Friday, October 06, 2006

To Be Undone Redone

When I was 21 I dated a guy that showered me with gifts... a necklace, a washing machine, new clothes, trips to New York. But he knew nothing about me. We rarely laughed or had meaningful discussions about our lives. I appreciated the gifts, but I wasn't impressed. It's not hard to give monetary things to someone who has virtually nothing. In the end our relationship finished as undramatically as it had started, with a whimper.

A year ago this Sunday I started dating Hoop. A man so different from the previous, you could call him his polar opposite. Hoop doesn't show his love by what he can provide in "things." His gifts require no warranties or guarantees. They're in the laugh lines around my mouth, the hope planted in our flower bed, and the inspiration that started this blog. From the first date he began to unravel me, studying me piece by piece. Six months into our relationship I looked at the fallen layers of my life and thought, "Who am I now?" I felt exposed and vulnerable.

Then something amazing happened.

Hoop took up the pieces that he'd worked loose and began to string them back together again. Only this time he began to intertwine his own. For every thread that was mine, he added one that belonged to him. Hoop/Tink/Hoop/Tink/Hoop/Tink. I lay in bed this morning, stroking the wayward hand that Hoop had thrown across my chest. I realized then, I didn't know where he ended and I began anymore. I couldn't imagine myself without this man, without imagining a holey mess.

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...


There's never a better time to join the fun!

DOT: Thanks to everyone who commented on Twisted Tink! Especially the "lurkers" who stepped out of their comfort zone to do so. It meant a lot... And it's renewed my faith in the story.

Things That Make You Go "WTF?"
1. When I had my daughter, they cut me from cooch to asshole and I screamed at the doctor, "Don't cut that out! I NEED it!"
2. I think men are born with a limited amount of megabytes for memory.
3. I don't think your lipstick color should match your tongue, do you?

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: They're having a craft show-
Tink: -in our neighborhood?
Hoop: Nooo. The golf course next door.
Tink: Oh thank God. Can you imagine what the rednecks around here would build?

(Done in a redneck accent)
Hoop: "101 things to make out of beer cans."
Tink: "How to create a rain-proof hat out of old tire tread."
Hoop: "A birdfeeder built from an old muffler."
Tink: "Anthing can be reused! If ya run outta condoms you can cut the fingers off a rubber glove. Although I don't recommend it, cause that's how I got Bubba Jr. and Bubba Jr. Two."
Hoop: Ahahaha! You do that all TOO well.
Tink: "We're expecting Bubbaette any day now!"

Have a SPLENDID weekend!
(We're off to Halloween Horror Nights in Orlando!)


At 06 October, 2006, Blogger KTP said...

You have a daughter?

Also, I love love love your loveness of Hoop. I'm a little teary-eyed.

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

KTP: No, that was actually a quote from the gas station lady down the street. She provides me with some real gems. :)

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Mignon said...

I've been thinking about you a lot lately, because you're smart and funny and good with blurry word jumbles. And then last night I dreamed you were Audrey Hepburn in that migraine-inducing Gap ad. I'm sorry. I think it was meant to be a good dream... And I really cannot stop singing your name to the tune of Mistadobalina.

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

I *adored* your description of what it's like being w/ love him... :)

[happy sigh]

Have fun at the Halloween Horror Nights and have a great wkend!

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Glad you cleared the daughter thing up with ktp, although that woulda been cool anyway. I couldn't figure out how you wouldn't have mentioned that one before anyway!

I just bought this really cool, really ugly full face monster mask. I'm gonna put it on when I walk in the door at home tonight. Hah! They will shit their pants! I'm so mean!

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Happy Anniversary!

Your words felt like a nice warm blanket on a cold day :-)

Enjoy the Halloween celebration!

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Awww, what a beautiful and perfect way to describe your love for Hoop. I just love the way you right. And I promise, I am a HUGE fan of Twisted Tink. I read as soon as a new chapter appears. I'm just very bad at commenting.

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Very vivid description of your relationship with Hoop. Well done!

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Ok, I have to admit, I was pretty touched by that too. And, I'm pretty close to "untouchable". :-)

Please don't do the "redneck" imitation too often. You guys sound like all my neighbors. haha

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Freakazojd said...

"From the first date he began to unravel me, studying me piece by piece. Six months into our relationship I looked at the fallen layers of my life and thought, "Who am I now?" I felt exposed and vulnerable."

I think this is the most beautiful thing I've read all day. Happy anniversary Hoop & Tink!

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Jay: *Puts finger 1/2 inch away from Jay* I'm not touching you!

The bad thing about the redneck imitation was... It kind of stuck for a few minutes. I couldn't stop saying "ya." Eeek.

Arabella: Thank you! It was running through my mind all last night. I was afraid of losing it by morning. But it was still there, waiting to be written. The best posts are born that way.

Newt: I think you and hubby's love is pretty beautiful too. I didn't really care that no one was commenting (except for Teebs) on TT. I was just curious if I should keep pursuing that story or move on to something more interesting for everybody. I'm glad you enjoy it.

Graymama: Thank you! We will. Hopefully I'll be able to snap some spooky pictures. Although that would require me taking my hands down from over my eyes.

Mamalujo: >>They will shit their pants! I'm so mean!<< Yeah but mean in a way I can totally encourage. LOL.

EE: I do... He's Hoop. What's not to love? :)

Mignon: Audrey Hepburn could be a good thing right? RIGHT? Aw what am I kidding, it was a gap commercial.

At 06 October, 2006, Anonymous Turtle said...

Tink: Happy Anniversary! Your anniversary is exactly 1 week after ours! It's amazing how quickly we intertwine when it's the right one. Cheers to you both.

At 07 October, 2006, Blogger Pamer said...

"guy before Hoop" gave you a washing machine?? How utterly romantic LOL

Happy Anniversary guys. You are a shining example on how to live and love. the rest of us should be so lucky.

At 08 October, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

First, let me just say that your description of Hoop as weaver was sheer poetry. Beautiful.

Then, the usual smart-mouthed stuff:

...cooch to asshole...

Around these parts, that's called the "haint" or "tweener". Hain't genitals; hain't asshole. It's something in between. The joke I often hear in reference to Caesarian sections is that the husband asks the doctor to put in an extra stitch or two, while he's sewing the wife back together.

...don't think your lipstick color should match your tongue...

Makes me wonder about some of the shades the goth chicks wear. Are their tongues black, like a New Foundland dog's?

And thanks for the arts 'n' crafts ideas. A birdhouse out of a muffler? Brilliant.

At 09 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Turtle: Aw... Happy belated anniversary Turtle and Foo! I can only hope to have something as special as you two do one day.

Pamer: '"guy before Hoop" gave you a washing machine?? How utterly romantic' Ugh, I know. I honestly expected to find kitchen utensils in my stocking that year. But to be fair, it was a hell of a lot better than going to the Laundromat. Did my heart pitter-patter every time I saw it? Noooo. But I did smell better.

Foo: LMAO! I am so glad to have you as a friend. You always have me laughing... and second guessing the things I write.

At 09 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Oh, Tink, what you said about Hoop made me get all teary. I love the bit about him weaving you together and you didn't know where you started anymore!! That was beautiful!

At 09 October, 2006, Blogger Brooke said... sweet. You can't do that to a pregnant woman!

Sniff sniff...

At 09 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Awwww... I need me a Hoop of my own. :)

I really, really hope you went to that craft show and took pictures...

At 10 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

Cheers and here's to many more years together. I'm so glad you found each other.

At 10 October, 2006, Anonymous Chanda said...

You are so fun to read! Congrats on your love!


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