The End?

So I've done it. I've written the last chapter of Twisted (Tink), and it only took me two and a half years to do! I would like to thank everyone who has followed along on it's journey, especially Newt. Without her constant encouragement I would have never had the guts to finish it. She created the first physical copy of the book, in part, making the story "real". I know I should feel sad that it's over. But I'm not. I'm excited. This accomplishment makes me feel that any of the stories brewing in my head can make it to paper. All I need is the determination, and if I'm lucky, the support of a great friend.

As always, criticism, critiques, and compliments are welcome.

Tomato throwing is not.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

Now With Four Exclamation Points!!!!

As promised in yesterday's post, anyone who contributes to Newt and OneDaisy's MS Fundraiser (or has contributed to ANY MS fundraiser in the last month) can take one of the nifty spork awards below. Thanks to you and all you do!


MS Supporter Award (Small)
<a href="http://feetsoffancy.blogspot.com/"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 185px;" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/2596387634_e6f9223c40_o.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>


MS Supporter (Large)
<a href="http://feetsoffancy.blogspot.com/"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/2596387634_e6f9223c40_o.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>
(You can thank Hoop for the suggestion of the red, white, and blue sweatband and hoodie. Hehe.)

After MUCH delay, Twisted (Tink) has finally been updated with a new chapter, "Prophecy's End." It's one of the last chapters of this story! I'm not sure how I feel about that. I thought I'd be more excited. Click on over and tell me what you think. Comments, critiques, and suggestions are always welcome. Tomato throwing is not.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

There Are No Stupid Questions...

Just stupid conversations.

Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: You know what I hate?
Mom: What?
Tink: Commercials that portray women giggling over make-up. Who does that? I have NEVER giggled over make-up.
Mom: I giggle over make-up all the time. Is this wrong?
Tink: It is. You should definitely stop.

Around The Water Cooler:
Coworker: I just got attacked by a Blue Jay!
Tink: Maybe you were by its nest.
Coworker: Maybe. It dove at me when I went to the mailbox. Then it sat on the ground going, "Grrrrr."
Tink: Oh yeah? It was growling at you?
Coworker: Well... You know what I mean. It was acting like it wanted to growl at me.

Not Far From The Tree 2:
Mom: Want to go see a movie tomorrow?
Tink: Sure!
Mom: What's playing?
Tink: Um... "Leatherheads" is playing at 11:30 and "Smart People" is playing at 11:45.
Mom: What's "Smart People"? Wait. Is that a stupid question?

P.S. Twisted (Tink) has been updated with a new chapter, "The Sacrifice." Comments, suggestions, and critiques greatly appreciated! No seriously. I'm giving you permission to be brutal. Just no tomato throwing, OK? I'd hate to have to clean the blog again.

Have a fantastic weekend homebloys!

Time Wasters (Not So) Anonymous

Phew. I've been working on a new chapter for Twisted all day. Go check it out! It's called "A Song Of Sixpence." A hundred spork points for the person who can explain why I named it that. Yeah, I don't know what they're good for. Maybe they'll be curency for the etsy store I hope to open one day. I'm not sure what I'll sell yet. I'm thinking dust bunnies, which I have an abundance of right now. Maybe stock in Sporktopia. Whatever. Just go check it out.

See you on Monday Homebloys!

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are MOTION and SUSPEND. Happy snapping!

12 Videos Of Christmas

Ok, not really.

But enjoy them anyway.

101 Impressions

Best Reaction To A Present

Lightning Strike Victim

Awesome Stop-Motion Fight

Binocular Soccer

Harder Bodies Faster Stronger

Scrubs Proposal

Hand Drawn

Best First Dance

World's Fastest Clapper

This Kid's Got Moves!

Hammer Time

Doses Of Tink: Twisted has been updated with another new chapter, "Making A Stand." Anyone kind enough to read it will get a personal recommendation from me to Santa. He enlisted yours truly to help him double check the list this year. What did you expect with the population increasing like it is? Poor old guy is working himself toward a heart attack!

