My Money's On The House
1. Friday evening Hoop and I tried to cook dinner. It would have been the first time in the new house.
2. Within two minutes of turning it on, the oven was billowing black smoke.
3. The seller promised the oven worked. It doesn't.
4. On further inspection I realized the inside lining had been burned off. It looks like it happened a long time ago. So apparently the oven was just for show?
5. House: 1 Tink and Hoop: 0.
6. Saturday morning we went car shopping for Hoop. His "stang" was long overdo for a trade in. It took me awhile to convince him though.
Hoop: There's nothing wrong with my car!
Tink: Oh no? How about the gas leak, oil leak, broken AC, balding tires, right rear damage, spray painted bumper, peeling tint, busted wipers-
Hoop: OK! So there's some minor problems with it.
7. The new car is a 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse, steel grey. Comparison pictures to come.
8. Sunday morning Hoop tried to install our surround sound... Again. It's been an ongoing project now for about three weeks with little success.
9. As with before, Hoop realized the attic is too small, the vaulted ceiling too high, the insulation too thick, and the walls too crowded.
10. House: 2 Tink and Hoop: 0.
11. Only this time it took him removing a piece of our outside paneling to realize it. Seeing holes in my house gives me the warm fuzzies, lemme tell ya.
12. Then our TV fell apart... Again. This will be the third TV we've had to exchange!
13. House: 3 Tink and Hoop: 0. You probably don't think this one is the house's fault. But I'm convinced it's screwing with us now.
14. Later that day we started to paint our bedroom. It went fairly quick at first, until we went to paint over the primer.
Hoop: Oh no!
Tink: What's wrong?
Hoop: The guy tinted the primer the exact same color as the paint.
15. Which meant we had no way of telling what had been painted over and what hadn't. I woke up this morning to a striped and spotted room. Apparently, the paint doesn't dry the same color too.
16. House: 4 Tink and Hoop: 0. We're on a roll now.
17. And if you want to count the windows, termites, nonfunctional outlets, and the two cabinet contractors who never called us back- House: 8 Tink and Hoop: 0.
18. To be fair, getting the ceilings textured was a fairly simple job. Of course, our fans were stolen in the process. So I'll give us each a half point. House: 8.5 Tink and Hoop: .5
19. That's pathetic.
20. Good thing Hoop and I are taking a vacation next weekend!
21. I think my sanity depends on it.
Big Bit Quote Of The Day
"Welcome to the house of flying dog bowls."
Daily Hoop Conversation:
Hoop: What are the dogs barking at?
Tink: They're mad because we locked them out.
Hoop: Maybe they're trying to tell us something.
Tink: Maybe. Phew. I think I'm high.
Hoop: That's it! They're trying to tell us we're killing ourselves!
Tink: What a crappy way to go.
Hoop: We should take a break.
Tink: We're almost done!
Hoop: *Starts breathing heavy* Paint. Fumes.
Tink: I used to tell people that when I died I was going to go back in time and be reincarnated as my dog. So it's possible that Jazz is me. And if Jazz is me, I think she'd be warning us about something else entirely.
Hoop: Like what?
Tink: Like, "Wait! Stop! You're going to regret that shade of green later!"
Daily Hoop Conversation 2:
Tink: What are you going to name your new car?
Tink: Yeah! I've always named my cars. First there was the Reliant named Tank. Then there was the Sunbird named Avery. It was highlighter blue. Then there was-
Hoop: -How about Silver?
Tink: As in, "Hi-ho Silver?"
Hoop: No. As in, that's the color of the car.
Tink: But that's boring! It's got to be something clever. My Mom once named a car James.
Tink: Home James! I think it was from "Riding Miss Daisy."
Hoop: I think you mean DRIVING.
Tink: That's what I meant.
Hoop: *Laughing* Riding Miss Daisy.
Tink: Wouldn't that be an awesome name for a porn video?
Tomorrow: Good-bye to March.