Friday, February 29, 2008

Fizzy Logic

(Now ten times better than fuzzy logic!)

The one difference between men and women is...

-Well shit, there's a lot of them.-

Men spend their money in really stupid ways. Like on five-hundred dollars worth of Garbage Pail Kid cards. No, of course I didn't LET him. But the point is, he wanted to. It started off innocently enough. Hoop expressed a wish to collect them. I thought, "Cool, a hobby!" So like the idiot good fiancé I am, I encouraged him. What's the harm in a buying a few two-dollar cards here and there?

But Hoop decided he didn't have the patience to collect them a few at a time, he wanted have them ALL, RIGHT NOW. See, by the caps you can tell the seriousness of his tone. In reply I said, "HA HA HA. I DON'T THINK SO, BUDDY." Again, with the caps. Then he mumbled, "IdowhatIwant." But he didn't buy them. Which is good, because they would have made really lousy wedding favors.

Women are so much more sensible.

Which brings me around to my most recent purchase...

A sock zombie.

I named him Chewsocca. He's got a toehawk!

He's my tote protection, in case anyone tries to steal my books. He was made by an awesome chick named
Erin. Click that, it's her blog. Not only is she crafty and has a sick love for zombies (which I share), she's super funny. Tell her I sent you and that Chewie says hi. She'll probably be like, "WHO?!" But whatever. If you would like to adopt one of Chewie's brothers or sisters, you can check out Erin's Etsy shop here: UNDERROOS.

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!


Thursday, February 28, 2008

No Good

No good could come of my broken brain today.

All I can think of is work, and the idiots around me who orbit like dysfunctional satellites. I walk to the coffee pot and they circle, asking things like "How do you spell 'scratch'?" Grown men, old enough to be my father, and they can't spell at a third grade level! When I complained to the receptionist she replied, "Don't they have spellcheck?" As if THAT were the point. I walk back to my desk and they swoop in to gather data. "How do you forward an email?" "How do you put paper in the printer?" "Can you fix this for me?" I want to stab at them with my stapler, screaming "Back! Back!"

But I don't. Instead I calmly go and fix their problems, answer their queries, tell them there are no stupid questions. But I'm lying. There really ARE stupid questions. I hear about a hundred a day. Last night I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend's wife broke into our house because she wanted to see what were we're all about. But the roof was caving in and it reeked of cat pee. She acted appalled and quickly declined my offer of coffee. "We don't have any cats," I remember thinking. "This isn't what we're about!" I yelled after her. Then I closed the door and cried. I don't know why. It's all so strange.

My parent's, the biological one and the adopted, aren't speaking to each other at the moment. So I can't act happy until they're through. It just wouldn't do. I can't talk about the cute things Hoop said to me today, or the way I woke up smelling his hair and I didn't want to leave the bed. I can't talk about how he has annoyed me lately either. That would clearly mark me on the side of my Mother... or man-haters... or women in general. So I don't talk. It's not safe. Instead, I watch the clock and wait for the day to change. Is it the weekend yet? Can I stop pretending to be nice, or to care, or that I'm really sane under here?

Like I said... No good can come of my broken brain today.

Spam Subjects:
(In the order I received them)
When We're Together I secretly blame my farts on you.
Revolter What is... A gun that makes you sick.
Grinning Ear To Ear Has anyone ever stopped to imagine how WEIRD that would look?
Misunderstood? Not really. They all pretty much understand that I'm a nut.

January Search Terms:
(What people type into search engines that gets them here)
my hamster got shaken what can I do Oh no! Quick, reverse time.
warmed cockles
I hate elves Me too. Unless they're making me rice crispie treats... or cookies.
sesame street squares are really rectangles
homemade nair Removes the skin as well as the hair!

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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 24!

The words for this week were Wood and Metal.

How did you interpret them?



Metal and Wood

(Random Pictures)

Standing Out

Scottish Jig

Ginger Jam

Made with real

War Paint


The one on the left is Papa Bear

Sick Vending Machine

Now they're selling weight loss pills in the food court at the mall?!

More pictures on FLICKR.

