider seeing McCain (or an actor that looks nothing like him) shaking his ass political.
9. On a side note, if the crowd's response was any indication, McCain isn't doing so hot. Let us all pause for my happy dance.

So, how was your weekend?

Sylar's A Grouch

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: So what did you do for lunch?
Tink: A coworker and I walked to Gander Mountain.
Hoop: Gander Mountain!
Tink: Yeah, you know, that sports store?
Hoop: Did you drop the ring in the lava?
Tink: What? Oh... That would be GANDALF Mountain, you dope.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: I hate to say this, but I'm really looking forward to going home and watching more Heroes tonight.
Tink: Me too!
Hoop: And here I was convinced I was going to hate that show.
Tink: It's those fucking eyebrows. Stupid Sylar.
Hoop: You have to admit, they're kind of mesmerizing.
Tink: They're not human! They belong on a Muppet.

Yay, Goodies! I will be vlogging the drawing for the secret Pay-It-Forward prize tomorrow at sometime. It's not like the Annual PB Contest, you don't have to be there when I announce it. So, no pressure. BUT, there is a chance to get a second ticket thrown into the pot with your name on it. As of right now, anyone who commented on Friday or Monday's post will be entered into the drawing once. The first person to guess what the prize is correctly will get their name thrown into the pot twice. So get guessing!

Weekly Words Challenge 49!

The words for this week were Sour and Salty, and due to my work load today, I'm using a "Get Out Of WWC Free" card. Betcha didn't even know we had those. But don't let that stop you from posting! I'll be around to check yours out shortly.

The words for next week are:
Moody
and
Bright

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Handmade Tiles
Flying High
Pair Of Ninjas

WTF Etsy?:
Mummy Doll
Itty Bitty Titties Earrings
$40 Lego "Cloud"

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I booked our hotel room for the wedding night today.
Hoop: Sweet!
Tink: I'm going to try and book the limo tomorrow.
Hoop: Cool.
Tink: We just need it for the ride to the hotel, right?
Hoop: Right. No riding around either. I just want to get to the hotel room and DO IT.
Tink: Well that's romantic.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Quit petting my dog.
Hoop: He's not your dog; he's my dog.
Tink: He's in MY lap.
Hoop: *Pats Tink on the head*
Tink: Are you calling me your dog now?
Hoop: No, silly! You're my human.

Happy Hoopla 2!

(The 2nd anniversary of the day Hoop discovered this blog)

May I present to you...

THE HOOP INTERVIEW!

Also known as a really long and pointless Hoop conversation. Although I'm 99.9% sure there are no small children that read this blog, I would like to point out that this post has some mature content in it. So, flee little ones! Quick, before I corrupt your innocence! Are they gone? Good. Enjoy!

Hoop: How many questions are there?
Tink: I don't know. I'm writing them as I go.
Hoop: This should be interesting...

1. Would you say that you're a boob man, a butt man, or a leg man?
Hoop: Didn't you ask me that one last year?
Tink: I don't think so.
Hoop: Ass man.

2. What's your least favorite movie?
Hoop: What's the last shitty movie that we saw?
Tink: Um, The Happening.
Hoop: Yeah, put me down for that one.

3. If you could magically get any three items in the world, what would they be?
Hoop: Every card that I've ever wanted to collect.
Tink: You do realize what a nerd that makes you sound like, right?
Hoop: Every video game I've ever wanted.
Tink: You mean to tell me that if you could have ANY three things in the world, you would choose cards and video games for the first two?
Hoop: I already have everything that I want. What else is there?
Tink: Oh I don't know, what about a sweet car?
Hoop: Sure.
Tink: *Sigh*

4. Where do you see yourself in a year?
Hoop: King of the world.
Tink: Pfft. You would. No, seriously.
Hoop: In a ditch-
Tink: Hoooooop.
Hoop: -sleeping... in a box.

