Monday, September 08, 2008

Blogger Seeking Fodder

Today's blog fodder is brought to you by Folioweekly.

Women Seeking Men

BLUE-EYED BLONDE. Young, pretty, 54, 5'6", looking for preferably blue-collar clown who will tease me and make me laugh. If you want someone special to live and laugh with, contact me. Hardworking, loyal, honesty a must. Be careful what you wish for!

Bozo says, "54! I thought you said she was 'young'."

Men Seeking Women

BAKED BEANS = INCREASE MILEAGE. Mentally retired, high-school grad, non-smoker, non-drinker, can't dance. Single white male, 51, 6', 195, iron-pumping, nose-picking, book reader, movie lover, ravenous eater! Seeking single white female, private sex therapist to cure aging, hormone overload, sleeplessness, boredom! In this case, honesty is probably NOT the best policy. Also, did anyone else mistakenly read mentally retired as mentally retarded?

ELVIS IN THE BUILDING. Well... sorta! Played drums for Elvis. I am 55, attractive, good shape, non-smoker, social drinker, music lover, active, loving, caring, down-to-earth, very romantic, full head of hair. So "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" Let's "Shake, Rattle and Roll." The man has been dead thirty-one years and you're still riding on his coattails?

I Saw You

BIG RED. Now this is very bold! You're so fine, you blow my mind. Maybe in time we can have more than coffee in common? Until then, I guess that I'll see you around. From Little Red. I got five bucks that the dude's real name is Mickey.

THE INCREDIBLE SNAIL. You scoot, scoot, scoot on your candy red apple. The service was great. Extra cheese, hold the fork. Cucumbers are a must. Smoothies sometime? I'm sure you're sick of coffee. It's legal in my sexy red shoe. It's ads like these that make me believe in secret drug rings.

TINSELTOWN HOTTIE. Your flaming red hair set my heart on fire. Your beautiful blue eyes chilled me to the bone. I regret being too shy to ask for your number. Let's rendezvous for a late night double feature! Rawr! Love, Icy-Hot.

COLOR ME BAD. You: Blue bear, blue bear... getting tattooed, you're so cool! Me: Tall, blonde vixen... not! (funny noise, funny noise) make the pain go away! Maybe we can color in the Hello Kitty coloring book together one day! ...What?

KOH CD RELEASE PARTY. You: The devil. Me: Your doll. I think our friends were as shocked as we are. We are life long fishing buddies! Let's go argue about this in bed naked! Even rednecks find true love. Aw.

UNICORN GIRL. You're honestly the prettiest unicorn I've ever seen. And on top of that, you're a girl, too. Best combo ever. Even better than peanut butter and bread. Nothing beats peanut butter and bread. NOTHING.

Tomorrow I will be out of the office and unable to check everyone's WWC submissions. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't post them! I should have mine up by *tonight and I'll come by your blogs first thing on Wednesday. *Unless I can actually figure out how to set auto-post. Happy snapping!

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23 Comments:

At 08 September, 2008, Blogger J said...

Ok, that picture of Bozo officially creeped me out. Talk about having a bad case of the "Clownies".

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

Aww love. People say the dumbest things. I'm off to my clown shoe fitting. Ta!

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Dana said...

Did you notice how many of these were from people over 50?? See what happens when you get "old"? This is what is left to choose from! EGADS!

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

"Mentally retired, high-school grad, non-smoker, non-drinker, can't dance."

BOOOOOOOOOOOOORING! ;-)

I assume the dude who played drums for Elvis can prove this? I didn't think so. haha

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

LOL I love reading the seekings! they're so funny! And they help me to really appreciate what I have with Wifester.
I actually saw one one time that said
"Clog dancing,transgendered Native Pacific Islander seeks same for up to 3 year relationship. Drugs and STDs OK."
ok, first of all,just how many clog dancing transgendered native pacific islanders could there possibly be? and aren't you limiting yourself? then to say "for up to 3 year relationship", like, everything was going fine, dear, but we've hit the 3 year mark, so i've gotta end it! and that last line...well, ahem, snortle...

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Hilary said...

Geesh! I'm really glad that Bozo said it.. because if Tink had said it.. I'd be one grumbly OLD commenter.

(takes her blue hair and teeters off...)

;)

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

WWC! WWC! And, I thought I had it all together with dinner ready to go in the oven, vloggie done, kids homework done, memory verse practice x 1, groceries bought (at a steal), and reading and play time left...

I knew I was forgetting something! [She exits scrambling for camera and to remember the words of the week!]

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Jen said...

Bow-chica-bow-chica-bow-wow. . .

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger LL said...

My name is not Mickey! :ewink:

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Maggie said...

the baked beans guy sounds like a real catch. hoowa

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

Hum, wondering if the life long fishing buddies are Brokeback Mountain sorts. That might just disqualify them as rednecks. Not sure.

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

I TOTALLY read that as "retarded."

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger gary rith said...

Oh, I dunno, peanut and bread? No jam? How about peanut butter on ice cream or nearly everything else?

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Michael Knight Rambo said...

I love I Saw You ads. I admit to seeing if I am sawed every week out of sick desperation. It's horrible.
I swear- I once read one where a guy with "nice hair, dressed in black" wanted to talk to a "pretty girl in black dress" but couldn't because she was crying too much at a FUNERAL.
I hope it was a sick joke.

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

To set auto-post you just alter the timestamp on your post ahead of time and press publish. Should work a treat :)

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Woah. That Colour Me Bad one is totally fucked.

 
At 08 September, 2008, Blogger Eileen said...

Um. I never thought I was afraid of clowns. Until now.

(Now, afraid FOR clowns, that I've been for a long time... ask my son)

 
At 08 September, 2008, Anonymous kcinnova said...

Those are just....wrong.
I answered a personal ad ONCE. The guy was a creepy stalker.

 
At 09 September, 2008, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

My WWC is up! YAY, I'm on time for a change! :)

 
At 09 September, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

you know what they say about guys that wear clown shoes right?

they're clowns.

 
At 09 September, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

stupid clown. And what Hilary said.

 
At 09 September, 2008, Blogger moo said...

can't sleep, clowns will eat me.

 
At 09 September, 2008, Anonymous pabees said...

I joined the WWC! www.blog.pabees.org

 

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