3rd Annual Golden Spork Awards!

Who needs the Golden Globes when there are shiny sporks to be had?

Feel free to do a little victory dance on your way up to the podium. You deserve it! Most of you could have fit into multiple categories. But I stuck with one each just to be fair... and to avoid unnecessary ego inflation. Haven't I already told you how wonderful you are? I don't want to have to use your award on you. Exploding heads are awfully messy business.

"Funniest" Spork Award
(These people make me want to pee my pants.)
Jay
Allison
Karen

"Endearing" Spork Award
(Some of the sweetest and most kind hearted people I've ever met.)
Geenalyn
Mrs. Pao
Mary
J (of Swede Hollow)

"Savory" Spork Award
(Best all around. I can't go a day without checking these blogs.)
Meno
Janet (of Planet of Janet)
Fiwa

"Crafty/Creative" Spork Award
(They have more talent in their pinkie toe than my whole office combined.)
Sunshine
Gary
Knotty Mouse

"Inspiring" Spork Award
(Amazing photographers with an eye for everyday art.)
Yellow Rose
G-Man
Janet (of Fond of Snape)
Niki/Stella

"Articulate" Spork Award
(Some of the most impressive writers in the blogosphere.)
Apathy Lounge
Woman In A Window
Flutter

"Delightfully Snarky" Spork Award
(Wit and sarcasm at it's finest!)
Mignon
Furiousball
Foo
Gramps

"Fascinating" Spork Award
(Bloggers that make me think.)
Fortune Cookies
LL
Peggy

"Blog-God" Spork Award
(The celebrities of the blogosphere.)
Mamatulip
Rude Cactus
Chris (and Chaos and Mayhem)

"Clever" Spork Award
(The people that give me pause.)
Dana
Knot
Daisy
Gordo

"Bold and Beautiful" Spork Award
(These people are more interesting than Spanish soaps.)
Knight
Tawcan
Alex

"Down Home" Spork Award
(These bloggers could make anyone feel at home.)
Melanie
Reb
Cat Herder
Gin

"Social Butterfly" Spork Award
(They could make friends at a funeral.)
Kcinnova
Krissa
Jen (Texaconsindiva)

"Great New Find" Spork Award
(Welcome to my madness!)
Persnickety Ticker
Shania
Rara
Susan
J (of I'm a Troublemaker)
LMPP
Betty O Rocker

"Best Looking Blog" Spork Award
(They're too sexy for this blog.)
Kelly (of Wonderment)
Aunt Jackie
Vanessa

"Favorite Commenter" Spork Award
(To those who diligently comment, even if their blog is dead or nonexistent. With this award I also give them squatting rights. Mi blog es su blog, friends. Just don't touch my beer, ya hear?)
Sarge (Alex)
Emily
Pamer
Bob

Please leave your acceptance speech in the comment section.
Awards can be picked up in the post below.

Award Pickup

You have a choice between a trophy or a button. Grab what you like! The special edition two and three year awards are only for those bloggers who received a spork award last year and/or the year before. Please be respectful and only take the award you deserve.


2008 Trophy
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand" height="249" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3343/3207605547_a58936c096.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2008 "2 Year Champ" Trophy
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand" height="249" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3388/3208453346_47b271831e.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2008 "3 Year Champ" Trophy
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand" height="249" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3472/3207605719_9c32ec5b48.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2008 Specialty Pirate Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3317/3207605807_32a4117c93.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2006 + 2008 Specialty Pirate Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3312/3207605899_1e4e188e0a.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2007 + 2008 Specialty Pirate Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3467/3208453644_d4549240fd.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2006 - 2008 Specialty Pirate Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3448/3208453740_06e45650e9.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2008 Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3436/3208453788_49dabdcee2.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2006 + 2008 Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3340/3207606205_ecf2fbd0a3.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2007 + 2008 Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3492/3207606143_da0778be5c.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2006 - 2008 Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2009/01/3rd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3353/3207606257_14c6b62b87.jpg" border="0" /></a>
Larger sizes of these buttons are available on my Flickr page.

Also of note:
Newt is having another walk-a-thon! Check out Paws Of Promise. Anyone who donates to his/her local shelter or the SPCA gets this nifty Spork Award, not to mention the warm fuzzies and the admiration of animal lovers everywhere!

