Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Honeymoon: Day 1 and 2

(Click for larger pictures or visit my Flickr page.)

This was our ship, the Enchantment of the Seas.

We almost didn't board her in time.

Here's a fact you might not know, I suck at directions. Hoop sucks at planning things. So imagine the trouble we get into when I trust him to plan something and he trusts me to gauge how long a drive is going to take. It was about ten o'clock on boarding day when Hoop checked the Royal Caribbean website and realized that our ship was going to begin loading at one. It was going to take us five hours to get down to Fort Lauderdale. "Baaaabe." He called from the office. "We have to leave- NOW." I was about halfway through my packing. I did the rest of it in tears, convinced we were going to miss our honeymoon.

We made it, but with no time to spare. The only time we stopped was to pee and to collect a warning ticket for speeding. By the time we got on the ship, my nerves were shot. Hoop gave me a tour of the facilities and then steered me in the direction of the boats massive buffet. Never have I seen so many of my favorite foods together in one place before! There was lobster ravioli, sushi, steak kabobs, stuffed chicken, and a dessert bar that could almost convince you to skip dinner entirely. Unfortunately, I could do no more than look at my overflowing plate with trepidation. The ship had begun to move.

I never got sick on the cruise. In fact, after the first night I was completely fine. I could run up and down the decks and eat two plates of food without ever a thought about where I was. But on that first night, my fear got the best of me. I retreated to our room for a little R&R and Hoop made his way to the casino. The next morning I awoke to a stillness I hadn't expected. "Why aren't we moving?" I mumbled to Hoop. Suddenly, we both shot out of bed and looked out the window. We were in Key West! After Hoop force-fed me breakfast, we left the boat to explore the port and score some drinks.

(An island off the coast of Key West.)

Our first stop in Key West was the art museum. Located just off the port, it was an easy choice for something to get into. It featured lots of "interactive" art, which Hoop and I took to mean "art you can get pervy with."

(Pinching The Mona Lisa.)

(Painting Grope!)

(Licking the Girl with a Pearl Earring.)

(Right At Home.)

There were tons of others. But really, how much dignity can we afford to lose on one post? After the museum, Hoop and I went bar hopping. But mostly it was for the cool t-shirts. At the last stop, the Flying Monkey, we got alcoholic slushies to go. We were in pretty good spirits by the time we bumped into this guy.

I can't remember the joke he told us. But I remember it had something to do with blowjobs, and the punchline included him letting beer pour out of his mouth. What a gem. Hey ladies, there's no ring on that finger as far as I can tell! Whatcha think? No? Ok, moving on.

This is where we eventually ended up, at the southern most point of the U.S. Obviously, this picture was taken by someone else. Why do people always cut us off at the feet? You should have seen this picture before I cropped it. There was allll this space on top and nothing on bottom. It was like that with several other shots too, all taken by different individuals. Next time, I'm bringing a tripod. As a whole, Key West was really fun and laid back. Not to mention colorful. I would definitely go back, if for nothing more than those alcohol slushies. YUM.

Bonus shot for Newt:

Tomorrow: Turkey Day! I'm taking the day off. Have fun Homebloys.
Friday: Cozumel, Mexico.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 62!

The words for this week were Perfect and Flawed.

How did you interpret them?

(From the archives)

(From the archives)

The words for next week are:

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go
here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

P.S. I've started a new thread on Flickr with ideas for
2009. Feel free to stop by and deposit your two cents.

Daily Etsy Pick:
Discovery Tote
Care Of Magical Creatures Book
Werewolf Personalized Photo

WTF Etsy?:
Robot Nativity
Let's Get Back Together Wrapping Paper
Tattoo Climber Mutant Toy

Tomorrow: The Cruise Ship and Key West (Are you guys sick of pictures yet?)

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Monday, November 24, 2008

Bachelorette Party

(For full-sized images, please go to my Flickr page. I figured out how to fix the problem manually, but it still doesn't explain why Blogger will no longer reformat my pictures to fit in the post frame. Why does Blogger suck so bad?)

I had plans of doing all sorts of crazy things with the Bachelorette party pictures; like Photoshopping
Newt and Daisy into incriminating scenes involving half-naked firemen or something. But, I got drunk on Saturday afternoon at book club and then Hoop and I spent all day Sunday pretending that we were going to do something productive, but really just playing video games in our underwear. Hey, don't judge! We're old married peeps now. We can do whatever the hell we want.

These are my girls. That's Daisy (the Shoe Whore) to the left, me in the middle, Newt to the right. What you can't tell from the picture is, I'm wearing a pink boa, a veil, little crown earrings/necklace and an engraved "Homebloys" bracelet. They practically *mugged me when I got to their hotel room. *Would it still be considered "mugging" if they put stuff on me instead of taking stuff off? Hoop, who had stopped in to meet our honored guests, didn't stick around for dinner. I think he was afraid to be seen with me, personally.