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are TRADITION and PINK. Happy snapping!

Those of you fortunate enough to have Christmas Eve off, Happy Holidays!

Those of you who aren't, I'll be seeing you on Monday. Bring the booze.

Ugh.

Can't talk, busy digesting.

Would you believe I'm STILL full from yesterday?

In the meantime...

I've updated Twisted (Tink) with a new chapter. "Topsy Turvy" is either the best or the worst chapter yet. It's where everything is finally explained. For all of you the two of you still reading it, feel free to tell me what you REALLY think. I'm already convinced I should scrap the whole thing and start something new. Eh, it's only three years of work anyway. I have cans of soup older than that.

Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Peoples Taste Like Chikin!

My soon to be fifteen year old brother has asked for a Gorilla Suit for his birthday.

I'm not sure why. This ad claims it "makes a great Easter costume." Easter... As in Jesus and the Gorilla. As if egg laying bunnies weren't scary enough.

Halloween went really well. I was having so much fun, I forgot to take pictures! The madness started at six, when I finally arrived home from work. Hoop phoned to tell me that he would be arriving late and Mom called to say that she and the boys would be right on time. So I frantically ran through the house trying to assemble my costume and simultaneously decorate the outside stoop. It went something like this... Splatter blood on shirt. Dump bones outside door. Splatter blood on face. Set up fog machine. Splatter blood on house. Shit! Wipe blood off of house.

I had doubts about our theme when the trick-or-treaters started to arrive. The neighbors across from us had an elaborate graveyard and a chainsaw wielding madman. We had Styrofoam bones and a cooking pot filled with candy. But once the sun set, it didn't really matter. "Bone?!" I asked the children as they arrived, waving a femur at them. Most just laughed and asked for candy instead. Some instinctively reached for what I was handing them and then recoiled when they realized what it was. A select few actually chose the bone.

"Can I have this?" A tiny Spiderman asked me, holding up part of a spine. I looked at Hoop. He shrugged. "Sure kid. Why not?" "Thanks!" The kid shouted, running back toward his parents. "Can I have one too?" His friend asked. We gave him an arm bone and sent him on his way. "They gave us bones!" We could hear them exclaim to their parents at the end of the driveway. "That's... nice, sweetie." I'm sure the adults were mentally marking which house we were at so they knew which one to avoid next time. "It's official," Hoop told me. "We're passing out bones instead of candy next year."

Doses Of Tink: Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another new chapter, "Fairy's Tale." Both this chapter and the next have been rolling around in my head for over a year now. I hope you enjoy!

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are OLD and BLUE. Happy snapping!

UPDATE: Over on G-Man's blog I jokingly asked him if he could Photoshop my head onto Jessica Biel's body. JB happens to be Hoop's fantasy girlfriend. To my surprise, the awesome and amazing G-Man did it. I can't stop laughing. Enjoy!

(G-Man, I hope you don't mind me posting this.)



Have a great weekend!

Mental Feeding Frenzy

Holy crap. It's been so long since I wrote a new chapter for Twisted (Tink), I forgot how difficult it is writing from scratch. It's much easier when you're simply making revisions. So for those of you who are still following along with the story, the next chapter is out! It's currently titleless. So if you come up with something good, let me know.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: It's been one month since I've had a cigarette.
Hoop: That's so awesome, babe. You're doing so good!
Tink: Do you know how I would like to celebrate?
Hoop: How?
Tink: By having a cigarette.
Hoop: How about a nice healthy smoothie instead?
Tink: *Groan*
Hoop: Then we'll go for a nice healthy walk and discuss the benefits of vinegar.
Tink: I hate you.

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this week are COMMON and RARE.

P.P.S. I promise to get around to everyone's blogs this weekend. If I don't, you can, uh... Name my first born. There. I think that's more than fair!

Have a great weekend!

Thirst

I waited my whole life for him.