The words for next week are:

If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details. Happy Snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Inner Redneck

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Slow Zombies

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I had a dream that we committed a crime and were on the run.
Hoop: Oh yeah? What did we do?
Tink: I don't know. The dream started after we did it.
Hoop: Well, that kind of takes the fun out of it.
Tink: I know! So then we beat this random chick up so I'd feel better.
Hoop: Smooth.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: I had a dream that everyone was turning into zombies.
Hoop: That sucks.
Tink: Yeah, but they were slow zombies. So I just walked around them.
Hoop: Was I a zombie?
Tink: Uh huh. Then you ran off to find some food because I was immune from the zombie virus and you couldn't kill me.
Hoop: Mmmm. Brains.
Tink: And Duff (our dog) was a zombie too. Then I went to a wedding and the couple turned into zombies just as they were saying "I do". It was really sad.
Hoop: Sounds like it.
Tink: But then a priest stopped me on the way out of the chapel and gave me some green hacky sacks. He said, "Here my child. These will help you." But there were only five, so I had to use them wisely.
Hoop: Hacky sacks?
Tink: They only LOOKED like hacky sacks. If you threw them on the ground and stomped on them, they released a zombie anti-virus.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: I tried to be slick and break one in-between the newly married couple, hoping it would cure them both. But it only cured them for a few minutes. So then I cured Duff and we went looking for you.
Hoop: Good plan.
Tink: I know.


The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Do yourself a favor and throw away your money right now. This movie was so horrible, Hoop and I stopped watching it 9/10ths of the way through. We couldn't even stand to stick around for the last ten minutes of the movie. At least twenty minutes of the film was taken up with Brad Pitt staring off into space, or at someone, who was likewise staring off into space. More than once I screamed at the screen, "DO SOMETHING!" Movies should not be this painful to watch. The real shame of it was that I insisted on buying this hunk of junk because I was sure it was going to be a keeper. Hoop and I gave this movie zero out of five sporks.

One word, HOT. Hot actors, hot action, hot superpower. Sign me up for a sequel! After a sad run of reject-movies, Hoop and I were glad to find something with a little more "oomph" in it. The movie goes quick and the special effects keep you hooked. There is definitely some charisma between Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson. Although I wouldn't call this the blockbuster of the year, it's definitely worth the price of admission. Hoop and I give this flick four out of five sporks.

WWC tomorrow!

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Friday, February 22, 2008

Over Dramatic

It's official...

I'm never going to be an actress.

Btw, there's no need for concerned emails. I do NOT have jaundice. Nor is my bathroom really that yellow. The 1980's lighting in this house sucks. If you would like to see my other vlogging catastrophes masterpieces, click on the "Vlog" label below. Or you could click on the "Stupidity" label; I'm sure there's plenty of crap to make your brain rot on there.

Daily Etsy Pick:
Elephant Mug
(Or as I like to call it, "The-Cup-That-Will-Never-Forget." But maybe that's too long. I dunno. Today's pick has been created by a fellow blogger, the amazingly talented GR. Show some love and buy some stuff.)

Have a wonderful weekend Homebloys!

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Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Pictures, Take Two


I found this key and lock behind my desk. Oddly, it doesn't actually lock anything.

I found this Queen of Clubs lying on the ground, presumably napping.

After Hoop left, I went to work on the laundry, and I haven't found the top of the table since.


If you haven't already, check out the other WWC photogs in the comment section of yesterday's post!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Waist Candy

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Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 23!

The words for this week were Found and Curve.

I took pictures; I was just too preoccupied to load them onto the computer last night. With Hoop having been gone for four days, I figured it might be a little rude to hide myself away for a couple hours on his first night back. So look for my entries tomorrow. In the meantime, check the comments on this post to see who participated today. Show your love and check them out!

The words for next week are:


If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details. Happy Snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Map Art

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Monday, February 18, 2008


Not Far From The Tree:
Lil Bit's Friend: There are these people that crap in bottles-
Mom: They do what?
Tink: That would be tricky to manuever.
LBF: -and they let it ferment-
Lil Bit: Ewww!
LBF: -than they huff it to get high.
Mom: I don't believe you.
LBF: It's true!
Mom: Uh huh.
LBF: They call it Butt Hash.

