Gallimaufry

(noun: A hodgepodge or jumble.)

My parents live in central Florida, which is about 45 minutes from where Hoop and I live. Somewhere in between the two, at about the 30 minute mark, the weather pattern changes entirely. It's like the difference between the Sahara and the Tropics. Last month, the waterway beside our neighborhood flooded. Meanwhile, the lakes in my parents' town were dwindling away to puddles. If Hoop doesn't mow for two weeks, the weeds in our yard begin to devour our house. My parent's struggle to grow anything besides dirt. You would think we'd all be used to these differences.

Saturday morning, Mom called to tell me that they were leaving for the zoo. "So you're going to meet us there, right?" I stared at the downpour outside. "Um. I hate to break it to you, but I don't think we're going to the zoo today." She told me not to be silly; it was sunny outside. "Oh-kay." Then I got ready to go to the movies. Thirty minutes later, I received a phone call. "It's pouring!" Mom wailed into the phone. "Would it be OK if we went to the movies instead?" "Sure!" I told her before reading off the movie times I'd pulled from the computer 30 minutes before.

We went to see "Ghost Town". I can describe the movie in one word. SLOW. I would have rather watched two snails wrestling. The story is about an unlikeable dentist who goes in for rectal surgery, dies, is revived, and then starts seeing dead people. Only, these dead people want things from him. The rest of the movie is one long, boring boy-tries-to-get-girl subplot that isn't even interesting. Just when you think you might fall asleep, they throw something funny in, bait enough to keep you watching (and hoping). Skip this one altogether. Hoop and I gave it one out of five sporks.

Sunday evening, Hoop and I went to visit his Mom. As I mentioned two posts ago, the soon-to-be-MIL still hadn't gotten us the addresses of the people she wanted to invite. I'd long ago decided not to care about it, seeing as I'd already sent out the other invitations and was busy rounding up RSVPs already. But Hoop couldn't let it go. "Have you got the addresses yet?" He badgered her on Sunday. Then she did something I will never forget. She handed him a phonebook and huffed, "Well, they're listed in the yellow pages." Then, to my utter shock and disbelief, Hoop did something equally absurd...

...he handed ME the phonebook.

Un-fucking-real. I handed the book right back to him, of course. Apparently, they have both lost their fucking minds. My new name for Hoop's Mom is MILzilla. My new name for Hoop is Stupid. On top of that, Hoop's Dad keeps telling me our wedding website is down. Granted, the man has never tried to access the site himself. No, he's taking the word of some computer-illiterate friend. Despite my assurances and telling him how many people HAVE accessed the site, he doesn't believe me. Ugh. I'm done. I'll be drinking in the corner until this is all through. Let me know when I need to walk down the aisle, OK?

So, what fun and exciting things did you do this weekend?