Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Nothin' But Hoop

Hoop spilled our drink at Wendy's today and halted production for TEN minutes. The young man behind the counter stared at us in fascination as we quickly ushered the river of Dr. Pepper away from the register with napkins. "Get a mop!" The elderly cashier finally yelled at him. He groaned and shuffled toward the back. I looked up and made eye contact with the vat handler. She was whispering something to the guy at the window. Not a single person from the back moved. Meanwhile the cashier had stopped ringing people up and was trying to help us sop up the mess. "Um... We can handle it if you want to get back to work." "I can't let you do that," she mumbled wearily. By the time we'd finished, the line had reached the door.

Ten minutes for one spilled drink.

I'd hate to see how they react in a REAL emergency.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: ...hermorphodite.
Tink: HerMORPHodite?!
Hoop: Yeah, like Morph and Mindy.
Tink: That's "Mork" and Mindy hon.
Hoop: Whatever. You know what I'm saying. They morph into something, that's for sure.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: Ha! You're dead.
Hoop: Where did you get me?
Tink: Up the butt.
Hoop: Then I'm not dead.
Tink: What? Of course you are!
Hoop: A lightsaber up the ass would NOT kill someone.
Tink: *Stops playing with her flashlight* Yes it would!
Hoop: You might bleed out after awhile.
Tink: What if it punctured your stomach and it exploded?
Hoop: I don't know... People who get shot in the stomach die pretty slowly.
Tink: Maybe it would cook you from the inside. You'd have to be a really quick Jedi to get it up there in the first place. *Arcs flashlight beam through the air*
Hoop: You might be able to get a quick poke in.
Tink: And you're SURE a quick poke to the ass with a lightsaber wouldn't kill anyone?
Hoop: We'll have to ask a nerd.
Tink: I think we ARE the nerds.

Daily Hoop Conversation 3:
Hoop: When the Independence Day preview aired in Japan, the Japanese thought it was real.
Tink: They thought America was under attack?
Hoop: You have to admit, those shots of the white house being blown up were pretty realistic looking.
Tink: Who did they think blew it up?
Hoop: The aliens.
Tink: Wait... What?
Hoop: They thought the movie trailer was a news broadcast and that aliens had come down and blown up the white house.
Tink: AHAHAHA! No way.
Hoop: I'm serious.
Tink: Get the hell outta here!

Please excuse this interruption as I do my happy dance. Hoop just got a call and...



At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Congratulations on Hoop getting a job. You're such a wonderful partner to him.

Have a great day!

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Mary said...

Congrats Hoop!! YAY!!!

I think a lightsaber up the ass would kill you....it would pierce all your internal organs...heheheh

YAY again for Hoop!

At 10 October, 2006, Anonymous OddMix said...

Definitely a killing stroke *ahem* with the lightsabre. Sort of a massive terminal hemeroid.

Yay for Hoop's job. Is it a good one? Close to your home?

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

First off... CONGRATS to Hoop!!!

And I can't believe you're talking about lightsabers up the butt. LOL! ;) That's just wrong.

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

Awesome Tink! That is too, too cool. Tell Hoop congrats!!

LOL at your little spilled drink incident at Wendys. Umm...oops.

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger G said...


and i defintely think a lightsabre up the ass would kill you...

At 10 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Hooray! Congratulations Hoop!

Also, the first part of your post got me wondering... what WOULD a real emergency be at Wendy's? The Frosty machine can't stay cold enough? Grease spatter from the deep fryer?

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Thank you everyone! I'll be sure to give him your congratulations. It's a promising position at an insurance agency up in Jax. It's about an hour drive, but we knew what kind of commute he'd be looking at before he applied.

And I KNEW a lightsaber up the ass would kill someone.

And if by chance it didn't, wouldn't you wish it had? Yikes.

TB: Oh man. A grease splatter might close them down for an hour! This was my monologue as we were leaving...

"Quick, the counter! What counter? The only counter we have! It's soaking into the placemats. NOOOOOOO!"

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger candy said...

Congrats to Hoop on the job. An hour commute isn't that bad. I have a friend that drives two hours each way. Of course he's not married and has no kids but still.

I think a lighsaber up the butt would definately kill you if not it would really be interesting ever trying to sit down again!!!

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I told myself I would finish a sample column I'm writing, but I can't stop thinking about the RAMiffications of a light sabre up the arsehole.

Okay, doesn't a light sabre actually vaporize whatever it touches? It's not like it just spears your guts from the back end, it completely eliminates them, thus ensuring death by loss of guts...

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger graymama said...


Also, no bleeding with a lightsaber wound because as it cuts it cauterizes.

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

ha ha ha - I'll never watch star wars the same way again.

Congrats on the job! Yippee! Doing the happy dance with you!

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Congrats, Hoop!!

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Yay Hoop!! That's awesome. And should provide some new Hoop stories for our reading pleasure.

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...


At 10 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Congrats to Hoop! That's awesome.

And, a light saber up the ass would kill 90% of the male population. The other 10% would enjoy it. Not that there's anything wrong with that. haha

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

Congratulations to Hoop! ...and the happy dance is such a good thing. What does your's look like? Mine tends to look like Steve Martin's happy feet.

At 10 October, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

where can we send flowers?

At 10 October, 2006, Blogger F&W said...


At 11 October, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Yay for Hoop! To be wanted (So that someone can pay you, no less!)is the best feeling. Or one of the best, at least. The service industry is circling the drain. The other day at Subway the girl who was making our sandwiches was so damned slow that my roots grew out and Bryan needed to shave again. Yes, the waiting was THAT long.

At 11 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Yay, Hoop!!!

At 12 October, 2006, Blogger Heather said...

A job... a job!! YEAH!!

At 19 October, 2006, Blogger FA said...

The folks in fast food resturants just look for a reason to stop working. A strong work ethic and production focus are definitely lacking in most fast food joints.


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