Monday, March 31, 2008


When I'm overwhelmed my brain has an odd habit of latching onto a phrase and repeating it over and over again, like I'm sinking and those words are the only thing that will keep me afloat. Today I thought, "My head feels like it's going to explode. It just might." Those last three words ran circles in my head, taunting me. "It just might. It just might." It felt like the prequel to a migraine, right before losing the ability to see noses. But the migraine never came and I eventually drowned the words out in coffee and curses.

We're two people short this week. Our receptionist, absentee extraordinaire, has been out since last Tuesday. She screwed up her back while lifting a milk jug out of her car. A MILK JUG. You have to hand it to her. She gets an "A" for originality. Next time I want to take a vacation, I think I'm going to have an unfortunate orange juicing accident. Maybe I'll be squeezing one and it'll fly out of my hand and hit me in the head, giving me a concussion. You know, the kind of brain trauma that can only be cured with sun and a bottle rum. Yo-ho!

The other employee, a friend as well as my mentor, is out because her Mom is in the hospital with heart problems. As much as it sucks to have her gone, I wish she'd stay away from work for awhile. She rushes around all day taking care of personal stuff, only to come in later and work long hours. She says, "I'm fine." She's not. She smiles like she has cancer of the soul. "Oh, she's so stoic," they say around the coffee pot. It breaks my heart. Why is this favorable? Why do we praise people who don't "burden" us with their emotions?

This same employee disappeared for a hysterectomy two years ago. No one knew where she went, or what for. Just that we weren't supposed to care... or send flowers. No flowers? For some reason that struck me the most. Even the dead get flowers. She came back four months later, a little sadder than when she'd left, and everyone pretended like nothing had happened. I wanted to throw her a party. Like, "Yay, you have so much room in there now! We should eat CAKE." But stoic people don't get parties I guess. Which makes me think, I'd rather cry. I'd rather they feel uncomfortable, damn it.

Maybe my head will explode...

It just might.

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Friday, March 28, 2008

Where Was I?

Oh yeah...

Vacation Recap Continued:
23. Sunday afternoon, the entire family met at Hoop's Nanny's house for linner (lunch/dinner) and an egg hunt.
24. I'd never participated in an adult egg hunt before, but knowing how competitive Hoop's family is, I was determined not to be outdone.
25. As soon as we got the green light, I charged ahead for an egg two feet in front of me...
26. ...and slammed head first into Hoop's ape of a cousin, Adam.
27. Our heads knocked together like two coconuts, with Adam as the victor. "Mine!" He cackled while shoving me aside effortlessly.
28. After ten minutes of combing the field, all the regular eggs had been found. There was still no sign of the prize egg though.
29. "It's attached to a green string!" Hoop's Dad announced. We collectively groaned and went back to picking through the acre of bright green grass.
30. "It's in this corner!" He announced five minutes later. We all huddled together, bumping elbows and kicking at the ground with our feet.
31. I looked up to see Hoop's Dad grinning at me. It had to be close. Then Hoop's aunt reached down and pulled the green string from below my foot. I had been standing on the hole it was buried in the entire time!
32. She deserved it though. It was the first prize egg she'd ever found in the fifty-plus years they'd been doing it.
33. But next year... it's MINE!
34. We arrived at Hoop's Dad's cabin at ten am on Saturday morning. Neither of us had gotten more than four hours of sleep, but Hoop's family was just starting their day.
35. Not wanting to be killjoys, we decided to forgo sleeping and stay up with the family instead. Still, I didn't mind declining when Hoop's Dad implored me to go check something out with them an hour away. "Get back in the car?! No way."
36. I decided to walk up the mountain instead. About half way down the road I noticed a dead animal up ahead. I didn't want to look at it, but the close proximity of the mountain drop-off required I walk right next to it.
37. "Is it a deer?" I thought sadly. As I got closer the shape started to take a little more form. My heart dropped. It was a dog.
38. I was a foot away when it raised it's head and barked at me.
39. My scream echoed off the mountain for at least a minute. At least.
40. I named him "NOT Dead Dog." Surprisingly, he came to it. Isn't he cute?

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!