As well as dressing me up, the girls gave me a waffle maker for luck, a Wedding Day Emergency Kit (in a Tinkerbell backpack no less) and lingerie. All three have been used and loved, the first and the last by Hoop especially. After dinner, the girls and I took a short drive to the most popular beach bar. Seeing as it was only 8-something on a Thursday night, it wasn't very crowded. But we didn't let that stop us from making asses out of ourselves. The bartender kept us supplied in free shots and when those ran dry, the girls kept me supplied in drinks. I don't think I've ever been so spoiled!

Here's Daisy and I pointing at the bill Newt signed to commemorate the night.

Sometime after this picture was taken, it started getting fuzzy... or maybe wobbly is the better word. I remember some old guy hitting on Daisy and then us deciding to skip over to the gas station next door. Did we sing "We're off to see the Wizard", or did I imagine that? Newt and I were sitting outside waiting on Daisy to reemerge from the bathroom when the store attendant came out for a chat and a smoke break. To my utter annoyance, the girl turned out to be someone I went to school with. I remember the chick talked a lot, mostly about other people I hadn't seen since high school.

On any other occasion, a person like her would have killed my buzz. But this time it only intensified it. I think it's because I was thinking the words, "GO AWAY" as hard as I could. By the time she went back in (and Daisy came out) my head was humming. We headed to the pier, but not before rescuing Daisy from herself and then from someone I'm pretty sure was a dumpster dweller. Oh, and let's not forget that hot Mexican on the beach. Or maybe I made that part up. At some point, we made it back to the hotel.

Newt was nice enough to give me a shirt and a bed for the night. I woke up four hours later in bed with a trashcan (unused, thankfully). With one eye open, I drove to the hotel where Hoop was staying. The room was 89 degrees when I walked in and Hoop was laying belly up, fully dressed on the bed. I rubbed his stomach and he nodded happily in his sleep. That's how I knew he'd had a nice Bachelor party. I was dog tired that day, but it was worth it. I couldn't have asked for a cooler party, or for better friends.

Picture Updates by Alex M.

Walking Down The Aisle

All Smiles

First Kiss

Picture Updates by Newt

Three Generations Of Hands

Golf Cart Fun

Tomorrow: WWC

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Something Else Entirely

I know I promised a post about the bachelorette party, but I forgot my disk of pictures at home. Believe me, you want the pictures. So here' s the new posting schedule of events:

Monday- Bachelorette Party
Tuesday- WWC
Wednesday- The Cruise Ship and Key West
Thursday- Cozumel, Mexico
Friday- Belize, Central America

Until then, enjoy something else entirely.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: You need a sensor for your mouth.
Hoop: Mind your own business.
Tink: No, you mind your own business.
Hoop: You ARE my business.
Tink: Then you better mind me!

Hoop Quote Of The Day:
"Did you lick me in the face this morning?"

Not Far From The Tree:
Tink: I had a bad dream last night.
Mom: Oh yeah? What about?
Tink: I bought you a key lime cake for your birthday and when I went to pick it up, it was burned. So Hoop and I decided to taste-test it and it was so good that we ate it all up.
Mom: You ate my cake?!
Tink: I went back to get you another, but all they had was raspberry. Then the bakery told me that it was the last cake they were ever going to sell because they were closing down.
Mom: Oh no!
Tink: But they told me if I ordered their magazine, it would have a recipe for the key lime cake in it. So I ordered it. Then it arrived and it was all blank! Screwed up, huh?
Mom: What in the world did you eat before you went to bed?
Tink: Believe it or not, it wasn't cake.

Have A Wonderful Weekend Homebloys!

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

Maiwage (Part 2)

The one thing I will suggest to any bride-to-be, having now experienced the whole wonderful/horrible process first hand, is to stay hydrated. That's right, hydrated. Throughout dinner and the following reception, guests kept me pleasantly occupied in non-stop conversation, which lead to horrible dry mouth. But every time I tried to make my way to the bar for a drink, someone would stop me to talk. Next thing I knew, thirty minutes had passed and I was four people deep and no closer to the bar.

My solution was to politely ask whichever family member was closest to get me a glass of water. Ten minutes later, I was still thirsty and could see said family member across the room eating cake and talking to some other guest. This happened no less then six times that night... twice by my own Mother. When Hoop and I got to the hotel room later that night, I was so thirsty, I stuck my head under the bathroom faucet like a dog. It's really not a complaint though. Weddings are hairy for everyone involved. Which is why all weddings should include alcohol.