But expecting good things out of my Father was like waiting for rain in the desert.

It wasn't until I turned twenty-two that I realized I was going to die of thirst. So I turned my back on him, the man who forever promised water. I shamed him so thoroughly that he wiped himself from the map, destroyed every road that might lead him back. With him gone, I drank up everything around me. I nearly drowned in the pursuit of something more. I eventually found it, that fullness I craved. But it didn't stop me from thinking about him, wondering...

Was he the one waiting now?

Monday: The story of what happened on the last night I saw my Dad. Until then, some happy memories of him.

UPDATE: Post can be found here.

No More Meat: I was barely three when my Dad started working at the steel mill. He was proud of that job. It was the first decent one he'd had since going to jail. He talked about that place long after he got fired. About the man who lost his face in some freak accident, and the numerous fingers that went missing in the machinery. The thing I'll always associate with that place though is a McDonald's pancake breakfast. It had to do with one of my Dad's favorite stories.

He was taking me to the steel mill one morning so he could pick up his check. It was out in the country somewhere, so he stopped for breakfast on the way. We were halfway to the mill when he looked over at my syrupy face and saw that I'd eaten all my sausage. "No more meat, Daddy." I said sadly. "You ate it all, sweetie." He replied. I threw my hands up in the air as if to say "I don't know where it went" and started to cry. He told me he'd get me more once we were back in town. It wasn't like me to cry. "No more meat?" I sniffled. "No, baby."

He said I didn't make another peep, I just sat there looking at my empty plate. So my Dad did the only thing he could think to do. He pulled the truck around and drove all the way back into town. He always liked to end the story with, "So I got you a stack of sausage this big!" His hands would be about a foot apart, although the size grew with each telling. "Did I eat it all?" I would ask. "I can't remember," he would say. Because it didn't matter. I had won his heart that day.

Little Foreman: Growing up, my Dad owned a fence company. I used to love to watch him work. First he would measure the yard. Then he would set the string. He or one of his workers would come in and dig holes. Another person would set the posts and cement them in. My job was always to make sure they were level at the end. In the meantime, I would sit on the piles of wood or metal and color. Every once in awhile my Dad would go off to get lunch and leave me in charge.

I'm sure it was a sight, a kid no older than eight giving orders to full grown men. The guys loved it. They were like family. "Faster!" I would shout as they moved supplies. "Make sure that's straight!" "Yes foreman," they would reply. Then my Dad would come back and ask me in the most serious tone, "Were the men well behaved?" With a straight face I would tell him that they were (or weren't depending on my mood). It was the best job I've ever had.

UPDATE: Twisted (Tink) has been updated with its final revised chapter, "Strange Coincidences." From here on out, everything will be new! About damn time, huh? For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, "Twisted" is a side project/story I've been working on for over a year now. You should go check it out. Let me know what you think. Comments, critiques, and kudos are always welcome. Tomato throwing is not.

P.S. Don't forget, the WWC words for this weekend are CHANGE and COLOR.

Have a fantastic weekend!

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby

Men can get turned on playing video games.

So sue me if I need a little more than that.

I was horny on the way home yesterday. Horny enough to call Hoop and prepare him for the mauling he was going to get when I got there. Then I had to stop at CVS and wait twenty minutes for a prescription. When I pulled into the driveway, still horny, I saw the empty trash cans by the side of the road. I was a little less horny by the time I'd dragged them to the garage.

Then I looked through the window on the way in. I could see Hoop's video game on the big screen. "Thanks for bringing up the trash cans, babe." "Sorry about that," He mumbled while shooting an alien. I paused at the table, waiting to be rushed to the bedroom or at the very least receive a "hello" kiss. When nothing happened, I trudged to the kitchen for food.

"We have thirty minutes until we have to leave for the movie!" I shouted toward his back. "What do you want to eat?" He stood up, controller still in hand, and said. "Hold on. I'm almost done." I closed the cabinet in defeat. "There's nothing quick to eat." Hoop rushed over to lovingly nuzzle on my neck. "I know what I'm hungry for," he mumbled into my hair. "Oh yeah?" "Yeah." "What's that?" "You."