Thursday, March 27, 2008

Reverse Recap

Vacation Recap:
1. You know you're getting road weary when the car you've been driving behind for two hours gets off at an exit and you think, "Why doesn't he like me anymore?!"
2. After pulling an all-nighter Friday, I wasn't too keen on repeating the eleven hour drive Monday morning. So Hoop and I decided to break up the drive between Sunday night and Monday afternoon with a comfy hotel stay in between.
3. At least that's what I THOUGHT the plan was. Hoop the great money saver had other ideas.
4. After driving from eleven until one in the morning, I decided to nap and let Hoop drive for a bit. "Wake me when we're ready to get a hotel."
5. I woke up at three to find us parked at a rest stop.
6. Sweaty, sore and still in a face full of greasy make-up, I shoved Hoop over and angrily decided to continue driving.
7. Hoop woke at six to find us still on the road and only three hours from home. My eyes were like Moonpies.
8. He wisely decided we should pull over and get a hotel room. Never has a bed felt so damn good!
9. The next afternoon, since we were so close to home already, we decided to explore Hoop's old college town for a few hours.
10. First stop was the college. The next stop was a cow field Hoop used to go shrooming in. No shrooms. But Hoop DID manage to find some ticks as he was crawling back over the fence.
11. As we were leaving I noticed a sign at the entrance to the field. "CAUTION: WASTEWATER COLLECTION AND TREATMENT"
12. "Huh," Hoop said. "No wonder those shrooms were so big."
13. Nasty.
14. Despite protests from Hoop's Dad and brother, we decided to leave late on Sunday night. We had hoped to avoid traffic.
15. We were coming up to a hill smack dab in the middle of nowhere when I looked to the horizon and told Hoop, "It looks like the sky is on fire."
16. It wasn't. It was the lights of about thirty emergency vehicles reflecting off the trees. I thought the world was ending.
17. The road was blocked off by cones at the top of the hill, but we could see all the way down to the bottom and beyond. It was an ocean of ambulances, firetrucks and police cars.
18. Hoop pulled up to a truck that had just pulled over, light-bar flashing. "What's going on?" He asked the middle-aged gentleman who got out. "Is there a way around this?"
19. The man puffed up with self-importance. "I don't know. As you can see, there's been an accident. I'm needed over THERE." His wife hopped out of the truck behind him with a video camera.
20. We turned around and took refuge in a church parking lot. Another man was there, surveying the scene from his truck. "What happened?" Hoop asked.
21. The guy was tanked. "Car flipped," he slurred. "I uh... got there just after it happened."
22. I don't know what bothered me more, the fact that all this fuss was over one lone car or that the dude parked next to us might have caused it.

More tomorrow!

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: Just a moment. I have to find the right tape.
New Employee: Tape! You mean you guys are still using VHS?
Tink: Yup, afraid so.
New Employee: Are you even old enough to remember tapes?
Tink: Here it is.
New Employee: I bet I'm a lot older than you, huh?
Tink: Let me just rewind this.
New Employee: What are you, twenty-one? Twenty-two?
Tink: Here's the test. Let me know when you finish.
New Employee: But you have to be older than eighteen, right?
Tink: Good luck.
New Employee: Wait-
Tink: *Leaves and shuts door*
New Employee: -What am I doing again?
New Employee: HELLO?

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
Why does our society encourage old people to buy RVs? They can't even manage normal sized vehicles!

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Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WWC 28 Continued...


You've got to love a junkyard with a sense of humor. Although the mannequin legs are a little creepy. Maybe the ape in the backseat ate the rest of it.

This was a decoration in the bathroom of some backwoods gas station: dusty fake flowers in a thick vinyl "vase". Classy!


Also known as "Stamp Happy". I came home on Monday evening to find this gem on my front step. Check out what it was
here. Thanks again Gary! You do beautiful work.

I treasure every moment spent with these kiddos.

Don't forget, the words for next week are:

Daily Etsy Pick:
Pop Art Pooches

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 28!

The words for this week were Treasure and Junk.

Due to extreme road fatigue, photos won't be posted until tomorrow. I promise they'll be worth the wait. After I landed on the couch last night, somewhere between 8 and I-don't-give-a-shit-anymore p.m., I didn't move. I'm not sure I could move. For awhile I wondered if my fingers would be permanently stuck in a steering position.