5. Which are scarier, vampires or wolverines?
Hoop: What? Why would I be scared of a wolverine?
Tink: Oops. I meant werewolf.
Hoop: A werewolf.
Tink: *Scoff*

6. Which is better, Pepsi or Coke?
Hoop: Pepsi.
Tink: Dr. Pepper or Mr. Pibb?
Hoop: Pibb.
Tink: Costumes or lingerie?
Hoop: Lingerie.

7. Would you rather live in a mansion in Iowa or a shack in Hawaii?
Hoop: The mansion.
Tink: But, it's in IOWA.
Hoop: So? I'd just fly to Hawaii whenever I wanted.

8. Would you rather lose a pinkie or have Ebay shut down FOR-EV-ER?
Hoop: Lose a pinkie.
Tink: That was a quick answer.
Hoop: I'm just kidding. There'd be another Ebay eventually. It would be stupid to lose a pinkie over nothing.
Tink: True.

9. If you were a cartoon, which character would you be?
Hoop: Elmer Fudd.
Tink: Great.
Hoop: Why don't you ask me what superpower I'd like to have?
Tink: I think I asked you that last year.
Hoop: So?

10. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Hoop: Ah-would-be-um, what do you call it? Invincible! And I could fly.
Tink: That's TWO superpowers.
Hoop: Superman has both.
Tink: That's because Superman has more than one super power.
Hoop: Don't tell me what I can't have.

11. What's the best T.V. show of all time?
Hoop: The Office.
Tink: Really? More than Chuck?
Hoop: Does Chuck come on next Monday?
Tink: *Sigh* No... again. Chuck doesn't come on until this fall.
Hoop: Oh. Then, no.

12. In your opinion, what is the most annoying habit someone can have?
Hoop: Breathing loudly through their nose when they talk.

13. Would you ever have plastic surgery done on your body (for purely pleasurable purposes)?
Hoop: Nah. Unless you wanted me to get a penis enlargement.
Tink: You want me to put that down as your answer?
Hoop: Hey, it's your interview!
Tink: Actually, it's yours. But oh-kay.

14. If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would it be?
Hoop: Canada... or Hawaii... or Australia.
Tink: Wow, babe. Those are three totally different places.

15. This is called "2 Truths and a Lie". You have to share three things about yourself, two true and one false. Then the blogosphere has to guess which is which.
Hoop: Do they have to be interesting facts?
Tink: I guess not.
Hoop: I have three balls. No, that's too obvious. I have no gallbladder. I have no life insurance. I love Mustangs.

16. Would you ever go on a reality show?
Hoop: YES.
Tink: What if you would have no idea what the show was about until you were on it?
Hoop: YES.

17. Is there anything that you've never told me before that you would like to tell me now?
Hoop: I have three balls.
Tink: I think I would know if that were true.
Hoop: I used to be a woman.
Tink: Moving on.

18. Is there something about me that you've always wanted to know but have never asked?
Hoop: Have you ever done another girl?
Tink: How would I DO another girl?
Hoop: What do you mean?
Tink: I mean, I don't have the necessary equipment to DO a girl.
Hoop: *Sigh* Have you ever touched the flesh of another girl in an sexual manner?
Tink: No.
Hoop: *Grumbles* Fine.

19. What's your favorite cuss word?
Hoop: Fuck. No, douche-bag. Wait, is douche-bag a cuss word?
Tink: Can you say it in church?

20. Would you ever kiss a dude for $10,000?
Hoop: ...
Tink: Hello?
Hoop: Yeah.
Tink: What? You would kiss a dude?
Hoop: For $10,000? Definitely.
Tink: Wow. I- Wow.

21. What was your favorite toy as a kid?
Hoop: A vibrator.
Tink: Wha- NO.
Hoop: Transformers.
Tink: Thank you.
Hoop: Is that it?
Tink: Isn't that enough? !

Look for the top 5 Hoop conversations in the post below...

Hoopla Continued...

