Aliens and Electrical Tape
1. I learned some valuable lessons over the weekend.
2. UNO: Never make lingerie out of electrical tape...
3. ...no matter how funny you think your partner will find it.
4. I'm sure my happy trail will grow back eventually, right?
5. Although I'm still looking for that missing nipple.
6. DOS: Never mix three kinds of cleaning solution in your bathtub...
7. ...unless you like not being able to smell anything for an hour.
8. What ever happened to more being better?
9. TRES: Don't introduce the foods you love to other people.
10. Otherwise, they'll rub it in every time they eat it without you.
11. CILANTRO: Don't pretend to know Spanish when you don't really know what you're saying.
12. Friday night Hoop and I went to see "The Reaping".
13. It wasn't our first movie choice. But most of the movies we want to see aren't coming out until May.
14. Despite the reviews, we thoroughly enjoyed it. Maybe it was because of our horribly low expectations. Which is the reason I'm not going to tell you anything about it.
15. No pouting! I never claimed to be nice.
16. Did you know they're making "The Hobbit" into a movie?
17. Saturday, as Hoop went off to class, I started in on the house. "It's just you and me buddy," I told it. "I have Windex and Pledge and I'm not coming out until you're clean."
18. I half expected the walls to come alive and eat me. But no. Nothing as dramatic as that. The house is entirely clean now, for the first time since we moved in!
19. Sunday I got up at the crack of dawn and drove out to my parents' house for an all-ladies shopping day...
20. ...which didn't start until NOON.
21. "That's OK Mom. I'll just have another pot of coffee."
22. Sunday evening, as I was driving home, I got stuck behind a large white truck. From the angle I was sitting I could see the driver clearly from the truck's side mirror. It must have been a trick of the light, or the way she had her hand positioned. But for five full minutes I thought I was driving behind...
23. ...an alien. No shit. It really wigged me out.
24. After I realized the driver was not an alien, but rather a puffy haired old lady with sunglasses, I started to fantasize about ways I could use aliens to scare Hoop.
25. My thought process went something like this... "What if I got a professional make-up artist to make me look like an alien and then I popped out from behind the door when Hoop got home? I bet that would scare him! Or maybe I could wake him up in the middle of the night when he's too sleepy to be thinking straight. Yeah! I bet that would scare him too."
26. But then I thought about how expensive a make-up artist would be. So I decided to call Hoop and tell him about it instead.
27. He wasn't as amused as I thought he'd be. Maybe it was because I was laughing too hard to explain it right.
28. Or maybe he was worried about anal probes.
29. Sunday afternoon, Nash and his son (QT) arrived into town...
30. ...followed by a call from his ex-wife.
31. She is agreeing to sign over her rights as QT's Mom. She claims she just doesn't have the time to invest in it.
32. As sad as that sounds, it's a victory we've all be hoping for. Now Nash and his child can move on with their lives worry free!
P.S. Twisted Tink is still under construction, and may continue to be for a couple of weeks. I'm making great headway in the revisions though. I think those who have so kindly followed along in the process will like/agree with the changes. If you have any suggestions, please comment on the site before Friday.
Tomorrow: WWC Pictures!
Labels: Weekend Recap