Some other points of interest: While reading my vows, I noticed that my heels were sinking into the grass and my mind instantly created a mental movie of me falling backwards, shoes still planted firmly in the ground. I had to bite on my tongue to keep from giggling. When the ceremony was over, I looked down and saw no less than twelve holes in the ground where I had sunk in and pulled myself out again. After the ceremony, Hoop's slightly eccentric uncle (also our photographer) told us to go around back to wait for him. Then he went inside and promptly forgot about us.

Hoop and I tossed around the idea of running away and starting our honeymoon early. It's probably good that we didn't. What good is a reception without the happy couple? Some time in the night, my family snuck away with the disposable cameras to take pictures of my female relations pretending to use the urinals in the Men's bathroom. None of the culprits were under the age of 40. The DJ, who continued to call herself "DJ Harm0ny" despite the fact that we all knew her name was Cheryl, kept reminding guests to sign the guest-photo like it was a Target blue light special.

One of the most memorable moments of the night for me though, was when Nash/Chris' five year old son stopped in front of us and said in complete awe, "You look so beautiful!" Somewhere, Hoop's uncle has a picture of me hugging him, and on my wrist is the memorial bracelet Hoop and I bought for the wedding party in remembrance of Chris. Each bracelet reads, "Forever in our hearts - Christopher H." You can say what you want about where we go when we die. But I swear to you, I felt him that night. It was like he was smiling down on us.

Tomorrow: The Bachelorette Party!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008


People said that I would have trouble sleeping on the night before my wedding. Those people obviously didn't drink heavily two nights before their big day, turn around and go to work for nine hours, only to have a rehearsal immediately after, followed by a party and an hour drive to their sleeping location. I slept like a baby on Dimetapp. It was awesome. When I got up, I waited for the anxiety to kick in. But it didn't, so I went into the living room to watch cartoons. Cartoons were followed by breakfast and a hair appointment.

Since my parents' live in a little town, the hair stylist offered to come to the house to work on my hair instead. Call it big city mentality, but I just couldn't get over how unsafe that was for her to do. What if we were ax murderers? This is the part of the story where Hoop would laugh. He doesn't think I'm all that scary. I don't know why. I scare myself all the time. After the hair appointment, in which my 'do turned out looking like something from the 50's, I cornered my littlest brother and said, "Tell me the truth. Do I look stupid?"

Lil Bit stared at me for a moment in complete shock. "NO." He finally stuttered. "You look beautiful!" With that, we were off to the wedding. What happened after isn't the least bit blurry. I can honestly say that I remember each and every moment of that night. But I can't imagine it would be that interesting to you, so I'll skip around to all the highlights.
Newt and Daisy were the "mysterious" Bloggers who came down for the wedding and threw me a surprise bachelorette party (more on that Friday).

I don't know what I would have done without those girls! They were my bridesmaids, photographers and entertainment all in one. The only way I could repay them is to somehow convince Gerald Gerard (I'm such a tard) Butler and his hot friend to become their Cabana boys. If only I could build a big enough trap- but now I'm just rambling. After I was dressed and alone in the room, I practiced walking in my heels and dress. It was the first time I had combined the two. What I found was that I couldn't walk. Well, not easily.

The only efficient way of walking was to throw my legs out like a Russian soldier. Thank God I had on flashy shoes to distract people from it. Then the music began. Hoop and I hired a violinist to perform during the ceremony. My processional music was "Bittersweet Symphony" by the Verve, a favorite. Just before I stepped out on the grass I had a slight moment of panic. My heart felt like a broken bird. But the moment I saw Hoop, it completely went away. Nothing mattered after that. It was wonderful.

The files below are rather small. I had to hijack them off Hoop's cousin's site. I currently don't have many pictures of our wedding that aren't on someone else's website. Consider this a preview. I should have many more soon.

Believe it or not, these were MY shoes.

More tomorrow...


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 61!

The words for this week, brought to you by the letters J, A, and Y, were Public and Private.

Public Privates (Key West)

Private Beach (Cozumel)

And this isn't even one of the GOOD shots.

Public Display Of Stupidity

Statue grope!

P.S. I swear I own more than just the one dress.

Click HERE to see "Public Display of Stupidity 2", also known as "The Other Woman". I can't post it without it breaking Blogger. Stupid Blogger.

The words for next week are:

If you haven't joined the fun yet, go
here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
His and Her Luggage Tags
"The Glutton" Print
Oops Kit

WTF Etsy?:
A Love Painting
Unicorn Turds
Pretty Bacon Ornaments (I kind of like them!)

Tomorrow: A post about the wedding!

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Monday, November 17, 2008

Mrs. Hoop (and Mr. Tink)

I know you all have been patiently waiting for updates and pictures...

...but you're going to have to wait just a little bit longer.

Please, lower the pitchforks.

