Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Bring out the big balls.

It's official. I'm a nerd. I actually watched an hour of PROFESSIONAL Dodge Ball last night. Did you even know there was such a thing? I almost want to join just so I can put that on my resume. Simply watching the game spawned off a million unanswered questions. Like... Do they advertise the try-outs at gyms, or the "Self Help" sections at Barnes and Nobles? If you had one arm shorter than the other would they disqualify you? Is spandex a requirement, or just a bold fashion statement? Oooh, that last one made me gag a little bit. And finally... Is there a cash prize? Because once my friends find out I'm a PROFESSIONAL Dodge Ball player, they're going to beat the crap out of me. And I really can't afford the hospital bill right now.

On a totally unrelated side note, I almost raped Hoop when I got home yesterday. He practically skipped to the bedroom. Let me set the scene. We're in the process of peeling each others layers off. I'm trying my damnedest to look sexy while squeezing my head through the tiny hole of my gargantuan sweater. Hoop is all teeth as I reach for him in a "Come hither" sort of way. He flips off his shoes and exclaims, "God I love-" the appropriate way to end this sentence would be with "you" but oddly enough, that's not how he finished it.

Hoop: God I love these shoes!
Tink: ... Oh yeah baby! Talk dirty to me again.

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At 14 December, 2005, Blogger mama_tulip said...

I can *so* see my husband saying that to me in the throwes of passion. He has a serious affection for shoes...the guy has more pairs than I do.

One night while channel-flipping I paused on Professional Dodgeball. My God. If people are making money pelting each other with balls then I really do think I should get paid to lie in my gitch all day eating Sweedish Berries and picking lint from between my toes.


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