Wanted: someone to play me in a made-for-TV movie.
You must be proficient in painting, not sleeping, and have the ability to fake enthusiasm. I won't lie; it doesn't pay well. But think of how great it will look on your resume! When you're done, you can replay it at night for a sleep aid.
Last night I painted baseboards until midnight. The highlight of my evening was when Hoop brought home tape so I wouldn't have to use a dust pan to separate the carpet from the wall anymore. Just typing that made me want to yawn. By eleven I had stopped pulling my hair from the paint and had started painting over it instead. There is enough DNA in my house right now to build a Tink clone.
Ah. A clone would be niiiice.
Hoop's Dad is coming in two days. If I don't sleep and skip every other meal I MIGHT get the house in order before he comes. Otherwise, I'm going to have to play Sophie's Choice on my "To Do" list. Do I clean the bathrooms or buy food? Move beds into the rooms or boxes out of them? Ugh. When does it end? I need a brain enema.
Eventually this will all be over.
There will be dishes in our cabinets and furniture in our rooms. We won't have to wash towels every night because we'll have more than two. I'll look back on all of this and laugh. The kind of laughter that is funny, not the hysterical kind I'm having right now. Hoop found two marbles in his car last night. "They're mine," I told him. "I lost them last week." He smiled in that pitying way and patted me on the head. "I know babe. I know."
April Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
1. Slime Sucker! Snot Licker!
2. Yo, make pickled beef Yo, I don't wanna.
3. "goes to my butt" What is, "EVERYTHING."
4. car drives when scary face pops out And that's how I got in the accident, officer.
5. fart poop pass gas fetish Hoop's dream chick.
6. week old beef stinks a little It's FINE. Go ahead and eat it!
7. Do you remember last night when you gave me head in the wal-mart parking lot? I should hope I remember if it was only last night.
8. nail polish evidence You've been reading too much Nancy Drew.