Then I came into work this morning to find that two employees had called out sick for the week and that I had been unanimously nominated in to fill their spots. I love how these votes always happen when the person being voted on is conveniently GONE. Thanks assholes. So that pretty much blew my vacation recap post today too.

Until things get straightened out again, which will be tomorrow, feel free to comment here when you've posted your WWC pictures and stop by the other participants' blogs to check out their entries. Go on. I hear someone posted boobies. BOOBIES! And that's not just an immature ploy to get you to leave my blog either. No way.

The words for next week are:

If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details. Happy Snapping!


Friday, March 21, 2008

Hello Open Road

Good-bye ability to poop.

Maybe I should start eating bran now.

Feel free to loiter while I'm gone. But word to the wise, I've booby trapped the beer *cough*
Jay, the porn *cough*Edge, and the numbers to all my hot friends *cough* Van and R.E.H.. While I'm gone Chris' cats are in charge. Jo, your job is to look hot. Brody, you're in charge of providing the funny. If anything goes wrong, contact Hilary. She'll be outside taking pictures of local wildlife, i.e. armadillos and rednecks. Everyone else, just don't touch that big red button...


See you on Tuesday Homebloys!


Thursday, March 20, 2008

The Beer Bunny

You guys crack me up with all your compliments. Neutrogena ads indeed. Ha! I should probably mention that I own Photoshop, and use it liberally. I actually considered posting the unedited picture for you... But then the crazy wore off. You'll just have to imagine the red, puffy, blotchy face that came after a half hour of cussing and crying on Sunday afternoon. Obviously NOT the same face you see posted below. But thank you kindly anyway. I love you even though you're a bunch of ass kissers.

Oh, and for those who missed my answer in Tuesday's comments:

The "I Love My Hooker" sticker is one of the originals, believe it or not. It actually says, "I Love My Hooker Header", but I covered "Header" with magnets that say "unfortunate for him" some years ago. Hooker Headers sells racing equipment, so I can only assume the sticker was given to me by my Mom's second husband (an avid racing fan). Which could be kind of disturbing. Anyhoop, you can still find them on Ebay if you're interested.

I had a dream last night that the muscle in my left arm separated from the bone, causing it to look like I had a gigantic fleshy wing. Instead of fixing it, the doctors told me to start practicing how I posed my arm so it wouldn't show in Hoop's and my wedding photos. I remember being kind of disappointed that the wing didn't grant me the power to fly. I think this wedding is seriously fucking with my head guys. Although thankfully I'm not alone. Hoop had a dream that I ran away from home, never to be seen again.

We're heading to Tennessee after work tomorrow for the Easter Holiday. We went as far as getting Monday off, servicing Hoop's car, and washing all the clothes before we realized we hadn't actually told Hoop's Dad that we were coming. That could have been interesting. Drive eleven hours just to find out that no one is home. I think I might have kept going. I hear Canada is nice. By the way, I won't be blogging Monday. I'll be too busy driving the eleven hours back. One of you homebloys wouldn't happen to have a private jet, would you?

No? Just checking.

I heard of a strange Easter custom the other day. According to one of the local rednecks, a bunch of people freeze cans of beer the night before and then hide them like eggs for all the adults to find. You get to drink the ones you uncover. I tried to talk Hoop into doing it, but he didn't seem convinced. Apparently he doesn't believe in adopting local customs. So what about you? Does your family do anything out of the ordinary for the holidays? It doesn't have to be this holiday. I'm just looking for a few good traditions.


Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 27!

The words for this week were Foreign and Domestic.

How did you interpret them?


I was eight the year
"Salute Your Shorts" started airing on Nickelodeon. I loved it instantly. But it wasn't because I secretly wanted to go to summer camp. No. It was because I wanted one of those cool travel trunks all the campers kept at the foot of their beds. I begged all year for one of those trunks. Finally, I got one, straight from the Navy supply store.

The next step to making it "authentic" was to cover it in stickers from all the cool places I'd been. The only problem was, I hadn't been anywhere yet. Fortunately, my Grandparents were quite the travelers and they had no problem picking me up stickers from all their foreign destinations. So I filled the front and sides with all the gifts they delivered, saving the back for all the stickers I would one day (hopefully) collect.

Domestic Dispute

That's me, pouting on the side of the road.

