Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Done With December

And the whole effin' year for that matter!

December Hit Statistics:
1. The primary day for hits was Monday.
2. The most popular hour being 4pm.
3. The top referrers were Alli and Jay.
4. The most used search term was, "ghetto christmas tree".
5. My favorite search terms were, "batgirl forced to dance," "clown on a moped," and "warming me cockles."
6. The highest hit post (197) was on December 4th, featuring
this post, for absolutely no good reason.

31 Quirks For 31 Days:
1. I always leave a bite of food on my plate.
2. I don't know why.
3. Maybe it's so I don't feel guilty for eating the WHOLE thing.
4. Or maybe it's a subconscious tribute to my Homebloys who are no longer in the blogosphere.
5. Ha! You thought that shit had died out. Well think again, Homebloy.
6. I'm addicted to chapstick. Perhaps a little unhealthily.
7. I have a mini meltdown if I can't find any.
8. I've been known to use lotion in a pinch.
9. Five years ago I told a girl to eat raw ham, and she did.
10. She told me she wished she could get a tapeworm so she could lose some weight.
11. I thought she was joking. She wasn't.
12. She didn't get a worm, but she DID get food poisoning...
13. ...and lost EIGHT pounds.
14. You should be careful what you wish for.
15. I like memories with morals.
16. Even really fucked up ones.
17. I have a magic wand on my desk.
18. When I'm really frustrated, I wave it around and pretend it's fixing things.
19. My nickname, Tink, derived from a really strange acid trip when I was seventeen.
20. Apparently, I was trying to climb into my shoe.
21. I was also wearing a very large sweater that gave me the impression that I was shrinking.
22. Not many people know this about me.
23. Well, except you. Oh, and you. And now you.
24. Whatever. I'm not running for President.
25. I'm a very cuddly person.
26. Sometimes, when Hoop is busy doing something else, I just stand next to him and wiggle.
27. I also like to slap his cheeks and then kiss him for a "surprise".
28. It makes the kiss better, I swear.
29. Kind of like the sweet-and-salty concept.
30. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my job was tell my boss that one of our new hires was illiterate.
31. He didn't even give me a chance to apologize to the guy.
*32. I inadvertently create new words all the time.
*33. I blame my large vocabulary...
*34. ...and my slow brain.
*35. Like I'll be thinking, "That was really ---. Do I say 'shitty' or 'crappy'? Which is more appropriate? Have I used either one too much today? I'd hate to sound repetitive."
*36. Meanwhile my impatient mouth blurts out, "That was really critty."
*37. It's my hope that one day words like "Doring" and "Critty" and "Hute" will be in the dictionary.

January Search Terms:
1. What temperatures do a heat wave come up to? You realize it's not a literal wave, right?
2. six year old blogger No matter how old I act, I'm still 24.
3. butt mints skit As long as I can call in a butt double.
4. beef hives I guess that would make me Queen Beef.



At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Peggy said...

Eating raw meat in the hope of getting a tape worm doesn't really work anymore. It worked for Maria Callas, but that was in the 50's! She was stupid to eat the raw pork but if God didn't want them shorn, he wouldn't have made them sheep!

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Kell said...

You're monthly wrap ups are so entertaining.

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Brody said...

I think you are having flashbacks. None of this is real.

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger flutter said...

I am so glad I started reading you. Crack me up...

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

Isn't there a cash reward for being one of the top two referrers? No? Damn.

She lost EIGHT pounds from food poisoning. It was worth it then, right? I mean, that's pretty close. We should do a poll. What's the minimum weight loss you would need to make food poisoning worth it. I bet if people are being honest 8 is pretty close. ;-)

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger coffespaz said...

I should really learn not to read your monthly wrap ups while I'm still at work. But then, I'm not the one with a wand on my desk. :GRIN: Hmmm...maybe I should!!

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

I love quirk-days, they crack me up. The slap & kiss was the best- I can just picture Hoop putting up with that in order to get a kiss. And I guess slap & kiss is better than slap & tickle? ;)

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

My name is Chris, and I too am a lip balm addict...

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

I mess words up like that all the time, but it's not because I am witty like you. I am just plain dumb! Haha!

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger R.E.H. said...

Slap and kiss, huh? That's new to me... I should ask The One if she would introduce me to the concept ;)

Warming me cockles(s?)... ok, I got that ;)

And, YAY! Thanks to reader, I got to see the gown. Really nice, you will definitely rock the house on that wedding ;)

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Edge said...

My next band is going to be called "clown on a moped". We'll cover Bob Marley and Dr. Sues Metal.


At 09 January, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think a lot of us use lotion in a pinch. heh heh.


At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Newt said...

I've seen Homebloy out there girl, I think you got one word started! Your new year is off to a great start. I love your recaps. They always make me giggle.

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger meno said...

Hi, i'm Meno. I am a lip balm addict. I haven't used in 30 minutes. Tonight i'll just listen.

Hi Meno!

I used the term blomies, for my blog homies. Then i laugh.

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger Gordo said...

I'm not an addict, but I do have those small tubs of the stuff all over. Mainly because I lose them. Dry lips suck. Or don't get sucked. But, anyway!

At 09 January, 2008, Blogger janet said...

can you wave your magic wand and fix my job, too?

that would be awesome.

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Freakazojd said...

6-7-8: ME TOO! Weird.
Also, I lost the rest of my "baby fat" in high school when I got mono. I was like "YESSSSS!" Now I have to get rid of a different kind of baby fat. Ha. It's cool. I hit the jackpot. :)

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Jo said...

This post slayed me! favorite was your acid trip (is it wrong of me to wish I'd been there to suggest--"Hey I think you'd fit into my shoe")

I sometimes slap my hub before kissing him too! Love hurts, Baby.

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Dana said...

I'm new to your blog and really enjoyed your monthly wrap-up.

GREAT blog!

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

you know what will freak you out even more? look at Neil's original lyrics to "After the Goldrush"

Well, I dreamed I saw the knights
In armor coming,
Saying something about a queen of beef.
There were peasants singing and
Drummers drumming
And the archer split the tree.
There was a fanfare blowing
To the sun
That was floating on the breeze.
Look at Mother Tink on the run
In the nineteen seventies.
Look at Mother Tink on the run
In the nineteen seventies.

I know it's like the fucking X Files. The Truth is out there, and it's served with a spork

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

Queen Beef? Ha, I love it.

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Christy said...

I'm enjoying the queen beef comment as well. I totally understand the sweet and salty concept you mentioned.

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Alli said...

Yes, love your monthly wrap ups!

Glad I was able to refer so many to your blog. :)

At 10 January, 2008, Blogger Maggie said...

well you're either Queen Beef or you need a really good rash lotion...

At 11 January, 2008, Blogger Alex said...

And "spoonovers"! Don't forget "spoonovers"!!

(I've got that lip balm thing going too, complete with lotion in a pinch...soul sister...)

((and also? You look *stunning* in that dress...))


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