Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Aliens and Electrical Tape

Weekend Recap:
1. I learned some valuable lessons over the weekend.
2. UNO: Never make lingerie out of electrical tape...
3. ...no matter how funny you think your partner will find it.
4. I'm sure my happy trail will grow back eventually, right?
5. Although I'm still looking for that missing nipple.
6. DOS: Never mix three kinds of cleaning solution in your bathtub...
7. ...unless you like not being able to smell anything for an hour.
8. What ever happened to more being better?
9. TRES: Don't introduce the foods you love to other people.
10. Otherwise, they'll rub it in every time they eat it without you.
11. CILANTRO: Don't pretend to know Spanish when you don't really know what you're saying.
12. Friday night Hoop and I went to see "
The Reaping".
13. It wasn't our first movie choice. But most of the movies we want to see aren't coming out until May.
14. Despite the
reviews, we thoroughly enjoyed it. Maybe it was because of our horribly low expectations. Which is the reason I'm not going to tell you anything about it.
15. No pouting! I never claimed to be nice.
16. Did you know they're making "The Hobbit" into a
17. Saturday, as Hoop went off to class, I started in on the house. "It's just you and me buddy," I told it. "I have Windex and Pledge and I'm not coming out until you're clean."
18. I half expected the walls to come alive and eat me. But no. Nothing as dramatic as that. The house is entirely clean now, for the first time since we moved in!
19. Sunday I got up at the crack of dawn and drove out to my parents' house for an all-ladies shopping day...
20. ...which didn't start until NOON.
21. "That's OK Mom. I'll just have another pot of coffee."
22. Sunday evening, as I was driving home, I got stuck behind a large white truck. From the angle I was sitting I could see the driver clearly from the truck's side mirror. It must have been a trick of the light, or the way she had her hand positioned. But for five full minutes I thought I was driving behind...
23. ...an alien. No shit. It really wigged me out.
24. After I realized the driver was not an alien, but rather a puffy haired old lady with sunglasses, I started to fantasize about ways I could use aliens to scare Hoop.
25. My thought process went something like this... "What if I got a professional make-up artist to make me look like an alien and then I popped out from behind the door when Hoop got home? I bet that would scare him! Or maybe I could wake him up in the middle of the night when he's too sleepy to be thinking straight. Yeah! I bet that would scare him too."
26. But then I thought about how expensive a make-up artist would be. So I decided to call Hoop and tell him about it instead.
27. He wasn't as amused as I thought he'd be. Maybe it was because I was laughing too hard to explain it right.
28. Or maybe he was worried about anal probes.
29. Sunday afternoon, Nash and his son (QT) arrived into town...
30. ...followed by a call from his ex-wife.
31. She is agreeing to sign over her rights as QT's Mom. She claims she just doesn't have the time to invest in it.
32. As sad as that sounds, it's a victory we've all be hoping for. Now Nash and his child can move on with their lives worry free!

Twisted Tink is still under construction, and may continue to be for a couple of weeks. I'm making great headway in the revisions though. I think those who have so kindly followed along in the process will like/agree with the changes. If you have any suggestions, please comment on the site before Friday.

Tomorrow: WWC Pictures!



At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Mary said...

your weekend was much better than mine...though I'm glad I wasn't part of the involuntary waxing....yowzers!

Very good news about QT. Yeah it's sad, but it's the way it should be.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Chelle said...

I think I am going to copy you and start doing a weekend update. I am so lazy when it comes to blogging now.

Hey, I saw the Reaping. It was pretty good, not as bad as all the critics portrayed. I pretty much guessed what was going to happen too.

I took Brendan to see "Meet the Robersons." It was actually pretty sweet and I did cry a little (but it is a kid's movie). Great story on adoption.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Kim: The Mom, The Myth said...

I love that clean-house feeling! Rock on!

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Mignon said...

Girl, you can DIE from mixing tub-cleaning chemicals (ie, bleach and ammonia). ACHTUNG BABY! DON'T DIE!

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Jay said...

You thought that was an alien driving that truck? LOL .. don't be so silly. Everybody knows that aliens would have just beamed the truck to wherever they wanted it. ;-)

I'm pretty sure Hoop was worrying about the anal probes.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Mary: What's sad is that I knew it was going to hurt as I was putting it on. But I couldn't resist. As for Nash and QT... Let's hope he finds himself a nice girl soon. I think they both could do with a little more female lovin'.

Chelle: You can steal whatever you want girl. Except for the kitchen sink. I draw the line there.

Kim: Now if it could only stay that way. *Sigh*

Mignon: Yes, I could die. But my tub would be clean! Isn't that what really matters? ;)

Jay: You may think I was exaggerating for the sake of good blog fodder. But I swear on my favorite toe (the pinky one) it really happened exactly as I described it. That woman looked like an alien. Think "Signs." *Shudder* And I swear I hadn't been drinking. Although it WAS the day after the cleaning chemicals incident. Hm.

BTW EVERYONE: Hoop read the comments last night and replied. I could hear him laughing from the other side of the house. :)

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Mike Y said...

Umm... lingerie out of electrical tape? More details... more details ;)

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Kell said...

I've been thinking about seeing The Reaping. Glad to hear from someone who liked it.

Open a window or turn on a fan next time you want to clean the tub with that many chemicals!

At 24 April, 2007, Anonymous Michelle said...

