Friday, September 15, 2006

Got Tits?

Growing up, they told me I had equal rights.

They lied.

The building I work in is divided into two neat sections, the office and the sales room. Any guesses where the bathrooms are located? When I started, I chalked it up to the building being so old. "Of course the women's restroom would be on the office side and the men's in the sales. This company was started back in the 50's!" But then they remodeled... and NOTHING got changed.

For the first time in three years we hired a female warehouse employee. Being the training coordinator, and the only woman on the men's sales side, I tried to make her as comfortable as possible with the awkward bathroom situation. But in the end it didn't really matter. You can only smooth a situation over so much. The facts were, she had to ask permission to be let into the office. She had to ask permission to pee. And at 5 o'clock we all went home and this poor girl stayed on for four more hours without access to the loo.

Yesterday I requested some help from one of the sales supervisors. He suggested a lunch meeting for today. I've played the corporate game. I've gone to lunch meetings, dinner meetings, meet-n-greets, and 4am seminars. So you can understand how offended I was by what happened next. I received an email from this supervisor. "Maybe we should take separate cars and meet there. I don't want anyone to think we're fucking." Because I'm just office meat, right? How professional.

It's a never ending juggle. How do you play in a man's world, still maintain your femininity, and not have it counted against you? It's because of this that I have a love/hate relationship with my pussy. It's something no man, no matter how sensitive he is, will understand. To resent a part of your body... To not be counted for what's in your head, but rather what's in your pants... To know you will always be counted as less... is a cruel realization.

And I for one, am sick of it.

Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: I need to find a job!
Tink: We need to sell this house so I can get out of mine.
Hoop: At least you have a job.
Tink: Yeah, one that requires me to have a dick to get respect.
Hoop: If it makes you feel any better, I feel like someone's removed my cock-n-balls.
Tink: Well if you're not using them, can I borrow them for awhile?

Courtesy of
Odd Mix:

The words for this weekend are...

Touch
Release

It's not to late to join the fun!

September Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. When is Hoop's birthday?
It was on August 9th. Maybe you were there and just too drunk to remember?
2. pecker rock by mount rushmore So they were created anatomically correct!
3. smoker craft stiletto Steamboat by day. Shoe by night.
4. a-d type personalities It's catching on. Mwahahaha.
5. ugly orange clothes Hoop has one he can contribute to your collection.

Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Hoop: Duff, NO!
Tink: What was he doing?
Hoop: Chewing on a piece of poop.
Tink: Ewww. No more kisses from him tonight.
Hoop: It was hanging out of his mouth like a big wad of chewing gum... Only, he wasn't just going to chew it.
Tink: Well that settles it.
Hoop: What?
Tink: You've officially put me off gum for life.

Daily Hoop Conversation 3:
Hoop: Yesterday they caught Boog (Nash's two year old son) chewing on something. They made him spit it out and saw it was a tooth!
Tink: Does he have teeth to lose?
Hoop: You don't understand. It was a huge adult molar.
Tink: What?!
Hoop: As it turns out, Mal (Tech's 12yr old daughter) had lost a tooth and it had dropped on the ground-
Tink: *Bursts out laughing* -Were they freaked?
Hoop: Finding an adult molar in a 2yr old's mouth? Uh, yeah.

Adding Insult To Injury: As I was walking outside on break, talking with my Mom on the phone, I tripped on the curb and fell flat on my face... just as our district manager pulled up to witness it. Oy.

27 Comments:

At 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read a quote yesterday, while reading an article on the death of Ann Richards, previous governor of Texas. She said that Ginger Rogers could do anything Fred Astaire did, she just did it backwards and in high heels. Maybe if we had a woman president, we'd have bathroom reforms! I am actually proud of your thoughts regarding your male co-workers. You're simply enlightened enough to know (and they obviously aren't) how incredibly STOOPID they are. If a male co-worker had said to me "Let's take separate cars so nobody thinks we're doin it",,,I'd have likely said, "RIGHT! Cause the last thing I'd want anyone thinking, is that I'd be fucking YOU". Phew.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Arabella said...

Unbelievable. I don't blame you one bit for being offended.

I cannot tell you how many times I've been in an office for a meeting and have been asked to make coffee by some gray-haired guy. My usual response is something like a blank stare, but I've finally decided that the next time it happens (and it will), I'm going to respond with some variation of, "Sorry--they no longer teach how to make it in law school. Apparently, things have changed a bit since you were there" (and, if he's really rude, I'll add, "75 years ago").

Good for you for attempting to improve the bathroom situation for this other woman.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger graymama said...

Your post reminded me of 2 things:

1) That Mike won Big Bro All-Stars over Erika, even though they played the same game.

2) The portion of Beauty's Release when she honors Inana with pleasure and joy.

I hope your face is okay.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Jay said...

Keep that emai. Just in case you need it later for something. LOL Also, there actually are laws concerning access to bathrooms at the workplace.