ASPCA Button
<a href="http://pawsofpromise.blogspot.com/"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3462/3205586562_2e41355f08.jpg" border="0" /></a>

Second Chances

40 people commented on Monday's delurking post! Ok, so most of you were already known stalkers. But there were a couple of surprise guests in there. As a bonus, everyone who participated that day will be getting a super awesome Golden Spork Award next Monday. For those who missed the deadline... Tough luck. Ok, that's not true. Otherwise this post wouldn't be titled "Second Chances", right? Being the charitable person that I am, especially since these suckers aren't REAL, I have decided to give everyone who didn't comment in time a second chance.

I know, I rock.

So, here it is folks. You have until tomorrow, Friday, at 5pm (Eastern Standard Time) to claim your 3rd annual Pickled Beef Golden Spork Award. For those who feel that this negates the specialty of their award from Monday, don't worry, these are 10k gold. Yours are 14. No one will be able to tell the difference, but you'll know. So hurry up and comment already! What are you waiting for?! Please note that Pickled Beef and staff are not liable for any blindness caused by staring too long or too close to said shiny award. Nor are we responsible for the monthly spit-shines. Thank you.

*As it is now after 5, comments have been closed. Have a wonderful weekend! I'll see you at the award ceremony on Monday.

Now With Four Exclamation Points!!!!

As promised in yesterday's post, anyone who contributes to Newt and OneDaisy's MS Fundraiser (or has contributed to ANY MS fundraiser in the last month) can take one of the nifty spork awards below. Thanks to you and all you do!


MS Supporter Award (Small)
<a href="http://feetsoffancy.blogspot.com/"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 185px;" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/2596387634_e6f9223c40_o.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>


MS Supporter (Large)
<a href="http://feetsoffancy.blogspot.com/"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/2596387634_e6f9223c40_o.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>
(You can thank Hoop for the suggestion of the red, white, and blue sweatband and hoodie. Hehe.)

After MUCH delay, Twisted (Tink) has finally been updated with a new chapter, "Prophecy's End." It's one of the last chapters of this story! I'm not sure how I feel about that. I thought I'd be more excited. Click on over and tell me what you think. Comments, critiques, and suggestions are always welcome. Tomato throwing is not.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

Scheduled Chaos

Quotes Of The Day:
1. "My hair smells like gerbils!"
2. "He just rolled over, like a tootsie roll- or a marble in a bowl- or something else that rolls."
3. "I don't mind a little chaos, as long as I can schedule when it happens."
4. My son thinks burps are farts he held in too long. Is it wrong that I haven't corrected him?

Check out this spork themed comic Maggie found. I love her.

Also, I was voted "Most Likely to Have a Dress Made Out of Lingerie" at Sunshine's Blog Prom last Friday. To prove it, here's my shiny new award. Marvel in its beauty.


In addition, Odd Mix (the founding Father of the WWC!) would like it to be known that he participated in last week's words. Unfortunately, his computer decided to rebel and wouldn't let him post in that day's comments. So head over to ooh and ahh please.

Hm, what other random and interesting things can I throw at you?

I guess that's it for today. Carry on.

Overachiever Award

For those of you who went above and beyond the call of duty, I present to you this award!


Overachiever Award (Small)
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2008/04/overachiever-award.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3279/2401499226_b23bf35ba5.jpg" border="0" /></a>


Overachiever Award (Large)
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2008/04/overachiever-award.html"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3279/2401499226_b23bf35ba5.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>

It's not too late for you to get your hands on one of these nifty buttons. All you have to do is post a picture or pictures for one or both of the April Fools Day WWC words. For those who get to take this nerdy spork home with you today, please leave an acceptance speech below. Much love homebloys. Rock out with your spork out.

2nd Annual Golden Spork Awards!

Who needs the Golden Globes when there are shiny sporks to be had?

Feel free to strut your stuff on your way up to the podium, folks. You deserve it. In fact, most of you could have fit into multiple categories. But I stuck with one each to be fair. That and I'd hate to have to use your award to pop your ego. Exploding heads are such messy business. Bleh.

