5 Signs That We're In A Recession
(And it's all true!)
5. A new Salvation Army thrift store opened up down the street from our house last week. There were so many cars there, I thought the circus was in town.
4. Each morning, CNN.com's front page features a different guy on Wall Street holding his head in horror. I've started taking bets on where the next guy's hand placement will be. "Will it be on his forehead or his mouth? Oh! It was his cheek! Better luck next time." Can you imagine if that was your claim to fame? "Yeah, I was Tuesday's guy. My hand? It was on my chin. Why?"
3. Our neighbors have been holding a garage sale for over a month now. At what point does it qualify as a garage store? If you're asleep for a week, they don't call it a really long slumber. No, they call it a COMA.
2. One of our wedding guests ordered an extra meal so he'd have something to eat later.
1. The value of houses in Florida has dropped so much, Hoop and I may OWE the bank by the time we sell. On the other hand, the value of *porn has gone way up. So, we might be saved.
*Have I mentioned that Hoop collects Playboy cards? Apparently, when people believe the world is ending, they hoard the things they're going to miss the most. For some people it's cheese in a can. For others, it's girls with hand-bras.
Labels: Wit and Quips