Monday, October 13, 2008

The Mouth!

( Front Page: 10/13/08 08:30am)

Weekend Recap:
1. My Grandfather turned 85 this Saturday! We celebrated by eating our weight in food.
2. On the menu: venison sausage, wild boar sausage, fried mullet (the fish, not the hair), fried catfish, cornbread hush puppies, BBQ chicken, green bean casserole, potato salad, baked beans, and cake.
3. I'm STILL full.
4. After dinner, Grandpa sat down with us to fine tune the wedding ceremony. He's the one who will be marrying us. He's a retired minister.
5. He also married my Mom... twice.
6. Hopefully that's not an unlucky sign.
7. Maybe it just didn't take the first time.
8. Sunday, Hoop and I went to the zoo. That was also supposed to be a family thing, but my family pussied out on account of the weather.
9. The weatherman said there would be a 70% chance of rain.
10. What we got was NO rain and a hella lot o' heat.
11. It was so hot, the monkeys barely had enough energy to eat their own poop.
12. Barely.
13. We weren't spared the horror of watching a monkey eat from his own butt like it was a Tootsie Roll factory.
14. Hey, speaking of really crappy experiences...
15. ...Until 30 minutes ago, I hadn't been able to get a hold of our DJ for five days.
16. ...Our cake people just tried to double charge me.
17. ...And our florist tried to charge me $1,000 extra for no reason.
18. I am SO ready for this wedding crap to be over!
19. Dear Jebus and the Flying Spaghetti Monster; if you get me through this without losing my mind, I swear I will try and be the happiest married person ever. Amen.
20. In other wedding news, Hoop's Mom gave us our wedding present yesterday. It was a set of Depression glass from the 1920's. It was very sweet of her. But, I have no idea what I'm going to DO with it. It's green. Jello green.

So, how was your weekend?

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At 13 October, 2008, Blogger furiousBall said...

duh, eat green jello in it.

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Aunt Jackie said...

Eek, monkeys and their poop?? I can't abide monkeys or poop.

Sometimes you get gifts that you should simply treasure, and you might never use. It's called 'being a pack rat'. I'll be happy to give you lessons at the Auntie Jaxxx School of Pack Rattery. Your life will never be as clean again. hehe.

My weekend was o.k. We had a gig Saturday night, and then Sunday I tried to meditate in my Mom and Dad's pasture, but was interrupted by a stray cow (story on blog)

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Mike said...

I burned shit.

Lots of shit.

Lots of flammable shit.

Yea, it was fun.

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Michael Knight Rambo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Pamer said...

very good weekend here in the north...had some of THE finest weather all year...actually that's sad. it took til Thanksgiving (canuck thanksgiving) to get a decent warm, sunny weekend.

Speaking of turkey day... we ate way too much turkey and stuffin' and mashed 'tators and green bean casserole and punkin pie and cupcakes and and and... still full too

strangely, we also were supposed to go to the zoo. We didn't go...went for a hike instead. the fall colours are in full view these days...animals be damned

continued good luck on your wedding stuff...keep those scammers in check. Bastards...

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger fiwa said...

#4 - how cool! Your own Grandpa performing the wedding ceremony!

#13. Man... that is a diet tool. I am suddenly not hungry at all and suspect that i may never want to eat again!

#19. The Flying Spahetti Monster will not let you down.

#20. Can you sell it without her knowing? Cuz you could make some money off that on ebay. Tell her you put it in storage, that's what we tell my MIL about all the collectible stuff she gives us.

And for Michael Knight Rambo - kwtcdao. Sounds like somebody coughing up a lung!

At 13 October, 2008, Anonymous SgtTwstd said...

Venison and wild boar sausage! And catfish too :)
Ive had some venison sausage before and it completely kicked ass! But I know ur health kick took a step backwards... ;) Sounds like a kickass meal to me! Speaking of great meals I need to get over to Prince of Wales downtown not to mention Kings Head pub. My appetite kicked in until you started talking about Monkeys eatting out of their butts... *puke* Thanks for the graphic image in my head now!

At 13 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Monkey butt Tootsie Rolls!!!! LOL I think the stock guy is thinking, "I could just tell them I spent it on porn."


At 13 October, 2008, Blogger the planet of janet said...

my word verification is "giblen" ... i'm thinking it goes with wild boar and venison, yes?

and possibly with monkey butt tootsie rolls for dessert.

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Peggy said...

Some people think that if you're getting married you are:

1. made out of money

2. have no brain

3. afraid to challenge anybody about the overcharging or you will RUIN your wedding and run the risk of only be married for a total of 6weeks.

Enjoy the depression glass! Red jello will look better and the rumour that you will GET depression from using it is false! ;-)

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger CRUSTYBEEF said...

what is depression glass?

I want to come to your wedding! :)


At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Dana said...

Depression glass - put it in a china hutch with a black light ... it glows!