(Random Pictures)

Tire Cape

Fowl Play

Artistic Graffiti

Twisted Flower

The words for next week are:

If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details. Happy Snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Coffee Addict Ring

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Monday, March 17, 2008

He's Alive!

Just for the record, Hoop did not actually eat something called the fatal potato berry. He is still very much alive. But thanks for your concern...

You dopes.

Weekend Recap:
1. Sunday and I had a date. It was going to be wonderful. The weather was in the high 70's and nothing had to be done around the house. We had big plans of spending our time together at the park.
2. Poor Sunday. She should know by now that I have really shitty luck.
3. As I was getting ready to take my brother back home (he'd spent the night Saturday), Hoop and I got into a nasty fight.
4. I said some things I don't quite regret and Hoop responded by giving me the stank-eye.
5. So I set off on my own, dreams of all the great adventures I was going to have (ALONE) dancing through my head.
6. Then I ran over a three inch deck screw on the way back from Big Bit's house.
7. Not willing to call mercy, I decided to fix the problem on my own. Armed with a gigantic blue beach towel, a screwdriver, and a can of Fix-A-Flat I went to work.
8. Three strapping men asked if I needed help. I denied them all.
9. I am woman, hear me scream profanity.
10. After twenty minutes of yanking on the damn thing, I finally realized that it would screw out of the tire fairly easily. Imagine that.
11. Once the screw was out, the air poured from the tire uninhibited. It was completely flat before I could even get the lid off the can.
12. It was after I was done, and the tire was still flat, that I decided to call Papa Bear for help.
13. Then I tried to clean up my mess. Unfortunately, the tire had flattened ON the gigantic towel. It looked like a cape. Like maybe my car had fallen on some hapless superhero.
14. This made more than one rubbernecker laugh. Pictures to come.
15. After the tire was fixed, I skipped plans to go to the park and grudgingly made my way home instead.
16. Maybe it's just as well. I might have gotten mauled by a rabid squirrel or something.

Movie Reviews:

Think Mad Max meets Saw. The premise of the movie was interesting. Because it dealt with the future and a deadly virus, I wanted to love it. But somewhere they lost me. Maybe it was with the rebels who didn't have enough food to keep from turning into cannibals, but had enough hair dye to last twenty-five years. If you DO see the movie, please tell me why they didn't just eat that huge herd of wild cows? Overall, the movie was entertaining. I wouldn't buy it, or watch it again. But if nothing else, it was worth the bashing that followed. I mean seriously, how likely is it that a car sitting in a cave twenty-five years is going to run without a problem? Hoop and I gave this flick two and a half sporks out of five.

No Country For Old Men
Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) may be the creepiest and most realistic bad guy I've ever seen on film. His performance was award winning. I cracked open a book at the beginning of the movie, not expecting to be that interested. The book sat in my lap for thirty minutes before I remembered it was there and put it down. For those who like a good mix of suspense, horror and good dialogue, check this movie out. Hoop and I gave it five out of five sporks.

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Don't Eat The Potato Berries

I remember the alarm going off this morning.

I was sure it went off.

I rolled over and told Hoop it was time to start waking up. Usually he gives me some sort of reply, a mumble at least. But this time I got nothing. I turned to the dog as I scooted toward the end of the bed, cuddling my face into his neck. He didn't even stir. "Why am I so tired?" I thought as I was sitting on the pot. No matter. I turned on the shower and disrobed. Then it dawned on me. Something was really off. I could barely open my eyes. Shuffling back to the bedroom, I looked at the clock.


As in "the afternoon"? Shit, we're late! I looked outside. It was still dark. Obviously the clock was wrong. I picked up my cellphone. 11:59. What the fuck? What was the last thing I remembered doing? Hadn't I been watching a show? Yes, Lost. That ended at ten and then we turned on... South Park! That couldn't have been on any later than eleven. When that ended we went to bed. That means I've only been asleep for- an hour? No way. Confused and full of doubt, I stood there for a minute longer before finally crawling back into bed.

