Thursday, September 04, 2008

Dum dum de dum

Mom and I went to a bridal show on Sunday. The tickets were free and I was bribed with cake. FREE CAKE. Sweet Jebus, they could have asked me to show up in a toilet paper gown and I would have done it. When we arrived, I was instantly assaulted by a greeter with a "Here Comes The Bride" sticker. The woman never stopped smiling, even while she was talking. Then we were handed empty bags and directed through a door like two trick-or-treaters entering a fun house.

I was just telling Mom, "This isn't nearly as creepy as I thought it would be," when we entered a room decorated to look like a church. There was even a harpist. The next room was set up like a reception hall. They had a DJ, and hors d'oeuvres, flowers coated in glitter, and lots and lots of bows. I'll be honest, it looked like Easter had thrown up all over the place. Who knew pale pink and green en masse could actually make someone feel ill? The main room was a little better, but only because there was food.

In total, Mom and I spent about thirty minutes at the show. Most of it was spent pushing through crowds to get to chocolate covered strawberries and bite sized petit fours. The other brides were busy snatching up fliers and jabbing at each other with elbows to reserve vendors. It was a relief to be able to say, "No, thank you. I already have one of those." Although, I did snag a coupon for tuxes and saw a few ceremony decorations that I might like to duplicate. I also saw a few people that I hadn't seen in years.

It was funny to watch them glance at my obnoxious discreet bride sticker and then exclaim "I see congratulations are in order!" If they were hoping for details, I gave them none. It was at about that point that the cake binge caught up with me. Cake, it's like crack turned kryptonite. I was ill for the rest of the night. But now, just thinking about all those sweets has me googling when the next show will be. Mom and I have decided this might be our new yearly thing.

Only next year, we're going to lie and say Mom is the bride.

P.S. For those who have been asking, the wedding is November 8th!

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20 Comments:

At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

Just the thought of all the cake is making me ill. Easter vomit ill. I'm going to google one and force people to come with me anyway. Tick or treating for cake would be amazing.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

I went to one of these with my friend Megan, who's getting married in April. She put her name in a ton of the raffles and ended up winning a $500 coupon at one of the local bridal stores...which she promptly gave to her bridesmaids for their dresses! So it only ended up costing me like $75 for my dress. Sweet!

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Melanie said...

Now it sounds like you and mom had a blast. all except the cake. Dont get yours from that vendor.

I went to one bride show when i was in the throws of "being engaged". It terrified me. And when they were giving away a wedding gown? And they announced my exact birthday? I was even more terrified. Ended up being another girl with the exact birthday.

A big sigh of relief. Needless to say. I am still single. Partially because of the FROO FROO. The thought of a wedding makes me break out in the "run away as quickly as possible".

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger J said...

Even better: next year bring Hoop along and tell everyone that he's the bride.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

LOL at J's comment!

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Tink said...

J You. Are. Brilliant!

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

I've got blisters on my precious little feet from my new exercise regiment and you're out there stuffing yourself silly with wedding ca..ca...cake???!! And ch..cho...cho..chocolate covered strawberries??!! HURUMPH! ;) Sounds like a good time, I may have to google one of those bride shows...

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Eileen said...

We got all sorts of cake and cookies and chocolate (and white chocolate) covered strawberries... and a rose, and a really fabulous variety concert... at the 'gee whiz, thanks' ceremony given by our local medical/dental school for the families of people who donated their bodies last year.

Why does a gathering for *brides* end up sounding creepier than a gathering for the dead?

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

Nov 8th? Aww crap, I already have a trip booked. Damn.........

And J IS brilliant. I love that idea.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

this was perfectly timed for me ... because as i was reading this, i was nomming on the best birthday cake EVER.

from a grocery store. go figure.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Anonymous susan said...

I went to one of these when the idea was new...it was so cheesy and NO free cake. Ick.

Who get to be the bride after your mom?

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Karen said...

I didn't realize the wedding was so soon. Wow! How exciting.

I want cake now.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

It's fun to think of you and your mom filling your bags with cake and then listening to gay techno while licking your fingers all the way home.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger Michael Knight Rambo said...

I just used the word Jebus today too! I'm gonna go buy a lotto ticket.

And also, free sh_t's cool.

 
At 04 September, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

One thing I've never gone to is a bridal show, but I might just have to check one out, on account of the cake.

I got married on Nov. 2. It's a good month. :)

 
At 05 September, 2008, Blogger ETK said...

LOL, that was hilarious. :)

 
At 05 September, 2008, Blogger gary rith said...

Eating cake is no fun unless you overdo it and become ILL.

 
At 05 September, 2008, Blogger hepmomto3 said...

Congrats Tink! (Haven't been by here in a while, so I didn't know your wedding was so soon! *blush*) love your pics BTW. I'm still trying to figure out the wet rot. LOL

 
At 05 September, 2008, OpenID kcinnova said...

I never went to a bridal show, probably because they are usually in April or something...and I got married in early March. But I see now that I missed out, because I've never seen what Easter Bunny vomit looks like, and I could go for some FREE CAKE!!

 
At 10 September, 2008, Blogger Saffa Chick said...

November 8th! Less than 2 months! Aha, now I know wht you're happy - there is light at the end of the tunnel.

 

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