Sweet, no?

"I don't think so," I grumbled, pushing him away with my elbows. Hoop barely spoke to me the rest of the night, choosing instead to fume in silence. I tried to coax him out with light conversation, but the damage had already been done. His own girlfriend had turned Cock Tease on him. *Snort* Don't get me wrong, I LOVE a little romp in the sack now and then. OK, OK, I'd have it every day if there were time.

But that doesn't mean I can turn my libido on like a switch. I need some attention! Bait the tiger, so to speak. That's where men and women differ. Men like the end result. Women like the journey there. So where's a good middle ground? I'm exasperated. What do you do (or have done) to spice things up? Got any funny sex stories? What's your biggest turn on/off? Break the rules and dish.

Comment anonymously if you want, but I'm going to call you something "dirty" if you do. You've been warned.

P.S. I would also like it to be known that Hoop and I are fine. I realize this wasn't something I should have necessarily been mad about. It just sparked an interesting topic about sex and the difference between men and women.

UPDATE: Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another revised chapter, "The Other Side." Only one more revision to go before the new chapters start! Thank you all for your patience. You've been WONDERFUL.

Because I Have No Shame

More from the diaries of Tink...


Yes, I have a briefcase full of diaries. Doesn't everyone?

(10 Years Old)

I love, "including thunder." As if there could be one without the other.

September 15th, 1993
(10 Years Old)
Today was all right. Boy, am I lying through my teeth. Well, we had a sub for half a day and she was a which and an ugly son of a gun. We all started thinking she was a he. Because her hair looked like a wig and she (he) went halfway into the boy's bathroom. Well I'm glad he or she is gone!

(11 Years Old)

I hid the journal in a cabinet in our basement moments after writing this. We were preparing to move. Not even thirty minutes later, I ran back to pull it out. So much for leaving a legacy behind.

May 1st, 1995
(12 Years Old)
I feel Mom understands me but dad John confuses me. John says that I should try hard in math so that it can help me when I get older, blah, blah. Mom says "Try hard but if worst comes to worst we'll get you a cute tutor." I really do love Mom but we all have our days (hers just seem like months). You know, when dad John saw a few dirty jokes in my joke calendar he told me, "You may not understand some of these jokes." He's such a dork. I understand them. I'm not 5 I'm 12. What does he take me for, an idiot?! He doesn't realize the stuff we find out in the 90's. Mostly from careless adults. Adults don't realize we know about sex, drugs, babies, rape, hanky panky, french kissing. We just choose to act dumb. Parents forget what it's like to be a kid, feel like a kid, think like a kid, that's why Im writing this diary, so I NEVER forget.

(12 Years Old)

The whole thing makes me CRINGE.


Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Babe!
Tink: What?
Hoop: Did you steal this white-out from work?
Tink: Yeah.
Hoop: WHY?
Tink: Because I'm leaving soon! I wanted to steal something.
Hoop: If you needed white-out you should have told me. I could have gotten some from work without them caring.
Tink: That's not the point. They owed me!
Hoop: White-out...
Tink: YEAH.
Hoop: Oh-kay.

Have a great weekend!

UPDATE: Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another revised chapter, "The Gateway." I know it's overdo. More to come, hopefully soon!

Arabella Day

Last year Arabella was one of the winners of the PB contest. As her prize, she chose to have a personal post done about her. It wasn't a hard one for me to write. She is an amazing woman, Mom, and blogger. But most importantly, her appreciation of it made me realize how infrequently I voice how much you all mean to me. You are more friends to me than most of the people I see physically. Last year I jokingly told Arabella that I was going to make a holiday after her.