You know that feeling you get when you wake up earlier than you have to and then get to go back to bed? You almost feel like you've cheated the system, like you've stolen those extra fifteen/thirty/sixty (whatever) minutes of sleep. Now imagine realizing you have SIX HOURS more than you thought you did. Six whole hours! It was like having my birthday and Christmas all in one. Only better, because those people get screwed.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(After watching "
Into The Wild".)
Hoop: *Clutching stomach* Ohhhh.
Tink: Are you OK?
Hoop: No. I ate some bad berries.
Tink: Oh. I see.
Hoop: At lunch.
Tink: Uh-huh.
Hoop: They were fatal potato berries.
Tink: POTATO berries?
Hoop: It's not funny.
Tink: So... Do you forage for lunch often?


A good
friend of mine, and fellow blogger, had a tragedy happen to her and her family this week. Do me a favor, go over to Nettie's blog and spread some love. She could do with a little extra attention today.

Have a splendiferous weekend Homebloys!

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Wednesday, March 12, 2008


Does anyone ELSE want to ask me why I don't have an entry for "ceramic"?


You people are picture Nazis.

In other news, the people at the drug store last night made me give my ID and then sign my soul away to buy Sudafed. I was expecting them to deliver it to me in a Hazmat suit next. Are we sure this shit is safe? Maybe I don't want to take it. Then Hoop had to go and screw with the cashier. "I'd like thirty boxes, please." I could practically see her hand hovering over the 911 speed dial. She gauged him to be joking, fortunately. I could tell by the way she answered him when he said he was going to take all the pills at one time. "Go ahead," she replied. It was almost a dare.

I had a dream last night that I had a pet squirrel. His name was Stu. We took all kinds of goofy pictures together. Then he turned rabid and I had to kill him. Then I went on Etsy this morning and saw
this. Coincidence? I think so. I can't believe that woman wants $21 for that thing. Bleh. Just because she owns a glue gun, does not mean she should USE it. The only thing that made up for it was that I found this. Then I went "Squeeee!" Not really. Who says squeeee? But I was kind of blue afterwards. Who knew there were so many talented and brilliant people in the world. How am I ever going to take it over?

My boss is gone for the week. But that doesn't mean the quiet of the sales room has extended to MY office. No. The sound of my boss's aggravated nose whistles has followed him from Alabama straight into my phone. He's called no less than five times since Monday, instructing me to send various business-related things to his Crackberry. I finally told him that maybe he should just skip having fun and come back to the office. He hasn't called since. Perhaps I should take my vacation next week. It might not be safe to come in.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I went to the gas station and the *Unabomber called me "sweetheart"!
Hoop: No way.
Tink: He even smiled when he said it.
Hoop: Like a normal human being?
Tink: Uh huh.
Hoop: You know, the only other time I've seen him act nice was when there was a hot chick in line. I think he has a thing for the ladies.
Tink: Maybe.
Hoop: He's a sexy terrorist.

*What Hoop and I nicknamed the gas station attendant because he always looks like he wants to blow the place up.

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Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 26!

The words for this week were Paper and Ceramic.

How did you interpret them?


(Random Pictures)


Jesus Is In The Air

(Sea World Pictures)

Sea Lion Profile


Show Off

Nap Time

Nap Time 2

Dolphin Smile

Red Legs

More on Flickr!

The words for next week are:

If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details. Happy Snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Leather Masks

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Monday, March 10, 2008

Magnum P.I.E.

My brain is too mushy for thought. Have some recipes instead.

(Created by Tink's Mom)
French vanilla cake mix
2 whole eggs
1 egg white
1/4 cup vegetable oil
Add water as directed on box
3/4 can pure pumpkin (NOT pumpkin pie filling)
Bake as directed on box
Top with vanilla frosting

Not only are these cupcakes lower in calories and fat, they're also a good source of beta-carotene. Neither my brothers nor I like pumpkin, but we LOVE these.

1 part Parrot Bay Coconut Rum
1 part Peach Vodka
2 parts Pineapple Juice
Splash of Sprite
Splash of Grenadine

1/4 cup honey
2 tablespoons balsamic or red wine vinegar
1 1/2 cups dried bread crumbs (Italian)
1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
6-8 butterfly or thin-sliced porkchops

Preheat oven to 375°F.
In shallow bowl, whisk together honey and vinegar; set aside.
Pour bread crumbs into separated bowl; set aside.
Spread oil over foil-lined baking pan.
Roll porkchop pieces in honey mixture, then in bread crumbs; place onto pan.
Bake for 30 minutes, or until cooked thoroughly.