I'm pretty sure you guy ...er ... gals could make a lot of trouble for them if you wanted to. And, if know for sure you are giong to quit and have another job lined up, maybe you should. Just to make it easier on the ones that fallow you.

Have a great weekend.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger F&W said...

I'm all for this post -- I like your message, you make good points and it is well written!! -- but to play devil's advocate here, imagine how it must feel to be a man and know that you can't take a simple ride to a luncheon meeting without some of your co-workers thinking you're fucking your carpool buddy. So sad!

I know Brent, for one, would be MORTIFIED if someone thought that.

Additionally, imagine how having a cock and balls somehow makes you an automatic pedophile if you are nice to little kids. My case in point: my Dad was in a public bathroom one day and a little kid burst into through the door, begging my Dad to help him get his button on his pants undone so he could take a pee. Wisely, my Dad refused to help and got out of there just in case someone witnessed him helping this strange kid take his pants down, but isn't that SAD?!

Without a doubt, most of the time the world is "an old boy's club" and when I'm feeling overwhelmed by it, I think of men like my husband, my Dad, and my father-in-law and remember that they'd change the world for me if they could. Instead, they do what they can to make it a better place for women like you and me and hope that some of their hard work (and leading by example!) sticks.

Hang in there! We love ya, Tink! :o)

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Newt said...

Well written post there lady. It's very similar to the "They want to work here" comment I heard at work. While "they" were in the room. "They being women and minorities" Sometimes it's as if we are invisible in the boys club.

Chelle makes some good points that I sometimes forget about. I forget how limited men have become due to the "fear" factor society has played up.

I am always amazed how "high school" the work place is. If you are seen talking with a male or a male is seen talking with you the assumption is automatically that they MUST be fok'n. I mean, why else would a boy and a girl talk at work??????

My advice: Go home and have a beer. In fact, have two, or three, or even four.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Anonymous: "Maybe if we had a woman president, we'd have bathroom reforms!" Hoop and I both agree, we would vote for a female president. In fact I would be thrilled if she were a MINORITY female. Change can be good.

"RIGHT! Cause the last thing I'd want anyone thinking, is that I'd be fucking YOU". That's exactly what my Mom and Hoop said to tell him! :)

Arabella: I'm surprised he didn't ask you to make a sandwich too. It's the Good Ol Boys you have to watch out for. They were around when men ruled the job force, and that's a hard impression to get over.

Graymama: Have I mentioned how much I adore the "Beauty" series? I just wish it weren't so dang expensive.

Jay: I'm definitely keeping the email exchange, along with a few questionable others. But I don't really want to make waves here. I just want to get the respect I deserve or get out. Funny how I don't mind fighting for OTHER'S injustices though.

Chelle: GREAT points! I was really hoping someone would come back with the other side's argument. I feel for people like your Dad, husband, Hoop, and the GOOD male employees/employers of the world. But I don't believe this man's concerns were warranted. He seemed to voice them for the sake of making something out of it or putting me in my place. He's the kind of guy that ruins it for the good ones.

Newt: "Sometimes it's as if we are invisible in the boys club." Well said. That's exactly what it feels like sometimes. "My advice: Go home and have a beer. In fact, have two, or three, or even four." Wonderful idea!! Care to join me?

 
At 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Sarah said...

Oh. My. Gawdahmaighty.

Seriously. He said in an email, "I don't want anyone to think we're fucking?"

My jaw is ON the GROUND. That's not ok! And the replies are popping in my brain one after another like offended sexually harrassed popcorn.

"I'm sure no one would get that impression, but thanks for flattering yourself."

"After an email like that, I'd not ride in a car with you for anything."

"I might be late to our meeting. I have a meeting with human resources and my attorney. I'll be bringing a copy of your email."

Seriously, Tink, print that out and save it. And if you're feeling like causing a ruckus, forward it to his superior, the HR supervisor, your supervisor, the Pope, and hell, send it to me for safekeeping.

I am so, so sorry you have to put up with that. That's a rare and unfortunate individual you work with.

And that warehouse employee has room for a lawsuit of absolutely breathtaking proportions.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Rude Cactus said...

Seems like a crappy situation to be in. I hope you're able to get out of it soon.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Sarah: Yes, he literally said "fucking." Had he been more professional and discreet with his concerns I probably wouldn't have taken such offense. But it was the vulgar way he referred to it. As if everyone thought I was "that kind of girl." BLEH.

Rude Cactus: Thank you. I'm hoping a lot of things will get better in the near future.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you and hoop can abandon your house, move here, live in the basement of our house (which is quite nice actually LOL) for free, no stupid jobs required, we have beaches, your living room would come with a built in pool table, cable, wireless net, furniture, two bedrooms, a full bath, and a "gaming room" complete with two separate tv's, two x box games hooked up to the net, one couch, a chair, and a funky black light behind a pepsi sign, although you MIGHT have trouble getting my teenage son out of it. However I bet he and Hoop might get along great, so it comes with a built in gaming buddy too. Ya know, just an option to consider.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger mamalujo1 said...