Then it dawned on me... Why not? This little corner of the blogosphere is MINE. I'll make whatever I damn well please. Besides, there aren't enough non-commercial holidays. So in celebration of you, all of you, I am naming this Arabella Day. It's the day for telling your fellow blogger what they mean to you. Here's how it goes. Leave a comment about the person who wrote before you. The next person will leave a comment about you. On it goes. You can comment as many times as you like.

Examples:
"Jay makes me laugh so hard I feel like pissing my pants"
"Newt has a heart of gold. She makes me want to be a better person."
"Mama T has great tits."

That's it. Have fun!

Friday Contest Winners!
Brodimus Prime- Post (Tuesday)
Jay- Goody Bag
Pamer- Goody Bag
Geenalyn- Goody Bag
Fiwa- Goody Bag
For everyone who chose the goody bag, please email me your mailing address (twstdtinkatyahoodotcom). I'll have them out in the mail by next weekend.

P.S. Jay presented me with the "Creative Blogger Award"! Acceptance speech on Wednesday. Bring tissues. I'm gonna cry.

P.P.S. Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another revised chapter, "Smudge On The Rug." More to come (hopefully today).

I Have Issues

Surprisingly, I don't feel like discussing them here. The world is filled with far too many morose thoughts as it is. Who needs me spreading mine around like icing on the proverbial cake? What I CAN tell you is that this cake is made of shit. So forgive me for this lackluster post. I'll practice my A-game and post something better this weekend.

Until then...

Twisted (Tink) has been updated with a newly revised chapter. Click on over and check out, "All That Glitters."

Have a great weekend!
Do something crazy and name it after me, will ya?

Tunnels

It's 10 o'clock, Tuesday night. Hoop is asleep on the couch. The neighborhood kids are outside lighting fireworks, pretending they're cowboys in a shoot out. The rain has finally stopped. The dew on the lawn shines like a million tiny eyes. They watch me, waiting for my feet to stir, to crush them into the ground. I pivot slowly. There's a toad two feet away. I ball my fist, comparing the size. He stalks after a worm that has been loosened from its home. Nip. Nip. He flings him into the air, swallowing him whole. No more.

I creep back in. Toe, heel, toe. Hoop stirs, a shallow smile flickering across his face before he slides back into sleep. The house is quiet. Too quiet. I fold my legs into my lap. I unfold them and then tuck them in. I untuck them and then stretch them out. I selfishly trace a finger across Hoop's foot, willing him to wake. My mind runs in and out of tunnels, unearthing things like long lost tombs. My best friend in high school made mixed CDs. I listened to them in endless cycles. But it wasn't until today that I heard them. Truly heard them.

They spoke of love, a love that wasn't. "If I push you, you might break, loving me for friendship's sake." He spoke so little. When he left, silence was my only reminder. The tunnel turns and there I am, slipping through my open window. I trace the road away from lights, to a tree next to a dock. In the moonlight we bury a stone, smokey and pale beneath the dirt. It looks like an egg. I daydream about what it might hatch, drawing doodles across my homework of leafy birds with gigantic beaks.

The tunnel drops and cools, sinking below the wealth of hidden jewels. I'm brought back to the last supper of my Father, a Godless meal. We yelled while it crackled in the pan. When we were through, my Father tossed it into a bowl. An uneaten feast. No matter how much I wanted it, I couldn't stomach a single bite. My mind wouldn't stop whispering, "It's poisoned." Suddenly, it's too dark. The tunnel is too deep. I surface, seeking the light. Hoop's snores, soft and raspy, signal me home. I curl into his warmth, a bed of flesh, and wonder why I ever left.

P.S. Twisted (Tink) has been updated with two newly revised chapters, "The Name Game" and "A Hairy Tale." Fly on over for more of my twisted tale. As always, comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated.