Weekend Recap:
1. Hoop arrived home at 1:30 this morning...
2. ...and got up at 6:30 to get ready for work.
3. Despite the lack of sleep, he was UP *cough* and ready to go this morning.
4. Unfortunately, I was not.
5. After waiting until midnight last night for him, and waking every thirty minutes after because I thought I heard a key in the door, I was zombified from the time my alarm blared this morning until lunch.
6. When I say I'm not a morning person, I mean the ENTIRE morning.
7. Spending the weekend with my family was nice. Saturday night, Papa Bear was on call for his job and my brothers were spending the night at friends'. So Mom and I went to see "
The Spiderwick Chronicles."

MOVIE REVIEW: It was after a rather unpromising start that I turned to Mom and said, "You know, we could have watched ANYTHING." Leave it to us to pick a kid's movie the one night we're kid-free. Fortunately, the movie got better as it went along, a lot better. The story didn't feel at all rushed, which is the plight of so many book-to-movie conversions (think Harry Potter and The Golden Compass). The computer animation was stunning. The acting was believable, and the tale itself was truly captivating. I can't wait to read the books. Mom and I gave this movie five out of five sporks.

8. Sunday morning Mom, Lil Bit, Lil Bit's friend Chance, and I went shopping. The boys, both 13/14 years old, amused us with their pessimistic teenage views and abuse of the words "uber" and "super".
9. At one point I told Chance I was going to hurt him if he said uber one more time. He told me I was uber-scary.
10. Later that night, on the way home, I had to pull over the car to wrestle a cupcake from my dog.
11. Apparently he likes them as much as I do.
12. Of course Hoop had to call at that precise moment.
13. As he passed the phone around to various family members, I tried to act interested while simultaneously playing tug-o-war with a Rat Terrier and a cupcake plate.
14. I'm pretty sure I accidentally told Nash he was a "bad dog".
15. The happy ending is, my cupcakes were saved, Hoop is home, and another Monday is almost done. Yay!

How was your weekend?

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Friday, February 15, 2008

I'm Addicted... Etsy.

It's all
Chris' fault.

It's become this sickness. I go on there and spend HOURS admiring all the beautiful, handmade stuff. Like
these, and this. Ooo, and this! So, if I've been sporadic in my commenting and posting lately it's because I've sold my soul to Etsy. I know, I'm a Blogger traitor. I can't help it. I'm weak!

Some of you asked in yesterday's comments what I'm reading right now. I just finished
"Water For Elephants" by Sara Gruen last week, which was PHENOMENAL. Now I'm reading "Under The Banner Of Heaven", a book about the Mormon cult religion, by Jon Krakauer. The book is both fascinating and scary. If it weren't for the fluidity of the writing, I'm not sure I'd be able to continue. Next on my list is "13th Tale" by Diane Setterfield. Good God, could I possible shove anymore links into this post?

Last night was pretty boring. I was OK when I got home. I made dinner, played with the pups, and then read until LOST came on. But after the show was over, I sat there for about ten minutes trying to figure out what to do with myself. Total time Hoop will be gone, 77 hours. Total time it took me to miss him, 4 hours. It's going to be a loooong weekend. I'm not one of those needy, have-to-be-around-people chicks either. I genuinely like my alone time. But I also like to decide when I'm ready to not be alone again.

In Other News:
(I'm also addicted to LOLCATS now. I think I can blame that one on Chris too. She's such a pusher.)

Have a fantastic weekend Homebloys!

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Thursday, February 14, 2008


Hoop's leaving tonight for an all-dude camping trip in the Tennessee mountains. I'm sure I could have gone if I'd whined enough. But honestly, I didn't want to. Three days of camping in the freezing cold without the ability to take a shower? No thank you. But I made sure to pack Hoop some hand sanitizer and mouth wash. Mom told me to pick up some bug spray too. I didn't have the heart to tell her that there won't be any bugs in 27 degree weather. It was a nice thought though.