*Regular posting (and WWC) will resume tomorrow!


Friday, March 07, 2008

Farvel February

Shit. Did you all know it's MARCH already?

February Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Thursday.
2. The most popular hour being 3pm.
3. The top referrer was Joel by a landslide (324 clicks).
4. The most used search term was, "slang for intercourse".
5. My favorite search terms were "men can poop," and "coffee iv please".
6. The highest hit post (543) was on February 14th, the day Hoop left on his all-dude
camping trip.

29 Quirks For 29 Days:
1. I love little items of mystery...
2. ...lock-less keys and unmatched silverware...
3. ...buttons without shirts and pretty bottle caps.
4. These treasures quickly turn into stories or artwork in my head.
5. I'd be a pack rat if I didn't watch myself.
6. When Hoop stumbles on a word that cracks me up, he finds a reason to use it during every conversation.
7. Like "ginger", or "burple", or "smushie". All three send me into a fit of giggles I can't help or explain.
8. I would rather be a little crazy than a little boring.
9. Growing up, I had a best friend who was adopted. Her siblings were ten, fifteen, and eighteen years older than her. I always thought it odd that her adoptive parents waited so long.
10. Then her Mother explained it to me one day, in front of the rest of the girl's family. Before they'd adopted my friend, they'd seriously considered buying a monkey. When they couldn't find a monkey, they settled on a baby instead.
11. It's been ten years and I still haven't gotten over my own mortification. My friend, on the other hand, acted as if it were no big deal!
12. Rotten food grosses me out more than bodily functions.
13. I have never driven in snow.
14. It's been six and a half months since I quit smoking...
15. ...but I fantasize about it every day.
16. Life would be so much better if it had a soundtrack.
17. If it did, do you think they'd make us pay by the song?
18. I've always thought orange a rather unloved color.
19. Blue is the obvious choice for most popular.
20. I often wonder if there are colors we can't see.
21. And if we can't see them, can we even imagine what they look like?
22. My dream job would be in a zoo.
23. Not like, in the food court, but actually handling animals.
24. Too bad I have absolutely no experience with that sort of thing.
25. Unless you count taming a demon dog into a civilized pet. But he was all of fifteen pounds at the time, hardly a lion.
26. I can be talked into just about anything after a good foot rub.
27. After reading a book, I usually have to give myself a day to let the characters in my head go to rest.
28. Otherwise they mingle with the next book's characters, creating bizarre storylines in my mind.
29. I've been known to fall in love with a person's voice.
*30. Only to fall out of love with their face.
*31. I put garlic in EVERYTHING but sweets.
*32. I would love to go play in the rain...
*33. ...without the repercussion of getting wet.

Not Far From The Tree:
Mom: Aren't you excited we're going to Sea World tomorrow?
Lil Bit: Oh yeah.
Mom: When's the last time you were there?
Lil Bit: Um, I've NEVER been there.
Mom: What? Are you sure?
Lil Bit: Uh-huh.
Mom: Didn't we take you-
Lil Bit: Nope.
Mom: Really?!
Lil Bit: No. You've never taken me to Sea World, Mom.
Mom: Wow, sweetie. I'm so sorry!
Lil Bit: Yeah, it's OK. I'm just the third child.

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!

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Thursday, March 06, 2008


Hoop woke me in the middle of the night with a cry out of sleep...


I lay there for at least ten minutes trying to figure out what it meant. Had he meant "Bomb!" or "Broom!" or maybe "Bra!"? I felt his skin flinching under the strain of some imagined movement. I tried to pull away and look, but he had ahold of my arm as if I were a floatation device. He kept mumbling and something in the haziness of my sudden awakening made me feel slightly panicked. Was I was the buoy keeping him from tumbling into a nightmare? I don't know how long I lay there, awake but not, too afraid to move even though my arm was tingling.

Finally, as the twitches slowed and then stopped, I felt safe enough to pull my arm away. But sleep didn't come back to me willingly. I tossed around in my sliver of space, careful not to kick the dogs or Hoop. What did it mean? "I'll ask him in the morning," I thought. I was sure Hoop would remember. As soon as the alarm went off this morning, Hoop turned to me and covered my nose in kisses. The night's events came back to me in a flood. "You yelled 'Braum' in your sleep last night!" I blurted. Hoop was quiet. I wondered if he'd heard me. Maybe he fell back asleep?

