Dum dum de dum

Mom and I went to a bridal show on Sunday. The tickets were free and I was bribed with cake. FREE CAKE. Sweet Jebus, they could have asked me to show up in a toilet paper gown and I would have done it. When we arrived, I was instantly assaulted by a greeter with a "Here Comes The Bride" sticker. The woman never stopped smiling, even while she was talking. Then we were handed empty bags and directed through a door like two trick-or-treaters entering a fun house.

I was just telling Mom, "This isn't nearly as creepy as I thought it would be," when we entered a room decorated to look like a church. There was even a harpist. The next room was set up like a reception hall. They had a DJ, and hors d'oeuvres, flowers coated in glitter, and lots and lots of bows. I'll be honest, it looked like Easter had thrown up all over the place. Who knew pale pink and green en masse could actually make someone feel ill? The main room was a little better, but only because there was food.

In total, Mom and I spent about thirty minutes at the show. Most of it was spent pushing through crowds to get to chocolate covered strawberries and bite sized petit fours. The other brides were busy snatching up fliers and jabbing at each other with elbows to reserve vendors. It was a relief to be able to say, "No, thank you. I already have one of those." Although, I did snag a coupon for tuxes and saw a few ceremony decorations that I might like to duplicate. I also saw a few people that I hadn't seen in years.

It was funny to watch them glance at my obnoxious discreet bride sticker and then exclaim "I see congratulations are in order!" If they were hoping for details, I gave them none. It was at about that point that the cake binge caught up with me. Cake, it's like crack turned kryptonite. I was ill for the rest of the night. But now, just thinking about all those sweets has me googling when the next show will be. Mom and I have decided this might be our new yearly thing.

Only next year, we're going to lie and say Mom is the bride.

P.S. For those who have been asking, the wedding is November 8th!