The concept of backpacking is kind of new to me. When I went camping as a kid, it was always with a cooler full of food. We never used air mattresses, but we always had a tent. The bait store was only two blocks around the lake and there were always a bunch of kids to play with. The last time I went camping was with my Dad, his girlfriend, and her daughter. We brought an RV. The girlfriend's daughter and I elected to sleep in a tent outside so we could smoke weed and listen to Eminem on the portable stereo. We woke up the next morning and went to an amusement park. Yeah, we were roughing it alright.

When I told my coworker where Hoop was going, she asked me if he had a compass. Only instead of pronouncing it "kuhm-puhs", she said "kohmp-ess". Which is like her telling me that her sister works at "Tinsel Light" and finding out today that it's spelled, "Tensolite". Which is beside the point. But I'm glad to realize that her sister does NOT work for a factory that makes unsafe tree decorations, which is what I've thought for the last six years. The point is, Floridians are stupid when it comes to weather. STUPID.

Do you know what Hoop packed besides the assumed underwear and socks? T-shirts. The boy doesn't own a single sweater. He justified it by saying that he was bringing both a hoodie AND a jacket. Like that was somehow going to cut it. I should have packed him some heat pads... Or a parka. So tonight and tomorrow look like they're going to be pretty quiet at the Tink-Hoop house. I'm going to hole up with a movie, a book, and two cuddly puppies. It'll be OK. I'll just keep reminding myself that Sunday will be here before I know it.


Is it Sunday yet?

Posts Of PB Past
(Where I finally get around to addressing comments from previous posts)

Weekly Words Challenge 21!:
Farmer*swife requested to see my ring. For those who missed it, you can see pictures of my bling HERE.

Sparkling Red, thanks for the warning about ingesting the contents of compressed (canned) air. Rest assured, I did not actually cool my coffee with it. But I thought about it. I won't lie.

Time Wasters (Not So) Anonymous: Those who answered, figured out where the title of the newest
Twisted chapter came from. But did anyone figure WHY? You can see the answer here. I thought the deception in the story fitting for the meaning of the song.

Btw, Happy Totally-Overrated-Hallmark-Holiday-Where-People-Buy-Loads-Of-Pink-Crap Day! Hoop and I celebrated early with a romantic dinner last night. Just before the food arrived, the waitress dropped off a box of Dove Truffles and a dozen roses to our table. Oh yeah, my boy is gooood.


Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 22!

The words for this week were Motion and Suspend.

How did you interpret them?



(Random Pictures)

Office Entertainment


Even though I know they're there, they still keep freaking me out.

Happy Elephant

What the hell??


The words for next week are:


If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details.


Monday, February 11, 2008

I Fought The Floor

...and the floor won.

Have I ever mentioned that I'm a klutz? I was spot cleaning the tile on Saturday morning when I accidentally spilled the bowl of water on the floor. Being the lazy economical person that I am, I decided to spread the water around and clean the rest of the tile too. Then I went to the kitchen, turned around, and slipped on the soaking wet floor. As I lay there, head on the stereo and arm pinned beneath me, I thought "That sounded like someone slapping two fish together! Was that my thighs?!" No really, that's what I thought. Then I wailed, "Ow!" loud enough for Hoop to hear.

"Oh babe." Hoop fussed, lifting me off the floor. "Are you OK?" After testing to make sure nothing was broken, I started to laugh. I mean seriously, who forgets the floor is wet MOMENTS after they clean it? Almost two years ago, not long after Hoop and I had met, we were watching T.V. when I heard the dog knock over his water dish in the kitchen. So I got up, surveyed the damage, and then walked through the water on my way to get a towel. You can see where this is going. I hit my hip so hard that time that I had problems sitting for two weeks! It's amazing Hoop hasn't wrapped me in bumpers.

