Friday, February 13, 2009

Married White Female

We were watching Lost last night, the part in Wednesday's episode where someone dies. I was frowning at the screen, totally into the moment, when Hoop turned to me and said...

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: If I had just died, and we'd never had sex before, would you feel my package?
Tink: What?
Hoop: You know, to see what you were missing?
Tink: NO.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: ...
Hoop: ...
Tink: ...Would you?!

************
I think I'm going to place a want ad in the local alternative paper... for some girlfriends. Yeah, there's just no way to say that without sounding like a loser. For the last five years I've worked at a beer distributor, surrounded by men. What few women I have as coworkers are either older or have incompatible lifestyles. I'm not in school. My extracurricular activities consist of drinking with the boys and attending a monthly wine book club, which I thoroughly enjoy, but that caters to women twice my age.

I've unintentionally cut off all avenues for finding girlfriends in my age bracket. But I refuse to believe that I'm alone in this. I live in a military city, after all! Surely there are women who have followed their soldiers here, only to be left alone while their partners fight overseas. I'm not looking for a BFF. Shit, I'm not even looking for a BF. I just want someone with low drama who wants to meet for a drink or sushi or shopping every once in awhile. Any suggestions how I can write this thing without sounding like a freak or a pervert?

So, anyway, we'll see. Maybe something will come of it...

...or maybe it'll just be really great blog fodder.

Have a great weekend Homebloys!

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38 Comments:

At 13 February, 2009, Blogger furiousBall said...

Hoop is a fucking scientist. If I was funding a think tank to study awesomeness, I'd totally hire him.

Oh btw, I'm invading Florida this Sunday, I'll be in Estero and then Miami.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Anonymous Mike said...

Girls? Mid 20's? LOW DRAMA..... good luck ;)

But anyways.

If I was you, I'd pick a girly team hobby that appeals to girls in the under 40 age bracket. Say you are looking for participants for.... whatever it is you pick.

That way, you don't come off as a " I NEED A FRIEND!" loser. That won't work.

But that group activity as mentioned above will get you to meet new people.

As far as activities that will attract young women go? Let me know what you come up with, I may just try that myself :P

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Gordo said...

Whatever happens, we'll be waiting to find out. :-)

And Hoop rocks. LOL

 
At 13 February, 2009, OpenID kcinnova said...

I meet most of my girl friends at church. But yes, I bet you could meet plenty of young military gals (wives or active duty themselves) at something there. Do they have any bulletin boards there for activities?

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Gramps said...

How about this?

"Married white female, mid-20s, looking for HOT time with other HOT women my age. May or may not include HOT times with my HOT husband."

I don't think there's anything pervert-y about that.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Anonymous Susan said...

Low drama? Good luck with that!

I'm gonna have to agree with those that suggest meeting over some sort of hobby/activity. Garden club? A craft? Beer guzzling?

 
At 13 February, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH! A womans beer club, members 40 and under. Where every once in a while this guy comes in with some good beer finds and has them try all the beers he brings with him. He of course would have his own beer blog, and be a major beer enthusiast.

Fantastic idea, of course some of them could be single woman too, right? :)

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Reb said...

I was never happier than hanging out with the guys, so I'm not much help. Go with the hobby/activity thing...maybe join a ball team, or running or cycling group? Take a class in pottery or glass blowing?

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Tawcan said...

Lol Hoop has some interest thoughts. ;)

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Alice said...

i've actually responded to a craigslist ad where a girl basically wrote just that - that it's hard to make girlfriends in dc, and she was looking for some lowkey ladies who might be interested in hanging out occasionally. she ended up getting a lot of responses, and about 15 of us ended up meeting up for drinks a number of times. totally not loser-y or pervy.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger HalfAsstic.com said...

Spawn a kid. I am telling you, there has never been anything more unifying amongst women than their kids.
Too long term? ;-)

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Jay said...

That funny. I was considering taking out ads for girlfriends too. ;-)

Okay, I think honesty is important in these ads. So, here we go ..

Mid 20's working married chick looking for girlfriends to just hang out with. I'm hotter, smarter and funnier than you, so you'll just have to deal with it. If you can accept that then give me a shout out!

I think that would work.

And you could always direct the single ladies towards my blog if you want. I'm just sayin'.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Knight said...

I tend to have more guy friends than girls. It's probably because my hobbies are drinking and eating. Maybe we could find someone to jet us back and forth and we can hang out. As soon as JetBlue has $10 flights I'll be there.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

Me! Me! ME!

I'm easy going and low-key! [Albeit slightly germa-phobic but beer and liquor kill germs] :-D

I wish, I wish....one day I'll figure out how to make that beam thingie they had on StarTrek.

And, everyone can beam over to my house for poker and wine, beer and bitchin, or whatever else we are in the mood for.

And, the best part? No driving while intoxicated. The worst that could happen is I'd beam you back to the wrong house. :-D

Me, You, Knight. We'd rock. Ok and KC could hang out with us too cuz' she's easy going and not all "drama."

Hoop could hang with my DH and the guys when they are drinking beer and bar-b-queing on tailgates.

Happy Friday!!

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

Tink, if you and KC and Knight and FW lived near each other you would have the most damn fun of any group of friends EVER.
meanwhile, while you're having your "reading group"., me, Hoop and Jay would be playing darts and watching South Park. I know. I am easily amused.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Chris said...

Hmm. I wonder if there are knitters near you.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Mouse said...

Good luck finding girl-friends minus the drama.. I've ended up hanging out with my husband's friends because most of the women I run across IRL are drama-fest bitches.
If I lived closer I would totally hang out with you.. even though I'm more 3o'something than 20'something and I don't eat sushi or drink beer. I do however have a perverse sense of humour..so that should count for something lol.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Persnickety Ticker said...

