Friday, September 12, 2008

Ho Hum

Today, I am the laziest person alive. Enjoy my lame attempt to fill a post by answering some of your comments from yesterday's post here, instead of in the comment section where this kind of crap belongs. I'm sorry. Ok, I'm not. But that shouldn't stop you from loving me.

Knight said: Okay, I have it all figured out. What you need to do is convince your followers that Twisted Tink is actually the story of creation and make it the new bible like the scientologists did with the sci-fi book. If they believe you hold the keys to their happiness and afterlife they will start giving you money so you will help them. Just imagine, you could have a huge group of people that follow you around dressed as fairies and believing you have magical powers.

You. Are. Brilliant! Maybe I could recruit the real, live
Peter Pan to be my pope. We'd have a holiday every Monday. Casual Fridays would mean coming to work in your PJ's, drunk. Wings would be mandatory, obviously. But the dudes could wear black ones, with spikes on them. I'm not picky. All I would require is your absolute submission... Just like the government. I would totally rock as Ruler.

Mamatulip said: Tell me about the follow feature. Is it like Twitter? I'm not on Blogger so I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm not exactly sure how it works either. All I know is that when you log on to your Blogger account, there's a little icon that says "Followers". When you click on it, it shows you who has pledged to be your loyal henchman (or woman) for all of time. Pretty neat, huh? So far I have eleven henchpeople.

Apathy Lounge said: Books, The Office, reruns of The Gilmore Girls. Toast with butter. Chocolate milk. Mexican beer.

I heart Jim. Is it deranged that I think I would LIKE working in that office?

Michael Knight Rambo said: I always wanted to be a cult leader. I like the idea of sitting around drinking and sleeping with my hot followers while they make me money and do my laundry and stuff. Plus you can make them do silly shit like chanting and whatnot. I tried to start one at work a few years ago but I'm just too lazy and have no follow through. Sigh. Good Luck!

See, that's where you screwed up. There are supposed to be incentives to joining a cult. Like free drugs... or WINGS. P.S. I've been dying to ask you, what's the story behind your name?

Chris said: Y'know, I think you can create your own Wikipedia page - you and Hoop should go for it!

I could; but who would read it? I'm waiting until we get famous (or infamous) first.

One Daisy said: I am currently worshiping batteries. They seem to be a girls best friend. I could be the Duracell Queen and wear a head garment made of copper. Of course I would be wearing fabulous shoes too.

No, a vibrator is a girl's best friend. But hey, maybe that's where all your batteries are going. ;)

Alli said: I would totally join your cult. totally. as long as you don't make me wear squirrel feet in my hair. By the way, I decided you look like a young Diane Lane. Have you been told that a million times?

I haven't! But I'm really flattered. Thank you. Let's do a comparison.

Diane Lane-


Tink-

Hot picture, huh?

Speaking of hot pictures, check out this ad I saw on Facebook:



Oh crap, I'm out of time! I had other things to say too. Like, what the hell is hot bologna in a jar?! This is really going to aggravate
Jay . He hates when I only reply back to some of the comments and not all of them. Oh well. I guess I'll have to make him co-cult leader.

Have a great/safe weekend Homebloys!

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25 Comments:

At 12 September, 2008, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

oh.my.god!Knight is BRILLIANT! you should totally do what she said! I'll join that cult! - "absolute submission...just like the government" LOL! Now that's funny!

 
At 12 September, 2008, Blogger meno said...

OMG! That bitch, young Diane Lane, is dating Hoop???

 
At 12 September, 2008, Blogger Peggy said...

You are WAY hotter darlin!

If you're going to be a cult leader, I call being the European branch person - collect fees from unsuspecting Belgians (skimming a bit for myself naturally) and sending it on to you.

 
At 12 September, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Tink, famous paperback cover model. ;)

Those teeth are going to give me nightmares.

 
At 12 September, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

the teeth stopped me ... but the grammar in the ad ("our teeth whiteners work so good"??????) made me cringe.

alas, i am the grammar nazi.

