Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Spooky Dookie

They call me the Pumpkin Charmer.

Ok, ok. I call myself the Pumpkin Charmer.

On Hoop and my second date I took him to Walmart to buy pumpkins. How romantic huh? We dug through the bins for at least 30 minutes before:

(OLD) Daily Hoop Conversation:
Tink: They all look the same.
Hoop: That's because they ARE all the same.
Tink: I don't know how to decide!
Hoop: How about that one?
Tink: Too bumpy. *Calls out* Which pumpkin would like to come home with me?
Hoop: That's not going-
(A pumpkin falls out of the bin and rolls to our feet)
Hoop: What the hell?
Tink: I didn't actually expect that to work.
Hoop: I guess we have our pumpkin.
Tink: Are you kidding me? No way!
Hoop: But...
Tink: It's all bruised now.

Halloween is coming up... in 26 days. I know, I'm jumping the gun. But it's always been my favorite holiday.

What's not to love? There's costumes, and parties, candy, and pumpkin carving. Not to mention the hunt for a perfect Haunted House. Which has always been just an excuse to evoke my inner-critic. "Was that blood supposed to look real? Because it looked like something I'd dip my french fries in." "I'm sorry. I was too busy yawning to fake being scared." Eventually I'll find one that really scares the dookie out of me, and all that money I spent on the rinky-dink local ones will feel like it was well spent.

Hoop's not big into costumes. Until last year, I hadn't missed a single opportunity to pimp my fairy wings. It's the one time a year that anyone can pretend to be anything they want. The girls dress up like sexy angels, or sexy genies, or sexy- well, you get the point. The guys dress up like pirates, or superheroes, or hookers. Hey, whatever floats your boat dude. The point is, we all get to be something else for just one night. Take advantage of it! Release your inner whateveritis.

This year I've practically insisted that Hoop come up with a costume to wear. I think he's leaning toward a devil. I wanted him to be Waldo, from "Where's Waldo?" And I was going to be "Decoy Waldo." The one that almost looks like Waldo, but isn't? No go. So I'm going to hunt down some angel wings this weekend. Because coordinated costumes are cute, dontcha think? Yeah, they kind of make me want to puke too. But I'm going to do it.

Otherwise we're going to be walking around all night as the Devil and Decoy Waldo...

October Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. entire fingernail came off
So tell me... Did it grow back?
2. "leave the bra on"
How rude.
3. creamed corn lol Have I got a strange dream for you! You'll probably never eat creamed corn again though.
4. house plan skinny
5. "dustin diamond video" No freebies here buddy.

DOT: Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter,
"A Hairy Tale." I'm beginning to think Teebs is my only reader. So click on over and tell me what you think! Don't forget the Nair.


At 04 October, 2006, Anonymous Turtle said...

Wow! I'm first? I like the pumpkin discussion. Sounds like something Foo and I would say. By the way, I now see our conversations written this way. Scary, huh?

I like to dress up in costume and go to parties, but we never get invited to any. My really great ChooChoo train idea will never get used, so if you know anyone else in a chair...pass it along. It's top notch!

At 04 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Wouldn't it be easier to find "Waldo" since everybody will know that he will be next to the "decoy Waldo" the whole night?

I haven't dressed up for Holloween in years and years and years. Love Halloween though.

And, stand just inside the door of a bar and try that "which pumpkin wants to go home with me" line. They'll all fall off their barstools and rolls to your feet there too.

At 04 October, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Just for the record, I'd never eat creamed corn anyway.

And for another record, if you don't do the Waldo thing, save it for next time - that's a gem.

At 04 October, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Turtle: >>By the way, I now see our conversations written this way.<< Assimilation is complete. Mwahahaha!

>>I like to dress up in costume and go to parties, but we never get invited to any.<< Don't feel bad, we don't really either. I mostly crash them. Or go to bars where there's a party-like atmosphere. I would totally invite you two. The train idea is fabulous!

Jay: Well I think it would be pretty obvious which is which since one would have BOOBS. Unless Hoop would be willing to- nah. BTW, you gave me the craziest mental image of everyone rolling off their barstools. Or rather their heads, cause my brain is kind of sketchy that way. ;)

Jay (Number two): My goal is to get a whole group of people to dress that way and then disperse into a crowd. Ah, the fun we could have with drunk people.