Weekend Recap:
1. Friday night, Hoop and I ate dinner at one of the places we were considering for our wedding reception.
2. The food was amazing. The only thing that bothered me was the wait-staff. Although the place would be considered "fine dinning", most of the diners were dressed in blue jeans and Polos. The staff, on the other hand, were dressed in suits and ties.
3. "More bread?" Our waiter asked, leaning over the table at me with his huge silver platter. "Um- Yes, please?" It's hard to pretend to be refined when you're wearing yesterday's pants and your significant other is making jokes about the geriatric piano player.
4. Overall though, we really loved the Southern charm of the place. You can see a picture (I stole off the Internet) of it below.

5. Mom, Lil Bit, and I went back on Saturday night to make a deposit. Now to find a place to actually get married. Woof.
6. After checking out the venue, we headed to the mall, where Mom and I tried in vain to convince my thirteen-year-old brother to go see "27 Dresses".
7. Yeah I know. But it was worth a try. I mean, he went and saw "Juno" with us last weekend!
8. Apparently there's only so many chick flicks a dude can handle in a month.

How was your weekend?

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Friday, February 08, 2008

Time Wasters (Not So) Anonymous

Phew. I've been working on a new chapter for Twisted all day. Go check it out! It's called "A Song Of Sixpence." A hundred spork points for the person who can explain why I named it that. Yeah, I don't know what they're good for. Maybe they'll be curency for the etsy store I hope to open one day. I'm not sure what I'll sell yet. I'm thinking dust bunnies, which I have an abundance of right now. Maybe stock in Sporktopia. Whatever. Just go check it out.

See you on Monday Homebloys!

P.S. Don't forget, the
WWC words for this week are MOTION and SUSPEND. Happy snapping!


Wednesday, February 06, 2008


Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Wow, babe. Your ass is like a steak.
Tink: Um- Thanks?

Around The Water Cooler:
Coworker: What are you doing?
Tink: Noth-ing. *Sheepish Look*
Coworker: Is that bubblewrap?
Tink: No.
Coworker: Are you covering your floor with it?
Tink: Just under my chair.
Coworker: *Blink*
Tink: Want to roll across it?
Coworker: Don't you have work to do?
Tink: Yeah. But the work I have is so damn boring that I've bored myself before I've even begun! I thought this would keep me from falling asleep.
Coworker: You've lost your damn mind.
Tink: Well duh.
(Pictures to come)

Quote Of The Day:
Hypothetically, do you think it's safe to cool your coffee with one of those canned air things?

Totally Random and Cool Email Stuff:

First Male Engineer

Happy Hump Day!

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Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 21!

The words for this week were Narrow and Broad, and again my suckiness prevailed. The battery on my camera went thbth over the weekend and instead of charging it then I was all like, "Eh. I'll do it later." Next thing I knew, it was nine o'clock last night and I was making hand-vaginas out of desperation. That was going to be the picture for "narrow" by the way. I had a picture of a hand-gina pushing out the head of a teddy bear in mind for "broad". Aren't you amazed by my maturity? Astounding for a twenty-five year old, I know.

So for your viewing pleasure I bring you...

Pictures of WWCs Past!


How did you interpret the words?



The words for next week are:


If you haven't joined the fun, go
here for details.


Monday, February 04, 2008

Creeping Crud

There are many things I didn't hear until I came to the South, the sonic boom of a NASA spacecraft being one of them. I really thought the world was ending that day. It wasn't very nice of the bus driver to laugh. On the list are also the terms "fixin' ta" and "wannago", as in "I'm fixin' ta go to the store. Wannago?" There's also the classic "ya'll", not to be outdone by its plural version "ya'lls". Ever tried to explain to a redneck that "ya'll" doesn't need a plural because it's ALREADY one? I'd rather cut off my thumbs than have that conversation again.

Oh, and let's not forget "brung" and "conversate". I don't care if they're in the online dictionary, they're not real words! Southerners also get creative with cussing alternatives. Instead of Jesus Christ it's "Jiminy Cricket" or "cheese and rice". Instead of son-of-a-bitch it's "son-of-a-biscuit-eater". Any festival is a "rodeo". Trucks are "bubbas" and hunting season is a holiday. Boots can be dress shoes and antlers make awesome hood ornaments. Camouflage goes with everything, although I'm not sure who in the mall they're hiding from. I got used to it.