"Funniest" Spork Award
(These people make me want to pee my pants on a daily basis.)
Jay
Brody
CaryMc
Sarah
Meno

"Endearing" Spork Award
(Some of the sweetest and most kind hearted people I've ever met.)
Alli
Chelle
Turtle
Mary
Backpacker Momma

"Savory" Spork Award
(Best all around. I can't go a day without checking these blogs.)
R.E.H.
Allison
Newt
Susan
Furiousball

"Inspiring" Spork Award
(Amazing photographers with an eye for everyday art.)
G-Man
Hilary
Odd Mix
Gawilli
Aunt Jackie

"Articulate" Spork Award
(Some of the most impressive writers in the blogosphere.)
Anastasia
Maggie
Mignon
Orhan Kahn
Flutter

"Delightfully Snarky" Spork Award
(Wit and sarcasm at it's finest!)
Fiwa
Karen
Betty
Birdman
Scarlet

"Fascinating" Spork Award
(Bloggers that make me think and learn.)
Peggy
Foo
Jo
MJD
Reb
Coffespaz

"Crafty/Creative" Spork Award
(They have more talent in their pinkie toe than my whole office combined.)
Mouse
Kell
Chris
Gary
Tigers

"Blog-God" Spork Award
(The celebrities of the blogosphere.)
Corky
Mamatulip
Rude Cactus
Jay (Goat)
Sunshine

"Bold and Beautiful" Spork Award
(These people are more interesting than Spanish soaps.)
Alex
Candy
ETK
Melanie
Sparkling Red

"Playful" Spork Award
(I could hang out with these bloggers all day.)
Freakazojd
Har
Cat Herder
Macoosh
Carly

"Clever" Spork Award
(The people that give me pause.)
Doc
Tammy
Edge
Butterfly Girl
Gordo

"Social Butterfly" Spork Award
(They could make friends at a funeral.)
Nettie
Redneck Scottsdale Princess
Christy
Crusty Beef
Joel

"Great New Find" Spork Award
(Welcome to my madness!)
Ginnie D
Jerseytjej
Saffa Chick
Kate
Jeanne Bean
Dana

"Best Looking Blog" Spork Award
(They're too sexy for this blog.)
Janet
Terri
Jen
Moi
Geenalyn

"Favorite Commenter" Spork Award
(To those who diligently comment, even if their blog is dead or nonexistent. So with this award I also give them squatting rights. Mi blog es su blog, friends. Just don't touch my beer, ya hear?)
Pamer
Snookie
J

AWARDS:
You have a choice between a trophy or a button. Grab what you like! The special edition "2 Year" awards are only for those bloggers who received a spork award last year.


2007 Trophy
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2008/01/2nd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand" height="249" alt="" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2214/2193047286_20f33e7b03.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2006-2007 Trophy
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2008/01/2nd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand" height="249" alt="" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2187/2193047142_af120c91ce.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2007 Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2008/01/2nd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2339/2192259837_1593667e85.jpg" border="0" /></a>


2006-2007 Button
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2008/01/2nd-annual-golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 185px; CURSOR: hand" height="105" alt="" src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2397/2193047856_e163894333.jpg" border="0" /></a>

Please leave your acceptance speech in the comments below.

The Count Is In

Eighty people commented this week for a Golden Spork Award!

Apparently, you guys love shiny utensils as much as I do. It's going to take me a little longer than today to categorize the winners though. I only made ten categories and now we're going to need sixteen. So expect the awards on Monday. Until then, have a wonderful weekend and don't forget to take pictures for the WWC. The words for this week are SQUARE and SOFT. Happy clicking!

The Award You Can Eat With!

Last year, on December 8th, I gave away 43 Golden Spork Awards in appreciation of this blog's 1st birthday. Well... PB's birthday came around again and I missed it, along with the Spork Award Ceremony. Things have been crazy lately. Not only have my posts been sporadic, but I haven't been able to check everyone's blogs as much as I'd like either. So maybe the awards are more justified this year. You all have stuck by me, despite my slow crawl into insanity.

You could have laughed and put spitballs in my hair, but you didn't. *Sniff* You didn't. For that I'm extremely grateful. Starting today, anyone who comments on this blog will receive a Spork Award... FREE. Tallying will start after 5pm (Eastern Standard Time) on Thursday, January 10th. Categories will be based on who is going to receive one. Those who won an award last year will get a badge that has BOTH awards on it. So get to commenting!