Hey Tink? Not to sound all stalkerish on you or anything, but we are neighbors. And I totally get you. And think you are a riot. And we could always hang if you wanted to. Cuz I think we could have all kinds of fun and/or get into trouble. ;)

I am not edge of the seat thrilling, but I am a female, early 30's who acts like she is still in her twenties. Been told I'm kinda funny. I knit. Oh! And I know other female type humans that are also in this area that I could introduce you to.

Just saying.

You can never have too many friends.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Anonymous Daisy said...

1. I wonder how to meet people all the time! Why do you think I do this virtual thing?

2. Having a kid to meet women? No. Kids are an isolating experience.

3. Hmm. That knitting suggestion. There are a plethora of funky cool craft books out (where do you think all that stuff on etsy comes from -- the people who write those books!) and I suddenly have visions of you forming a craft crew where you make purses styled like bento boxes and small felt sushi rolls with cheerful faces that fit inside....

4. There seem to be enough of us admitting to not having the girlfriends we'd like to hang out with that if someone ever does invent that transportation beam, we could have a fabulous time hanging out! (Though I am older than your desired demographic. Sigh. Don't mind me. I"ll just trudge off into the snowstorm to die...)

5. When you start the crazy craft thing, do promise to post the creations, eh?

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Tactless Wonder said...

I second the knitting/crafting/crocheting thing.

Find a yarn store, stat.

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger Woman in a Window said...

Are you serious? Are you going to write this thing? Go somewhere where you can meet a cool person like a graveyard or the Bronyx. Oops, sorry, just watched two back to back Buffys!

(OK, admission. Earlier today when you wrote that at my place I was feeling all special and shucks. Now I'm feeling a little conflicted...naw, go kick some ass!)

 
At 13 February, 2009, Blogger The Queen said...

Now listen here little Miss Tink... some of us OVER THE HILL gang are kinda fun..

While I would have no problem attending a book club that served wine, do not think you can expect me to read the book..

Nor, will I tolerate a review of the book without first being offered a bottle of wine..

and.. I'll have you know... I went to my first male stripper club at age 50...AND I SPENT A LOT OF MR. KINGS MONEY THERE!!! and... I made a lot of noise.....

so... THE OVER THE HILL gang... can ride.. high and mighty..across the plains of fundom....

I'm just sayin,,,,

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND KIDDO!!!

 
At 14 February, 2009, Blogger J said...

You can just live by me, and then we can be friends. Problem solved.

 
At 14 February, 2009, Blogger Peggy said...

It is merely geography that keeps us from a lunch date where we overfill on sushi. We can decostruct celebrity culture and have a good laugh about others ("Does he OWN a mirror?") that aren't nearly as cool as we are.

You are so groovy, I can't image that this temporary dip in irreverant female companionship will last long.

 
At 14 February, 2009, Blogger Karen said...

Don't any of the guys that hang out with have girlfriends that you steal? I did that quite a bit.

I am scared of craigslist type of post to find friends.

 
At 14 February, 2009, Blogger meno said...

It's odd how hard it is to find friends, especially if you lack the usual credentials, like being a christian.

I like Jay's ad. Truth in advertising.

 
At 14 February, 2009, Blogger Woman in a Window said...

Not really conflicted at all. Feel honoured in my all backwards kinda way.

Hey, if you ever need me to swoop in and kick ass on your behalf or if you ever need to borrow sugar...I'm at eabones@hotmail.com I don't have gmail anymore 'cause it got me into trouble. (long story)

 
At 14 February, 2009, Anonymous Raven said...

I totally have the same problem, being a SAHM with a teenager doesn't exactly mean I am running off to playdates or anything.

It sucks!

 
At 15 February, 2009, Blogger Knot said...

You are going to hate me for saying this, but try church. You'll find people like you just looking for friends. They usually meet during the week at night. Big churches have big get-togethers so you can bump into more people.

Other than that you can try junior league or something like that.

 
At 15 February, 2009, Blogger Alli said...

You are definitely not alone. I think it does become more challenging to find good friends when we get older and are no longer in school.

 
At 15 February, 2009, Blogger mamatulip said...

I want to live near you so we can drink wine and eat sushi and go shopping.

 
At 16 February, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey!! me too! all my 'girlfriends' are the girlfriends of my 'boyfriends!'it sucks. let us know how you get on x

Ellie

 
At 16 February, 2009, Blogger Janet said...

How about taking a photography class? But you know, I bet the Craigslist thing will work for you...you're the right age!

 
At 16 February, 2009, Blogger ETK said...

Dear Tink,

Please move to the ATL and we can totally be BFFs (or just casual shop/drink GFs).

Love,
ETK

 
At 17 February, 2009, Blogger fiwa said...

I feel your pain. Thankfully I found a blogger buddy who lives just around the corner from me, and another who lives in the general area.

You could always move to Seattle...
just sayin'. :)

 
At 22 February, 2009, Anonymous TB said...

Check out Meet Up. I bet someone else has already put something out there and if not I guarantee you will get some great blog fodder.
We could definitely do a halfway day trip sometime.

 
At 23 February, 2009, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

He would TOTALLY feel your package. You're a good looking woman with all the right curves. He'd be lying if he said he wouldn't. But I'm sure he said he would and I'm sure you blushed and maybe even acted a little disgusted.

Actually, the thought of it all is pretty wrong. I probably wouldn't now that I think about it. Oh, my.

 
At 24 February, 2009, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, it's too bad you're in Florida & I'm in Toronto because otherwise we could TOTALLY hang out. Where I currently SUCK in blogging, I am great with getting together because I so rarely get out these days that I jump at the chance. Now THAT's sad. ;)
xo
Freakazojd

 

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