Monday, December 03, 2007

Words Taste Like Dirt

Weekend Recap:
1. I'm afraid I have to eat my words from Friday.
2. Not only was Grandma pleasant to be around...
3. ...but she gave me $50 to spend on myself too!
4. Friday evening started off a little rough. I was the first one at the house. "Mom's about five minutes behind me," I said as I kicked my shoes off at the door. "Oh. You talked to your Mom on the way here, did you?" I froze.
5. Because what she was really asking was, "Why did your Mom decide to talk to you instead of me?!" It was all in the tone.
6. "NO," I said quickly. "I just called her briefly to find out if I was supposed to bring dinner. But it's obvious to me now that I'm here, that you're already making dinner. Wow, that really smells good! What's that you're chopping? Is that an onion? I bought the most awesome onions the other day-"
7. It went on like that for another minute or two. I think I panicked.
8. Regardless, it worked. Grandma didn't blow up and before she could squint and ask me if I was "hopped up on something," Mom appeared.
9. Saturday morning, we headed out to the mall. Saturday at 9pm, we left.
Total hours shopped: 11
Total money spent on gifts: $25
Total money spent on food: $40
10. That's right. I only bought three things. They were all stocking stuffers.
11. I guess that's what we get for going to the ritziest mall around. There was tons to look at, but not a lot that we could afford. Once you passed the Target and the Payless, it was all Louis Vuitton and Juicy Couture from there.
12. *SIGH*
13. Late Saturday night, as I was driving home on one of the back roads, I came across a huge drug sting. It looked like every cop in the county was there. As it turns out, a guy I went to school with was one of the ones busted.
14. I guess I won't see HIM at the reunion.

15. Not that I really wanted to. Eeeee.
16. Sunday morning Hoop and I got up early and then lazed around the house until noon. See, even when we have good intentions it works against us!
17. We eventually got motivated enough to go to Hoop's Mom's house so we could drag 50+ boxes of Christmas decorations down from the attic for her.
18. Hoop's Mom kept trying to pawn off her broken decoration on me. "It just needs a little glue. It'll be good-as-new!" "Um, no thank you." "No? Oh alright. I guess I'll have to drag it out to the garbage."
19. Towards the end of The Great Box Moving Project of 2007, Hoop decided he was sick of climbing down the attic ladder and started SLIDING the unbreakable boxes down instead.
20. "What are you doing?" I laughed up at him. "It was just an accident," Hoop's Mom replied for him, unable to see the devilish look her son was giving me from the stairs.

Sometime Before Friday: Good-bye Month



At 03 December, 2007, Blogger Freakazojd said...

Hey, that sounds like an awesome weekend! I'm woefully behind my Christmas shopping this year. And I'm DREADING heading out now, because it's so stupid-crazy in the shops. UGH. Hooray for devilish grins! :)

At 03 December, 2007, Anonymous Emily said...

I'm in jax, I know which mall you speak of, and I did the exact same thing last week! I've decided there will be no christmas shopping at that mall ever again -- unless I win Lotto of course. Then it's Juicy for everyone!

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

Eleven hours in a mall??? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

That's my worst nightmare EVER! LOL

It's always great to run into old friends from school huh? Unless of course they're handcuffed and look like they might star on the next episode of COPS.

My grandmother has never asked me if I was "hopped up on something", but a couple of teachers did in high school. haha ;-)

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger furiousBall said...

dang, now i have to cross that guy off the babysitter list.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger Brody said...

That guy is going to give me nightmares.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger Melanie said...

that guy isn't that scary. but he is "hopped up" on something.

i love target. and thats all i have to contribute.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Two words: internet shopping.

I finally participated in a WWC albeit late :)

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

Christmas brings the best out in all of us :)
You gotta love the holidays.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger R.E.H. said...

Oh, don't you just love it when people try to give you their broken stuff, saying "oh, they just need a little fixing is all".

Makes me wanna go; "Well, fix'em up nice and good and use it yourself then, damn it!" ;)

Scary when old class mates are arrested.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger Tawcan said...

Xmas shopping is the most stressful thing I found. It takes forever to get gifts and there's always tons of ppl in the mall.

If you know what to get internet shopping works quite well.

At 03 December, 2007, Anonymous Liebowitz said...

If I give your grandmother a hug, will she spot ME a fifty? I've just barely begun the Christmas shopping. You know me, Tink.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger meno said...

Maybe the guy they were busting had been forced to shop for 11 hours. I'd need drugs after that.

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger g-man said...

That is one spooky dude!

If he was sliding boxes down, no wonder she has broken decorations she is trying to pawn off on you. :)

At 03 December, 2007, Blogger gawilli said...

Guess I'll take my sock back.

At 04 December, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I spent $408.23 today and I didn't even leave the house. All on Christmas. All the stuff I could have for that kind of dough and it's gone.

My mom says the same thing when I do something, she recites, "It was an accident. I forgot." Those were my two favorite lines growing up. If it wasn't an accident then I forgot. *L*

Don't you wish you had beautiful curly hair like that guy? He'll be a hit in the pen! *snickering*

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger janet said...

i am having trouble getting past an 11-hour shopping expedition and mr. scary guy.

other than that.... quick thinking with grandma ;-)

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

Ok, I spent 15 minutes at the mall yesterday, getting my glasses adjusted. That's enough for me for the next year or two - or until I need new glasses...

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger Alli said...

Wow, that dude is scary looking. Bleh! And what's with the no shirt look & is that a necklace or a tat?

I know what it's like to have a crabby grandparent. That is how my grandfather was (my other one passed away before I was born) & I always wished I had a nice grandpa. I still do!

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger Christy said...

I often go sliding down attic stairs as well. Also an accident. Painfully.

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

When I moved off-campus (back when I was in college) I discovered that we lived close to a mall, so me and my roommate went to check it out. It was the swankiest fucking mall I've ever seen. The floors were MARBLE. The ceilings were glass. Not kidding. We had to walk through a Holt Renfrew to get to the main mall and the salesladies looked us like we had leprosy.

And lunch nearly put us in the red.

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

You know, you could be his jailhouse bride? Start sending him love letters. Visit when it's allowed. Come on, dump Hoop, this guy is WAY better.

At 04 December, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Well good - I'm glad Saturday didn't go as badly as you feared. Hoops mom trying to give you the broken ornaments cracked me up - that is exactly what my MIL does. Last year she carted a whole crate of broken dishes to me, saying "they just need a little glue". Whatevah!

At 05 December, 2007, Blogger HAR said...

Glad grandma slipped you the 50.00. I'm sure that you have earned it over the years.

At 05 December, 2007, Blogger Spamboy said...

Wow, what a pic -- I had no idea you went to school with Elijah Wood. Boy, Frodo's really let himself go...


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