Pirattitude

Ahoy Bilge Rats!

Do ye know what today be? Avast! It's "International Talk Like A Pirate Day." Don't be a Lubber. Grab some grog and join me on the plank. Be sure to brush up on your Pirate Speak first. Arrr.

Or if you insist on bein' a smartie, the translator will assist you. But ye'll ne'er get me buried booty!

Fun Pirate Stuff, Arrr!
1. Need an official Pirate name? Check out this generator. An' tell 'em Fancy Pants Pete sent ye.
2. While yer at it, name your ship. An' if ye don't have a ship, hop aboard The Poison Saber of the Sargasso Sea fer a good time!
3. But before ye go lookin' fer a village to pillage, find out what kind of Pirate ye be.

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Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I eat all kinds of shit.
Tink: Literally?
Hoop: If you serve it...
Tink: How about some Poopkin Pie?
Hoop: Delicious!
Tink: Poop-A-Mint Pattie?
Hoop: Mmm Mmm.
Tink: Poopchops and Pooptatoes?
Hoop: Yummy.
Tink: I'm glad we ate BEFORE this conversation started.

5 Minutes Of Random Thoughts:
Start. America WANTS us to be fat... If it wasn't true, wouldn't health food be LESS expensive than the unhealthy stuff? At McDonalds you can get a meal with a hamburger, fries, and a drink for about $3. But to get a salad with some chicken on it and no drink, it's close to $5. One of my favorite places to eat is Crispers. Unfortunately Hoop and I can't afford to eat there too often. Not when their salads have an $8 ticket attached to them. So tell me... I can handle it. Is lettuce endangered? Are activists going to start dumping paint on my plate whenever I order a Caesar? Next thing you know they'll be advertising "Imitation Lettuce." It'll have half the nutritional value (which is pretty close to zero anyway) and be ten times less expensive. *Sigh* I think I'll go have a Big Mac. P.S. No lettuce leaves were harmed in the making of this post. End.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: *Groan*
Hoop: What's wrong babe?
Tink: I have a pot belly.
Hoop: Pfft. Whatever. You just ate.
Tink: Yeah, but does it look healthy?
Hoop: I don't understand.
Tink: You said you like girls who look "healthy."
Hoop: But you are! You're... fed.
Tink: What?! *Buries head*
Hoop: Oh shit. Are you crying or laughing?
Tink: Both. If it weren't so damn funny, I'd be SO mad at you right now!