Then they start pulling this shit on me:

Coworker: Ugh.
Tink: Are you OK?
Coworker: No, I have the creepy crap.
Tink: The creepy-what?
Coworker 2: He means the creeping crud.
Tink: Creeping crud.
Coworker: Naw, that's what I had last week.
Tink: So the creeping crud turns into the creepy crap?
Coworker: Exactly!
Tink: Just stay away from me.

Weekend Recap:
1. Friday night, Hoop and I stayed up until 2am watching "
3:10 To Yuma". I was pushing for 3:10, but I just couldn't hang that long.
2. Movie Review: For someone who isn't big into westerns, I was expecting a lot from this movie. Everyone kept saying that this would be the film that converted me. Well, it didn't. Although I liked Crowe's performance, I thought the movie as a whole pretty boring. There was just enough action to keep me from falling asleep. The only satisfying part was at the end, and even then the foreshadowing ruined it from being a surprise. Overall, Hoop and I rate this movie three out of five sporks.
3. Saturday afternoon Hoop and I went and checked out a potential wedding/reception location.
4. We liked the place instantly. The building is designed to look like an old Victorian mansion. The banquet room we'd be using overlooks a courtyard and has multiple skylights.
5. The best feature of all though was the price. $350 for four hours! Included in the cost are all the linens, plates, and clean-up fees. Cha-ching!
6. The one drawback was the actual ceremony locations. One faced a swimming pool and the other was situated on a tiny slab of concrete facing another banquet hall. Hm.
7. So we're going to try and check out some more possibilities this week before making up our mind. Cross your fingers nothing books for the weekend we've picked out.
8. Have I mentioned how good I am with this stuff? No? Well that's because I'm NOT. If we were rich I'd hire someone to do this for me. Like dude, just tell me where to be and what time.
9. All day Sunday, Hoop and I cleaned the house. I don't think our place has EVER been so neat. The reason behind our madness was because Hoop's boss was coming over to watch the game.
10. Everything went great. There was plenty of food, the boss was impressed with our digs, the team we were cheering for won, and I got smashingly drunk.
11. Even drunk, I made sure I cleaned up all the mess before going to bed. "Now that the house is clean, I'm never going to let it get dirty again!" I thought stupidly.
12. Then I woke up this morning and found dirty plates stashed under the coffee table.
13. Under the coffee table! I live with a pig. Did I ever tell you about the time I went to Hoop's apartment and cleaned?

13. I knew him all of two weeks.
14. It was THAT bad.
15. Although if you ask Hoop, he'd say it's because I'm THAT anal.

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Friday, February 01, 2008

My Inner Geek

Anyone here into LOST?

If you go on the
Oceanic Airlines site, copy the text on the homepage and then paste it somewhere else you get this:

If anyone should find this message, please get word I'm alive and stranded on an island somewhere in the South Pacific. Please send help soon. Things are bad. And they're getting worse...

I survived a horrific plane crash and am stranded on an island somewhere Northeast of Australia and Southwest of Hawaii. In the event that I am never found, please forward word of my fate to my parents.


(Picture duplicated and then flipped)

Also, if you go to the "Track Flight" section and click "Track" next to the first option, you'll see this message among the flight information:

572 Giveus THE 08:00 24:00 -- BOY 08:00 24:00 --

If you click on "Track" of the second option it brings you to a seating chart for the plane. Click on "Pre-board Check-In". What you see next is the name "Ethan Rom" and a bunch of blank boxes. Click and drag the letters until they spell out "Other Man", the anagram of Ethan's name. A clip of Walt being taken by the Others suddenly appears. Creepy huh?

Then, if you click on the seating arrangement in the numbers of Hurley's winning lotto ticket (4,8,15,16,23,42) you get another clip from season two as well as being directed to another
site. Obviously this stuff is pretty old, we're already on season four. But I was tickled that I found it on my own. It's kind of like finding the clue sites for Cloverfield here and here. I know, I'm such a nerd.

Look for another post later!