The wedding was wonderful. Other than a stubborn breeze keeping us from lighting our unity candle, the ceremony and reception went off without a hitch. My only disappointment was that no one saved me any cake. I think someone *cough*Hoop*cough* should buy me another to compensate. The honeymoon was amazing, full of beautiful sights and adventures (and just a couple of misadventures). Details and pictures to come. Work has me buried, and since I'm currently the sole breadwinner of this little family, I'm inclined to not lose my job. I know, life isn't fair.

I was reminded of that when we got home from the boat and I realized I was going to have to cook again. Then this morning, I dropped a towel on the floor and remembered that no one would be by later to pick it up and replace it with a fresh one. Bummer. Hoop thinks the solution to cruise withdrawal is to go on another, like, immediately. His idea is that we should sell everything and live in our car. Then we can stash all the money we make from our jobs to afford going on a cruise once a month. When I asked him what we would do in our car for entertainment (not to mention eating, washing, or going to the bathroom) he said, "stare at each other".

Oof. Here I go again, making a quick update into a rambling post. So, what did I miss in your world? I missed you guys! I see the beer is still here... Well, at least the cans are. Thanks again to the wonderful and amazing Jay for hosting the WWC. Come back here tomorrow for the newest edition. Later this week, I'll update you on the wedding and honeymoon. I'll probably stretch it out for a few posts. Believe me, you want this in doses. As a bonus, I might tell you about my kick ass bachelorette party (pending the girlfriends/bloggers who threw it for me don't mind).

P.S. For those who, like my coworkers, are inclined to ask if I feel different... I got married; I didn't get a face lift. Although I have to admit, Mrs. Hoop is going to take a bit of getting used to.

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Friday, November 07, 2008

Last Post As A Singleton!

What's happened in the last two days...

Three salon visits and $120 later, my hair is back to normal condition. Yay!

Hoop was laid off from his job.

One of our guests was taken to the emergency room. He's OK.

Three more guests were added to the roster last minute. Grr.

My two girlfriends (also Bloggers) threw me a kick-ass bachelorette party.

I got way toasty and molested a pink feather boa, not necessarily in that order.

I was so hungover this morning, I forgot to put mascara on one eye.

The wedding is taking place in exactly 24 hours from now!

Thanks for all the advice and well wishes! I'll see you on the flipside.

P.S. Don't forget to go to
Jay's for the WWC on Tuesday!


Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Pre-wedding Freak-out

I went into the hair salon two days ago to get my highlights touched up and came out a dark brunette. The woman said she had to even things out. I thought she meant with lowlights. I went in the next day to see if they could at least add some highlights back in. They gave me orange streaks. I AM NOT A HAPPY BRIDE. I have an emergency appointment at my Grandmother's (reputable) salon this afternoon to see if they can make me beautiful again. Pray my hair doesn't fall out.

After that, I have to get my nails done and then I have to run home to finish place cards. Tomorrow I'm working and then meeting up with two girlfriends, also Bloggers (Guess who!), for much deserved drinks. Friday is more work, followed by the rehearsal. Then Hoop and I have to split ways until the big day... SATURDAY. Holy shit, I'm getting married on Saturday! When did that happen? Didn't we just get engaged? I've lost five pounds in the last seven days. Did you know that getting married was the perfect weight loss regimen?

I wouldn't recommend this for the faint of heart though... or the faint of wallet. This is hands-down the most expensive five pounds I've ever lost. I'm hoping to gain it all back with cake. Mmmmm, cake. I'm not going to be on much for the rest of this week, if at all. Please don't take my silence as a sign that I don't love you. I'm just afraid to open my mouth, lest I start screaming and never stop. Just know that you all are in my thoughts, and please, let my hair be in yours. I'll try and pop on before the wedding to let you know that everything is OK and that I haven't run away.

Until then, have fun, be safe, and don't you dare touch the beer in the fridge.

Much Love,

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Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Weekly Words Challenge 59!

The words for this week were Hands and Feet.


I told the nail lady I wanted them Kit Kat colored.

Pirate FEET Tread Here

(Random Halloween Pictures)

Cannibal Kitchen Menu
Click HERE. For some reason, I can't post it without it breaking the blog.

Cannibal Food

Halloween Supplies

Candy Cauldron

Carving Pumpkins

Hoop's Pumpkin

Sporked Pumpkin

The words for next week are:

Don't forget,
Jay will be hosting in my place next week. So, stop by his blog to participate and find out the new words for November 11th - November 18th!

Maybe someday I'll double back and take pictures for Now and Then. I'd hate to let such good words go to waste. Ah well. If you haven't joined the fun yet, go
here for details. Don't forget, we also have a Flickr group for easy shareability. Plus, you get to find out the new words at least an hour earlier. Happy snapping!

Daily Etsy Pick:
Mexican Spice Kit
Wall Hanging Appendage (It's just cool enough.)

WTF Etsy?:
Michael Jackson and ET Painting
Terrifying Killer Clown Lightswitch Plate
Ginger Babies On Parade

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