Happy Fucking Friday
I'm having an anxiety attack.
The realtor just called to say that there are people looking at our house right now. You're probably thinking, "Well that's what happens when you put your house on the market, Tink." But it's different this time. You see, this will be the first showing where the dogs have been in the house without us... with strangers. I'm not sure who I'm more worried about. It's almost enough to make me haul ass home.
My head sounds like it's filled with a bunch of pre-teen girls at a slumber party. If I were to slow it down for you, you might hear:
"Are the dogs still there? What if Jazz got out and they couldn't get her back in? What if I come home to find a blood trail from where the dogs gnawed off the ankles of our unsuspecting house guests? Or maybe they just took off a finger. A small one. Would they sue? How much damage could a 20lb dog really do? It's not like they'd want to steal her. She's ugly. But Duff's kind of cute. Fingers probably bleed a lot. How will we sell the house then? Nothing gets up blood. NOTHING!"
Daily Hoop Conversation:
(While watching "Lost: Season 2" on DVD)
Hoop: Man, this show is twisted!
Tink: I know. You think you're getting somewhere and then they throw in that hooker.
Hoop: There's a Hooker?!
Tink: Uh, NO. Not that kind of Hooker. I was referring to the part where they get you hooked and then drag you along for the ride.
Hoop: Oh.
Tink: Dork.
Hoop: So... You about ready to watch some more Hookers?
Tink: No. But I'm ready to go watch another hooker.
Courtesy of Odd Mix:
The words for this weekend are...
Conserve
Perform
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
(Driving home from dinner)
Tink: *Puts in CD*
Hoop: Who's this?
Tink: Mindy Smith
Hoop: Is this... COUNTRY?
Tink: NO.
Hoop: *Gasp* You're listening to country!
Tink: I don't listen to country.
Hoop: Are you a closet redneck, baby?
Tink: *Lightly punches Hoop's arm*
Hoop: Alright, alright. You're NOT a redneck.
Tink: Thank you.
Hoop: A redneck would have known how to hit.
DOT: After much delay, Twisted Tink has been updated with a new chapter. "The Name Game," not just a fun activity you played as a kid. Click on over and tell me what you think!
HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND!
Copyright© 2005-2008, Pickledbeef.blogspot.com. All rights reserved
11 comments
11 Comments:
I'm a little concerned about the Mindy Smith CD. Cool sound, and I have a couple of her songs on my iPod. But, she is definately country-ish. Next thing you know you will be listening to Toby Keith and Rascal Flats.
I wouldn't worry about the dogs. Assuming you didn't leave the bra on one of them? That would be a bit embarrassing.
Maybe the fact that three people were chewed to death in your house by your puppies will make your house a cool must have. Then the new owners can brag about how there was a murder in the house. Then freak out their guest with rigged ghosty stuff.
I'm just hoping your dogs are not the leg humping variety :) Don't panic - in fact, I bet those dogs will look so at home that the people seeing it will want to buy it straight away at asking price.
I like Newt's idea. It can be the Haunted House. Old Lady Perro searching for her lost fingers...
I LOVE Mindy Smith! I hate to tell you this, but I consider her the modern version of Patsy Cline and Loretta Lynn.
Hooray for your house viewing! Fingers crossed :-)
I hope all went well with the house showing!
And um, your Lost/hooker conversation? Dude. You guys crack me UP.
I hope that your dogs snuggled peacefully and domestically while people looked at your house, causing them to say, "Awwwww....." and up their offers.
Hope your showing went well. This would not have worked for our dog. If we are not careful to get her out the front door before guests come in she christens everyones toes.
Mindy Smith is folk, not country and her first album is awesome, isn't it?
Also, you're right, hookers make everything better.
I hope it went ok w/ the dogs and the house!!!!
I love the Hoop convo about Lost. That is too funny. :)
I always get nervous if people come to the house with or without us being home. My older dog is fine. The younger one get's REALLY excited and starts spearing people in the crotch with his nose. Classy, huh?
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