365 (and 2 More)

I started this blog well over a year ago. But it wasn't until Tuesday that I hit the 365 post mark. A post for each day of the year! For two months I've been anticipating the day I could say that. Yes, I'm really THAT much of a nerd. Then I looked at the post counter this morning and realized... I'm two days late! At first I considered going back and erasing two of my earlier posts to make it an even 365. But that seemed a little neurotic extreme. In the process of trying to find posts to eliminate, I found some real gems though. Posts about conversations and feelings I'd totally forgotten about. Which is really why I started this blog. I started it so I would remember. Thankfully, it ended up as something so much more than just a diary. It became the meeting ground for wonderful people like you.

So, thank you!

If you stick around for the next 365, I'll bust out some door prizes.

Random Conversation:
Stranger: Are those cupcakes good?
Tink: Very.
Stranger: Are they expensive?
Tink: Somewhat.
Stranger: Like what, fourteen bucks?
Tink: No, more like three.
Stranger: Oh... What's the frosting to cupcake ratio?
Tink: ...
Stranger: Because grocery store cupcakes are always loaded with more frosting than cake. I hate that!
Tink: Um. They're pretty good all the way around.
Stranger: Good to know.

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"If I died, would you kill yourself?"

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: Work is pissing me off.
Tink: What's wrong?
Hoop: Everything shifted after we changed managers. Instead of being on top of the game, I'm just mediokra now.
Tink: Mediocre.
Hoop: That's what I said!
Tink: No, you said mediokra. Okra is a vegetable.
Hoop: I should name my blog that!
Tink: Okra?
Hoop: Meaty Okra.
Tink: Pickled Beef and Meaty Okra. We're going to be the freaks of the blogosphere.

Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another revised chapter, "Casino City." Click on over and tell me what you think!

Btw: Hoop and I got a huge kick out of reading your comments to his post last night. He promises to try and make time tonight to respond.

Tomfoolery

Hoop pantsed me last night. TWICE. Pantsed by my own boyfriend! Isn't there an unspoken rule against that? Fortunately, we were in the privacy of our own home. I was scooping ice cream at the time and had to waddle my way to the sink before I could pull my shorts back up. The second time happened right after he beat my hand with a wet sock. Foreplay, you say? No. He was keeping me from doing laundry. Isn't that lovely? Then he cleaned the bathroom! He also took out the trash and helped me make dinner. No, it's not my birthday. I think perhaps he's feverish. Fevers can cause irregular behavior, right? Perhaps I'll turn on the heater and get a foot rub before this passes.

Tuesday night, Hoop and I took a bike ride around the "hood." There's an elementary school a few streets away that uses goats, instead of mowers, for lawn control. They keep a small herd of them penned around their holding pond. I noticed some children feeding them while I was driving home and it gave me the idea of a bike ride. When I called Hoop to suggest it, he was less interested in the ride and more interested in the welfare of the kids feeding the goats.

Hoop: Don't goats bite?
Tink: Only a little. It's more like a nibble.
Hoop: That's not what I heard. Those children better be careful. Otherwise they might lose a finger!
Tink: Goats don't eat fingers!
Hoop: Are you sure?
Tink: Yes.
Hoop: Well, I better drive by and make sure the kids are OK. Just in case.

The kids (both goat and human) were fine. I haven't seen any fingerless children running around lately, and the goats didn't seem blood thirsty when we went to see them that night. But I'll let you know if the situation changes. Maybe I'll have my camera on me and I can make the first ever, "When Goats Attack" video.

New footage of the infamous Loch Ness Monster. Which looks a lot like a water snake. Hmm.

Universal Studios of Orlando is making a new theme park! "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter," will open in late 2009.

Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another revised chapter, "Magic Beans." This chapter has taken the place of "Hanging Around" and "Going Up." We're getting closer to the spot I left off with, before I lost my mind and decided to revise the whole damn thing. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment!

Shortest Post Ever

Twisted (Tink) has been updated with another revised chapter.

That's all. Carry on.