Tink's Top Five Hoop Conversations Since Last Hoopla:

5. January 4th
Tink: I love you.
Hoop: I love you more.
Tink: No you don't. I love YOU more.
Hoop: That's impossible.
Tink: Nuh-uh. I measured it while you were sleeping.
Hoop: *Blink*
Tink: Your love. I measured your love while you were sleeping.
Hoop: Whoa.
Tink: Yeah, that came out wrong.
(While spooning on the couch)
Hoop: *Whispers*
Tink: No you don't.
Hoop: How did you hear that?!
Tink: You were whispering into my ear.
Hoop: Oh yeah.
Tink: Dork.

4. September 9th
Hoop: Do you think the dentist will let me take my wisdom teeth home?
Tink: I don't see why not. Just let them know before they put you under.
Hoop: That would be awesome.
Tink: What're going to do with them?
Hoop: I don't know.
Tink: Maybe the tooth fairy will come.
Hoop: Or maybe I could put them in a statue!

3. October 17th
Hoop: I'm going to take a power nap so I can study later.
Tink: OK.
Hoop: Wake me up at 9:30.
(An hour later)
Tink: Bay-be.
Hoop: Wha?
Tink: You told me to wake you up at 9:30.
Hoop: *Mumbles* OK.
(30 minutes later as I'm changing for bed)
Tink: Bay-be.
Hoop: Wha?
Tink: It's 10 o'clock. I tried to wake you up at 9:30.
Hoop: And you did.
Tink: Then why are you still sleeping?
Hoop: Because every time I wake up you have less clothes on.

2. September 19th
Tink: Did you shake the rug for me?
Hoop: Like a baby.

1. September 7th
Hoop: Quit tickling me!
Tink: Or what?
Hoop: Or um... I'll kill you.
Tink: Kill me and you get NOTHING.
Hoop: That's what you think. I took a life insurance policy out on you.
Tink: You can't do that! We're not even married.
Hoop: Yes I can. There's this thing called "insurable interest." If your death is going to effect the way I live, I can take a policy out on you.
Tink: So you're saying I could take a policy out on anyone?
Hoop: If you can prove insurable interest.
Tink: So I could take a policy out on our waitress?
Hoop: I don't think her death would effect your quality of life.
Tink: What if she dies before she can bring us our food?
Hoop: You're going to insure her for the cost of a hamburger?
Tink: Maybe I'm really really hungry.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

A Sporkful Of Sugar

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(On the plane)
Tink: Is this seat taken?
Business Woman: No.
Tink: Mind if I-?
BW: Go right ahead.
Tink: Thanks! I promise I don't bite.
Hoop: But she DOES lie a little bit.

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
(While passing an "Adam & Eve" adult store)
We should open a gay version and call it "Adam & Steve"!

Around The Water Cooler:
Receptionist: That applicant was jumpier than a one-legged cricket!
Tink: Did you really just say that?
Receptionist: What, you've never heard that before?
Tink: Nope, and now that I have, I think I need to move.

Random Conversation:
Funeral Speaker: And now I would like to read a poem that I wrote in 8th grade...
Family Friend: Who is this schmuck?
Tink: One of Chris' military buddies. He didn't really write that poem. I've gotten that same one in an email at least ten times.
Family Friend: Oh my God, I have too! Should we stop him?
Tink: At a funeral? I think that would probably be against etiquette.
Family Friend: It might break the tension.
Tink: True.
Family Friend: You get his legs.

Delayed On Account Of Stupidity

The 3rd Annual Blog Header Showdown will start tomorrow, and not today as originally stated. We were without power for most of the weekend and it was all my fault. As I was blow drying my hair Saturday morning, the power went out. Oddly, it didn't dawn on me to think that the two might have anything to do with each other. No. My conclusion was that we were experiencing a brownout. Hoop checked the breakers, but not thoroughly. Because, as I'd told him, we were having electrical problems. So what was the point? It would be back up soon.