At 04 October, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

You can buy pumpkins at Wal Mart? I didn't know that.

I LOVE HALLOWE'EN TOO!! I can't wait for it! Julia told me yesterday she wants to be a I have to find a butterfly costume for her, because I'll be goddamned if I have to make one (I don't sew).

At 04 October, 2006, Blogger tammy said...

I am having a party, just so I can wear a costume. I love the Waldo idea...

At 04 October, 2006, Blogger eric said...

i totally agree about halloween.

my wife makes fun of me for calling it HAUL-o-ween instead of HAL-o-ween. i always thought i was right.


At 04 October, 2006, Blogger Mike Y said...

Um... pirates or superheros or hookers??? Um... how did you make that stretch? Can guys be sexy hookers?

And I can't believe you didn't want the bruised pumpkin. I figured you of all people would have pity on it. LOL. JK.

And who would want to see Dustin Diamond?

At 04 October, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Ok, I gotta agree with Mike on this one. I was a little surprised that you didn't take the pumpkin that rolled off. Though your "Bruised" comment made me cackle out loud.

I guess I never thought about Halloween as the one chance each year to be someone totally different. Ok, now I GOTTA dress up.

As over done as it's going to be I think the V for Vendetta costumes are hella cool. I would LOVE to go trick or treating with a group of people all dressed as V. That would be SO cool. Especially if one of us carries a boom box with the big symphony playing.

And the where's waldo idea is darling!

At 04 October, 2006, Anonymous TB said...

It's been cracking me up to see all the Halloween decorations when it's still 90 degrees outside. I guess I'd better get used to it.

PS We may be in your neck of the woods for a game in the next few weeks. I'll let you know as soon as we nail it down.

At 04 October, 2006, Anonymous Susan said...

That poor little pumpkin that came running to you and you didn't want it... I *always* root for the underdog!

I love Halloween too, I'm pretty sure it's my favorite holiday.

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Oh, that poor bruised pumpkin, sacrified so and not appreciated....

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger FA said...

Halloween is pretty cool. The even cooler part is living so far out in the country no one comes to your door. :)

My biggest beef with Halloween is it prompts people to start with the Christmas stuff already. Cmon, it's only October.

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

I like to dress up as a woman.

On Halloween, I mean.


At 05 October, 2006, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Me, too...about the Halloween. Love it. I have to have the colors orange and yellow around during the months of October and November.

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

I love the idea of dressing up :)

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger EE said...

I love the idea of Halloween and being able to dress up/pretend to be anyone you like for one day. Tons of fun. :)

LOL about you guys digging for pumpkins....

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

No wonder Hoop fell in love with you. :)

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

This year Buddy is a pirate and I am going to be Pippi Longstocking. I am trying to convince Hubby to dress like V as Newt discussed, but then we might not get past the bedroom door. Did I really just type that?!

At 05 October, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Tink, I would not want a pumpkin that came to me after I call it either. It was probably possessed, and you would have had that "Chucky from Child's Play" thing going for you! :)

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger DebbieDoesLife said...

Love the Decoy Waldo idea. Make him do it and post pics!!

I clicked on your link to your first post (on how your blog got its name) and realized I was one of your first commenters EVER!! I don't know why that made me feel so good at 3:20 in the am and I can't sleep but it did.

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Foo said...

At first, I thought you'd just missed a trick by not dubbing yourself the Pumpkin Whisperer, but I realize now that that's gotten to be reather overused (i.e., passé) and that you'd chosen charmer for that reason.

Well done.

Hallowe'en used to be my favorite holiday too, but somewhere along the line I got lazy. It got to be too much work trying to wheedle an invitation to a party or stand around in some crowded bar with drunks in pirate hats, French maid costumes, and devils suits.

However, if you dress up as either of the latter, feel obligated to post pictures.

At 06 October, 2006, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Crap! Someone beat me to it. My comment was going to be witty and clever but I was too late.

"I call myself the Pumpkin Whisperer so we should start a business or something."


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