 
At 12 September, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

I'm so pissed! I just looked and I so commented on your cult post (albeit lamely as I was watching South Park at the same time) and it is totally not freaking there! Dude! Well, probably all for the best. I think it was pretty unimaginative. Come to think of it, I got nothing again tonight. WTF?

Love you Tink. You're one funny sight impaired foo!

 
At 12 September, 2008, Blogger Allison said...

I posted a picture of hot bologna in a jar on my blog just for you. Yes, I realize it LOOKS gross, and yes, I realize it SOUNDS gross. But it really is heaven in a jar of pickling juices. For real. I wouldn't lie to you.

 
At 13 September, 2008, Blogger LL said...

Diane Lane? Well... you'll probably have to shave off the goat to complete the look but...

 
At 13 September, 2008, Anonymous kcinnova said...

Casual Fridays like that?? I'm in!

 
At 13 September, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I could probably live with being co-cult leader.

I like your casual Fridays idea, but I don't wear PJs. haha

Knight rocks.

 
At 13 September, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

one upside to dating a girl with bad teeth, she won't want to go to Olan Mills and get pics done as a couple all the time.

 
At 13 September, 2008, Blogger Sassy Mama Bear said...

I really need to read every day again, kick me in the arse....do it, it can be part of the cult practice, punishment.

 
At 13 September, 2008, Blogger Knight said...

Great, I'm glad you like the idea! I'll start the New York branch by setting up a table in the Subway to recruit. Now you just need a "church". The woods would be the obvious meeting place. Everyone in wings and drunk of course. This is so easy! If you give your followers Absinthe they will start seeing a little green fairy anyway.

 
At 13 September, 2008, Blogger mamatulip said...

Oh my god - definitely do your own Wiki page. I'd read it, and that's all that matters, right?

RIGHT?

And you should get on the Twitter thing, too. Just sayin'.

 
At 13 September, 2008, Anonymous SgtTwistd said...

You cant be the laziest person!
That's my freaking job! What being Queen of the universe isn't good enough for u?

 
At 14 September, 2008, Blogger Michael Knight Rambo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 15 September, 2008, Blogger OneDaisy said...

Ok, so if I had realized that I could say VIBRATOR on your blog without being accused of being a horney slut, then I would have. I though this was a family show and I was trying to be sly about it. But you prove me otherwise. YES, I currently worship my vibrator and I'm proud of it! That little (not so much) item has become my best friend and I'm seriously considering removing it from the bottom drawer to the spot under my pillow. There ok? Are you happy now? Geeze, a girl tries to be a little descrete and she's blown right out of the water.

 
At 15 September, 2008, Blogger gary rith said...

Um, Diane Lane sorta got me distracted, what were you saying?

 
At 15 September, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

Hoop needs to shave that thing or grow a real beard.

I punch people that don't complete the goat.

It's worth the 2 day drive to Florida.

 
At 15 September, 2008, Blogger Tawcan said...

Hmmm follower you said eh? I'll have to check it out sometime.

I don't know, you two look very similar.

 
At 15 September, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

HAHAHAHA!!! I love that whiter teeth ad... and their grammar is to LOL at. :)

 
At 16 September, 2008, Blogger PEACE said...

If you start the whole cult thing, where will your commune be? Will we have to bow down and kiss your feet or just your wings?

 
At 16 September, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

Hmm. “The Cult of Tink” I like it. But it does underscore what a lackadaisical blogger I am that I never look at any of the stuff in the Blogger dashboard. In fact, since I discovered Flock, I don't even have to go to the dashboard (on those rare occasions when I am moved to post).

And I would wear squirrel feet in my hair, but I'm afraid mine is too short to get any traction.

For a fair comparison on the whole Young Diane Lane issue, you should put up those pictures of you in the stripey dress that Hoop picked out for you.

 
At 16 September, 2008, Blogger Dave said...

Your blog is brilliant and worth being in your cult!
I like the cut of your jib young lady!

 
At 18 September, 2008, Blogger minijonb said...

mmm... Diane Lane...

= : - )

 

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