UNO, DOS, TRES, CILANTRO? LOL! you're silly.

Electrical tape = *shudder*

Surely handi-wrap would have been easier?

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Peggy said...

Tink - Please don't EVER mix cleaning solutions again. Even undiluted bleach is a nasty thing. Years ago I burned the lining of my nose from using too much bleach in a very small bathroom. I just can't be near chlorine bleach now or the memory all comes flooding back. I'm sure there is another way to whiten your bathtub.

Good news about Nash and QT!

You can subsitute the word Coriander for Cilantro and all of Europe will know what you're talking about.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Laurasia said...

Really? The Hobbit? That's so dope. Almost better than the new word you've fancied..."Gayborhood". Eh? It is what it is.

Don't be a stranger miss lady.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Mike Y: Details hm? How can I make this R and not X? Imagine two tape circles around my you-know-whats. With an arrow pointing down to my you-know-where. That was as far as I got before I realized, "Oh man. This is really going to hurt."

Kell: Crazy thing is, neither of our bathrooms have windows. I wish I would have realized these quirks BEFORE we bought the house. :P

Michelle: We're still living on the bare minimum. So I had to make due with either tape or tin foil. And I wasn't sure how to make the foil stick.

Peggy: You burned the inside lining of your nose? OMG. Point taken. Thank you!

Laurasia: Please send me your blog address! Your profile doesn't link to it.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger fiwa said...

Girl, I hope you were at least drunk-as-a-skunk when you conceived the idea of electrical tape as lingerie. OUCH!!! It's making my eyes water just thinking about it. I hurt FOR you.

Great news about Nash and QT, and I'm off to read the Hobbit link right now.


At 24 April, 2007, Blogger meno said...

i was all reading along and laughing until i came to this: "just doesn't have the time to invest in it." She makes her son sound like a hobby or a dog.
Make sure you give this boy lots of love, he's going to need it.


At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Chris said...

I'm never going to be able to look at duct tape the same again...

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Lucia said...

Tink, Tink, Tink. I'm still so laughing about the electrical tape.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger mamatulip said...

Doesn't have the time to invest in being a mom? I'm shaking my head over that one.

I'm also shaking my head over the duct tape lingerie. Hoo boy.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger tkkerouac said...

you are funny, love your comments, I have a sexy tink I can send you if If I could get your email.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

I was laughing. and then I got to 'cilantro' and I about died. I might have peed my pants from laughing so hard, but I'm not going to tell you that.

About QT, that woman sounds like a horrible mother. Meno's right, she makes motherhood sound like a hobby. It is best that she give up her rights if she thinks like that. I hope QT will be able to one day forgive for his own sake. Poor kid.

At 24 April, 2007, Anonymous TB said...

Good lord your weekends are so much more exciting than mine. I'm lucky if I even get two showers in these days.

At 24 April, 2007, Blogger Jess Riley said...

I love these stream of consciousness posts!

I have also learned my lesson about introducing foods I love to other people. And movies.

At 25 April, 2007, Anonymous wordgirl said...

Uh...missing nipple? Did I miss something?

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger Tink said...

Fiwa: I wasn't dr- I mean... YEAH! I was drunk. That's why I did it.

Meno: Giving him lots of love will not be a hard thing to do. That's like saying, "You want some free cake?" This kid is so sweet and adorable.

Tkkerouac: Awesome! I just sent you an email.

Maggie: My hope is that he doesn't blame this on Nash one day. It's hard growing up without a Mom. He doesn't even remember what she looks like. Nash does the best he can, but it's just not the same.

TB: Your weekends will be exciting again soon. Then you can blog about your adventures and misadventures in parenting.

Wordgirl: I think it came off with the tape. That or it just blends in with the rest of my red, raw boob. ;)

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger Newt said...

"cilantro" you crack me up girl.

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger Maggie said...

I know some of this. I raised my oldest boy by myself for 6 years before I married my husband. It was tough on both of us. He had questions that really couldn't be answered with any great justice and being without a dad to look up to is rough on a kid. Leaves a little empty spot. But Nash can only do his best and QT will see that one day.

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger Ben O. said...

That's good to hear . . . I was worried for a minute or two.

Ben O.

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger Princess Banter said...

LOL! Lingerie out of electric tape? You don't saaaaaay... Hahaha! That must've been quite a site (and feeling)! I hope it was well appreciated ;)

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger Orhan Kahn said...

I'm amazed you're so suprised they'd turn The Hobbit into a film. There is still a cow to be milked ;)

I do hope it is done as well as the LOTR franchise.

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger EE said...

Man...I miss you. I can't believe *blink* and I haven't been here in a wk. WTH!?

Anyways, I love your recaps. They always rock and bring a smile to my face.

Promise to be here more often, things just hiccuped and slowed back down for me. :)

At 25 April, 2007, Blogger EE said...

Oh! And *thanks* for the tip on the electrical tape lingerie. Good to know....good to know.


At 25 April, 2007, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you realize you could have killed yourself in DOS?

At least it wasn't duct tape.

I would have absolutly rang your neck if you would jump out as an alien to me. I'm scared to death of them.;(

I hate it when people dwadle when shopping is involved. Pfft, I would have left without them.

At 13 May, 2007, Blogger mrspao said...

Maybe you should start a new Roswell?


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