New Years Recap:
When Hoop came home on Monday night I was sprawled out on the couch, naked, bare-faced and fast asleep. "Bay-beeee," He crooned softly. "Unnnh," I mumbled back. He let me sleep for a half hour more. When I finally got up, there was drool on my arm and my hair had tangled itself around the remote. I contemplated staying home. But the thought of greeting the new year alone, without Hoop, was unthinkable. I knew it was getting late. "Can I take a shower?" I asked. Bless his heart, Hoop knew better than to complain. We didn't arrive into town until ten.

By the time we showed up, everyone was already drunk. Hoop's Dad mistakenly carried his pint glass out onto the street from the bar. "Ooops," he said, dropping the glass into a bush. "I'll come by and get it later." He never did. "I want to find a crown!" His girlfriend announced. We crossed the street and spun around to look at all the surrounding bars. People flocked in and out of them like sheep. "THERE!" She shouted, pointing at a group wearing plastic top hats. We entered the building and paid the $5 fee. I thought we were just getting hats. I had no idea we planned to STAY.

"I think we're the youngest people in here," I whispered to Hoop, surveying the scene at the VA. Middle-aged women in prom dresses danced to old Madonna songs. Everyone was smoking. I held my breath as we walked to a table in the back, only to find that the air never really cleared. Eventually they broke out the karaoke machine. By then the crowd was thoroughly liquored up. One man got so into his song, he dropped onto the floor and skinned his knees. Hoop's Dad's Girlfriend dragged me out on the dance floor. "Your hips!" She commanded. I looked on at a sea of toothless smiling faces.

At ten til midnight, everyone rose from their seats. "You're blocking the T.V.!" Some old guy yelled. Another man stood on top of a table to see the countdown. People started cheering at five til. "Happy New Year!" One woman shouted in my ear. "You stupid cow, it's not midnight yet!" The man on the table yelled. Some people took to counting. "10..9..8.." The man on the table followed a few seconds after. "10..9..8.." The mix sounded something like this, "10..9..8..10..7..9..6.." I pulled out my phone to check the time. "Now," I said to Hoop at twelve. "Now?" "Now!" And so we brought in the new year.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: Why does your hand smell?
Hoop: I don't know.
...
Hoop: Here, smell the other one.
Tink: *Gag* Oh my God. That one smells worse!
Hoop: Yeah, I was scratching my balls.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Do you think the dentist will let me take my wisdom teeth home?
Tink: I don't see why not. Just let them know before they put you under.
Hoop: That would be awesome.
Tink: What're going to do with them?
Hoop: I don't know.
Tink: Maybe the tooth fairy will come.
Hoop: Or maybe I could put them in a statue!

Monday: Good-bye December
Tuesday: WWC (Words this week are STRANGE and BLACK)

Have a spendiferous weekend Homebloys!

Now Beefier

Contrary to popular belief, I have not been carted off to the nut house... Yet.

But thanks for the concern!

I've been busy. Between work, remodeling the blog, adding chapters to TT, fixing up the house, Hoop, my family, his family, Little Bit's birthday, and my little project below, I can't seem to get a good grasp on time before it slips right past me. I promise, regular posting will resume on Monday. Until then:

Golden Spork Awards Revisited:

It only took me seven months to get these graphics out. But they're finally here! For those of you who won an award in the Golden Spork ceremony back in December, you can pick up your official awards here. For those who didn't receive one, the next ceremony is being held in December of this year.



The code can be copied and pasted from below. I have set it up so that anyone clicking on the graphic will get transferred to the official Golden Spork Award page. Feel free to adjust the height and width as necessary. For Blogger members, the easiest way to do this is to paste the graphic into a post. Then, adjust using the arrows on the sides. Once the image is the size you want, copy and paste it into your template. If you have questions, comment.

Red Background
<a href="http://pickledbeef.blogspot.com/2006/12/golden-spork-awards.html"><img style="WIDTH: 130px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 249px" height="306" alt="" src="http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1376/752066305_9e4c88f161_o.jpg" border="0" /></a>

Hope your weekend is going well!

EDIT: I've fixed the graphic problem (hopefully). I'll add the other version when I get home.