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Gary Rith Pottery Blog said...

well, wedding number one for your mom resulted in YOU right? so that's pretty good!

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger LL said...

What do you do with depression glass? Put all the daily pics of stock traders with their hand on their heads in it of course...

At 13 October, 2008, Blogger Reb said...

Sounds like quite the feast. Tootsie Roll Poop - lol! Keep an eye on those asshats, it will be over soon though.

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger meno said...

Maybe after today there will be a picture of a stock dude with his hand on his....crotch. In a happy way.


WV is waxyo, which seems somehow fitting.

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger mrspao said...

Your wedding will be amazing! I quite like the sound of Depression glass - it sounds halloweeny.

At 14 October, 2008, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My grandfather (also a minister) baptized all 4 of us (my sister & brothers and me). My dad (also a minister) baptized 2 of my 4 boys... I wish he'd been able to finish the job.
I think it's great that your grandfather will be performing the ceremony!

Hang onto that depression glass, at least for now. Yeah, it's green, but it's kinda cool, too. (Dana, seriously? Does it really glow? That's awesome!)

tldpxzle sounds like something monkeys make with their poo.

At 14 October, 2008, Anonymous Ellie said...

Hey Tink- the glass sounds lovely, can i see a picture? maybe if you really dont like it box it up carefully and put it away for your kids.
ewww to monkey poop :P

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Hilary said...

We did the Thanksgiving thing here too. My son was home for the weekend and gone again until Christmas.. sigh.

I hope we'll be seeing a pic of that Depression glass before too long.

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Fortune Cookies said...

sounds like grandpa's birthday was hoot. I'm not so sure I could stomach watching monkeys eat their own poop in such repressive heat, hats off to you and hoop!
wifester and I took the sunny-dog to the dog park on Saturday then kicked some ass at Taboo against some friends later that night. yeah, good times around here.

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Chris said...

Lime jello green?! Oh... my. Beware - if you display it, people will assume you collect the stuff and then...........

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Jiff said...

LOL. Sorry. Very funny. Crappy, indeed.
Hey, I got a shitty email from my brother two days after throwing him a birthday cookout. THEN my car died in the middle of a parking lot. With my infant in the backseat.
So let's make some margaritas and drink them from your green glasses. :)

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger YellowRose said...

My 23 yr old son is getting married in five months...I feel for you, I know what we are going's maddening! As I told them this weekend as they were going through lists upon lists and getting discouraged...don't sweat the little stuff, when it is all said and done, all that matters is that you two will be man and wife.

I love that your grandpa is preforming the ceremony! My son's grandfather is partcipating in his, he opted out on preforming...didn't think he'd get through it...sentimental man! ;)

Hang in there....

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Janet said...

This made me laugh SO VERY HARD: fried mullet (the fish, not the hair)

re #5: Isn't that incestuous? ;-)

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger g-man said...

Maybe it was "Depress-ing" glass ... :)

Yeah you are ready for it to be over now, but when it IS over you'll think that it didn't last long enough.

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Farmer*swife said...

Weeeelllll, if you don't really have room for them? Ship me the Depression Glasses. I'll drink, I mean store them for you in a pretty display case (ie: full of liquor!)

Just kiddin'! But, i really would display them for you and return them only slightly used and maybe missing two.

Hang in there! The wedding countdown is here....oh, squeeeeeee!!!!

And, Happy B-day and great birthday meal for your Grandpa! And, he looks good too! How sweet that he will marry y'all!!!

Just awesome. All of it. [Except the Monkey Poop, of course.]

Happy Tuesday!

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Gramps said...

You know, fried mullet (the hair) is actually pretty delicious. I had a reverse mullet once.

Re: grandpa What denomination?

At 14 October, 2008, Blogger Jay said...

I wish I had been at the birthday party. That sounds like a great menu!

Weddings are ridiculous. They may be more hassle than they are worth.

At 15 October, 2008, Anonymous Turtle said...

I have 2 bits of advice:
- regifting
- hock it because it is probably worth something No! Wait until the economy gets better THEN hock it. It'll be worth even more! Depression ware is worth quite a bit if kept in good condition.

NOTE: Turtle Mom was into it for awhile, so I know a bit.

At 16 October, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

You had me at the Tootsie Roll factory (farg you're funny!) but frig that! DUDE! Green Depression Glass? Oh man, youth IS wasted on the young...Those green dishes are totally amazing! Do you know how hard it is to get a complete set? Doesn't that colour just make you happy? Well, it was supposed to, Depression Glass give aways were total pick-me-ups!

And doesn't it strike you as conincidence that you should receive them now, in light of financial chaos? OH, that's too sweet!

At 16 October, 2008, Blogger womaninawindow said...

And you pray to the same god that we do. Jebus is our friend, he's Jesus' dumb younger brother. Never gets enough credit. Now, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is new to me. Sounds like he'd fit in though.


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