Fast forward to last night. -Do you like how I did that? You didn't even have to live through the torture of the whole thing! You're welcome.- Still no power. "Listen," Hoop finally confessed. "I've never heard of a brownout before. But I'm pretty sure our electricity should be back on by now." I had to agreed. "Maybe it's one of the GFCI outlets." I am so fucking brilliant. So we ran around the house looking for reset buttons to press. That's when we realized that our house only has ONE GFCI outlet, and it's not in either of the two bathrooms. Huh. Termites AND shoddy electric work.

After pressing the reset button of the lone GFCI outlet, the electricity still wasn't back on. That's when Hoop decided to go back out to the box. "Oh!" Came his muffled reply a minute later. "This breaker wasn't fully tripped!" Suddenly, the lights came back on. I couldn't decide whether I should be elated or pissed. "Yay!" I shouted, followed by "What the hell, Hoop? I had headers to make tonight!" His smile quickly turned to confusion. "But YOU said it was a brownout." And that's when I realized...

It's not always such a great idea to act like you know what you're talking about.

Because the one time someone decides to listen to you, you're going to be wrong.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Wouldn't you say that I'm a pretty independent person?
Hoop: ...Sure you are.
Tink: Why did you hesitate?
Hoop: I didn't hesitate.
Tink: You did to! What, you don't think I'm independent?
Hoop: You're always asking for help.
Tink: With what?
Hoop: The laundry, the dishes, the yard-
Tink: *Smacks Hoop's arm*
Hoop: What? It's TRUE.

TOMORROW: WWC and the start of the 3rd Annual Blog Header Showdown. Yeah, both. I know, I'm crazy. My head is going to blow up one of these days. Btw, don't forget to get your MS Button below if you've participated in Newt and OneDaisy's Fundraiser.

Are There Nuts In Heaven?

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: *Crying* I just hit a squirrel!
Hoop: Aw, babe.
Tink: I've never killed anything before. It sucks!
Hoop: I'm so sorry. At least it wasn't a human.
Tink: *Sniff* That's true.

UPDATES

Health: I have been smoke-free for nine months, two weeks, five days, twenty hours, twenty-seven minutes and fourteen seconds. But seriously, who's counting? Overall, I have "saved" myself $1,016.72 and not smoked a total of 5,437 cigarettes. I have no idea where all that spare cash went though. I think maybe my IPod ate it. Although I have long passed the point of caving in, I still think about cigarettes at least once a week. Sometimes in a dialog.

Me: Hey there.
Cigarette: Sup.
Me: You doing OK?
Cigarette: Oh-ho, so you're talking to me now?
Me: Look, it was nothing personal.
Cigarette: Yeah, whatever.
Me: I just... didn't like your friends.
Cigarette: Who, Cool and Enjoyable?
Me: No, they were OK. It was Cancer and Emphysema. They're kind of bullies, always hanging around threatening people.
Cigarette: Oh.
Me: But it's OK. Maybe we'll hang out again someday? I probably won't care as much when I'm 80.
Cigarette: Yeah, I'd like that.
Me: Stay safe.
Cigarette: *Laughing* You're funny.

Wedding: Groom. Check. Location of ceremony and reception. Check. Flowers, dress, cake and shoes? Check! Favors. Hm, partial check. Honeymoon. Oh yeah, check that one off! Tuxedos, rings, DJ, invitations, menu, hotels, transportation, videographer, seating, unity candle, cake topper, passport- Shit. How many months do we have again? Only six! For real?! OhmyGod. So anyway, the wedding plans are going swell. My Mom and I ordered the flowers last Saturday. My bouquet is going to look something like this:


(Not my picture)

For our honeymoon we've decided to going on this cruise. I can't even explain how deliriously happy this makes me. Cozumel! Belize! I check the site almost daily to see if they've updated the land excursions. I thought nothing would beat taste testing wedding cakes. But this, to the girl who has been all of nowhere, is by far the best surprise yet. Now for all the less-fun stuff... *Sigh*