Of Sporks and Foons
If I could put a sticky on yesterday's post and leave it at the top of my blog forever, I would. It was that good. The comments were awesome guys. We even pulled Hoop out of hiding. So it's fair to say I'm all tapped out for inspired writing today. We're at the cusp of a three day weekend and my brain has already left for vacation. Instead, I bring you a bit of silliness...
THE HISTORY OF THE SPORK
1871- Edward Lear plants the seed for the first Spork (spôrk) in his poem, "The Owl and the Pussycat."
"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
1874- The Spork revolution begins! Although the name "Spork" will not appear for several decades, patents for spork-like utensils are already being processed.
1943- William Mc Arthur invents the Splayd (splād), a combination spoon and blade.
1952- Hyde Ballard of Westtown, Pennsylvania files to have the name "Spork" trademarked. But instead, the name is trademarked by the Van Brode Milling Co. in 1969. The details of why Mr. Ballard never got the trademark are fuzzy. Personally, I think they Splayed him.
1996- The Spork design you know and love today was invented by Canadians, Hubert Gagnon and Aldo Balatti. Thus proving that Canadians really are the shit.
2001- The term "Foon" (fōōn) is born, an act of defiance against those who would use the much acclaimed Spork. Spork users are not amused. They demolish the rivals in a great pea eating contest.
2004- Mike Miller invents the Knork (nôrk), a combination knife and fork, while struggling to cut a slice of pizza. No one knows why he didn't just use his hands.
2005- Tink, author of the little-known blog Pickled Beef, creates the first ever Spork Defense System in an effort to stop content thieves.
May Search Terms:
(What people put into search engines that bring them here)
Chasing boyfriend with pink dildo Was he laughing or was he screaming when you did it?
foot in my face smell aunt
Do dogs secrete oil in their butt?
Spork jewelry Hey Newt! Do you want to handle this?
Free hermaphrodite photos As if someone would PAY.
Hairy bearded beef bear
pickle popper
Have a great holiday weekend! I'll see you all on Tuesday.
Labels: Stupidity
Copyright© 2005-2008, Pickledbeef.blogspot.com. All rights reserved
20 comments
20 Comments:
You are so funny, Tink! I love reading your blog! :)
1996- The Spork design you know and love today was invented by Canadians, Hubert Gagnon and Aldo Balatti. Thus proving that Canadians really are the shit.
**LMAO can not let my husband read this under any circumstances...he does not need a bigger head!!
This weekend, I hope you and Hoop put funny hats on your heads and run around the yard shrieking "Spork! Spork! Spork!"
While playing with your pygmy goat, of course.
:)
Happy Memorial Day! BBQ! BEER! SWIMMING! WOO!
Have a great weekend with lots o' misbehavin'!
lovins,
fiwa
"2005- Tink, author of the WORLD FAMOUS blog Pickled Beef, creates the first ever Spork Defense System in an effort to stop content thieves."
There, I fixed that part for you. ;-)
Have a great holiday weekend Tinkster!!
/I hope there is a spork categor on Jeopard soon! haha
Day 25 of May. World-wide day of the disappeared children.
THE PLANET
Earth is a place where love cannot endure,
Where death and evil roam, at each lane,
Neither kindness nor children can live secure,
Where those who cause suffering reign.
David Santos
The history of the spor-foo-nayed (whatever) was thoroughly riveting; however, I was most drawn to the drawing.
Were it not almost certainly patented, trademarked, and copyrighted, I would wish to make it my personal avatar.
That, or a lima bean with the skin off.
you've got to wonder about the people that search for those things. I sometimes think about my search history and wonder what the strangest thing I ever searched for was. Nothing to exciting.
Now go picnic your ass off and don't drink and drive!
I swear I left a comment here. Crazy. What I think I brilliantly said last night was something to this effect:
I've always hated sporks - I know call me prejudice. They are just so impotent. But, I'm thinking that as dumb as sporks are, a splayd is downright imbecilic.
A spork defense system however has some interesting aspects to it.
Happy Weekend Tink.
I first encountered the spork at KFC. Now I never eat a meal without one. That last sentance may not be 100 percent true. Have a great 3 day weekend Tink.
Aww, my husband and I remember when our two and half year old son said, "I don't need this knork." He was actually talking about a fork, but I guess his brain put the word fork and knife together. Generally, we did not give him either a fork or knife so maybe his classification for the item was utenstils that he was not allowed. Your post reminds me of our funny son and the wonderful awards that you so graciously granted last year.
Educational and entertaining! Brilliant!
Have a great weekend.
I have never used, or had need, for one of those, but I hope some day it comes up and I'm standing beside the kind of person who carries one in their back pocket.
I swear that the Boy Scouts use a spork in their mess kids. In fact, I think there's one around here someplace.
Hi Tink i know i dont know you and dont have my own blog fo ryou too link to i looked for a button to link to your email but there isnt one anyway i just wanted to say that i read your blog everyday and have sort of followed you guys through your relationship and the message from Hoop on the post before todays really made me cry - he really really loves you, if nothing else makes you feel better (i have dealt with depression myself and know that when you feel trapped at the bottom its hard) then take 5 minutes every day to read those messages. anyway thanks and i am quite embarressed at writing this in such a public place. Leff
I just love your silliness!
Thank you Leff, for delurking and leaving such a wonderful comment!
History of the spork. I can't believe I missed this last week. What was I doing??? Nothing could have been as important. This was wonderfully funny.
LMAO @ Spork Defence System.
Instant classic.
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