Monday, January 16, 2006

Reverse Order

Sunday: Before I begin, there are a few things that you should know...

1. I've owned my own house for three years now. Surprisingly, owning a house did NOT help my dating life. If anything it seriously handicapped it. I can't tell you how many times a perfectly good date was ruined by the question, "So, where do you live?" I would watch my date's face freeze as I answered. No more drinks were ordered, and any thought of dessert was quickly nipped with my date's request of the check. Some played it off better than others. But for the most part, I knew I wasn't going to get a call the next day.

A guy friend finally put me out of my misery. "You're a threat," he said. I screamed like a Banshee and then punched him... Actually I think I just sat there confused. "A threat?" "Yeah, you're too successful. You're too self sufficient. Guys don't know where they fit into that." I was crushed. All I had wanted was some stability. I had worked hard to purchase the little bit of dirt and concrete that I came to own. I didn't understand why I was being punished for it.

2. Eventually I did meet someone. He lived with me for a year and never once moved anything personal into the house. Not one iota. I offered to hang pictures of his kids. I made arrangements for a truck so we could move his belongings out of storage. I filled a room with boxes and crates and tape in preparation. Nothing... When he left me, there was nothing to take with him. I came home to a house that was empty of the person in it and nothing else. There was a note. That was my only indication.

3. Hoop has lived with me for the last two months, all while still maintaining an apartment on the other side of town. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been worried. Hoop put his notice in at the complex a week ago.

Last night as Hoop and I boxed and bagged the things from his apartment, I found myself going through some serious emotional swings. I was irritated that he was keeping so much junk. I was hurt by some of the personal effects left over from his previous life and wife. I was anxious to get everything moved. I walked down to the car and fought back tears. "What the hell is wrong with me?!" Hoop noticed that I was quiet on the way home. I talked when it was necessary and smiled when it was appropriate, but I couldn't fully place myself in the moment. When we got home he turned to me.

"Thank you..." "For what?" "Helping me." I looked up at him. He looked down at me with so much love, I couldn't feel anything but grateful. He has junk... So what? We all have junk. That's what kitchen drawers are for. He had a life before me... Yeah, but I can give him better. What if he leaves? Chances are you'll be with him if he does. Will everything be OK? It always was, wasn't it? It always will be too. I wrapped my arms around Hoop and felt us tumble to the couch. I laughed as he covered my face in kisses. "Could you get used to this?" He asked. "Absolutely. Could you?" I asked back. "I already am."

Saturday: I finally figured out how to load pictures off of Hoop's camera and onto my computer. Hence the cheesy shot of us at the top. I also discovered a multitude of neat editing features that kept me from some well needed sleep. Here's one of Lil' Bit

Controversial Friday:
1. My friend's little girl came home and described her teacher's boyfriend as a, "Puerto Frickin." My friend tried to correct her, but she couldn't get the six year old to understand that she was saying it wrong.
2. I found a stack of newspapers that a couple of friends and I had created for our club when we were eleven. In one I referred to a girl in my class calling me a, "Prostotote." Egad. Should I be offended by the term or the spelling more?
3. Hoop does not believe in kissing after receiving head. He thinks that will classify him as gay.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
(On the way to my parents house)
Hoop: Do you want to go shoot my gun before we leave?
Tink: No, we're already late.
Hoop: But it'll only take five minutes.
Tink: No Hoop.
Hoop: Can I shoot it out the window on the way there?
Tink: Can you what?!
Hoop: Just at signs. I'll be careful.
Tink: I don't think so.
Hoop: What if I just pretend?
Tink: You're not allowed to read that book anymore.



At 16 January, 2006, Blogger The Gradual Gardener said...

I love the picture!

Oh, and my husband agrees with #3. Are guys weird, or what?

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, Sunday #3 is really sweet! Yay!

Woah, that daily Hoop conversation is a little scary (altho it's a lot more hysterical)! Reading material MUST... CHANGE... NOW...

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

What a sweet picture.

Tom agrees with #3 too. Sillyheads...

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger mama_tulip said...

Get used to the junk, LOL. I let Dave put all of his crap in the garage. It's horrible. I get all shaky and claustrophobic when I'm in there. But whatever, it's his spot and if he keeps it out there and not in here, it's all good.

And it's worth it. ;)

Love the glad that I finally have an image to put with Hoop now. :)

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Gradual Gardener: YES. Weird being the understatement. ;)

Chris: He believes he's a gunslinger now. He even made me watch "Unforgiven" on Friday night. I've created a monster.

Mary: As bizarre as it sounds I'm really glad to hear it's a typical male affliction and not just some crazy tic Hoop has. *Eye-roll*

Mama T: Thanks for the forewarning. My house has no garage. I'm doomed! lol

There are a couple more pics here:

At 16 January, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Aw, you guys are adorable. And congratulations on the move! It's always a little stressful when you make such a big commitment. From what I can tell, you guys are wonderful for each other. I was thinking about you on Saturday as we were driving around looking at houses in Florida.

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

TB: I was thinking about you this weekend too girl. Once you're settled and everything is a little less hectic we're all going to have to meet up for coffee, dinner, or drive-by-sign-shootings. LOL I promise it'll be one of the first two.

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Very sweet picture.

I can't imagine anyone leaving you, what with that cannoli recipe and cuteness and everything!

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger The Queen Mama said...

OK, Tink, I'm lost. What book is he reading, for God's sake?

You guys look really cute together. Hoop looks completely different than I had imagined him.

Hubby still has a red phone from the early 80s. And his old pillow from about that time, too (euuu, gross!) I'm afraid you're right...they all come with junk. Love is all about the compromise, ain't it?

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Arabella: Aw. ((HUG)) You know, the guy who left called 3 months later for my Marsala Porkchop recipe. The nerve. I laughed and hung up the phone.

Queen Mama: He's reading "The Gunslinger/Dark Tower" series by Stephen King. No, he's DEVOURING them. He went from not reading at all to carrying the damn books around with him. Tell me your hubby doesn't actually use that pillow! Ewww. I'm with you girl.

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Brooke said...

Your pic is SO adorable! Good luck with everything!

At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

That gun thing is HILARIOUS!! It so reminds me of something my husband would say!!

At 16 January, 2006, Anonymous Amanda B. said...

You guys are adorable. I'm glad Hoop's making the move for good, even if he is gay.


At 16 January, 2006, Blogger Ditsy Chick said...

Cute pic Tink. Congrats on making the big move. I cleaned out a ton of my hubbys junk while he was at work and he has yet to miss it. Am I bad?

#3 - all men feel this way, I think. They want you to taste the potion of love, but, oh, no they can't do that!

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger Alien said...

OMG! You guys are sooo cute! (And look WAY younger than I was picturing. LOL!)

And um, my husband has no problem kissing after head, but we all think he's half gay, so well, yeah. I guess we shouldn't use him as a reference point.

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger mE said...

ROFL!! Today's Hoop Conversation sounds as though it were a conversation with the Vampire, on both sides.

Of course, I don't know if that's scarier from your side or from mine...


At 17 January, 2006, Blogger V said...

Those puerto frickin' prostitotes! Good that a new designer handbag?
Very cute picture! Well worth the cheesiness! And I totally hear you on the weird feelings upon REAL moving in. Had a week full of them myself!

At 17 January, 2006, Blogger Dan said...

The picture is cute.

I sort of agree with #3. How did it taste your first time?


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