"Pfft," he said, suddenly. "Oh-kay."

"I'm serious! You yelled 'Braum' in your sleep. It actually woke me up!"

"I did NOT."

"Oh my God, how can you not believe me?!"

"I don't talk in my sleep."

He doesn't even remember what he was dreaming about. The next time he yells in his sleep and wakes me up in the middle of the night, I'm going to flick him in the forehead. Then I'm going to ask him what he was dreaming about, right then, while it's still fresh in his head. Braum indeed. I'm so tired, my eyes feel like they're bobbing around in my head like marshmallows. No amount of coffee will wake me from my stupor. Perhaps I'll curl up under my desk for a minute or two... So tell me a bedtime story, will you?

What's the strangest dream you've ever had?

Btw: The second picture in Tuesday's post is of an odd hole in the city gate surrounding St. Augustine. The rumor is, it was once used to fire guns out of. Although it's just as likely that it was where the drawbridge connected to the coquina.


Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 25!

The words for this week were Stone and Glass.

How did you interpret them?



(Random Pictures)

Do Not Feed The Zombie!

I brought Chewsocca to work yesterday and then didn't have the room in my tote to bring him home again. Not wanting to scare the cleaning people, I thought I'd attach a little note of warning to my friend. I came in this morning and Chewsocca was exactly where I'd left him. No sign of the cleaning lady though...

White Flowers

White Flowers (In Blue)

The words for next week are:

P.S. Next week we'll start a new theme.

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Monday, March 03, 2008

Paper Cups

Hoop crashed out at seven o'clock on Saturday night, leaving me to my boredom and a six pack of Bacardis. Before I drank, I tried to fight the monotony with origami. I'll admit, I had dreams of grandeur. Without having ever made so much as a paper fan, I was already visualizing the swans and tulips I was going to create. I was going to be a natural. Hoop was going to wake up in the morning to a house full of elegant paper art and exclaim that I was a genius.

After two hours, my excitement had waned, leaving me with a colorful pile of paper balls. Paper cups seemed to be the only thing I was capable of making. Although to be fair, I made a paper piano too, but it looked more like a bench than anything. It was as I was cleaning up the cups that I started to wonder if the things could actually hold water. Hey, if the end of the world ever comes, it might be nice to have someone in your party that can make a usable cup...

...or boat. In which case, I am NOT your chick. Sorry.

Any guesses what I filled my cup with? Bacardi. Then I thought, "Well, I shouldn't waste the rest of the bottle." I'm sure this is how all alcoholics begin, with origami cups. So I took my six pack into the computer room and I closed the door. It was around two in the morning that I started to wonder if I was drunk. The six pack was gone and I had filled my IPod with (*now questionable) music. I decided I would test my theory by blogging.

Unfortunately I forgot to post it, thus proving that I was probably pretty toasted. I opened my Blogger dashboard this morning, saw the post and thought, "Oh yeahhhhh. THAT'S what I did on Saturday night!" It was kind of fortunate too I guess. Not because I'm not going to give it to you, but because it really needed an introduction. So... Ta-dah. Here is your introduction. Now enjoy the stupid show:

I thik maybe I'm drunk. Just a little bit. Am still very witty though. I cracked myself up just a moment ago. Hey, I sound like Bridget Jones! Blah, blah, blah. I have a cute British accent. Blah, blah, blah. Can't talk in complete sentences. What the hell is up with that? I wanted to go through her diary with a red pen. If there is anyone who needs an editor for her own private thoughts, it's that broad. Although I probably need a sensor for mine. Someone to rate things before I say them. "Sorry, I can't let that one out. It's an 'R' and we're clearly in a 'PG13' environment. I'll just file that away until tonight. What about this? It involves puppies. Nice, safe, puppies. There you go." Wow. I am so self entertaining. I wonder what Hoop is dreaming about. Maybe I should go tickle his toes and find out? Peace out Homebloys.

*On a separate note, one of the songs I downloaded on Saturday night is titled, "Music is my hot, hot sex." I'm afraid to listen to it.

How was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?

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