Combo Platter

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: I wish I had a fast forward button. I'd skip right through this day.
Hoop: I wish I had a pause button. I'd stop time as soon as we got home. Then we could unpause it whenever we were ready to go back.
Tink: We'd never unpause it then!
Hoop: Exactly.
Tink: We'd live our whole lives suspended in a day.
Hoop: Wouldn't that be great?
Tink: We could travel.
Hoop: We'd have to buy a boat.
Tink: Pfft. We could steal a boat. Who would know?
Hoop: That's true.
Tink: We'd have to be careful though. No one would be there to help us if we got lost or hurt.
Hoop: We could drift along and fish for food.
Tink: The fish would be pretty easy to catch.
Hoop: We could just scoop them out of the water.
Tink: *Sigh* I wish I had invented the world.

Around The Water Cooler:
Tink: Last night I dreamt that I removed all my teeth.
Coworker: Eww.
Tink: Then I tried to put them back in but they wouldn't fit. So I ate them.
Coworker: Were they good?
Tink: Eh. Kind of crunchy.

Spam Mail Subjects:
"Get your swiss together" Between a few slices of ham maybe.
"Rolex mania is down" So you no longer have to promise your first born to get one?

May Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
bunifa cell phone smoothie That's one way to recycle.
does a dandelion tell if you like butter Sorry, I don't speak "dandelion."
how to keep a bathtub white Don't use it.
gay sports Um... DRAG racing?
Should I try to rekindle a toxic relationship? You obviously don't watch Dr. Phil.
I would like to tear off your bra and suck milk from your sexy boobs Only if you spend 10 months in my uterus first buddy.
Arabella get naked in Playboy Hey now. Whatever she did before I met her is none of my business.
Does steak make your boobs grow? Buy me some steaks and I'll let you know.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(Shouting from separate rooms)
Hoop: Hey babe!
Tink: Yeah?
Hoop: Could you help me take off my clothes?
Tink: You can't do it yourself?
Hoop: No.
Tink: Nice try, Hoop.
...
Hoop: Hey babe!
Tink: Yeah?
Hoop: I have a present in my pants for you!


Courtesy of Odd Mix:

Time
Remain

Come on, you know you want to play! Rules of the game are here.

Twisted (Tink): I've updated each chapter with buttons so you can scroll backwards and forwards through the pages instead of clicking home every time.

Have a great weekend guys!

Blogger Day Of Fun

I'm taking the day off from posting. Instead, I'm going to make masterpieces...

I call this one "Fairy Orgy."


"War Of The Triangles"


"Naked Lady With Big Butt"


"Boobs"


You can thank Jinx for turning me on to the Jackson Pollock site. Give it a try! Or comment about another addictive site that you've found.

As well as making dirty art, I'll be updating Twisted Tink today. So stop by and tell me what you think of the new layout.

Ciao!

Sneaky Bastards

I closed commenting on the last post because I didn't want anyone to feel obligated to say anything.

I opened my email box over the weekend and was completely surprised.

30 of you sneaky bastards decided to comment anyway!

Thank you.

It was appreciated more than I can say.

Hoop and I had a long talk over the weekend. We've decided to put the house on hold for two months, other than the critical termite problems. Now that we have a fully functioning kitchen, the house is completely livable. So, we intend to LIVE in it. It's time to have some fun, live normally. Whatever "normal" for us may be.

Although I'm not fixed, I feel better. Confessing that I'm overwhelmed lifted a huge weight off my chest. Sumo huge. Rosemary Shanahan huge. I felt like I should go home and have makeup sex with myself huge. I'm going to look into counseling and possibly meds too. One of my dear blog buddies mentioned it might be a thyroid problem, which got me excited at first since I thought my boobs might get bigger.

No such luck... On the boob thing. I don't know about the thyroid yet.

Tomorrow: Weekend Recap
Wednesday: Pictures

After Too Much Ado: I'm finally lifting some of the construction tape on Twisted Tink. By five today there will be 7-8 chapters (previously chapters 1-16) up for review. If you've been following along with the story this far, you're going to want to reread them. I have made tons of revisions and additions in the interest of you, my reader(s). I would really appreciate some constructive criticism. So pull out your red pens and let me know what you think!