Pickled Beef

(For full-sized images, please go to my Flickr page. I figured out how to fix the problem manually, but it still doesn't explain why Blogger will no longer reformat my pictures to fit in the post frame. Why does Blogger suck so bad?)

I had plans of doing all sorts of crazy things with the Bachelorette party pictures; like Photoshopping Newt and Daisy into incriminating scenes involving half-naked firemen or something. But, I got drunk on Saturday afternoon at book club and then Hoop and I spent all day Sunday pretending that we were going to do something productive, but really just playing video games in our underwear. Hey, don't judge! We're old married peeps now. We can do whatever the hell we want.

These are my girls. That's Daisy (the Shoe Whore) to the left, me in the middle, Newt to the right. What you can't tell from the picture is, I'm wearing a pink boa, a veil, little crown earrings/necklace and an engraved "Homebloys" bracelet. They practically *mugged me when I got to their hotel room. *Would it still be considered "mugging" if they put stuff on me instead of taking stuff off? Hoop, who had stopped in to meet our honored guests, didn't stick around for dinner. I think he was afraid to be seen with me, personally.

As well as dressing me up, the girls gave me a waffle maker for luck, a Wedding Day Emergency Kit (in a Tinkerbell backpack no less) and lingerie. All three have been used and loved, the first and the last by Hoop especially. After dinner, the girls and I took a short drive to the most popular beach bar. Seeing as it was only 8-something on a Thursday night, it wasn't very crowded. But we didn't let that stop us from making asses out of ourselves. The bartender kept us supplied in free shots and when those ran dry, the girls kept me supplied in drinks. I don't think I've ever been so spoiled!

Here's Daisy and I pointing at the bill Newt signed to commemorate the night.

Sometime after this picture was taken, it started getting fuzzy... or maybe wobbly is the better word. I remember some old guy hitting on Daisy and then us deciding to skip over to the gas station next door. Did we sing "We're off to see the Wizard", or did I imagine that? Newt and I were sitting outside waiting on Daisy to reemerge from the bathroom when the store attendant came out for a chat and a smoke break. To my utter annoyance, the girl turned out to be someone I went to school with. I remember the chick talked a lot, mostly about other people I hadn't seen since high school.

On any other occasion, a person like her would have killed my buzz. But this time it only intensified it. I think it's because I was thinking the words, "GO AWAY" as hard as I could. By the time she went back in (and Daisy came out) my head was humming. We headed to the pier, but not before rescuing Daisy from herself and then from someone I'm pretty sure was a dumpster dweller. Oh, and let's not forget that hot Mexican on the beach. Or maybe I made that part up. At some point, we made it back to the hotel.

Newt was nice enough to give me a shirt and a bed for the night. I woke up four hours later in bed with a trashcan (unused, thankfully). With one eye open, I drove to the hotel where Hoop was staying. The room was 89 degrees when I walked in and Hoop was laying belly up, fully dressed on the bed. I rubbed his stomach and he nodded happily in his sleep. That's how I knew he'd had a nice Bachelor party. I was dog tired that day, but it was worth it. I couldn't have asked for a cooler party, or for better friends.

Picture Updates by Alex M.

Walking Down The Aisle