Oh tink. I'm sorry. Here's another one of those things I wish I could just fly down there and fix.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Anonymous: LOL! You're awesome. And you've pretty much described Hoop's dream life. Have any problems with us bringing along our two little rat dogs? One likes to wear ladies lingerie and the other hops around like Tiger. It's good for entertainment value. ;)

Mamalujo1: What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger right? But thank you. Your friendship is more than I could ask for.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger phsymom said...

I had to laugh as I read anon#1's post ... I was thinking of exactly the same response as I clicked the "comments" link. I worked in an industrial plant for six years and was one of only 6 women with over 100 male employees. In the South, Texas to be precise.

We had annual "sensitivity" classes, but really I had no problems (that couldn't be worked out) with the guys. One of the first issues I had was the bathroom in the Maintenance department ... there was only one. Yes ONE individual bathroom for me and 16 guys to share. This required a meeting, convened by myself, during the lunchtime break. We covered just very basic rules of respect: 1) no bodily fluids anywhere but in the appropriate receptacle, 2) there is deoderant spray, USE IT, and 3) don't forget to lock the door.

Ah, the memories.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

Sheesh, sometimes I forget how things are in real world. As a teacher in a middle school, our woman's rights are almost the same as the men's. We did have a strange "oversight", the men's faculty restroom restroom was fully equipped with a soap dispenser to wash hands. However, the women teachers were expected to provide their own soap. (There even was a sign that indicated this.)This problem was remedied as soon as we told a female administrator. In fact, a soap dispenser was installed the next day.

I think that your supervisor's comment was bordering on harassment. (the prick)

I read your bold comment on "Back in the Day" and came for a visit. I was not disappointed; you are quite forthcoming in this post, "Got Tits."

 
At 15 September, 2006, Anonymous mamatulip said...

Wow. I can't believe he said that in an email to you. Like....wow.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Phsymom: You know... I think SHARING a bathroom would be worse than having unfairly segregated ones lol. When my little brothers were tots they would leave explosions in the bathroom. Come to think of it, that never really changed. :)

MJD: I don't know whether to be mortified or not that the first post of mine you ever read included the words, "Tits, pussy, dick, poop, and cock-n-balls" in it. *Shrug* WELCOME!! :)

Thank you all (SO VERY MUCH) for sharing your own stories. It's made me feel immeasurably better today.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Tink said...

Mama T: It gets better... I attended that lunch, because my pride wouldn't let me NOT. And he cased the joint before we sat down to make sure no one was around. F'n weird. The rest of the time we discussed work and it went along uneventfully (thank God).

 
At 15 September, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, we have two girly dogs, both of whom weigh over 100lbs each, one of which is affectionately called Heifer. Sadly she responds to it at this point. They might think your doggies are like,,,oh I don't know. Their babies! Yes right, adopted children,,,definately NOT snacks. Bring em on! Oh, we also sort of have a couple of extra cars? so if you just wanted to ditch those too, and hitch hike up here, you'll be all set!

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger Chelle Y. said...

Yeah, I cannot imagine receiving an email like that! Crazy, crazy people.

Keep it and use it for blackmail someday! Hahah!

Have a great weekend, Tink!

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger mjd said...

Ha,ha...thanks for the welcome. And, I debated whether to include calling the supervisor a prick.

Chelle y. has good advice. Keep the e-mail for future reference.

 
At 15 September, 2006, Blogger gawilli said...

Tink, I have a couple of steel tits you can borrow. Ha! I hate being a woman in a man's world, particularly an assertive woman. They don't like that too much.

Adding insult to injury Indiana style: While taking my dog out in the morning she saw a squirrel run across the yard. I did not have a sure footing on the edge of the porch and she pulled me right over as she took off. As I dropped the leash, she stopped dead in her tracks, turned around, and looked at me as if to say "Come on, slacker."

 
At 16 September, 2006, Blogger Rock said...

Unfortunately in the PC world we live in even redneck bosses have to look out for themselves. He could have used better language though.

But really - I was just at a conference where I normally take out people who run our booth and have a good time in the bar. When my girlfriend found out she was basically convinced that we held the whole thing in my hotle room and it was a one-on-one thing. Sometimes you can't win.

 
At 16 September, 2006, Blogger mrspao said...

That makes me so cross!

 
At 16 September, 2006, Blogger Chris said...

Whoa - that molar thing is WEIRD.

Suckage about work... :( *hug* I'm glad you're sticking up for that warehouse worker.

Have a great, work free weekend.

 
At 17 September, 2006, Blogger Peevish said...

You are so doing the right thing sticking up for the warehouse worker! It just sucks that you have to take so much crap for it!

 
At 19 September, 2006, Anonymous FA said...

That is the most ridiculous email I've ever heard of. I'm outraged that someone would send something like that to a co-worker...and it wasn't even sent to me!! UGH!

 

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