Of Sporks and Foons
If I could put a sticky on yesterday's post and leave it at the top of my blog forever, I would. It was that good. The comments were awesome guys. We even pulled Hoop out of hiding. So it's fair to say I'm all tapped out for inspired writing today. We're at the cusp of a three day weekend and my brain has already left for vacation. Instead, I bring you a bit of silliness...
THE HISTORY OF THE SPORK
1871- Edward Lear plants the seed for the first Spork (spôrk) in his poem, "The Owl and the Pussycat."
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
1874- The Spork revolution begins! Although the name "Spork" will not appear for several decades, patents for spork-like utensils are already being processed.
1943- William Mc Arthur invents the Splayd (splād), a combination spoon and blade.
1952- Hyde Ballard of Westtown, Pennsylvania files to have the name "Spork" trademarked. But instead, the name is trademarked by the Van Brode Milling Co. in 1969. The details of why Mr. Ballard never got the trademark are fuzzy. Personally, I think they Splayed him.
1996- The Spork design you know and love today was invented by Canadians, Hubert Gagnon and Aldo Balatti. Thus proving that Canadians really are the shit.
2001- The term "Foon" (fōōn) is born, an act of defiance against those who would use the much acclaimed Spork. Spork users are not amused. They demolish the rivals in a great pea eating contest.
2004- Mike Miller invents the Knork (nôrk), a combination knife and fork, while struggling to cut a slice of pizza. No one knows why he didn't just use his hands.
2005- Tink, author of the little-known blog Pickled Beef, creates the first ever Spork Defense System in an effort to stop content thieves.
May Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
Chasing boyfriend with pink dildo Was he laughing or was he screaming when you did it?
foot in my face smell aunt
Do dogs secrete oil in their butt?
Spork jewelry Hey Newt! Do you want to handle this?
Free hermaphrodite photos As if someone would PAY.
Hairy bearded beef bear
Have a great holiday weekend! I'll see you all on Tuesday.