Blogger Seeking Fodder
Today's blog fodder is brought to you by Folioweekly.
Women Seeking Men
BLUE-EYED BLONDE. Young, pretty, 54, 5'6", looking for preferably blue-collar clown who will tease me and make me laugh. If you want someone special to live and laugh with, contact me. Hardworking, loyal, honesty a must. Be careful what you wish for!
Bozo says, "54! I thought you said she was 'young'."
Men Seeking Women
BAKED BEANS = INCREASE MILEAGE. Mentally retired, high-school grad, non-smoker, non-drinker, can't dance. Single white male, 51, 6', 195, iron-pumping, nose-picking, book reader, movie lover, ravenous eater! Seeking single white female, private sex therapist to cure aging, hormone overload, sleeplessness, boredom! In this case, honesty is probably NOT the best policy. Also, did anyone else mistakenly read mentally retired as mentally retarded?
ELVIS IN THE BUILDING. Well... sorta! Played drums for Elvis. I am 55, attractive, good shape, non-smoker, social drinker, music lover, active, loving, caring, down-to-earth, very romantic, full head of hair. So "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" Let's "Shake, Rattle and Roll." The man has been dead thirty-one years and you're still riding on his coattails?
I Saw You
BIG RED. Now this is very bold! You're so fine, you blow my mind. Maybe in time we can have more than coffee in common? Until then, I guess that I'll see you around. From Little Red. I got five bucks that the dude's real name is Mickey.
THE INCREDIBLE SNAIL. You scoot, scoot, scoot on your candy red apple. The service was great. Extra cheese, hold the fork. Cucumbers are a must. Smoothies sometime? I'm sure you're sick of coffee. It's legal in my sexy red shoe. It's ads like these that make me believe in secret drug rings.
TINSELTOWN HOTTIE. Your flaming red hair set my heart on fire. Your beautiful blue eyes chilled me to the bone. I regret being too shy to ask for your number. Let's rendezvous for a late night double feature! Rawr! Love, Icy-Hot.
COLOR ME BAD. You: Blue bear, blue bear... getting tattooed, you're so cool! Me: Tall, blonde vixen... not! (funny noise, funny noise) make the pain go away! Maybe we can color in the Hello Kitty coloring book together one day! ...What?
KOH CD RELEASE PARTY. You: The devil. Me: Your doll. I think our friends were as shocked as we are. We are life long fishing buddies! Let's go argue about this in bed naked! Even rednecks find true love. Aw.
UNICORN GIRL. You're honestly the prettiest unicorn I've ever seen. And on top of that, you're a girl, too. Best combo ever. Even better than peanut butter and bread. Nothing beats peanut butter and bread. NOTHING.
Tomorrow I will be out of the office and unable to check everyone's WWC submissions. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't post them! I should have mine up by *tonight and I'll come by your blogs first thing on Wednesday. *Unless I can actually figure out how to set auto-post. Happy snapping!